


Little Nightmares

by SilverFox (Yukio_Fox)



Category: IT, IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Blackouts, Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Child Abuse, Clowns, Dubious Consent, Homophobia, Horror, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Master/Pet, Master/Slave, Mental Breakdown, Mind Control, Mind Games, Multi, My First Fanfic, Occasional fluff, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Pennywise is his own Warning, Please Don't Hate Me, Rape/Non-con Elements, Religious Content, Romance, Scars, Slow Build, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Talking To Dead People, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Triggers, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-01-04 00:16:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 97,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12157722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yukio_Fox/pseuds/SilverFox
Summary: “Julian! Julian…”Can't...breath…“Julian, don't you wanna play with me?”No. Go away. Go away.“Silly, boy! We don't like silly liars here, Julian!”Stay away from me. God help me.“Julian, there is no God down here!”





	1. It Follows

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by clowns. 
> 
> This is my first work so please be kind and opinions are welcomed! Construction criticism please. No beta sorry in advance and don't be afraid to point out any flaws if you find any. Be mindful of the tags! 
> 
> Let the sinning begin! Enjoy!

“ _Julian! Julian…”_

_Can't...breath…_

_“Julian, don't you wanna play with me?”_

_No. Go away. Go away._

_“Silly, boy! We don't like silly liars here, Julian!”_

_Stay away from me. God help me._

_“Julian, there is no God down here!”_

Julian woke up screaming and clawing at his throat. The feeling of hands choking him still making him panic and lose his breath. Blinking rapidly, he came to his senses finding himself in his room. He was safe. They always felt so real though. With a shaking hand he quickly turn the lamp sitting beside him on and tried to hold back the tears that were sure to come out any second now. It was the same nightmare, the same dream, the same thing holding him down and killing him slowly.

Julian sobbed and buried his face in his knees trying to block out the images of the monster stalking his life. For the last eight year that monster had haunted his dreams and sometimes...before… his every waking moment. Controlling him, mocking him as he tried to live his life. He was trapped in a web with no escape, just a little fly waiting to be eaten by the spider. Except, this little sanctuary was the only thing keeping him going. Without it he feared his mind would have been lost a long time ago.

However, because of the little peace he received and his escape, the monster chasing him grew agitated and relentless in punishing him. He had gotten very little sleep the past eight years. Sometimes the confined space of his sanctuary made the world seem smaller than it actually was. It was of his own doing of course, but sometimes there were moments when he regretted what he had done to escape the monster chasing him.

White walls, white clothes, restricted access to many things he normally would have been able to have if he had stayed with his parents. Sacrifices had to be made to escape the thing following him and watching his every move. As long as he was inside here he would be safe. The Priest and Nuns would keep him safe. Their endless prayers and countless sermons kept the bad things away.

Julian knew he couldn't hide here forever, but for now it was enough. At least, until he found something better than a convent. When he wasn't locked up in his ‘room’, Julian would search in the library trying to find a solution to his problem. It wasn't easy, far from it, but so far the last eight years had taught him a lot. Patience was a virtue he would easily indulge in, as long as it kept him alive and well he wouldn't mind waiting more years. After all, there had to be some sort of solution to the problem. A way to finally get rid of the monster stalking him and thirsting for his death.

He shudder at the thought and wiped away the tears staining his face. A quick glance at the clock showed that it was five in the morning. With a sigh, Julian rose from his bed and walked towards the closet. He pulled out his daily attire: a white loose long sleeve shirt and loose white pants with footwear similar to woman flats that the nuns were so fond of and made him feel extremely girly. Not that he had any fighting chance against not being girly since his whole appearance made him girly. In the long eight years he had been here the nuns had refused to cut his ‘pretty white blonde locks’ and made him suffer through countless hours of learning to braid hair.

Adjusting his glasses, Julian braided his hair by memory and slipped into his shoes. Walking out of the room he headed towards the dining hall. Food was the first thing on his mind. Then afterwards he could sneak into the Library to gather more information about his problem.

“Ah, Julian, you are up early today,” came a voice from his right.

Julian flinched at the unexpected voice and forced a smile on his face as he faced the voice. It was Sister Anne, a somewhat close friend of his. She had watched over him when he first got here and taught him some of the things he should do and not do in the Convent. She had also been the one to show him the library and the forbidden section only allowed to the High Priest that came occasionally to pray over him and see how far along to him ‘soul saving’ he was. It was honestly a whole lot of pointlessness from their part. Nothing could save his soul now, not as long as that monster was stalking him.

“Yes, I thought I could get an early start to today,” Julian said as she join him towards the dining hall. She smiled at him and nodded as if it was normal for him to be up so early. She had always seen the best in him. Something he didn't quite understand. How could someone still the good inside him aster what had happened to him? Even he couldn't stand himself sometimes.

“It's your birthday today isn't it? June the third? Also the eight year anniversary of you coming to our little corner of heaven.”

He nodded and sighed. She was right, it was his birthday today. Eighteen years… he thought grimly, would he have died younger like the others? No, don't think of that now. Later. “Yes, I turn eighteen today.”

Sister Anne scowled at the unhappy tone his voice had taken before touching his shoulder lightly. “Brother Dan is coming today to check up on you. He said he would be bringing some guests as well, so please meet up with him by the court yard at the end of the day after dinner.”

“Oh, okay. I guess I can't go to the library today then?”

“I'm afraid not. You'll be helping Sister Kathrine out with gathering berries today. It'll be fun.”

Julian groaned in annoyance as she laughed at his displeasure. The last thing he wanted to do today was gather berries with old Sister Katherine. She'd make him do all the work and watch as he struggled against the bushes trying to get the most ripped berries for her. Sister Katherine was also vocal about her displeasure towards him. She didn't believe any of his story when Julian first came here eight years ago. She told him straight up that he shouldn't make people believe his childish stories of monsters under his bed stalking him. If only she knew that everything he had said was true. She would be trembling in her robes.

Julian tugged at the black leather cuff bands around his wrists hiding what was underneath. The marks existed now to remind him of what he had lost now. A cruel reminder that there was no escape, even if he sought it himself. The monster under his bed had left a horrible mark and it was more than real. “I guess if I have to… I still don't like it though. She's mean, old and smells funny.”

Sister Anne shook her head and smiled at his description of Sister Katherine. “She's not that bad, Julian. She just takes a little time to warm up to new people.”

“You said that when I was ten eight years ago. Now I'm eighteen and still she hates me just as much as when I first arrived here. She took to Sister Lorie when she came her last year. She still looks at me like I'm the worst thing she's ever seen,” Julian said grabbing his breakfast and flopping down on a bench as Sister Anne sat in front of him with an apple and a cup of water. He grabbed his toast and slowly munched at a corner. “She won't ever like me.”

“Ah, now Julian that's no way to think. I'm sure she will,” she said shaking her finger at him as if he were still the small child that had stuck to her side like a lost puppy. “Everyone opens up differently than what you might think. She's been here longer than most of us and she is set in her ways. Take her knowledge and advice wisely for she knows more than you and I..”

He grumbled and turned to look out the windows towards the garden. Already the sun was coming up and lighting up the grounds of the Convent. Another day beginning and still no solution to the problem. This was starting to look like a hopeless case to Julian. Was there no answer?

“She just likes to torment me and make fun of me,” he said finishing his breakfast quickly.

“Julian, that's not true,” Anne said with another frown on her face. He was always so reserved against other people, Anne thought shaking her head at the young teen.

“She tells me my soul is already damned and that no prayer or penitence will save me,” Julian said flicking his bangs out of his face and staring away at the nuns working at the garden. “If that is her knowledgeable advice than I rather stick to my ignorant ways.”

Sister Anne sighed sadly, her gaze flickering to the black bands hiding the scars. Those scars were the reason the poor boy was confined into the Convent in the first place. They were marks that made the other nuns whisper silently of his fate. Even his own parents had abandoned him here, never contacting him unless it was a rare occasion. In the years that she had know young boy he had rarely spoken a word about his parents. He couldn't blame him since they chose to forget their only child in attempts at a normal life. “You're different, Julian. You can still be saved.”

Julian side eyed her before standing up and wrinkling his nose adorably. “Uh, sure, I'll pray and kneel until my bones crumble, but to her I'll never be saved. I'll be going now. I'll try to see if I can sneak in some reading before Old Katherine finds me and eats me.”

“Julian! Don't say such things about your elders!” Anne said exasperated as Julian scurried away giggling at her displeasure. “Ugh, that boy's going to run into trouble one day.”

 

  
Meanwhile in Derry, Maine

 

  
A scream could be heard echoing the sewers before being brutally cut off and the sound of gleeful laughter following it. The big wolf sat down and stared at the severed head before shifting slowly back to the clown version of Its form. Clowns were Its favorite form to take. Kids were always scared of clowns. But then there were some who feared others things, but those were easily taken care of. A few changes here and there and a great big performance! Instant fear! Nothing but sweet fear!

It rose slowly and stared with a wide grin at the pathetic thing that had hardly put up a fight after being dragged down and scared shitless. Then It’s expression changed to one of distaste as It remember that it got lucky with this wondering kid looking for his lost toy. That pathetic curfew was causing Its meals to have longer intervals than expected. It would usually feed as It willingly please but since that curfew came into effect It was having problems finding children to scars and feed off.

It dragged the body deeper into the sewer system to the heart of its lair. It smiled at the pile of collected mementos of dead children and little Knick knacks that It had gather over the decades that It was alive. It sat down on the cold wet floor not minding the atmosphere it had thrived on for so long and began to eat Its meal while staring at the pile of nice little things. Something felt different to It. Something was coming. No, it wasn't those meddling kids that were slowing gathering around and forming a little club. The ‘Losers Club’. This was something else. Something was definitely coming. What could it be? A new kid? A new family?

It salivated at the thought of a new kid entering its territory. Something new and delicious to eat. But no, this… felt more different. Over the years of existing It had learned that there were other creatures out there. It would have to be daft to believe it was the only creature lurking on this earth. Others tended to stay out of the territory It had claimed as Its own, but that didn't mean that there wasn't an occasional creature that crossed into the territory seeking a meal. They were, of course, dealt with swiftly. There would be no form of competition in Its territory.

The feeling increased and It stopped eating and narrowed its glowing yellow eyes in annoyance. Whatever the thing was it was probing the edges of the territory. Testing the boundaries before backing off and repeating the process in different locations. It snarl before the feeling disappeared completely as whatever the creature was felt him grow agitated by the constant probing. It waited a while before going back to the meal. Whatever the creature was they would be dealt with when the time came. For now It would wait. There were other matters to attend to.

****

 

Julian groan as he stretch his back and headed over to the courtyard. Picking berries for that old nun had made his back ache terribly. Bending over was not one of his favorite things. The constant glare from Sister Katherine hadn't helped either. It was bad enough she had made him do all the work, but did she really had to glare at him the entire time? He didn't even get a chance to clean up before meeting Brother Dan. Oh, well, he would have to deal.

As he reached courtyard in front of the Convent he spotted Brother Dan standing beside two other people. A young couple. Both looked extremely ordinary and boring. Both had brown hair, brown eyes, average height, and a dull complexion. He wondered what they could possibly be doing with Brother Dan. Another psychiatrist to help with his nightly nightmares perhaps? Had Sister Katherine complained about his screaming again? No that couldn't be it. There were two people and not the usual glasses wearing, snobby attitude type that he had come to expect from shrinks.

“Hello,” Julian said gathering their attention and eyeing the couple with curiosity. They certainly didn't seem like psychiatrists. They were the studious type judging from their neat appearance.

Brother Dan smiled widely at his arrival and pulled him close. He ignored Julian when he tensed at the unexpected touch and gestured between the young teen and the couple. “This is Julian Sterling, the one we were just talking about. Julian, these are Dave and Beth Adams.”

Ugh, how boring, Julian thought at their names. He was right. They were boring people. “Hello, nice to meet you.”

The lady, Mrs. Adams, smiled at him. She seemed to be the kinder of the two. The older man just stared at him. “With that long hair of yours and that pretty face I almost thought you were a girl!”

Julian winced at the remark and tried to smile. Ah, yes the comments about him appearing more effeminate than male could start. He tried not to snap at the lady who couldn't possibly know how badly insulted he was at the moment.

“Most make that mistake upon first glance.”

Mr. Adams eyed him up and down with a disapproving look in his eyes. Great, Julian thought forcing his smile to widen, another one like Sister Katherine. He figured from the looks he had gotten from the man that he was going to be the difficult one of the two.

“Yes, very girly,” Mr. Adams said before turning his eyes to Brother Dan. “Since his parents pass the responsibility of their son on to us we'll be taking him now.”

“Wait just a moment! Where exactly are you taking me where?! Passed on the responsibility? I'm not a dog! You people need to explain yourself right now.” Julian exclaimed in shock. Leave the Convent? Leave the place he had made his sanctuary? No way in hell he was leaving his place. Especially with these strangers.

Mr. Adams stared him down. “Don't worry, we know about your little problem and we will be taking you somewhere we know it's safe for you.”

“My little problem? Know? What are you talking about?” Julian demanded. His parents hadn't contacted him in years. They chose now to do something about him? They didn't even come visit him.

“Your parents contacted us and explained the situation, sweetie. You'll be living with us in a safe place,” explained Mr. Adams staring at him with an open gaze. He wanted to believe her so badly. A safe place that wasn't a holy ground? That sounded like a dream come true

Julian shook his head in disapproval. He knew better now, though. “No, I'm not leaving this place! I'm not going back out there so something can drag me into the woods and eat me!”

“Julian!” Brother Dan chastised making Julian remember that he was there. “These people know about your previous incident and are willing to deal with what comes their way. Please show some respect.”

“You think just because they know of what happened that I'm going to put my trust into some strangers with my life?! I'm not crazy! Neither do I have a death wish!” Julian said stubbornly. He knew now that fate wasn't easy to him. These two strangers were not going to change that now.

Mr. Adams narrowed his brown eyes at him. “Listen, kid, we’re experts in these kinds of things. We've dealt with situations similar to yours before. We know what we're doing.”

“You say that but—”

“That pesky thing following you won't be able to follow us where we are going. We made sure of it. We need to lure it towards you and kill it while it's hunting you—”

“You're going to use me as bait?!” Julian cried in outrage. Just who were these crazy people?

“You want to live the rest of your life here picking away at the walls while the that thing outside waits for you to allow it in and break you?” Mr. Adams said glaring at the stubborn kid.

Julian grunted in annoyance at the statement. He didn't want to live here the rest of his life. The walls of this place were just getting smaller each day. What once was a sanctuary to him now felt like a gilded cage. What other options did he have now? To believe what they were offering? Unless what they were offering….but no..it couldn't possibly be true.

“I won't be safe unless I stay here.” He argued, more to himself than to them.

Mrs. Adams smiled at him knowingly. “Don't worry, where we are going there is something that will scare that thing away. Unless it is dumb enough to follow us in, but we highly doubt that. We'll be killing two birds with one stone hopefully.”

Julian stare at them skeptically before sighing in defeat. He knew it was time to leave his safe haven. He just hoped that it's wasn't a mistake, because mistakes like those could get him killed. “And where exactly are we going?”

Mr. Adams smiled at the defeated kid. “I hear the weather is lovely this time of year in good old Derry, Maine.”

“Derry, Maine? What hell hole is that at?”


	2. Welcome to Derry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is off character since I haven't seen the film. O___O

“People actually live in this place?” Julian asked removing a spider web blocking the entrance to the house with a stick he had found on the ground. He tried not to judge the house too harshly from its exterior. Never judge a book by it’s cover and what not, but this house was making it very hard for him to keep a positive attitude. It was like it was doing it on purpose. He dropped the stick when he saw the angry spider climb quickly towards his hand.

Dave, as he told Julian to call him, sighed and pushed past him to get inside. “Yes, people live around here, Julian.”

Julian scowled as he followed the older man inside the house and took in the worn down appearance of the interior. Yup, this house was definitely doing it on purpose. He made a face at all the dust. If he didn't leave this place without some sort of breathing problem, than he was more lucky than he originally thought. And maybe some day pigs will fly. “The Convent has seen better days than this place. Why did I even agree to come with you?”

“It's not that bad, Julian,” Beth said pushing in some suitcases through the door and setting them down on the dusty floor. Julian had learned that she was the cheerful of the two. She had kept him up with stories of pat adventures. Her bubbly attitude as going to sour his mood more.

“Well, since most of your clothes consisted of attire the Convent provided for you we'll go shopping for some appropriate clothing. And go cut your hair.” She continued with a wide smile.

Julian tugged at his hair in excitement. He hadn't had a hair cut in such a long time. Eight years to be exact. It seemed shallow of him, but getting a haircut had been one of the many reasons he had ditched his small sanctuary to come here with the two crazy adults. Also the promise of getting rid of the monster that had been stalking him was a big part of the reason as well.

“Great! Let's go now! I don't want to be mistaken as a girl while I stay here with you two weirdos.” They were already going to attract so much attention to themselves. With Beth's cheerful demeanor and Dave's stone cold serious gaze they were sure to stand out in the small town.

“Now, hold up kid,” Dave said pulling out a small book with a red cross engraved on the front from his inside coat pocket. “ We have some more important things to do than getting your girly hair cut off. As I explained to you on the way up here, we have to set up around this house and scout the area to make sure nothing followed us into town. Highly unlikely considering… anyways me and Beth will be setting up the defenses as a safety precaution just in case something was stupid enough to follows in here.”

“What makes you so sure something didn't follow us into town?” Julian asked inspecting the backyard through the window. The backyard was in a similar state if not worse than the interior of the house. Weeds and old junk were scattered across it along with piles of broken tree branches. “That's going to be a nuisance to clean up.”

Dave and Beth shared a look behind Julian's back. They were both debating whether to tell the kid about the happenings occurring in the town or to keep it silent to protect him better. The more the kid knew about what was happening the more likely he would do something stupid. Like run away back to the safety of the Convent. On the other hand, the less he knew the more likely the creature residing in the town would be attracted to him. With him being unaware of the problem all together he would become an easy target. They both assumed it was unlikely the creature would go after Julian since he was older than what the victims were recorded to be. Then again Julian seem to have his own magnet for attracting trouble wherever he went.

“There's a sort of self protection in the town,” Beth said vaguely sorting out the house as best as she could. She wasn't going to be the one to break it to the kid that another monster was here in the town and that it preyed on young children.

Julian turn around to face her with a scowl. “Self protection? What kind of protection is strong enough to keep…things away from this town?”

“The kind that will keep your ass out of trouble. Now, go out and explore the town, but don't stray too far from the house. Stay inside the town lines. No going around looking for trouble,” Dave ordered pulling out white chalk and starting to draw symbols on the floors and walls.

“Okay, dad,” Julian said sarcastically. “Want me to also do my homework and clean my room? Maybe walk the dog while I'm at it as well.”

“A little less sarcasm kid. That's bound to get you in trouble. Here take some money and go buy you some chips or something. You've never been outside the Convent in the last eight years so it might surprise you what the new world will have now.”

“You act like it's been decades since I've been outside that place. I'm pretty sure nothing has change in the years since I've been away.”

Dave glanced up from his work to study Julian who was once again staring out the window. “This place might surprise you. You're not the little ten year old hiding behind his mother's skirt anymore. Plus you don't have friends. Take it as a new start to your new life outside of the Convent.”

“Whatever. I'm going to go see if this place has some decent food joints around. Hopefully the food is better than what I had back in the Convent,” he said waving at the working couple while walking out the door into the sidewalk. He took a big breath before continuing down the street.

The first thing that Julian noticed was that there were very few kids playing in their front yards. Those that were playing around were gathered in tight groups and skittish when he walked by them. They immediately scurried away from him as he passed by and stared at him until he was a safe distance away before going back to playing. He tried his best to ignore it. He was used to the treatment of being an outcast. His first days in the Convent weren't something he liked to remember often. They were days filled with isolation and slight discrimination considering what had gotten him in there in the first place.

He glanced at his leather wrists bands in disdain. Maybe one day when the scars were gone he could fine the courage to take them off. For now they would serve as a small protection against prying eyes. He had found that covering them make people more friendly towards him. Looks of pity were always thrown his way when they had been uncovered. His ears had always picked up their whispers as he passed by the nuns. Their cruel words had stung deeply in his childish mind making sure his distrust of people grew. People would always look down on him because of it.   
  
“This town is so…” he trailed off walking around the town. “Weird. Pfft, self protection. This place isn't going to protect me from anything. Maybe I should have stayed in the Convent.”  
  
He took everything in as he walked by buildings. It was so small, yet compared to the Convent it was pure freedom. He couldn't help but feel a little joy at being able to stretch his wings in a bigger place. The Convent had a way of making him feel trap, but this place was more open and he could explore it all summer long. There were knew things waiting to be explore at every corner.

At least there isn't anything out of the ordinary of this place, Julian thought passing another street and catching sight of a group of teenagers around his age cornering a young skinny looking kid. Spoke too soon, he thought staring at the scene. It was clear that the gang was about to beat the poor kid up. He stopped and watched the scene unfold.

“Come on, hold him down!”

“There's no getting away this time momma’s boy!”

“Yeah, no friends to help you out this time!”

Julian glanced behind him to see if there was anyone coming this way. When he didn't notice anyone that could possibly help appear he hurried over to the group. He closed in as the punk with the bad mullet was lifting his arm back to punch the young boy in the face. Thankfully the groupies were to busy laughing at the young kids struggles to get away from the bully to notice him walking towards them. He scowled in anger at their horrible treatment of the kid. Who picks on a small kid? Apparently these jerks did.

He caught the mullet teen’s hand before it reach the kid's face. Julian took advantage of his surprise save and pushed mullet dude back away from the kid and stood between them. He glanced briefly behind at the kid to make sure he was okay.

“Picking on little kids now, how pathetic do you have to be?” He asked crossing his arms and staring down mullet dude with disapproval. He might not have much experience if the world, but he sure knew that it was wrong to do those sort of things to other people. He knew a little well first hand what it felt to be powerless against someone stronger than oneself. He wasn't about to let them try to hit the poor kid.

He smiled at the groups sudden surprised at watching him appear out of nowhere. It wasn't every day he could stop something like this. “Didn't your mother teach you manners?”

Mullet dude growled at him and got up in Julian’s space making him scowl at how close the guy was getting. Julian raised an eyebrow when the guy gave him a smug grin. “Listen girl, stay out of this if you know what's best for you. Cry baby and I have a personal score to settle. Now beat it!”

Julian felt his eye twitch in irritation. Again with the effeminate statements? Happy thoughts, Julian. “No you listen, bad hair cut, go away and leave the kid alone before you regret it.”

He made the mistake of turning around to check on the kid again when he felt a hand grasp the end of his braid and tug hard. “No girl is going to tell me what to do. Get out of the way flat chest.”

“That's it,” Julian growled in anger and quickly turn around landing a good kick on mullet dude’s stomach making him double over and release his hair. “First of all, ass hat, I'm a dude.” He grabbed the dudes wrist and twisted it back until he heard a satisfying pop sound. “And second of all, leave before I do the same to your other wrist. Take your monkey lackeys while you're at it.”

The other two guys, who had been keeping quiet for most of the interaction, pulled mullet dude away from Julian before he broke the other guy’s wrist. He watch them retreat with a small smile. He knew there was a little strength hidden inside his small thin stature. It was one of the more charming characteristics he had gain with his small problem. As expected from a bunch of monkeys with small egos they glared at him and did as told but before they were gone for good mullet dude scream threats about coming after him and that he better watch his back. The usually stuff he was now coming to expect from the ass hat.

He ignored them and turned back to check the kid. The kid was pulling out an inhaler and taking some puffs of his medicine. Never a good sign. “Hey, calm down, they're gone now.”

Big doe brown eyes stared up him as he lean over the kid inspecting him for any other injuries beside the bruises forming on his arms from where the other had held him down. He sighed in relief that the kid had manage to escape with just that. Who knows what they would have done to him if hadn't been here to stop them.

“Thank you for saving me.”

“Don't mention it,” he said dismissing the kid’s thanks. “I'm Julian.”

“I'm Eddie,” the kid said gathering his things up from the ground. Julian crouch down and helped him pick up what looked like medicine bottles and random medical trinkets like tissue paper and Band-Aids. He watched the kid shy peek at him as they gathered his things up. “Are you really a guy?”

“Yes, don't I look like a guy?” Julian asked not minding the kids question. If anyone else had asked that he would have shot back a few insult, but coming from the kid he couldn't help but smile.

“Not really…” Eddie said staring at Julian. Julian glanced up at him and smiled. Eddie felt himself blush at the attention. The older teen had a delicate fair complexion that made him appear more girlish looking than masculine. The long hair didn't help out either, but it didn't take away from his beauty.

“Maybe it's time I took some scissors to this hair,” Julian murmured standing up and helping Eddie up as well. Eddie, he noticed, was a small fragile thing. He felt like a breeze would blow the kid away. He was short, and sickly looking with fluffy dark brown hair and freckles sprinkled on his face. “Want me to walk you home? Keep those jerks off your back and what not?”

Eddie blushed again at the attention of the older guy. “Uh…”

The older teen, oblivious to the younger’s discomfort, tugged the kid along enthusiastically treading along. “Little kids shouldn't be alone in the streets. How old are you? Eleven? Twelve? You can't be older than twelve.”

“I'm fourteen…” Eddie trailed off in embarrassment. Did he really look like a twelve year old? What did that mean? Did he look like a baby when he was twelve…?

“Really?” Julian said turning to stare at the short kid–teen beside him. He raised an eyebrow in surprise. The kid didn't appear to be a teenager. He looked more like a prepubescent kid than a teenager entering his first stages of adult hood. “You look younger.”

Eddie scowled and fiddled with his shirt. “Says the guy who looks like a girl,” he barked back in defense. He immediately felt bad for talking so rudely to the guy who had saved him from Bowers.

Julian blinked owlishly before bursting out laughing. It was like watching a small kitten try to hiss back. He found it extremely cute as the kid look totally mortified to have talked back to him. The kid had some spirit in him “Whoa, so you can defend yourself. Keep that attitude and you'll be keeping those jerks off your back in no time.”

“Sorry,” Eddie said sheepishly. “I didn't mean to sound rude or anything.”

“Don't worry about. Sensitive subject, trust me I know. We all have one.”

Julian smiled warmly at Eddie making the younger teen flush red. Eddie hid his face away from the older teen. He couldn't help but find the older teenager attractive. Maybe it was because he looked more like a girl than a guy, but there was something about him that made Eddie want to get to know him better.

“Sooo, where am I walking you to?” Julian asked swinging his hands back and forth. The little teenager beside him ignited the protective instincts inside him. He had the strange urge to cuddle up against the small teen.

“I was actually going to meet some friends before…uh, you can tag along too if you want?” Eddie explained looking back at the older teen.

Julian gave Eddie a side glance. “You sure they won't mind a stranger tagging along?”

Eddie shook his head. “Nah, I'm sure they'll be thankful since you saved me from those assholes earlier.”

Julian shrugged. “Sure, it's not like I was really doing anything before.”

He smiled at the younger teen’s beaming face before allowing himself to be tugged away. It was nice to make new friends. It had been so long since he had any interaction with kids his age. All the interactions he had ever had were with adults. Most of the time it was boring conversations about how he was doing or prayers at the Convent. Also since getting out of the Convent the Adams weren't to keen in talking to a teenager. They just explained where they were taking him and things he should and shouldn't do. They were more like strict jailers than actual saviors.

Eddie was like a breath of fresh air in his miserable life. Even if the small boy appeared to be more like a lamb among wolves with his small stature and innocent air. There were no knowing looks like the nuns would give him when he walked around the Convent or the reprimanding stares that Dave seemed to give him when he tried to find out more about his situation. Eddie was just something normal for once. Something he would have been if his life hadn't gone to compete shit at the age of ten.

Even now thinking about his past made him pause. Would the young teen still even talk to him if he knew? If he discovered what dark secrets laid buried in his closet? It was hard to imagine the Eddie being okay with his past…hell, it was hard to imagine anyone actually being okay with his past. Something so dark and twisted should be kept locked away, key thrown away, and buried forever. The reminders were still there though and they continued to follow him no matter how hard he tried to run. Running wasn't helping anymore.

“….around when we have to meet each other. It's become our meeting spot. You'll like the others. Especially Richie. He might come off as a jerk but once you warm up to him he's pretty funny and smart.” Julian tuned in from his mini self pity party to catch the last of Eddie’s conversation. The kid sure did value his friends. No wonder considering he was such a tiny thing. It was cute how he gushed about his friends to him.

“Seems like a fun group,” he said forcing a smile and cheery tone trying to disguise the fact that not a while ago his thoughts were going down a spiral of darkness.

Eddie nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, they're great. We tend to stick together to avoid problems like Henry Bowers and his gang, but sometimes they catch us separated.”

Julian wrinkled his nose in distaste. “The mullet guy? That's his name?”

“Oh, that's right, you don't know him like the rest of us do. He's the town bully. Him and the guys that hang around him. They're complete jerks and torment us all the time. I guess now you're one of his targets considering you stopped him earlier…sorry about that,” Eddie said grimly.

He didn't mean to drag Julian into the Bowers gang’s attention. Now that he knew that Julian was actually a pretty cool guy he didn't want him to be a target like him or his friends. At first, like Bowers, he had thought Julian was a girl, but after witnessing the kick to Bowers’ stomach and breaking his wrist he was convinced the girl was actually a guy. A very pretty guy. Eddie blushed at the thought. Seriously, did he just think that. Richie is also a pretty. His face became even redder. He must have lost his mind during the fight. Richie was his friend. A friend that he admired. Yeah, that was it...

“Hey, what's with your face?” Asked Julian poking Eddie on the side as he watch the kid slowly turn bright red. The color was nice on the kid’s face. It contrasted against the pale sickly tone he had. “It's okay about the whole mullet guy situation. Don't go freaking out about it. I figured it was bound to happen considering I was never good with people like him in the first place.”

Eddie was glad for Julian’s oblivious thinking. “I still feel responsible…”

“Nah, don't over think it. I can take care of myself,” Julian reassured smiling at him. Eddie was taken aback by how nice Julian was. Don't get him wrong, Julian had to be nice for stepping in when he clearly didn't have to, but Julian seemed like the type of guy to help an old lady cross the street. He took in the older teenager’s appearance. Julian had very light blonde hair, tall lanky limbs, pale skin, but what really stood out to Eddie was his eyes. Traditionally he expect blue and they were blue, a deep blue hue, but what stood out was that as the color closed in on the pupils it turned a deep amber color. The amber of his eyes seem like fire trying to escape from inside Julian. It almost made him ethereal.

“…all the berries by myself! Didn't even get to eat any,” grumbled Julian bring Eddie out of his study of the older teen. “Old hag.”

“Uh—“

“Yo, Eds, who's the chick?” Called a voice making Eddie jump in surprise. He had been so deep in thought that he hadn't noticed when they had come upon the group gathered around their usually meeting spot.

Eddie turn with a smile to face Richie who was squinting at Julian behind his glasses. “Hi Richie, this is Julian.”

Julian narrowed his eyes at the bespectacled teen. “Chick?”

Mike glanced up from his book to stare at the blonde girl standing beside Eddie. She was older than all of them, maybe by two year. Mike watched as the others stared at her as well. He noticed her left eye twitching and her fists balling up.

Eddie quickly jumped to correct Richie from his mistake. He didn't want his friend to get punched because of a misunderstanding. He had noticed that Julian hated being confused for a girl. The proof was in Bowers’ broken wrist. “No, no, he's a guy, Richie. Like you and me.”

Richie stared intensely at Julian. “Huh, really? I guess you're right. No girl is that flat chested.”

“Happy thoughts.” Eddie heard Julian whisper beside him. Crisis averted.

Bill, who had been sitting on a rock watching the scene, stood up. He hadn't expected to have some stranger to tag along to their meeting. “W-w-what's he doing here?”

"He saved me from Bowers earlier. He's good.” Eddie said staring at Bill.

Bill still wasn't convinced. Most of the older people were skeptical about believing there was a creature stalking and preying on the young children of Derry. Julian might just be one of those people to calls them crazy after they tell him the truth about the town. Not many took the news that there might be some thing wrong with the town very well. Most reacted people reacted with ignorance and summed it up to be a teen's wild imagination.

Bev noticed the disapproving look Bill was given Julian and tried to step in to clear the tension that was slowly building. “Why don't we introduce yourself to Julian? I'm Beverly, but you can call me Bev.”

“Mike,” said the dark skin kid with his nose buried in his book. He waved in Julian's direction but didn't look up.

“I'm Ben, nice to meet you,” said the chubby kid with a warm smile.

“You can call me Stan,” said the curry hair teen who had also adopted a standoffish attitude.

Bill stayed quieting with his arms crossed. Bev sighed and gestured towards him. “And this is Bill. You already met Eddie and the guy beside him is Richie.”

Julian noticed right away that they were a group of misfits. They all seemed to have something that made them stand out from the crowd. Beverly with her short tomboyish look, Ben the over weight one, Mike with his skin color, Bill’s stutter, Eddie’s small stature, Richie’s glasses and he Stan…well he wasn't quite sure why Stan was with them. Their differences made them fit more together than they thought. He admired their closeness as friends. It was obvious, like Eddie talking about them earlier, that they stuck together. Bill’s slight distrust was also obvious. Like a protective sheep dog watching over its flock, Julian thought smiling at the group.

Richie studied the guy beside Eddie more closely trying to recall if he had ever met someone like him in town before. “I haven't seen you in town before have I?”

“Uh, no I'm new in town. Just got in today,” Julian explained casually.

Mike looked up from his book. “You should have stayed away.”

“Mike!” Bev warned making Mike quiet down. “Ignore him. We all have been a little skittish lately.”

“More like scared shitless,” Richie muttered earning a disapproving looks from Bev. Sometimes she seriously was like a mother hen. “What, it's true.”

“Something tells me that I tagged along on the wrong day,” Julian said glancing between all the younger teens. “I should go.”

Eddie tried to stop him but the others, except for Bev, nodded at Julian's statement. It wasn't that they were trying to be mean. It was just that they had been having a rough couple days with the creepy clown stalking the town and making their lives difficult. Eddie admired Julian for not trying to undo the tension. More proof that Julian was good at heart. It made him a little sad to see him leave.

“Don't be a stranger kid,” Julian said ruffling Eddie’s hair messing up his neat hair do. “See you around.”

Eddie watched him leave before turning to face the group in anger. “Was that really necessary?”

Richie scowled at Eddie. It was so rare to see his friend get angry so quickly. Eddie was usually the calm one of the group. “What, sad to see your boyfriend leave?” He said bitterly. He didn't like how quickly Eddie seemed to take to the stranger. Just because he had saved Eddie from Bowers.

“Knock it off, Richie,” Eddie said.

“Guys, come on, let's get to the point of what we're here for. Let's worry about Julian later,” Bev said turning to Bill.

Bill nodded. He pushed the encounter to the back of his mind and concentrated on the main reason they had gather around. He was determined to seek real answers to Georgie's death. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No idea where this story is going tbh. I just know someone's going to die at one point and there's going to be some freaky clown sex as well.


	3. Mist and Frost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back story time 
> 
> I think there is implied underage rape? Vague concept. 
> 
> Wasn't sure to post this before or after he met Pennywise *shrug*

 

_  
"Amidst the mists and fiercest frosts…”_

  
**SEVEN YEARS AGO**

  
“There we go my _pet_ ,” purred the towering figure arranging the clothing. The little blonde boy sat motionless in the large chair, eyes staring off with an empty expression. Blood tainted clothes scattered around him as he was being slowly redressed in golden robes. A clawed hand slowly petted the soft blond hair. “All nice and clean again.”

Demonic red eyes glowed with glee at the doll like state of the boy. Abanus didn't normally take in victims and kept them alive, but the little boy had sparked his interest. Not may could capture the demon’s interest. A few lost souls he stumbled upon every now and then, but the boy had him captivated. It wasn't the innocent appearance that all children seem to carry or the thrill of another meal. No, there was something special about his little Jewel.

Abanus had strayed from his territory and followed the boy until he snatched him up and ate a good chunk of his soul before managing to reel in his hunger. He would fixed the dead look soon enough. His pet was more entertaining when fully awake and not a dead shell. The boy put up such a sweet fight before succumbing to the demon’s powerful aura. It would be a great shame to let him waste away.

 

****

  
“Julian, don't move,” the demon towering over him hissed. Julian sobbed louder as the demon clawed at his exposed belly and stilled his assault above him. It hurts. Make it stop.

“No!”

“Julian, don't you want to play with meee?” The demon said sweetly licking up the blood. Julian felt the slimy tongue reach inside places that made him feel violated to his soul. The small body thrashed in his grip, small hands tried and failed to push him away. “I'm almost doneee. Then you can be mine. All miiine. Mine. Mine. _Mine_.”

The boy cried as the demon continued to lick away the blood dripping down his naked body, twisting and turning the boy to reach the blood covering his small body. Abanus dropped the boy back down on the ground. He pried the boy’s mouth open and forced the goblet filled with his own blood down the boys throat. The boy chocked and gagged on the demon's thick blood, spitting most of it out. The demon hissed in disproval and tired again. Abanus watched in satisfaction as the boys blue eyes slowly turned amber in color, his hair became white and his skin became even more fair. Yes, he would soon be only his. His _pet_.

The demon so engrossed in his devious act didn't notice the priest making his way towards him. The priest gave a small prayer before pointing the gun to the demon’s chest. A gun shot echoed through the abandoned church school. The demon hiss, crawling away from his precious pet as blood splattered on the ground from his wound. It's red eyes zeroed in on the priest standing protectively over his pet, cross firmly held in one hand while the other pointed a gun towards him.

The priest continued to point the gun to the wounded demon, making sure it wouldn't get to close and attack. All he need was another direct hit to the core of the demon and it would soon cease to exist.

“Don't more now, filth, and I'll make this quick,” the priest said.

Abanus growled. He knew he was too wounded to do much. The little priest had hit him close to his core and another hit would prove to be his undoing. The deed had almost complete. Just a little more time and the boy would have been his. He cursed that he would have to wait and heal before returning to his Jewel. In a mist of darkness the demon screeched at the priest before it scrambled away.

“Shit,” the priest said once the demon was gone. He quickly gathered the small naked boy in his coat and hurried out of the school house. He had been following the demon's movements ever since it had disappeared from his own cave down south. He found it strange that it ventured north. Demons were recluse, they tended to avoid treading on each other's territories, but this specific demon had been bold. The priest soon discovered in horror at what exactly it was after.

Alexander glanced down at the shell shock boy shivering in his arms. He took in the changes in the boy. He barely managed to get there to stop the demon before it turned the boy into a salve. Many who were lost to a demon's blood became sinister shells of the humans the once had been. The effects of the demonic blood were so different on each individual human, but he could tell that if he had been just a few more minutes late the boy would have been a Reaper. So similar to what normal people called a vampire. Blood thirsty and ready to please their masters with blood and carnage. Reaper were extremely beautiful and alluring. The pheromones produced by a Reaper helped attracted humans like months to a flame before killing their prey and delivering their bounty to their masters. The boy had gotten lucky.

 

****

  
“All he does is stare at the wall when he’s awake. He barely moves. He hardly eats,” Julian's mom cried to the priest who had come visit the family again. “He's not _our_ little boy anymore.”

“I know,” the priest said grimly. “We don't know the extent of the damage done to your son, ma'am. He may seem fine on the outside, but on the inside who knows what that monster did to your son.”

Julian's father cradled his wife and rubbed her back reassuringly. “Is there anything we can do to help him? Maybe there's something that will snap him from…this.”

“Let me have a look at him again. Maybe talking to him will help out.” Alexander followed the family up the stairs towards the boy’s room. He pushed open the door, but found the room empty. “He's not here.”

“What? No, he was here just a while ago,” the mom said going inside the room. “Julian? Sweetie?”

Julian's father checked under the bed and inside the closet. “Honey, go check the bathroom down the hall. Maybe he went to take another bath.”

A pit of dread formed in Alexander’s stomach. He followed behind the mother and stopped her before reaching the bathroom door. The door was slightly ajar. He had a bad feeling about this. “No. Wait, let me go in first.”

The mother noticed the priest’s attitude and began panicking. “He's my son. I'll go in first.”

“No wait—!”

Alexander was unable to stop her from jerking the the door open and peering into the scene inside. Her blood curdling screams still managed to keep him up awake at night.

 

****

 

 _Mommy was a house wife. She stayed home and watched him. She would sing him to sleep_.

Justin stared numbly at his mother. She once, before he knew what monsters hid inside the shadows were, filled his body with warmth. He missed that warmth. He missed being oblivious and happy. He missed rainy days were he would run around splashing in puddles. He missed eating ice cream and playing with his friends. He missed the life he had before. Now all he had was this numb feeling in his bones. A coldness that wouldn't fade no matter how close to a fire he sat. It was a cold feeling residing inside him eating him from the inside out.

He looked up at his mother from underneath his bangs as she kissed his forehead. “Be good, Julian. Don't get into too much trouble.”

 _Mommy, don't go_ , he wanted to cry out. He wanted to cling to his mother and never let go. He wanted her to make the monsters go away. He wanted her warmth too fill the void inside him.

 _Daddy was a businessman. He would work early and come home late. He would always read him books about sea turtles_.

His father ruffled his hair and crouched down in front of him. His father was a hard working businessman. He had always been busy, but always had made time for him. His father always had smiled at him with crinkled eyes. His grandparents had told him once that he was a splitting imagine if his dad. A miniature version of his dad.

“Now, Julian, you'll be safe here,” his father told him smiling at him. It wasn't the same daddy… that smile doesn't reach your eyes anymore. “The nuns are the nicest ladies around. They'll keep you safe.”

Julian wanted to scream, to cry out, to throw a tantrum at how unfair it all was. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair!

“Once you can come out, Julian we'll go to that place you always wanted to visit. The one with the sea turtles,” his father continued pulling his stiff body into a hug. Julian watched his dad and mom walk away and wave at him one last time. He felt the tears prickling his eyes.

 _Mommy and daddy had always smiled with their eyes but now all their eyes told him was that they were sad_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abanus looks like Agreus who is a satyr of Greek mythology that appears in Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2


	4. Do You Wanna Dance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Celebrating me and my twins birthday with this new post ^__^
> 
> I now have a somewhat good idea where this is going. It's gonna get dark and twisted fast very soon. 
> 
>  
> 
> Cheers!

“I really should have paid more attention to where the kid was taking me,” Julian sighed making another turn down an unknown street. And the worse thing was that he was still hungry. He had been so distracted by Eddie to properly find a café or something. “How did I end up here?”

He noticed the further he went down the street the more deserted it became. The atmosphere also seemed to change. It became darker and more ominous. Almost like something was watching him from behind the trees. He shuddered at the thought. He had to get his imagination under control. He was safe here.

Then he stopped once he came upon an old rundown abandoned house. So that's why it was deserted. He glanced back to where he came from. Maybe he should go back. This was clearly not the way he came from. He quickly turn but a flash of red caught his eye and his gaze returned back to the rundown house. Wait, was that a floating balloon? Where did that come from? He flinch when the balloon started coming closer to him.

Julian felt in a trance as he stared at the balloon. He reached out to touch it once it was closer to him. He poked at it and watched it move away. It was such a vibrant red color that contrasted with the dark background. It must have come from a party nearby. He looked around to see if there were any little kids hiding. Maybe they had watched him come by and hid from him? Little kids were so against strangers back when he was a ten year old. Julian poked it again following it when it moved away from him. He suddenly had the stranger urge to pop it.

“Hiya!” Said a voice making Julian jump and yelp. He spun around and took in the clown, a literal clown, standing in front of him. A really tall clown with a vintage looking suit and white makeup with red markings going up his face past his eyes and ending around his eyebrows. Julian caught its blue eyes watching him with interest as the clown tilted his head studying him. “You're new.”

“Uh, yeah…you're a clown…” Julian said backing away when the clown took a step towards him. There was something off about the guy in front of him. “Is there a party going on…?”

The clown smiled widely showing off its bunny teeth. “Why, yes, there's a great party. You should join.”

“No thanks I'm just trying to find my way back.” Julian stated never taking his eyes off the weird clown. Were clowns even allowed to look like a that? He looked a little deranged.

“That's not nice,” the clown said in an almost hurt tone. Was he mocking him…

“Look, dude, go make balloon animals or something at whatever party you were at. I'm going to go home now.” As Julian took a step, a very wide step, around the clown. Said clown blocked his exist grinning widely again at his uneasiness. This clown seriously ignited the creep vibes inside of him.

“Pretty girls like you shouldn't be so mean,” the clown said aggressively with a smile. A clown had no right looking so freakish. Weren't they supposed to be all happy and jolly?

Julian but down on the inside of his cheek in annoyance. “I'm not a girl you weirdo. I'm a guy!”

“Really?” The clown asked studying him again. What was up with these towns people calling him a girl?

“Yes, you clown! Who do you think you are calling me a girl.”

The clown smiled widely like he had been waiting the whole time for him to ask that specific question. “Why, I'm Pennywise the Dancing—“

“Yeah yeah, whatever go dance somewhere else. I'm going home,” Julian cut the clown off as he was enthusiastically getting into he's introduction. The clown was starting to get on his last nerve.

Pennywise scowled in anger at being rudely cut off from It's introduction. The little girly looking teen didn't know how close he was to being torn to pieces for that little insult. No one had ever interrupted It before.

Julian walked around the clown and continued on his way. What a freak.

“I wasn't done talking to you,” growled a voice while a large gloved hand gripped his arm to stop him from leaving. He turned around to face the creepy clown and froze as he took in the clown again. Instead of blue eyes bright yellow eyes were glaring at him. He heard the clown giggled when he noticed Julian’s startled look. “I've never met someone like you before.”

Julian narrowed his eyes at the clown. “Funny, I could have sworn your eyes were blue…”

The clown looked startled at the random observation. The teen was supposed to be feeling fear. “Why aren't you afraid? You're supposed to be afraid.”

“Afraid? I'm not scared of a badly dressed clown.” He told the clown as it drew him in closer. Wait was it sniffing him? Julian jerked back when he felt a tongue lick his neck. Maybe the clown was an escaped mental patient. “Did you just lick me?!”

Pennywise sniffed the kid but the scent of wood and wet earth was all It could smell. It scowled and sniffed again catching undertones of death. How strange, It thought licking the human’s neck. Usually humans had a normal taste of life, something It detested, but the kid seemed to taste like death. “Strange…that's not normal.”

Did the clown seriously say he wasn't normal? Julian broke free of the clowns grip and backed away from the creep. “That's great coming from you. Clown dressed freak.”

Pennywise glared at the human. It took pride in the different disguises It conjured up, especially the clown one which tended to frighten little kids better when It went full out. It had no use for meat that wouldn't be salted properly. It was best to kill the human now and be done with it. Pennywise ‘s claws started to grow out of the gloves as It prepared to attack the girly human boy. “I have no for someone like you.”

Julian quickly scrambled back when he saw the creepy clown turn into an even more deranged monster. He knew he should have been scared shitless like any normal person would be in his situation, but his dark past made the situation almost hilarious. Here he was, Julian Sterling, who had survived facing a soul eating demon, faced death after a desperate attempt of freedom with suicide, being attacked by a creepy clown dude with bad taste in clothing. He wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh his pants off or if to cry in desperation because yet again another evil entity managed to corner him. What cosmic being was laughing at his bad luck and doing this to him? He just wanted to be normal for once and die getting hit by a truck because he didn't look both ways before crossing a busy street. Was that too much to asked?

He decided to play along with the clown’s otherwise scary attack. He gave a good scream and took off in the direction of the woods while trying to hide his laughter form the monster clown. Should he trip to make it more realistic? Maybe he should fall down a hill or pass out? God, why did he get himself into these situations?

Pennywise smiled as It chased the human through the woods. Maybe It would get a good meal off the girly looking thing. It corner the human the kid and stomped slowly towards him.

Julian did his best took look frightened but the clown was just making it really hard. It's over dramatic stalking made him seem like a bad actor trying to impress their first audience into believe he was a killer. He couldn't hold it in anymore. He started giggling as the clown closed in on him.

Pennywise paused as the teenager started to laugh. It backed away as the kid double over in laughter. The teen looked up at It through tears in his eyes and continued to laughed. “Don't laugh! It's supposed to be scary! You're supposed to be scared for your life! I'm about to kill you!” Pennywise said trying to reason with the laughing teen. It snarled as It gripped the teenager’s neck and lifted him in the air. The teen continued to giggle as he was lifted up and his air supply was cut off by the hand gripping him tightly.

Julian clutched the arm lifting him and continued to giggle. This was funny. He was going to die by the hand of a poor acting monster clown. Was the clown, Pennywise, the reason this town was so scared of their own shadows? This poorly dressed, horrible acting of a clown had the whole town on its knees cowering in fear? This had to be some sort of joke. The universe was playing a bad joke on him right now. Julian was sure that the soul eating demon who had pursued him for the last eight years was laughing his ass off somewhere in hell at his untimely death.

“Why aren't you afraid?!” Pennywise asked desperately shaking the teen. The teen looked It straight in the eye and grinned widely, a twisted imitation of It’s signature look.

“A persons who has died before by their own hand isn't afraid of dying by someone else's,” the human stated. “Do it, kill me. I dare you.”

Pennywise snarled and threw the human on the ground crouching down before him. “All you pathetic humans are afraid of something.”

Julian rubbed his neck and sat up as the clown loomed over him. “You must think you're the baddest thing that's ever lived scaring little kids. Big news, Mr. Pennywise, kids are the easiest to scared. I can do it myself telling a well spun scary story. Call yourself a creature of living nightmare when you scare an adult.”

Pennywise pushed the teenager down. It was seconds away from ripping the human’s throat out and leaving him to die. It had encountered many humans in It’s long life time. Adults, It had learned early on, were harder to scare, but they were not without fear. They were all afraid of something, but the work it took to make them reach that perfect level of fear It so desperately sought and savored was too high and caused It more trouble than it was worth. Little kids on the other hand…they were the easiest to scare, but they were so small that the satisfaction of eating just one or two was never enough and it left It craving for more. Hence why when Pennywise awaken from It's years of slumber It killed kids by the dozen. Easier to scare but less to feast on. This human knew nothing if It's art! What did the human know of the level of performance Pennywise put into every individual scaring?

“I have scared adults before. They are no different from little kids. They're both afraid of something,” Pennywise said digging Its claws into the teenagers stomach. “No, no, you are just different, harder to scare, but not impossible to scare. I just have to dig deep and scare you and you'll be just as tasty.” Pennywise giggled and dug deeper.

Julian winced as the clown dug it's claws into his stomach. He was right in his earlier observations. The clown was deranged.

“Keeep telling yourself thahhhh!” Julian screamed as he felt something grab his arm and tug him from the clown’s clutches. Julian winced as the clown's claws broke skin as he was dragged away. He felt an arm circle around his middle and a face shove into his neck.

“Juuuuliann,” the thing clutching him purred and muzzled its face against his neck. “It's beeeeen so long.”

Julian froze in fear as he realized the situation he had just gotten himself in. He turn his head to the side and caught red eyes staring at him. No. No. No!

“Youuu remember meeee don't you my little Jewel? How can you forget your masssterr,” the demon said tugging his hair back and exposing his neck. “You left me sooo alone, Julian.”

Pennywise stared in confusion and outraged. The other creature, a tall skinny solid black creature with a ram skull for a head held the human close to its body. But what really ticked Pennywise off was the fear that was radiating off the human. The human wasn't scare of him, an all powerful shapeshifting being from a different universe, but a weakling cow headed demon. It didn't know who to kill first; the cow head demon or the tinny human who was now crying in fear.

“Hey!” Pennywise cut in, It's voice deepening in anger. “It's rude to interrupt when two people are having a conversation with each other.”

The ram headed demon looked up at Pennywise. “You've been hanging out with thissss?” The demon said in distaste squeezing his human closer. “My pet, I'm disappointed.”

Julian flinched when a large clawed hand caressed his face. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. All those years trying to erase the touch of the monster grabbing him… down the drain in a moment of weakness. He shook his head when the arm around his middle snaked under his shirt. Not again. “Noo.”

“Shhhh, its okaaay pet. It wiiil be like old timesss,” the demon said licking it’s pets neck with its long tongue. “Justtt relax.”

Pennywise snarled at being ignored again. Forget those meddling kids, this cow head taking Its prey was getting on his nerves. No one stole what was Pennywise’s. It attacked the demon clawing at its arm around the humans middle. The demon hissed in pain and dropped the human. Pennywise quickly grabbed the human and growled at the demon. The human was his! No one was going to steal him.

“You're in unwelcome territory, demon. Leave before I make you disappear,” Pennywise hissed drawing in Its power.

The demon hissed back but slowly retreated glaring at Pennywise with its glowing red eye. “Don't think you have won clown. Julian was miiiine firssst.”

  
Pennywise watched the demon disappear into the darkness of the woods. It glanced down at the human clutching at him like scared little kid and not like the brave teenager he had been before the cow headed demon appear. The human was shaking like a leaf and quietly sobbing into Its clown costume. Pennywise sniffed the human finally catching his scent of fear. Drool slowly dripped down on the humans hair as the most appetizing scent filled his senses. It was so sweet, like cotton candy mixed with the saltiness of nut covered caramel apples. The human was like a gourmet meal waiting to be swallowed up.

Julian slowly came out of his shaking state and realized he was hugging the creepy clown. He tried to jerk away but was stopped by clown’s grip on him. Was that drool on his head? Gross. He peeked up at the clown’s face and notice him staring dazedly at him with a starved look on his face. Okay, that was definitely not a good sign.

“Let go of me you crazy clown,” he exclaimed kicking at the clown's legs in defiance. It seemed to snap the clown out of whatever trance he was in and dropped him on the ground. The clown scowled down at him.

Pennywise was disappointed when the delicious scent suddenly disappeared and was replaced by the humans normal scent of wet dirt and wood. It must find a way to return the sweet delicious smell back to the human, but first some much needed answers as to why a demon had latched itself to the human. It had encountered demons before, low ranking demons, those who barely tipped the scale, trying to crawl their way into Its territory. They were an annoying pest upon his entire existence. He always tended to awake with at least a few making nests around his territory. They were disposed of quickly, but this demon was of higher rank. It had been the creature earlier that had been sniffing around Pennywise’s boundaries irritating It as It tried to eat. And this human had managed to attract the demon’s attention.

“You human have a lot of explaining to do.”

Julian stood and was shaking hands dusted himself off. He ignored the clown and begging trending back into town before the demon decided to come back for him.

Pennywise followed behind him keeping a close eye. Pennywise studied the human. Nothing too special about the human. Maybe the eyes were off. They were an unusual color. Blue and amber, almost like a reflection of Its own eyes.

Julian ignored the clown following him as he reached 29 Neibolt Street. He glanced back at his clown companion and caught him staring blankly at him, both of the clown's yellow eyes gazing in different directions. The distracted gaze was hilarious to Julian and he chuckled making the clown return back to the present. He focused his eyes on him and tilted his head.

“Listen… uh,” Julian began shifting his feet. “You're probably the only reason I'm not stuck with that.. monster right now. So thank you.”

Pennywise blink owlishly at the human. Did the human just thank It?

“This whole mess is probably inconvenient for you…”

Pennywise closed in on the human. “I didn't save you, silly human, out of the goodness of my nonexistent heart. I did it because the cow head was somewhere he wasn't supposed to be. Next time don't expect the same from me.”

“Wow, okay, never mind I retract my thanks.”

Pennywise gave the human a grunt before switching back out of Its serious demeanor and into Its clown persona It was so fond of. “Now for the real question, what to do with you?”


	5. Losing Focus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always confusing how to use : and ;  
> Maybe I used it right. Maybe I didn't *shrug*

Julian, hair cut shorter and curling from his shower, laid sprawled on his new bed (very uncomfortable bed) staring at the ceiling with a vacant look in his eyes. His mind wondering back to the encounter with the creepy clown monster- don't call me that Pennywise- and his horrible meeting with the demon. The clown, Pennywise as he liked to be called, let him go after dumping him back into the city limits. It had been a very welcomed surprised, but the promise of been killed if he ever crossed the clown’s path again was more than enough to make him stay as far away from the run down house.

That wasn't what was bothering him at the moment though. Abanus. He shivered in disgust just thinking about the unholy creature touching him. The demon had graced his mind for years after waking up screaming from nightmare–memories. The memories would keep him up at night, cowering in fear, afraid of even his own shadow. For years he had lived in fear of the demon finding him and finishing what it had started. There would be no mercy then. No one to save him from his fate if that ever did happen. He was alive and human thanks to the priest. The priest who had saved him in the nick of time. Alive and human—well, almost human—today because of him.

That fact, however, did little to stop the strange urges he would soon discover he had inside him. In the years to come he didn't know what was worse; the fact that he had gruesome nightmares or the fact that he would wake up at times with amber burning eyes filled with a need to be touched. It was as if his body was craving something. Something he shouldn't want. That hunger he would hide very well, even from himself at times. But that didn't make it go away. No, it was always there at the back of his mind waiting for him to let his guard down for it to escape. It repulsed and thrilled him at the same time. It made him sick just thinking about the pleasures he sought after. No one could know.

To save himself from the hunger he would always recall what the demon had down to him. What he had lived through. It was a horror just thinking about what had transpired between his months in captivity with the horrid demon beast. He was glad, for the most part, to remember only bits and pieces of what happened. But what most he remembered only made him want to claw his own eyes out to be able to forget.

He was told by the priest who saved him that he had been in captivity for at least three months. Three whole months of his own personal hell. The first month, he was told by the demon himself, was spent half dead. Just a comatose body with no reaction, no way to help himself against the demonic entity. He was glad to be in that state. At least in that state he could protect his mind against what the demon was doing to him.

The second month had made him wish for nothing more than death. He was forced to rid—cleansed— himself of his innocence. The demon saw his innocent childish body as a nuisance that need to be immediately taken care of. He was made to commit acts that no child should be put through. The demon would hand him and knife and direct him to stab a man repeatedly until his clothes were stained red. Until his body was covered in blood. And those were just some of the more agreeable actions he was forced to do. At least when he was killing someone the demon was distracted. The demon would leave him alone after each act. It was hell for him either way. His childish mind would crumble after every act. Only to be put together again by the same demon who forced him to do them. He would be comforted by the demon. Held while he cried into the demon’s chest like the small child he was. He should have know what the demon was doing to him, but he was a mere child back then. All he wanted was some form of comfort. And if he thought that month had been hell the month that followed would soon make him realize there worse, much worse.

There were no words to described his pain, his suffering during the third month. That month marked the changing of his human body. His outer innocence was tainted and now his body was ready to ascend. That month the demon took everything from him. He would wake half naked on the ground of his room with blood trailing down his legs after every visit. There was no comfort then. No, every visit would teach him that the only comfort he had was himself. His ten year old mind was unable to comprehend what was happening to him. All he knew then was that the demon would touch him for hours until he would be left a sobbing mess. The demon would speak to him when he was crying beneath him, speaking about rituals and changings. The ritual had begun and there was only one end to it. When the day came all he could remember was feeling fear, pain, and helplessness. Then after the blood was forced down his throats he felt nothing. His mind and bird were lost to a void. The world would have ended then and he would have been clueless to it. The feeling was like floating in an endless sea of nothingness.

When he awoke again he was in a church being prayed over by the priest while bathing in holy water. He went home after that. His body had been saved but his mind was scarred forever. He made what he felt then was the only way out: He tried to end his suffering. Because what his parents didn't know, could never know, was that his thoughts were plagued with a need to be beside the very same monster that made him crave darkness. A darkness deep inside him screaming to be besides his master. That feeling never went away. Not even after his failed death. It became stronger. The call became stronger.

The convent was his only safe haven. It silenced the whispers inside him. For a short while u tip they came back. The priest, Alexander, returned after he turned thirteen, when the need was the strongest. He explained to him that he was stuck in a limbo of sorts. His body would remain frozen in a state between human and demonic changeling. Just one more sip of the demon blood would change his body and make him a slave. The effects were irreversible. He would remain that way until his death (which would take many, many years).

After his revelation, Julian would go on to grow up with the knowledge that he was already damn. Moments where he was at his most vulnerable sate, he would wake from his nightmares and be greeted by the sight of piercing amber eyes. Eyes filled with hunger to kill, to please his master. His body would be in a battle between itself. He craved to be touched by the demon. Craved to be taken, to serve his master, to kill for his master. Those days, he would sit in his room, blocking the world from his mind, praying for freedom from his own twisted mind.

Julian sat up and balled his fist in frustration. Just seeing the demon again made him want to be unraveled. He shaking his head he made his way over the bathroom attached to his room. He flip the light switch on and stared at the starved amber eyes looking back at him from the mirror. He should already be used to the sight of those eerie eyes. He closed his eyes, holding back screams. This wasn't him. This thing looking back at him wasn't him. It wasn't Julian. It was what that monster made him into. This is what the demon wanted him to be. A mindless slave desperate for his master. Opening his eyes he grabbed the scissors he used earlier to cut his hair and sliced open his arm.

He gasped and stared with wide curious eyes at his own blood dripping down the white porcelain sink. He did it again and again until his arm was a bleeding mess dripping blood continuously down into the white sink. Julian felt like laughing and crying at the same time. It didn't hurt like it should. It should hurt, but all he felt was numb, like he had for the past eight years. He felt nothing. He could bleed to death and feel nothing.

****

 

“What happened to your arm, kid?” Asked Dave staring at his wrapped left arm.

“Nothing,” Julian said quickly tugging his new hoodie and pushing the sleeves down to cover his bandaged arm. After going to town on his arm he wrapped it up with some bandages he had found under the sink. It made him feel a little better, more under control.

“At least that ridiculous girly hair you were sporting is now gone. You almost look like a man,” joked Dave going back to his notes. Julian had the urge to shove his pancakes in Dave’s face to show him how manly he really was.

Beth sat down besides him and smiled warmly at him. “You came home very late, you even cut your hair, and got new clothes I see. Did you make some new friends?”

Julian looked off to the side. What was he supposed to say. Yeah, I made some new friends. After rescuing a kid from a gang of douche bags I met his aloof friends and they told me in so little words to get lost. Oh, in fact, I also met a badly dressed demon clown with horrible acting skills. But good news he saved me from my own demonic stalker. He winced. “Just met a few of the locals, greet some nice pedestrians, you know the usual.”

Dave glanced up at him. “There's nothing usual about this town.”

“You don't say?”

Dave shrugged casually, going back to studying the notes from last night. They had been trying to discovered what exactly was prowling around the town of Derry, Maine. Whatever It was only targeted children, which was good for them, but knowing Julian the creature was more than likely going to be attracted to the strange teenager. Dave glanced up at Julian, the kid was a beacon to all demonic creatures. Dave had met very few people that had survived being held captive by a demonic entity, let alone be turned into some sort of pet. Julian was either very lucky or unlucky to be alive at the moment. He was still unsure of which.

“You're looking a little pale, Julian. Are you sure you're alright?” Beth touched Julian's cheek. She gasped and flinched when her hand met ice cold skin. “Julian, you're freezing!”

“I'm okay, I've always been like this. Even during summer. It barely bothers me now,” Julian said casually ignoring the looks Beth and Dave gave him. It was true, after the whole ordeal he had noticed that his body no longer worked like it used to. While others froze to death or melted he would remain in a constant state of nothingness. It had made his parents wary of him. They would bundle him up, only to find him later in his thin clothes again standing quietly outside their home.

“Even during summer?”

“I’m always cold.” Julian shifted as he felt the stares. He didn't like being reminded that he was not normal. Sure, the nuns had made him feel more than welcomed back at the convent, but they had never touched him. In fact they avoided touching him. He couldn't blame them, really. No one wanted to touch something as disgustingly him.

“Well, I'm sure the sun will warm you up today. It's quite a lovely day here.” Julian felt Beth watching him closely. It was just like his parents. Once they learned that his body was always cold they would be careful when touching him. It had been a reminder to all of them of what had happened. He guessed he would always be reminded of what happened. Every little thing reminded him of the demon.

“I'm going to continue exploring the town.”

“Remember the rules!” Dave called after his retreating body.

“Whatever old man.”

Julian made his way through the streets of Derry. There was still a good part of the town he had yet to explore. Derry was the first town he had ever been to after been let out of the convent. To say he was liking it would be a very stretch truth. It wasn't the convent, but it was also not the place he would like to be stuck in. Knowing that the creepy clown was making a living here killing children had put him off about the town. If he didn't like the town before he definitely didn't like it now. One evil being was enough for him to last a lifetime. He didn't need another one. He felt bad about not doing anything about the killings, but he also didn't want to end up like before. Sure, it might seem cruel for him to let children die without help, but he was sure that if he tried to stop the evil crazy clown he would end up way worse than before. Even if he wanted to help the town he would need a plan. No way was he going to rush into that rundown house head first without any real information on the clown. He need to learn more about Pennywise before going after him. He wasn't stupid enough to think he could beat it now.

As he explored the town he made sure to avoid the way to the old abandon house where the creepy clown was. The less time spent with that maniac the better. He didn't want a repeat of their meeting. After being drooled on like a chew toy, and poked at by clown he had made sure to let the clown know he was not going to have any of its scare tactics. He want like the rest of the cowering towns people of Derry. He had lived through very traumatic situations and a little dancing clown was a little blip in his radar. It was almost laughable how the clown had deflated at his statement. Pennywise seemed to really be into preforming at his best underneath all the rave about killing and eating humans. It was almost cute how the clown had pouted in anger at his unimpressed stare. To think a killer clown could express those things amaze him.

  
Julian blinked as he bumped into a pole. He rubbed his forehead and glanced around him in embarrassment. Once again, Julian found himself lost. He had been to busy thinking about killer clowns being emotional to pay attention to where his feet where taking him. He was lucky there had been no one around to watch him run into the pole.   
This town already thought he was weird and gay from the looks he got yesterday when he walked into some stores to buy his much needed food, clothing and a pair of scissors to cut his hair with. He wanted to fit in as much as he could, but those looks thrown his way had made it clear he was already labeled.

He sighed just thinking about what the town people would be whispering about him now. He perked up when he hears laughter and children screaming in glee from a few blocks ahead. He followed it hoping it wasn't leading him to another crazy clown encounter. Luck for him it lead to a small festival at the heart of the town. Adults and children were running around laughing and just having a good time. Something he desperately need. He strolled around buying some candy with his leftover money. He ate while walking around look at the children running around each other enjoying life in bliss. If only he could be like that.

“Julian!”

Julian jumped startled. His gazed followed the voice and he found himself looking at Eddie and his group of friends sitting around looking freaked out. He glanced one final time at the happy children before waving at Eddie. “Oh, hey, Eddie.”

“Julian,” Eddie said again inviting him over to the gathered group. “You look lost.”

“Because I am,” he responded back standing beside the smaller teen. He glanced at the others and found them staring at him again with the same aloof look. He guessed they were still uneasy about him being around them. He would have thought saving Eddie from the mullet wearing jerk would have made them feel more welcoming to him, but apparently not. He tired not to let it get to him. He was used to it by now. That, however didn't mean it didn't hurt any less . “You guys looked freaked out. Is something the matter?”

They all shared a look between themselves. Something was bothering the group and he could bet his money that it was a tall, Victorian Ear jester outfit wearing, bad acting clown. Unless he was wrong, and puberty was just making them more angsty than normal.

“You wouldn't believe he even if we told you,” Ben said nervously. Yep, definitely that clown. He could only guess what he had been doing to the younger teens.

Julian nodded. He was determined to be friendly with the group. He could see what made them weary of him knowing about the clown. It was hard to believe anyone who sprouted what seem like nonsense about a killer clown. “I grew up in a convent. I believe all sorts of things.”

Bill narrowed his eyes at the older teen. Most adults didn't see the things the kids saw. The proof was in Bev’s father not seeing the blood staining the bathroom walls and floor. Although Julian was not an adult he was still a stranger to them all. He didn't quite trust the older teen. There was something off about him. Bill didn't want to be rude to the older teen, but the feeling that Julian wasn't someone he should trust was strong. It made him feel like a huge jerk yesterday when he forced the teen to leave. Eddie had made sure to make him even worse when he turned to criticize the whole group as well.

Richie scuffed at the statement. “Hanging around old women? Gross dude. At least with the long hair you fit in perfectly before.”

“I'm sure they'll accept you Rich, you're girly enough as well,” Julian retorted back raising an eyebrow. The kid was witty, he'll give him that. “Stop avoiding the question. What's wrong guys? Eddie?”

Eddie shifted uncomfortably when the older teens unusual eyes turn to stare him down. He held back the blush that threaten to appear due to the other’s intense stare. He didn't want to lose the older teens friendship in case he didn't believe them that an evil clown was stalking them all. But he also didn't want the teen to disappear in case he wasn't aware of the evil being.

“We believe there's an evil clown stalking the children of Derry and taking people,” Eddie finally said staring hopefully at the older teen. He didn't want Julian to think he and his friends were crazy.

Julian looked startled. He stared at the group with wide eyes. Eddie just knew he was gong to call them crazy and tell them to stay far away from him. None of the other adults or older kids believed that something was wrong with the town. Julian was just going to prove to them that they were all right. He prepared to be told off by the older teen.

“Huh, so you guys have seen that deranged clown too I'm assuming?” Julian said glancing around nervously as if the clown was going to appear out of nowhere and get them.

“You've seen It too?!” Eddie said gaining hope.

Julian nodded and leaned in closer. “Yeah, pretty scary if you ask me.”

Bill stared at he older teen with surprise. “I-I-f you seen It too, d-d-does that mean It’s after you as well?”

Julian shrugged. “Who knows. Crazy people work in crazy ways. I just got here not too long ago. It's not like I know the clown personally.”

"Well whatever this thing is it takes the shape of what we fear the most. I don’t know how it knows this, but somehow it does.” Mike explain to Julian. Julian guessed as much. The clown had spent a while changing into things trying to scare Julian, but a few words of displeasure had settle the clown down before he continue to escort the lost teen back into town. He tuned in again to the other’s discussion about the clown. Bill seemed to be the one more determined to find out more about the clown than the others. The others seemed more afraid to do anything about the clown.

“We need to learn m-m-more about the c-c-clown. Follow me,” Bill said leading them to his house. Julian followed known that this was another opportunity to learn more about the clown. The clown had been very reserved to speak about himself yesterday. Pennywise had seem more into scaring him than talking and exchanging stories.

Julian stayed behind the ground with Eddie. Since he was the only one without a bike Eddie had made sure to lead him to Bill’s house. “Please don't tell me you guys are going to go after that creep.”

Eddie shook his head vigorously. He stared at him with wide scared eyes. “No, no, no way!”

“Then why are you guys trying to find more information about the clown?” Julian asked eyeing him carefully. There had to be more to the whole situation than he knew. No one, especially a group of fourteen year olds, went after a killer clown who could change into what you feared the most.

Eddie stayed silent and looked towards Bill who was leading the group into his garage. “Bill lost his brother a couple months back. He's trying to find out what happened to him.”

Julian stared at Bill as he instructed them to block out all the windows and closed the garage door. So that was what made him the loyal sheep dog to the group. He grimly stared after Bill. He had lost many things as a child, but Bill had lost a brother. That pain had made him determined to discover what had happened to him. Julian was afraid that uncovering that truth was going to cause more harm than good. He was sure that Bill’s brother was long gone now. Bill was just chasing ghosts now.

  
He watched Bull turned a projector on and soon they were all gathered around a map of Derry. Julian signed and sat down besides Eddie earning a glare from Richie. He stifled a laugh at the look. Julian knew that Eddie and Richie had something going on. They didn't know it themselves, which made it more amusing to Julian. It was going to be a delight when they both confronted their feelings for each other down the road.

His mind wondered back to Bill and his old map of Derry. He tuned out Bill’s explanation of what he already knew of the creepy clown. He knew he had to stop the kids from looking into the house and discovering the clown, but that would lead to more questions about himself that he wasn't ready to answer just yet. The group was waking into a very dangerous situation.

“Turn it of!” He heard Beverly scream before Mike kicked the projector to the ground. He jumped up startled as Eddie grabbed his arm and tugged him closer before chaos exploded. In the little time that he had let his mind wonder the clown had made his presence know to the group of teens. Julian watched in horror as the clown crawled out of the projector going after the kids. He want afraid of the clown, but of what he could do to the others. Julian watched as he made his way towards Beverly. He quickly jumped in front of the clown catching him off guard before the garage door was ripped open.

“What the hell was that?!” Richie yelled as everyone hurried outside the garage.

"W-w-we need to go to the Neibolt house,” Bill said grabbing his bike and quickly climbing on. He could tell that Bill had grown more determined to uncover the truth now. He winced knowing what was going to happen next. He had already intervene when the clown had been after Beverly. Any more meddling and he would soon find himself facing an angry clown.

“Just wait a moment Bill! Didn't you see what just happened in there?” Eddie tried to reason with Bill, but Bill was already set on gong after the clown.

“I-i-if you're all to a-a-afraid I'll go in by myself,” Bill said riding away. His friends shared a look before going after him trying to stop him. Julian sighed and contemplated following them or staying behind as he watched them disappear down the street. It wasn't going to end well for any of them. He could help, but he knew that the clown would be after him. But he couldn't stay here and do nothing while his somewhat new friends faced the dangers of what was inside the rundown house.

“Aintcha gonna go after them, Jules?!” asked a deep cheerful voice beside him.

“Shit, what the fuck you creepy clown!” Julian yelled jerking away from the clown that appeared out of thin air beside him. Pennywise giggled at the startled insult.

Pennywise smiled widely at the teen. “You're getting in the way, Jules. If you don't stay away…” He smiled secretly at Julian waving his hand in a gestured that made him aware of what would happen to him.

"Stay away? I'm not the pedo gong after kids,” he said crossing his arms. He didn't like the clown threatening him and his friends. If it came down to it he was more than ready to protect the others from the crazy killer clown.

Pennywise giggled in glee. “Soon there won't be any of those kids left!”

Julian stared in horror at what the clown had said. He didn't need to be told more before he was chasing after the others. Knowing the creepy clown he would try to scare the kids before killing them. It was strange how fast Julian had grasped an understanding to the clown. Maybe it was a sick part of him that understood how the clown worked, or maybe it was how the demon had molded him. He had been groomed to be the perfect pet for the demon. Maybe this was what the outcome would have been like. Either way, he needed to get to the others before the clown killed them. He knew the clown had a sick fascination with fear and that was what would earn him a little time as he raced down the unknown streets of Derry determined to find them before the clown killed them off. He still had a little bit of time left before any of them were seriously hurt. By some miracle he reached the house. Outside he house he spotted Mike, Ben, Beverly, and Stan standing keeping guard. They all looked scared but determined.

  
“Where are they?” He asked in a hurry marching up to the house and opening the door. He gave Beverly a quick look waiting for her to tell him what part of the house the other three had made their way into.

“They're inside—wait, Julian.”

Panic screams filled the house as soon as he made his way inside. He quickly ran towards the sound of the other three screaming their heads off in the kitchen. Beverly followed after him carrying a spike. Once they reached the room Beverly quickly stabbed the clown in the head as it attacked Bill. Pennywise took one look at Julian, glaring at him, before trying to scare the others surrounding an injured Eddie. Julian stood between them glaring at the clown as the others fought it off. Ben soon earned himself another injury as well. Julian was going to beat the younger teens himself after getting them out of here. He was all for attacking the enemy, but being so unprepared was not something he encouraged. They had been foolish to get themselves in this situation.

“Julian! Watch out!” Beverly screamed watching the injured clown grab Julian in a moment of distraction from witnessing Ben get hurt and dragging him off. Julian struggled as the clown retreated with his hostage.

Bill quickly followed against the others protest watching the clown take Julian down a well.

  
***

“You stupid clown! Let me go!”

Pennywise threw the teen to the ground and glared at him. “You! I told you to stay away!”

Julian stood up glaring back at the clown. He tried not to think of the wetness clinging to his clothing. They appeared to be in a sewer system. Large tunnels and decaying things surrounded him. He hoped whatever he landed on was clean water and not something else. “Me? They seem to be doing a pretty swell job at attack your sorry excuse of acting!”

Pennywise growled in anger taking a step towards the glaring teen. Julian couldn't help but let a giggle out. The clown still had the spike in his head and he honestly couldn't take him serious. “Do you need help taking that out?”

Julian watched Pennywise remove the spike and tossing off to the side. Once again he had managed to make the clown stare at him in surprise and a little anger.

“When I let you go I told you to stay away from my business!” It hissed.

“They're my friends!”

“They're a nuisance!” It hissed again dragging Julian by the arm deeper into the sewer system. The human protested trying to tug his arm out of Its tight grip. It stop and sniffed the air catching the scent of blood. It turned around to stare at the teen. “You smell like blood.”

Julian gasp when the clown shoved his sleeve up revealing his bandaged arm. Blood had soaked through the once white bandage. The cuts from last night must have opened in his struggle to get away from the clown. He winced when the clown brought his arm up to his nose and sniffed his arm. He watched as the clown started drooling on his bandages. That was highly unsanitary.

“Don't, that's gross! I said don't!” Julian pushing at the clown as he got rid of the bandages and quickly started licking up his blood. He shuddered as the warm tongue cleaned up the blood dripping down his arm. Julian knew he should have feat disgusted at what the clown was doing to him, but for once the voice of reason in his mind was silent. He felt the hunger from last night return. He watched in wonder as the clown lapped enthusiastically at his bleeding arm. His body hummed in unexpected pleasure at the actions of the clown. His head tilted back and he gasped in pleasure as his struggle stop. He felt himself smile as one of his deepest desires was sated by the clown. It was like the clown knew what he had been seeking all along. When the clown stopped Julian whined. His mind was completely gone now.

“No, master continue!” he whined clutching the clown as he tried to pull away from the teen. “Master.”

Pennywise tried to pry the teen away from It but the teen was latched on. It growled when the sweet smell of fear filled Its senses. The teen stared at him trying to shove his arm into the clown mouth. The teen soon gave up and wrapped his arms around Its body.

"Master, I can be good master!” The teen said digging his finger into his master. He had abandon his master before. He had let his master down. His master was angry with him. He didn't want master to be angry with him. Master was meant to be happy. “Master, I can be good again.”

Pennywise broke free of the teens grip and pushed him down on the ground. Twin amber eyes stared at It in hunger as the teen smiled sweetly up at It. The teen laid submissively down on the ground squirming in pleasure releasing pheromones trying to entice his master to take him. He and his master had waited for so long. He need to be assured that his master still wanted him. That his master would finished what he started and made him his.

"Master, take me! Take me!” He cried in need. “Take me. Take me. Master. Take me. Please take me. Take me. I need it master. Take. Me.”

It stared down in confusion at the pleading teen whose eyes had brighten to match his yellow ones. The teen cried and wiggled under It begging for something. It wasn't sure what exactly the teen was begging for. Most of Its victims begged for help, or their lives, for mercy, but none had ever begged to be ‘taken’ like the teen was begging him to do. The teen was strange. Begging to be taken by the celestial entity. It grew frustrated at the teen for not knowing what exactly the teen was asking for.

"Masterrrr," the teen whined realizing his master was not moving at all. His master was angry with him. He cried again and curled up into himself wishing to disappear. A displease master meant he had been bad. He didn't want to be bad. He wanted to be good.

“Master.” He slowly felt his mind slip away.

It stared at the now silent teen crying softly beneath him curling in on himself. The teen whined again closing his eyes. The teen blinked slowly staring at the wall above Pennywise.

Pennywise stood once the crying stopped completely. The teen now laid still staring at the walls with a blank stare. The same matching yellow eyes slowly faded to the blue amber of before. It stared in wonder at the creature before It. It didn't know much about how other creatures worked, but It knew that whatever the demonic cow head had done to the teen had made him the way he had been acting a few minutes ago. It was intrigued. Most victims screamed in terror, but this little human had begged for It. It needed to learn more. Why was he teen so desperate ? Why did he call It master? Would he have called the cow headed demon master?

It hissed in displeasure at the thought. No, the little human should only call It his master. It was better than the other demonic being. The little human should only be allowed to call It his only master. The cow headed demon was nothing compared to the celestial being that had lived for thousands of years. It would need to know more, however, about what had made the teen snap into that state. Whatever the teen had down with his smell had made It forget about Its own hunger for food. The human was his own tasty smelling food. The smell had enticed new feelings inside It. Feelings It thought had been buried long time ago when It had been betrayed and forced into the pathetic rock of a planet. The little human was going to be an even bigger problem now.

  
****

“Julian.”

A loud ringing filled Julian's ears as he slowly drifted from his unconscious state. Sounds of people rushing around him were dulled by the feeling of numbness. He was in a state of blissful nothingness. Slowly drifting back inside himself.

“He's—waking—wrong—water.”

“Julian.”

He was jerked out of his peaceful state by water surrounding his whole body. He gasped making the water surrounding him filled his lungs until they burned. He wasn't panicking for too long before whoever was holding him down immediately brought him back to the surface. Dave’s panic face greeted him as he gulp for air. He found himself surrounded by water inside the bathroom tub. His lugs aching to be let out the water that had gotten inside from his panic stage. Dave didn't give him much rest before he was unceremoniously dunk again into the water. He struggled against the hands holding him down, clawing at Dave’s arms to be let free. The next time he came up for air he managed to pay more attention to what Dave was doing to him. He was chanting in Latin holding a cross to Julian’s forehead while Beth stood behind him, also holding a cross towards him, praying in Latin holding open a bible. He managed to clear his lugs quickly before he was thrust under water again.

"Stop it with the dunking already!” Julian exclaimed in anger as he was almost dunk into what he now assumed was blessed water. During his time at the convent he had seen many men and women brought in by the nuns to the baths filled with holy water. He had stay cleared of them whenever one was brought in. Those men and women were possessed by demons. They were just another reminder of his past.

“Julian, thank God! We thought you had been changed!” Beth said setting the Bible down and helping him up from the tub. “You were dazed the entire time we brought you here.”

“Dazed?” He asked shivering from the cold. He froze. Cold. He felt cold. In the last eight years he had never felt cold.

“We found you after two of your friends came by screaming for help. He was wearing glasses and came along with a tiny boy with a broken arm,” Beth explained wrapping him up in a white fluffy towel. “Gave us quite the scare too screaming about you being taken down a well. Luckily when we went for you we found you outside that horrible house, but you were unconscious and wouldn't wake.”

Dave then moved to stand behind Beth giving him a hard glare. “I thought we told you to stay out of trouble.”

“What was I supposed to do? Let the kids go in by themselves? Let them die?” He asked roughly drying out his hair. He knew going into that house what would most likely happen to him. He thought he would be strong enough to fight back against the clown, but he guess he was weaker than he realized.

“You let those kids do whatever the hell they want to, Julian. I was paid to save you, not to save a group of meddling children poking their noses into matters they shouldn't,” Dave stated. “I'm not sure you know this, Julian, but you were very close to not being human.”

“I was not about to let that thing kill my friends! They're barely teenagers, Dave. And while we're at it why didn't you tell me there was another monster in this place? Did you not think I had a right to know where you were dragging me off to?”

“Your parents paid me and Beth to get rid of your little problem, Julian. The Church employs us. We go hunt those bigger monsters that cause bigger problems. Your little problem meant nothing to the Church. You could have rot in that convent for all the Church cared. You meant nothing to them, but your parents are old friends of ours. That is why we're trying to save you, but we can't help you if you're going to run straight into danger all the time!”

“You should have just let me rot in that place!” He said storming away from the older couple.

Beth glared at Dave. “You didn't need to put it so harshly, Dave.”

Dave gather his tools into the brief case again. “He needed to know, Beth. He's not ten years old anymore. He's an adult. He needs to know what sort of danger he's putting himself into.”

“They're just children, Dave. We save children.” Beth reasoned with her long time partner. They had been doing this for as long as she could remember. Dave hadn't always been her partner, just like she hadn't always been his. They both started out wanting to protect others who couldn't protect themselves against the monsters that hid in the dark. But sooner or later that darkness takes a toll on the soul. It had for both of them, but they were too far invested to change the path they were going down on now.

“We can't save everyone Beth. If Julian gets changed into one of those things…this town, those children, will be massacred. We both know very well what happens if he turns. He may act human now, but you saw what state he was in when we got to him. I fear that we don't have much time. He doesn't have much time.”

****

  
 


	6. To Sever My Master

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad News: This was supposed to go out Friday/Saturday but my poor furry baby got sick and had to be rushed to the vet :( 
> 
> Good News: I decided to make Wednesday my update date  
> I finally watched the film a while back and I thought that it would be scary (???) I spent the entire time laughing. 
> 
> Also spent the entire time laughing while I wrote this. Smut writing is funny. And I suck at it. Well not really smut more like teasing but still....  
> I tired to catch all the grammar mistakes but some might have escaped. Apologies in advance.

 

_**Somewhere outside of Derry, Maine** _

In the darkness of the woods surrounding Derry, Maine, Abanus stirred from his slumber. After having to retreat from his precious prey, Abanus had lingered outside the city limits of Derry waiting for an opportunity to get his pet from the annoying clown. He knew that sooner or later the clown was going to let his guard down. When that time came Abanus was more than ready to take what was rightfully his. Even now he could feel the call of his pet. It never ceased to amuse him watching the small human fight the pull.

The little human, Julian, had been attached to him since the very beginning. There was no way out of what he had done to his pet. The pull was a calling to the human for him to search and be beside his rightful master. Even when he had locked himself away in a place where Abanus couldn't reach the call was still there. The Allure was what many demons called it. It was a strong bond between master and servant that ensure the servant wouldn't betray the master. Of course many demons tired of their pets in a few years before ridding themselves of the nuisance and find another soul to devour. The bond was there to put any stray thoughts out of the servants mind and to along be devoted to the one who made them.

Julian was aware that something was calling him towards the demon, but because he was not fully turn he had a way of defying the call. It annoyed Abanus to know the little human could defy him still. Until he had him and changed him fully he had to live with the little human’s defiance. Once he had the human were he wanted him he would make sure to remind him that defying his master the last eight years had been a mistake. The punishment would be severe. All Abanus had to do was wait patiently. Both the clown and he human would do exactly what he expected them to do. It was only a matter of time.

  
***

  
Once again Julian found himself laying on his bed staring vacantly up at the ceiling of his room. This time, however, his mind was working hard to recall what had happen to him after being dragged down the well. He remembered talking back to the clown, then after that his mind went blank. Whatever had transpired between the clown and himself had cause a major relapse. His skin felt itchy and sensitive, but what had seriously freaked him out was the fact that where the cuts from his early rampage had been were healed to thin red lines. The clown had done something to him to heal them.

He also noticed that his body felt unnaturally hot. Before he had felt cold and numb, but now he felt all the nerves in his body tingling with hidden desire for something. Something had definitely shifted inside him and it was honestly freaking him out more than the nightmares he had experienced the last eight years. He needed to find the clown and demand to know exactly what he had done to him. The thought of being near the clown again made him shiver in anticipation. A dark corner of his mind was more than please with the idea of being near the killer clown.

He rolled over on his bed onto his stomach and muffled the moan that threatened to escape. What was wrong with him? In last eight years he had never felt this way about anyone else other than the demon that had made him nothing more than a pet. The demon had consumed every thought, every dream and even every pleasant memory he had ever had in the past. It had been like a constant reminder with no escape, but now the demon was the last thing on his mind. Instead thoughts of a certain bad dressed clown with horrible acting skills were circling his mind. All he could see were piercing yellow eyes, red stains lips, ridiculous ginger hair and long gloved cover fingers. A few days back he would have thoughts those things creepy, gross, and disgustingly ridiculous, but now he found them extremely alluring. He wondered how soft that auburn red hair was or how those gloved hands would feel running down his back bending him down to the clowns will as he took him from behind.

He shuddered again at his devilish thoughts. Would he be rough? Of course he would. He was a killer clown and he would be a rough lover. Julian didn't expect a soft caring lover from the clown. The clown would take him roughly again and again until he was a shaking mess begging to be devoured yet again. There would be now soft murmurs of love whispered between them. Only gasps and screams of pleasure until they were both consumed.

Without his consent, a hand sneak down to grasp his hardening length. He couldn't hold back the moan that escape him then. He rolled on to his back again, quickly discarding his pants as he lost his mind to the growing need inside him. Once he was naked from the waist down he took himself in his hand again. He muffled his moans by shoving his own fingers into his mouth. He teased himself, fleeting touches here and there, before setting a slow pace letting his mind wonder back to the clown. No, his name was Pennywise and he was perfect. He would be a great master to him. He would disciplined him with a firm hand like he needed for so long. He would be able to lose himself along side him. No more hiding behind wide innocent eyes.

Julian could no longer hold back the moans that were escaping him, only to be thankfully muffled by his fingers as he sucked them absentmindedly. He rarely indulge himself in his own needs, always fighting back when the urges got to strong, but right now he felt like surrendering. This was all new to him, yet it wasn't. He had his moments of weakness before, but this somehow felt brand new. And it wasn't enough. He whined speeding up his hand down his hard length, trying to find release, but it wasn't working like the other times. He needed more. He rolled over to his side and with his free hand reached behind him. His wet fingers lightly touched a place he had been scared of touching before. He shivered again, writhing in pleasure as he circled his own pucker sending warm sparks of pleasure to the growing pressure in him stomach, before slowly sinking a finger inside.

Julian cried out at the unexpected pain mixed with pleasure. He tensed before relaxing and letting his finger in deeper never stopping his other hand that was now stroking his hard cock faster. It felt so good having something inside again. It was almost like his body remembered what it was like. He didn't take long before he was forcing another finger in. Whining, he wiggled his fingers trying to find that secret place inside that had always made him melt. If master was here he would find it quickly, giver him a small taste before teasing him making with the promise of realize. He would beg before rubbing the bundle of nerves until he came on his master’s hand.

With a frustrated and impatient growl, he rolled on to his knees pressing his head down on his pillow to try and muffle some of his moans. His fingers continued their desperate search, almost painfully stretching himself with his need, but still not finding what he desired. He was practically gagging on his need for release. He was so wet already, dripping down on the hand running up and down rapidly on his hard shaft. He just needed that little extra push. He let out a long sharp cry when his fingers, knuckles deep inside and curved slightly, found the special bundle of nerves. He couldn't help but let his back arch pushing back into his own fingers as he continue to rub that spot inside himself. Yes, yes yes, that's just what he needed. His shaky legs could barely hold himself up as the world blurred around him, all noise gone only a constant ringing echoed through his ears now as his pleasure mounted. His mind was a single focused on the fingers inside him thrusting into the bundle of nerves, the pleasure becoming all he knew as it escalated, moans became louder despite the pillow muffling them, tears of joy streaming down his face wetting the pillow.

“Pennywise!” He cried out as he came. The world whitening out, body clamping down on his own fingers, as the most intense climax of his life sang through him leaving him a shivering mess. His body collapsed, still shaking with the after shocks, on the wet mess he made bellow him. Julian's fingers slowly retreated from inside him, walls quivering as they tried to keep his fingers inside. He whimpered when he shifted weakly feeling once again empty. Sweat dripped down his face as he slowly rolled over away from the wetness.

When his breath slowed to soft puffs, and his pulse stopped beating like he had run a mile, the realization of what he had done came crashing down on him like a pile of bricks. What had he just done? Did he just seriously do that thinking about the clown? It was bad enough he did those things when thinking about the demon, but to do that with a killer clown that had no connection to him was mortifying. At least with the demon he had a small justification. There was no excuse to what he did just now.

As quickly as his weak body could, he made his way over to his bathroom. He flicked the lights on and stared at himself, flushed face and yellow piercing eyes stared back at him mocking him. He quickly turned away from the sight in the mirror and made his way into the bath turning the water on with a shaking hand. Julian didn't wait for the water to warm before jumping inside. With slow stiff moments he began scrubbing away the evidence of what he had done minutes before.

What did this mean? He pondered silently, rubbing harder making his fair skin turn pink from the harsh treatment. It had been like being possessed by the needs of his body. He couldn't have controlled it even if he wanted to. Did he want to? Yes, of course he did, what nonsense was he thinking? He had learned a long time ago that he had very little control over his life ever since the demon had taken him. Even his death was controlled by that demon.

He could still feel the knife he had stolen from his kitchen digging into his small wrist, cutting away his ties to the living. At time, to his small childish mind, it had seemed like the only way out. He scoffed at the thought now. How foolish of him to believe he would be free even in death. No, that had only made him closer to the demon. It had assured to just make him sink deeper into the madness that the demon had started. There would be no death for him. The demon had made sure if it. He could cut, bleed, and plea for death, but the only one who could grant it to him now was the demon. Of course, another demon could come and kill him, but they were more likely to enslave him for fun than do that. Those despicable creature only found pleasure in making others suffer.

Even now, he didn't want to die. He wanted to live long enough to drive a knife deep into the filthy demon’s heart and watch him die. A cruel twist of fate to have his beloved master die by his pet’s hand. Only them would he know peace. But what Hope was there for a human already enslaved? He couldn't kill the demon, even thinking about it sent spark needles of pain throughout his whole body. It was the bond connecting the two that prevented him from even devising a plan to kill the demon. He could think all he wanted about doing it, but once an actual plan was running his mind would go blank and instead a roaring headache would replace the thought. Was he really lost to that demon?

A sharp pain brought him back from his darkening thoughts, as he felt blood trickle down his stomach. He glanced down and notice the skin around his stomach was rubbed raw. Scratches from his own fingernails had dug into his skin leaving red angry mark. Some had been deep enough to cause small trickles of blood to run down. Why did he always find himself in a bathroom bleeding in some form?

Sighing in defeat, Julian rinsed away the blood from his body. Here he was again, harming himself to the thought of the demon. Why was it that whenever it concerned that monster pain was the only thing he felt? Maybe he was truly damn and just need to accept his fate.

Turing off the water he got out of the bathtub. Not wasting his time drying himself off he walked back into his room naked. He scowled at the mess in the sheets before ripping them off and throwing them on the ground. He'd deal with those later. Right now all he wanted was to sleep away this day. He let his body fall down on the bed with a thud bouncing slightly before settling.

If he learned anything about today was that Dave and Beth couldn't be trusted to keep him safe. They had their own agendas and he was sure that if it came down to it they wouldn’t hesitate to chop him up into little pieces. They were all just tiptoeing around themselves waiting from someone to make a wrong move. How stupid had he been to trust them so quickly? The promise of freedom was not worth this. This whole mess was just adding on to his own problem. Before all he had to worry about was Abanus, but now the clown was becoming an issue as well. He would stick with the lesser of two evil for now. Hopefully that didn't end up being a mistake.

****

  
Pennywise stared at the now sleeping teenage human in confusion. The little human had been unaware of Its presence the entire time. If the human had know Pennywise was lurking in the shadows outside his window It highly doubt he would have done . . . what he had a few moments ago. The little human had seemed to be pleasuring himself, but what had thrown It completely off guard was when he had cried his name out. At first It had thought the human had became aware of Its presence, but no that had not been it. The little human was pleasuring himself to thoughts of It.

After the little spectacle down in the sewers It had become even more intrigued with the little human. The proof was that It had been lurking outside of the human’s house. When the little human had tuned the world out It had dumped him back into the surface. It wasn't sure why It had done that yet, but killing the human had seemed like a waste when It was still unsure of the unique behavior the human had display–was still displaying. It had come here to observed the human better. It didn't expect for the little human to start pleasuring himself to thoughts of It.

Watching the little human shiver and pant in need for It had been more than pleasing. The human had fallen apart to thoughts of It, not that cow headed demon. While watching the little human writhing in pleasure It had caught whiffs of the humans smell. It had been practically drooling in hunger at the delicious smell that the human emitted. It didn't know why, but the little human inside the room sleeping peacefully had a way of producing the most delicious smells. The human could become so appetizing when it was like that.

It couldn't help but stare at the human who had been shaking with need and when the human had reached its end the smells had intensified. It had to hold Itself back from attacking the little human and devouring him. The soft white flesh would taste so good once It had taken a bite out of it. Just thinking about sinking his teeth into the soft white thighs of the little sleeping human made Pennywise growl in hunger. It would enjoy consuming the little human.

Pennywise took in the naked form of the little human inside again. The little human was a work of art. He was so different from the children It had eaten in the past. Most children were soft small little snacks, barely out of childhood tasting like cotton candy and a little bit like baby powder. They had been nothing compare to the human inside. The human inside had long soft white fleshy limbs that stretch the length of his bed. The limbs looked delicate, like a dancer’s, but filled with enough meat to be a very satisfying meal. The chest of the human narrowed down into a thin waist, almost a girl’s waist, and looked just as tasty as its limbs. It didn't care much of what It's food looked like, but this human with white blonde hair and soft delicate features was appealing to It. It just wanted to bite into the long white neck and never let go until the little human was consumed.

It was aware of Its body moving without permission through the window and creeping closer until It was a few feet away from the little sleeping human. It caught the scratches bleeding slight on the human’s stomach. It scowled and leaned down. Pennywise seemed to be moving on instinct now when it let Its tongue lick up the scratches. Pennywise closed Its eyes as the taste of Its human filled Its mouth. The little human tasted just as good as he smelled. It continued to lap at the scratches, completely unaware of anything but the taste of the little human below him.

It's claws slipped out puncturing holes into the bedding as It began to enthusiastically lick the stomach of the human. The little human moaned softly shifting in his sleep. Pennywise felt Its eyes glow brighter at the smell arising from the human. It got a little carried away when It bit down on the human’s stomach causing the little human to gasp and arch his back. The little human’s legs kick out as It latched on watching the human’s face morphed into one of pleasure in his sleep. That had been the same expression the human had bore when pleasuring himself. Pennywise felt more blood gush into Its mouth as sharp teeth dug a little deeper into the human. Another gasp that changed into a whimper escaped the human’s soft plush lips making Pennywise ease up on biting the human and continued Its lapping. The little human reacted so differently. It pleased It immensely in many ways that the little human reacted the way he was right now. It just made the little one more appealing to It.

Watching the human fall apart again was so appetizing. The small whimpers and gaps just added to the whole thing. The way the human would arch into the lapping tongue or the way the yellow eyes reflected back Its own hunger. Pennywise froze at it realized the human’s wide eyes were staring down at It. Burning yellow eyes stared him down as It rose to move closer to the human’s face. A flushed face greeted Pennywise when It was face to face with the little human. The human’s pink lips parted as he stared at the blood around Its face.

Pennywise waited for the human to scream out in terror or to attack him for assaulting him in his sleep, but instead the human continued to stare with wide eyes at him. The yellow eyes a reflection of Its own. That seemed to also please It more. It flinched back when warm lips met Its bloody ones and arms wrapped around Its neck. A soft warm tongue shyly licked the blood from Its mouth as It continued to stand stiffly against the humans attack. It felt small slender fingers twist in Its hair as the human bit down on Its lip. A content growl escaped It as the human whimpered.

“Master,” the human gasped in need staring up at It. Blood started trickling down the human’s nose as his eyes rolled to the back of his head and promptly passed out going limp.

It let out a frustrated growl at the human who always seemed to pass out at the worst possible moments. It set the human down again and stared at the shivering thing. The little human did that on purpose, passing out when It had been seduced by his little wanton actions. With one last glance, It escaped the way It came. It would have to deal with the little human later. Maybe teach the little one a lesson on passing out randomly. Pennywise pushed all thoughts of the little human now sleeping away from Its mind. The aged old hunger that was very familiar roared its head beck demanding to be sated. With a dark smile, Pennywise found his next victim in a nearby house still awake despite the late hour playing with a doll.

***

  
“Julian, how was your day?” Julian's mother asked staring at him with hazel eyes. Julian blinked slowly as he took in his mother. “Julian, sweetie, are you okay?”

“Mom?” He dared ask while staring widely at the woman in front of him. “Is that really you?”

His mother smiled again in confusion. She sweetly ruffled his hair and continued to set the table for dinner. “Of course it's me, Julian. Who else would it be?”

Julian stared as she set down a plate of food for him to eat. He continued to watch his mother as she hummed and moved around the kitchen. She looked exactly like the last time he saw her. Light brown hair always neatly pulled up in a tight bun, fair complexion that he had inherited from her along with her slim figure, but the addition of small wrinkle lines had formed around her face, and she had gain a little weight.

He didn't remember getting here. In fact, he was sure that he had—

“Ugh!” He cried clutching his head.

“Julian, what's the matter? Are you okay?” His mother asked cupping his cheeks in between her hands. She raised his head up to meet her soft gaze.

Julian tried to think back again, but the sharp pain in his head made it impossible for him. What had he been thinking about before? His mother, but what of her? He groan in pain squeezing his eyes shut.

“My head hurts,” he finally told her pulling away from her cold hands to rub his temples. Why did it hurt to think about how he got here? And where was his father?

“Maybe you should relax. Try not to think,” she said sitting down beside him. He blinked when the pain went away. His mind going back to a peaceful place. “Yes, that's it Julian. Don't you feel much better now?”

“Much better,” he echoed blinking slowly as she stood and gathered his plate. She continued her soft humming as she tidy up the kitchen. He felt his vision going in and out of focused as he tried to concentrate on what she was doing. For some strange reason Julian couldn't get comfortable in her presence. It almost felt like there was something wrong with his mother, but his mind went blank when he tried to concentrate clearly on what was bothering him.

“… lovely sheep, sweet little sheep, come join me,” she sung lowly as she set another plate in front of him. Wait, when had he finished eating the last one? Did he even remember what it had tasted like? What did he eat? “We’ll be fine, just wait and see! This darkness that confines us, slowly sinking us below, don't you worry it’s just another little show. Gather up that little soul, and come join me into hell! You'll surely see, my little pet, how master has waited so long without his little sheep.”

Julian shook his head as she kissed his forehead, and sat down across from him. He watched her as she lifted one pale hand and reach across the table. She grasped his wrist tightly in her hand and smiled back at him. He had to remember. Remember.

“No more games, my little pet, just you and me dancing away into eternity. My little sheep,” she sang on.

Dancing.

That seemed so strange to him. That single word held so much meaning.

Dancing.

Who else's loved to dance? Someone danced, but who danced?

Dancing.

He blinked again catching sight of a the red roses sitting across from him half blocking the view of his mother. Red was such a lovely color, wasn't it? Such vibrant color. The way it seemed to contrast against the bright color of the dull room made him smile.

“There is no one else who knows it, but surely they will see. How lovely I can kill that little sheep.”

“Penny,” he stated suddenly cutting off his mother’s song. She blinked at him slowly.

“Penny? What about a penny?” She said in a strain voice.

“There was something about a penny...” he trailed off.

Julian winced when her hand tightened even more making his bones protest against the assault. He could feel her nails digging into the soft flesh of his wrist. He tired in vain to pull his arm back away from her but she held on watching him struggle.

“Mother, you are hurting me,” he said panicking when she didn't let go. She tilted her head, making him able to see her past the roses between them. Her black eyes stared into his as she grinned widely. The grin made her teeth look sharper than before causing him to stop his struggle.

“It is not wise to anger mother, my little Jewel.”

Pennywise.

“Do not think that name in my presence!” She declared in anger tugging him across the table. He screamed when she seemly made a kitchen knife appear out of nowhere and stabbed it beside him head. He watched her hand turn black as it rotted making the fleshy part of fall down into the table. He couldn’t help but stare in horror as the fingers wrapped around the handle grow into a claw.

“Do not think I do not know of your little unfaithfulness, my pet.” Julian’s eyes widen when his mother began rotting more, slowly growing in height and morphing into the demon. He gagged at the horrible stench of death and decaying flesh. It was a horrible smell and it only seemed to intensify as the demon replaced the form of his mother. “We are connected Julian and there is nothing you can do that I do not know of!”

“Get away from me!” He yelled struggling to get free of the beast looming over him.

Abanus, now fully formed, cackled in amusement at his struggle. “You are mine, only mine and no one else can have you. No one!”

“No, you don't own me!”

“Foolish little Julian, you are already mine. I control everything about you, everything you will ever do in life and I shall continue to control you until your bones break and your flesh rots. You're my puppet and you will always be mine.”

Julian kicked at Abanus as he lifted him from the table by his wrists. The demon's red glowing eyes brighten as he brought Julian closer. “You are mine, Julian. Until I say you are not.”

“You don't control me. You don't!”

“You need more proof?” The demon asked in a smug voice. “Very well, you shall have your proof, my little pet.”

“What are you–“

The demon dug his claws into the Julian's wrists making him cry out in pain. Abanus slowly lifted Julian's shirt up revealing his stomach. His red glowing eyes caught sight of the bite mark on Julian's side. He growled in anger before throwing Julian to the floor towering over him.

“ Naughty Boy, Jules,” Abanus hissed down at the terrified human. “A very naughty boy indeed. You dare let someone else touch what is mine? You should know better Julian.”

Julian kicked at the demon standing over him and tried to crawl under the table only to be pinned down by the demon’s hands. “Let me go you monster!”

Abanus laughed at his struggle. He ignored the kicks as he lifted one finger to touch the bite mark the clown had done to his previous pet. Abanus didn't like others touching what was rightfully his. And what was most displeasing to him was that he knew his pet had enjoyed being touched by the clown. He didn't understand why his pet would encourage the touch of another. His pet was made to only enjoy his touch. He had wired the human to only crave him, but the demon knew his little Jewel had desired another. He had felt their bond snip away for a few minutes as Julian indulged in the clown’s touch. Abanus had panicked in that short time for it was sign that his pet wasn't fully under his control. To think that all his hard work could be erased by a pitiful clown had made Abanus desperate to gain back his pet. He needed to remind the human that he was only his and no one else's. Not his parents or those weak church followers, or the clown. Julian belong only to him.

With that desperate thought Abanus dug his claw into the bite mark making his pet scream and writhe in pain. He ignored his pet’s pleas for him to stop and continued to carve his own mark over the clown's mark. Even though this was the Dreamscape the mark would transcend into the real world making sure that his pet never forgot. This would ensure that his pet and that clown knew who Julian belong to. He would kill his pet before letting anyone else have him. Julian who remain his till the end of time. And once he was tire of his little pet he would devour his soul making sure that he would always be with him, even in death.

Once the mark was complete Abanus stop. He inspected the bleeding mark with satisfaction. This would serve to remind Julian very well. The mark he had chosen was his symbol of summoning. Those humans who had been desperate and greedy for power always contacted him using his symbol. In exchange he would offer them what they most desired for eight years and he would then come take their soul killing them in the process. It brought him great pleasure to see it stamped on his little pet. His little pet was sobbing so deliciously making him even more appetizing to the demon. It would be his pleasure to break the human once again.

Abanus having decided that his little pet would never forget him again slowly retreated from the human's mind leaving him a bloody mess on the ground. Once his pet woke he would realize what the course of his action had cost him. Soon he would have his hands on him again.

****

  
Daylight broke once again in the small quiet town of Derry lighting the way to many residents of the town. For many it was the beginning of another endless summer nightmare and for others it was just another oblivious day in the humble town of Derry. Those unaware continued their day without worries about the disappearances of the younger children. They would get up, see another poster of a missing child and after giving their opinion continue on forgetting what they had seen. The obliviousness of those people was by design of the evil celestial entity making havoc of the town. They would never question what was really happening in the town and would always seem to forget that there was anything wrong with the town. It protected their simple minds.

On the other hand, those few who remembered lived in constant paranoia that this would be their last day. It was constant worrying when we they spotted another poster of a missing child or when they thought they had caught a glimpse of something staring back at them from the corners of their eyes. Every shadow was the enemy as well as every human who simply said good morning or stared for a second too long. The reality that no place was safe played a constant factor in the way their lives went. If they let their guard down would they be their undoing? It was like a game of chest with the opponent having a big advantage by being able to see into their minds and know their next move.

This was the state Julian woke up in surround by a pool of his own blood with his side hurting like crazy. His own mind being his worst enemy at the moment circling every bad thought in his head like a broken record. He had very little strength to even get up and clean his wound. He wanted to lay in his bed shutting the world out. In this moment he felt like giving up and walking straight into the demon's hands. Freedom seemed so far away.

He stiffly moved on his bed raising himself off and up wincing with every step he took to the bathroom. Julian ignored his pale face and dark circles reflecting back at him and went about inspecting the mark on his side after having turn the shower on. The mark was red and throbbing insistently making every move he made painful. He carefully touched the red skin surrounding the mark hissing when pain shot through his whole body. He swallowed down the bile rising up his throat and continued with washing out the blood that had dried on his skin away. He leaned up against the shower wall when the pain of standing became too much for him to handle.

With his head resting back on the wall and the warm water hitting his wound Julian blocked the world away only focusing in on the sound of water hitting the tile floor. His eyes watched the water cascading down on him. Every droplet that touch him bursting into a million more connecting all the other droplets together that slowly fell down his aching body. Julian let out a shaky breath before sinking down to the floor letting the water hit his face. This way the tears silently falling down his face felt just like those droplets.

For some time Julian sat on the tile floor staring absently at the wall across from him until he became numb from the cold. He should be used to the old by now. It was all he had ever known. With a numb hand he turned the water off. He struggled to get up but once he was on his feet again he wrapped his cold body in a fluffy towel and continued his morning with routine of getting himself dressed.

After he had clothes on he made the painful journey down stairs. Every step he took jostle his side making him wince. He reached the bottom of the stairs wanting to die fam the constant pain his side. He caught sight of Beth outside the back porch standing quietly observing the rising sun. Julian contemplated going to her for some time before giving in and joining her outside. She glanced at him for a moment taking in his appearance. Her gaze returned to the sunrise after her small assessment of his state. No doubtfully she took noticed of his dark circles and pale face like he had earlier. They stood silently beside each other not saying a word as the sun rose illuminating the horizon.

“I had a partner once,” she began softly catching Julian's attention. “He believed there was good in all of humanity and that everyone could be saved regardless of what state they were in. He was a very pure soul with good intentions. The kind you run into only once in your lifetime. The kind that helps because they can and not because they have to. We had worked together for a few years before the church gave us an assignment in France. A case about a young girl who had fallen victim of a demon, much like you. We don't know why or the reason behind why the choose the younger ones, but we think it's because they are yet to be corrupted by the world. It is hard to understand the minds of demons and who would really want to get into that mess in the first place? She was eleven and had lived a very sheltered life before being taken. When we reached her it had already been to late to save her, but my partner wanted to though. He captured her before I could get to them and instead of killing her he got too close and paid the price of trusting her by thinking she had been saved. He let her go thinking she was back to normal. Little did he know she had been faking the whole time. The next day we had learned that she had broken into an orphanage killing twelve children that night. My partner was devastated by the news and when we went back to kill her he couldn't. He died by the demon who controlled the girl, using her as a puppet to weaken his defenses. I managed to kill the little girl, but the demon got away. His death taught me a great lesson; Those who appear innocent can carry the evil deep inside and hide it well.”

Beth turn to look at Julian with a somber look on her face. “We do what we must to protect the world from evil Julian, but evil doesn't stare at your face waiting for it to be killed. It hides inside those who have the face of innocence. This like me and Dave we all have our tragic story. You're a survivor, you have always been one. Don't let the darkness that surrounds you consume you. Find comfort in friends and fight it. Because even as the sun sets and the night darkens there are still the stars to guide the way and the promise of a new day awaits. That is our code and that is what we follow. We are those stars when all hope seems lost. Someday you will be that star, but for now let others guide you forward.”

Julian watched as she smiled sadly and went inside the house. For some time Justin stood watching the sun rise higher in the sky taking in her story and advice. There wasn't much Julian believed in anymore, but he didn't want to end up killing others under the command of a demon. Beth's words shook him from his numb state and made him determined to find a way to kill the demon. Even if it meant making another deal with a devil.   
 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This plot is more fickle than the weather.


	7. Reality or Insanity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t like this chapter. It’s missing something :/

“How's your arm?” Julian asked Eddie as he sat down beside the younger teenager sulking by himself on the front steps of his house. After a little struggle Julian had finally found Eddie’s house. It had taken him much of the day, but he had managed to find it. He had a little bit of the day left before curfew. He didn’t want to run into certain people at the moment. No after what he had experienced the last few days.

As he was siting down he tried to hide the wince of pain. He sighed in relief before smiling forcefully at Eddie, pushing through the pain in his body.

Eddie gave Julian, who was eating an apple, a small glare before looking away. Eddie didn’t really want to talk to anyone at the moment. Or he did. He just didn’t know what to say to get the swirling thoughts inside his head out. “Nothing.”

Julian paused from his eating to study Eddie. His eyes took in the mostly blank white cast that had the words ‘Loser’ scribbled in bold letter across it. He had been expecting to see the names of Eddie’s friends written across his cast. He was surprised to find it blank. “I hope you didn't write that yourself.”

Eddie gave him another annoyed look. He shifted his cast arm to hide the offensive word he knew was written on his cast. “No. I didn't write this. Julian?”

“Yes?”

“What's a gazebo?”

Julian gave the other a confused blink.

“Uh? A gazebo?”

“Yeah, my medicine apparently is a gazebo.”

“Ahh, you mean placebo?” Julian asked once the confusion of being asked such a weird question had passed. For a short moment he had pondered if Eddie was losing his mind. He was glad to know his new friend had only confused the simple word with another. Although that in itself was a little amusing and worrisome.

Eddie gave him a small nod.

“Well, it's sort of fake medicine to help people who suffer from psychological problems. Sometimes people use to make others feel better I think. Why do you ask?”

“My mother has been giving me gazebo—”

“Placebo.”

“—whatever, medicine.” He finished after being interrupted by Julian. He watched the older teen shift stiffly to face him.

It hadn’t escaped Eddie that Julian had been walking stiffly towards him when he first arrived at his house. From previous encounters with Julian, he knew that the older teen usually walked so calmly and gracefully, but today he was walking like something was bothering him or like something had injured him. Eddie won’t have mind being told by Julian that he had injured himself with the whole ordeal with the creepy clown back at the crack house, but Julian kept quiet once he sat down beside him. It had thrown Eddie even further off watching the older teenager smiling cheerfully despite the obvious signs of pain. He had been too bothered to even asked what was going on with Julian.

Thinking back in it, now that he wasn’t dealing with a broken arm, Eddie hadn’t really thought about the clown monster taking Julian hostage. Sure he had went to alert his family, but with knowing that the clown had taken Julian for a short while had made Eddie hesitant about asking. Had the clown done something to him? He had seemed fine, besides being unconscious, when he caught a glimpse of the adults carry him from their car into the house.

Everyone had been too shaken to think properly at the time. Eddie had been in pain from having his arm broken just wanted to go home and fix his arm, even after screaming at Richie for setting his arm back. Richie could have cut open an artery or something killing him. He had been too angry and hurting to pay anymore attention after that.

He went home to his mother only to be told he couldn't hang out with his friends anymore. He had always listened to his mom when she told him to do something so he had found himself in a bad mood after being forbidden to hang out with his friends. He then proceeded to be mocked by a girl. It was really pathetic.

“Have you confronted her about it?” Julian asked noticing Eddie’s far away look. He shifted and winced as the clawed mark on his side rubbed against his shirt. Even when he wasn't moving he could still feel it's insistent presence.

Eddie suddenly blinked into awareness again. He barely caught Julian’s question and shrugged him off.

“Enough about me, okay” Eddie said irritated by the questions. “Whatever happened to you? I mean, the clown got you didn't it?”

Julian shrugged looking away as he felt his face heat up.

There was the questions he had been avoiding since meeting up with Eddie. He had been trying to avoid talking about what had happen a few days ago. Going into that house had been a terrible mistake. His life had spiraled out of control after that. Not only did he have the horrible nightmare of the demon marking but he had also found himself jerking off to Pennywise. He didn’t even like guys. Those thoughts were better left alone in the back of his head.

“I don't remember much, really. I might have hit my head on the way down or something?”

“That clown didn't, you know?” Eddie began feeling his face light up at the thought.

Julian gave him a confused look before realization struck and he coughed blushing as well in embarrassment. “What? No, why would you… look, Pennywise is a killer clown monster thingy that kills children after scaring them. No way does It feel any sort of those…things.”

“You never know. You're not exactly a kid,” Eddie said to him.

Julian felt like strangling himself. No, he definitely did not want to know. One evil entity was enough. Eddie was making t hard for him to forget that those thoughts. They were supposed to stay far away from his mind. The less he thought about Pennywise the better. He didn’t need to be thinking of the clown that way.

“Eddie I like you, but if you ever suggest that me and the clown are going to do things I'm going to throw you down a well.”

“I'm just saying. You never knew what It could have done to you. Imagine the germs and diseases down there. What if you have a disease now? Did you take a shower before meeting me? Wait, did you wash your hands before eating that peach?”

Julian stared incredulously at Eddie as he rambled on about germs and proper hand washing. Not just a few moments ago Eddie had suggested him and Pennywise shagging and now he was freaking out about him washing his hands and showering. Eddie truly was a joy to be around. He really did like Eddie. Eddie made Julian forget about the bad things happening in his life. He was the one good thing happing to Julian at the moment.

Julian hugged Eddie making Eddie yelp and push at him. He ignored the younger teen’s struggle and continued to hug him. Eddie was just too cute sometimes. He couldn't believe the kid.

“You're hugging me,” Eddie said freaking out a little. Eddie was glad Julian wasn’t looking at his face, because it had flushed bright red after being hugged by the older teenager. His mind was freaking out for various reasons at the moment. “Oh, god, what if you have a diseased and you're passing it one to me?”

"Eddie.”

“Yes?”

“Shut up.”

“Okay.”

Julian kept hugging Eddie for a while in silence. He then let the small boy go after giving him a loving pat in the back. Sitting back down, Julian immediately started regretting his choice of even moving in the first place.

Even after so many days, the mark on his side had not healed much. The mark was still an angry red color and occasionally bleed if Julian moved around too much or too fast. He had pondered at night, when sleep won’t come to him, if it had to do anything with it being a mark from a demon. He hadn’t been too surprise to find himself face to face with the demon in his dreams. That wasn’t something new to Julian, but the demon usually mocked him or taunted him. Never before had the demon actually harmed him. The demon took only pleasure in making sure Julian knew he was under his control.

Then again, when he had first inspected the mark more closely he had found what the demon had been ranting on about. There, hidden underneath the demon’s mark, had been the imprint of teeth. Julian didn’t remember getting those. When had that happened? It could only be Pennywise, but when did he do that? After he passed out in the sewers? But he didn’t remember seeing the bite mark after waking up. Of course he was too busy jerking off to Pennywise to properly check his body at the time. The bite mark could have been there the entire time and he wouldn’t have notice since his attention was elsewhere.

How embarrassing to find himself in this situation. Julian did not like the killer clown of children. He needed a big reality check and maybe to get him mind examined.

“Julian,” Eddie asked when Julian stayed silent. “ Are you sure you're okay?”

Julian forced a smile on his face when he noticed the concern look on Eddie's face. How long had he been inside his head thinking about the clown? He told himself those thoughts needed to stay far away in the back of his mind, but why was it that the clown always snuck his way into the front of his mind. “Perfectly fine, Eddie. Don't worry too much about me. I'll be okay.”

He received a skeptical look from the other teenager.

“But—”

“No, enough about me. Where's everyone else? And here give me your arm. Hand me a sharpie will you” he interrupted the other pulling his cast arm across his lap.

Eddie pulled a sharpie that he hand been carrying in hopes of getting his friends to sign his cast out and handed it to Julian. He watched Julian take it and write his name in fancy letters on his cast. Julian started a small doodle on his cast making Eddie relax and just letting the older teen do his thing.

“Everyone just sort of went different ways afterwards,” Eddie finally explained. “The others wanted to forget everything, but Bill insisted that we go back better prepared to fight the clown off . No one really wanted to. Not after watching you get taken by the clown. We were so unprepared and helpless to save you. We all argued that it was better to leave things alone, but  
Bill kept going on and on about going back. He even punched Richie in the face.”

Julian looked up from his drawing to give Eddie a surprised look. “Bill did that? Always thought he was the rational one of the group.”

“Well, Richie might have offended him a little.”

“I figured,” he mumbled going back to his little doodle. “You shouldn't be afraid of It. That's what It wants from you.”

“That’s what Bev said too,” Eddie whispered. He stared at Julian’s hand glide across his cast in silence. “Why aren't you afraid of It?”

Julian paused from his drawing. Looking up at Eddie he put the sharpie cap on and set it down. He sighed, another one of those conversations he was hoping to avoid.

“I used to live in a Convent, Eddie. I saw a lot of things before I came here. I'm not like you guys. I'm not normal.”

“What do you mean? You are normal.”

“No, far from normal, actually. Look we all face our own demons in life. Mine just happened to be real.”

“Whatever you went through I'm sure I could understand.”

“I don't want you to think ill of me. You don't need to know. It's more safe if you didn't know.”

“But—“

“Enough.” Julian said forcefully. He grabbed the sharpie and continued his drawing. He felt the stares Eddie was giving him but chose to ignore them.

Eddie was taken aback by Julian's attitude. He suddenly realized how little he knew of the older teenager. He knew next to nothing of him. Sure he could say up front that Julian was nice and kind at first glance, but he didn't know much more than what the surface showed. Besides a few facts here and there Julian was a mystery to him. It never bothered him before so he didn't know why, at this very moment, it unsettled him. Maybe it was the way his eyes had darken and a cold aurora had surround Julian or maybe it was just nerves from surviving death from It.

Everything came down to the surface with Julian. He shouldn't pry too much into the older teenager’s past, but something about him made Eddie curious to know. What exactly was so terrifying to Julian that he didn't want to share about himself? He rarely talked about himself and seemed to have a way of evading questions. It was frustrating to Eddie since he wanted to really trust Julian all the way, but by the way he would hide himself it made it hard for Eddie.

What was hiding behind the surface of Julian?

“Sometimes we go looking for the truth only for the truth to show us the ugliness of this world,” Julian whispered after while. “And then sometimes the truth finds us even if we didn't want to know.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Don't think to much. Let's focus on trying to get your friends to not fight anymore,” Julian said finishing his doodle and handing the sharpie back to Eddie.

Eddie glanced down and took in the design of a cute turtle floating under Julian’s name. He smiled at the drawing. Even if Julian was secretive about himself Eddie couldn't deny how much he liked the older teenager.

"It might be a while before we even get back together. My mom doesn't want me to hang out with them anymore. Says they're nothing but trouble.”

“Likes that's ever going to stop you,” Julian said grinning. “Come on, go with metro when some fun. Lets go watch a movie or something.”

“Can't,” Eddie winced when he saw the pout Julian was giving him. “Sorry, it's just my mom… she doesn't want me to leave the house unless she approves beforehand.”

“You're going to have to stand up for yourself one day, Eddie,” Julian told him, still pouting about being denied someone time with his friend. “If you won't join me in some fun adventures around town I guess I'll go by myself.”

“But you just got here!”

“Don't worry I'll bring back some snacks and we can paint our nails and talk about boys we like.”

“I don't like boys!”

“Really? What about that obvious crush you having going on for Mr. Trash Mouth?”

“What are you–stop! No, Richie is a friend! Just a friend!”

“Mmmhmm,” Julian teased ruffling Eddie hair. Standing up he gave Eddie a wink making him blush bright red. “Just a friend is key for more than friends.”

"Shut up!”

Julian threw his hands up in surrender. “Okay ,okay chill Eddie. I'm just teasing. I'll be back in a few. Don't go anywhere okay?”

With one final wave at Eddie, Julian started the trip back to the heart of Derry looking for a place to buy some snacks. The trip was considerably slow since he side still hurt like crazy and he didn’t know the town as well as he wanted to. He might have been living in Derry for a while now, but most of his time was spent inside the house. He didn’t want to venture too far away in case he ran into some unwanted people. Like a certain clown dressed entity.

As he walked through the town, making sure not to get too lost, his moments were stiff and jerky but he did the best he could to hide the fact that he was injured. He didn’t want anyone to know about what had happen to cause the injury in the first place. That would lead to more unwanted attention. He knew he had to confront those questions sooner or later but right now he wanted to relax a little an not think too much about it.

He could tell that Eddie had wanted to ask what was wrong with him but he was glad the boy had held back his curiosity. That was something he really liked about Eddie. He didn’t pry too much into his life even if he wanted to.

For once in Julian’s life everything was going fine. He had managed to locate a store not just a free minutes away from Eddie’s house so he could return quickly back with the promise food. After purchasing the snacks, Julian made his way back to Eddie’s house. He didn’t want to stay out in town where everyone was watching his every move suspiciously. He just wanted to go back to Eddie as quickly as he came. Maybe he would open up a little bit more about himself to the other teen.

He had just turned a corner when out of nowhere a hard body slammed against Julian's side making him cry out in pain and drop his things. When the ringing from his ears disappeared he came to only to realize he was being held up against an alley wall by mullet guy from a few weeks back. Mullet guy, Henry Bowers, as Eddie called him was grinning at him with a feral look in his eyes. He pressed Julian harder against the wall digging his fingers deep into his injured side. Julian tried his best to glare back at the idiot despite the pain.  
“Well, we’ll if it isn’t miss girly with a new hair cut,” Bowers said nastily. He snakes a hand up Julian’s side and wrapped a cold hand around his neck. “You and me have some talking to do.”

“Let go of me, you pig!”

Henry squeezed the fine neck his hand had taken a hold of, silently pleased with having the guy who insulted him squirming by his hand. He didn’t like being made a fool of. That was the one thing he hated the most from those around him. People should show him the respect he deserved. But the little girly boy squirming underneath him had insulted him greatly. He couldn’t let the other get away with it. No, not this little girly boy who thought it was okay to insult him and think he got away with insulting Henry Bowers. He might have let it slide when he was injured but now that he was better he was going to teach him a lesson. He little girly boy was going to learn what it meant to go against Henry Bowers.

  
“I’m going to teach you a lesson, Ms. Girly Boy,” he growled pulling out a new switchblade. “You might have escaped me then, but not right now. Oh, no I’m going to teach you exactly what it’s like to be made a fool of.”

Julian choked as the hand around his throat tighten, cutting off his breathing and making him wheeze. Despite not being able to breath and being in a lot of pain he still didn’t his best to glare at the idiot who had him trapped against the wall. He counted himself lucky that it was just Bowers that had found him and not his little gang he always seemed to have around him. That would not have ended well for Julian.

“As if I’m afraid of someone like you,” Julian choked out smiling at Bowers.

Bowers snarled at him in anger. He proceeded to slammed Julian back on the wall behind him causing his head to bang hard against it. He bit down hard on his lip to keep himself from crying out in pain. He wasn’t going to give the other the satisfaction of knowing he was actually hurting him. He could take whatever the idiot dished out. He had faced worse. Unknowingly however, Bowers was agitating the wound on his side making Julian squirm in pain and not fear like he wanted him to feel. That earned him an ugly smile from Bowers.

Henry smirked as he noticed the other teenager trying to hide the fact that he was in pain. It was exactly what he wanted from the other. To make him feel pain and to have him squirm underneath him. He took joy in having him writhing in pain and doing his best to hide the fact.

“Not so tough now, are you, sissy,” he hissed. He ran his switchblade down the girly guys arm leaving a thin rail of blood behind. “Not even you can deny this hurts.”

Julian laughed suddenly at him. “That doesn’t even hurt, me. Try harder, asshole.”

“I will,” Henry growled digging the knife even harder.

His eyes sparkled with glee as even more blood than before ran down into the concrete ground. He stood for a moment transfixed at the sight. There was always something about blood that had fascinated Henry since he was young. Living with a father that had pushed him to the limits of his mind might have something to do with it. He didn’t care. He didn’t mind being this way. Hurting others and putting them in their place was something he deeply enjoyed.

Julian slightly regretted taunting Bowers. It didn’t really hurt like Bowers probably intended it to but the blood loss was starting to get to him. He had lost a lot of blood in the past few days. It wasn’t even remotely healthy for him to be losing so much blood in such short days. Of course the demonic part in him kept him alive just a little but he wasn’t fully a Changeling just yet and that played a big part in his regeneration. There was only so much blood he could lose in such a short amount of time before it affected him.

He could already feel the effects of blood loss coursing through his body. He felt light headed and slightly sluggish. He tried to maintain the indifferent expression on his face, to not let the other know exactly how much pain he was really in, but since he was so weak from the blood loss his mind didn’t filter like he wanted it to. His body felt heavy and he couldn’t stop the wince that escaped when the blade dug deeper into his arm. Bowers could do anything to him at the moment and he would be too weak to fight him off properly.

Henry took noticed of the lack of struggle from the blonde. He smiled evilly not questioning why the blonde wasn’t fighting back. He took it as a victory for himself. If the blonde wasn’t going to put up much of fight then who was he to stop him from not struggling? In fact he was sure that the blonde wasn’t even that strong in the first place. The girly guy had just gotten the upper hand when he first met Henry. That and nothing more. There was no way that the skinny freak was stronger than him.

“Now, Girly, where’s that brave face you had on a few seconds ago?” Henry taunted.

Henry took the opportunity of the weaken state of the other to lifting the blonde’s shirt up. He was planning on digging his blade in the soft flesh of the blonde’s stomach when something red caught his eye. He immediately stopped when he took notice of what the red mark on the blonde’s side. He froze in shock at the bloody mess the blonde had been hiding underneath his clothes. It was all jagged and bright red from the constant pressure Henry had put on the blonde’s body. The five star pentagram was encased in an upside down triangle with sharp symbols surrounding it. What disturbed Henry the most was the outline of a bite mark underneath the pentagram.

He looked up at the blonde in disgust. In the years he had hurt others he had never run into someone so twisted to do this to themselves or to let someone else do it to them. What kind of sick mind was hiding behind the blonde’s head? He was a sick individual to do something like that. He deserved what Henry was doing to him.

“What’s this?” Henry asked touching the mark with his blade. “Little miss prefect has a dark secret.”

Julian tensed up as he felt the other lift his shirt and expose the mark. He went even more tense when the he felt the coldness of the blade touched his skin close to the mark the demon had done in him. He instinctively felt protective of the other touching the mark. He growled lowly when Bowers wouldn’t back away from his mark.

“Leave that alone you ass,” he barked out pushing back at the other. Julian tried to fight the sluggishness he felt from blood loss, but it was useless against someone who hadn’t lost a single ounce of blood. His arms were weakly pushing against an unmovable object. “Get away from me.”

Henry smiled as the blonde started to finally show signs of struggling. Good, he loved it when others tried to get away. It made it more fun for him. It was too bad he didn’t have his friends at the moment to help him hold back the struggling blonde, but the blonde hadn’t been putting much of a fight earlier so he wasn’t too worry about him getting out of his grasp.

“Now, where’s the fun in that?” Henry said cutting across the already bleeding mark on the white flesh of the blonde’s body.

Henry watched in glee as the blonde cried out for the first time since he started his assault. The blonde kicked weakly at him as he drew an ‘H’ like he did on the other fat kid. The blonde had to know who was boss in this town. “Squirming like the little freak fag you are.”

Julian felt anger course through his body as Bowers cut through the mark. His mind went into a wild rage at being touched by someone so filthy and unworthy.

With an unknown strength he didn’t know he had Julian managed to push Bowers off of him causing him to stubble by the unexpected assault. Bowers started for a moment disoriented from being pushed away so quickly before going back into action and attacking Julian. Julian dived to his right to avoid being stabbed by Bowers.

Despite the little strength he had found he still lagged behind with sluggish movements. It was going to be near impossible to run away from the other teenager who, at the moment, was stronger than Julian. If he did somehow make a run for it he was going to get caught again and find himself in the same situation before running. Julian was going to have to stay behind and fight the other or at least scare him away like he did last time. Easier said than done considering the weak state he was in. It wouldn’t take Bowers much to throw Julian down on the ground and overpower him.

Julian forced his mind to stopped spinning from moving so quickly. He stood upright and put on his best poker face when he turned to glare at Bowers. If he was going to escape being harmed by the other than he had to put up a strong front and not let Bowers know how weak he actually was at the moment.

For a second it seemed to work against, but it the illusion didn’t last long and soon enough Bowers was trying to get in a good hit. He jabbed his blade at Julian making him doge rapidly causing his already sluggish mind to spin more out of focus. Instead of one Bowers he was now seeming four. He tried to keep his eyes on all of them four, but his mind couldn’t process fast enough which Bowers was the real one. This was not going to end good for him.

Julian, in the struggle to keep himself out of harms way, managed to back himself up deeper into the dark alley giving Bowers a better advantage over him. He cursed his bad luck when all four Bowers moved in on him. His eyes darting between them, unsure of which one to avoid since they all looked real to his dizzy mind.

Henry watched the blonde sloppily try to avoid his blade from piercing his delicate skin. What little strength the blonde had found earlier was obviously gone now. He was easy picking for Henry to do as he pleased. All Henry had to do was go in for the kill and make the blonde submit to him.

As he readied his next hit to the defenseless blonde his mind went blank. His whole body felt stiff as a board, unable to move an inch. No matter how hard he tried to move his body he couldn’t even lift a finger. His mind screamed at his body to obey him, but his struggle was fruitless. Henry was no longer in control of his own body.

Julian stared puzzled at Bowers, who had frozen mid attack. What was he waiting for?

Then he too took a similar pose to Bowers when he heard the telltale giggle echo through the alley. He couldn’t stop the shiver that coursed through his body at the sound.

“Now, now Henry, you shouldn’t touch things that aren’t yours to touch,” came the cheerful voice from inside the shadows of the dark alley.

Julian followed the bright glowing yellow eyes that slowly moved into the light revealing Pennywise in his usual clown getup. Pennywise’s eyes flickered briefly towards Julian before focusing in on Bowers, who was still frozen by an unseen force. Pennywise giggled again doing a little dance towards the frozen guy before taking away his switchblade and flicking it to the side.

“Your time to be useful is not now. Run along before I change my mind about you,” Pennywise stated to the frighten boy. “Chop, chop.”

Julian watched Bowers turn stiffly around and walk out the alley as if something was controlling his body. When he reached the opening he blinked suddenly, shaking his head, and continue as if nothing had been happening before.

“What did you do to him?”

“What I do to everyone in this town,” Pennywise giggled. “Make them forget.”  
  
“That’s wrong.”

“Not if they ask for it. I almost don’t have to do it. They do it themselves.”

It wasn’t lying when It told Its little human that. The people of Derry were so desperate to forget what was happening under their noses that It’s influence was so strong against their will. It barely had to do anything to get the humans of the town to do It’s bidding. It only to pulled a few strings here and there and they were all under his control. They made it too easy for Pennywise to have fun around town. It enjoyed waking up to the same clueless and weak willed humans every three decades. It could roam around the town without the humans knowing exactly who was attacking their children. The feasting could go on for as long as It wanted it to.

Julian opened his mouth to protest against the callous words of Pennywise, but before he could say anything to voices his disapproval he swayed on his feet. The clown quickly moved into action, trying to catch him as he fell towards the ground. Strong arms grabbed hold of his weak body as all the strength he had gathered was long gone. A confused Pennywise held him close to his tall body, a little out of sorts with the while situation. Pennywise awkwardly moved him towards a bunch of boxes outside a door. He set him down with a twisted expression of confusion and discontent. The clown flailed around for a little while in front of him, unsure of what to do to help him. He moved his gloved covered hands in different directions around Julian’s weak body trying to help out, but not knowing how. Pennywise seemed to calmed down a little when Julian swatted his hands away.

“I’m fine,” Julian reassured the worried clown. Pennywise gave him an irritated looked before settling down more and studying Julian curiously with yellow eyes, the unnatural glowed they had had when ordering Bowers around was long gone and instead it was a more amber color. “Stop fretting over me. Aren’t you supposed to hate me?”

Pennywise seemed to shift suddenly at the question. He averted his eyes away from Julian, looking anywhere but at him.

“…”

“Seriously? Why do you keep showing up near me?”

“I didn’t tell you to follow those meddling kids inside my nest,” Pennywise growled still avoiding Julian’s gaze.

Julian sighed. He winced when the pain of the cut Bowers had made earlier finally hit his weak body. He lifted a hand to stop the bleeding drawing the attention of the clown. When Pennywise caught sight of the blood his eyes seemed to brighten with hunger. His mouth opened a little revealing the bunny teeth inside his mouth. A gloved hand quickly reached up to probe the bleeding wound making Julian swat at him again.

“Will you stop touching me!”

Pennywise glowered at Julian before reaching again for the wound.

“I can help.”

“Sure you can, ‘Mr. next time I see you I’ll kill you’.”

Pennywise ignored him touching the wound more gently before kneeling beside Julian. His yellow eyes studied the wound with a small glare. He took in the mark the demon had done to Julian before scooting Julian closer to him. Julian weakly shoved at Pennywise’s shoulders trying to get him away from his body. He hissed in pain when he felt a warm tongue touch the bleeding mark. His fingers curled in, clutching the soft cloth of Pennywise’s suit.

He knew he should be pushing the clown away from his body, but he couldn’t help but let him continue to lick away the blood that had built up. His eyes stayed locked on the pink tongue lapping at his wound. How strange that he let someone like a killer clown so close to him. He should be screaming and fighting the clown like he did with Bowers but he couldn’t bring himself to lift a finger to stop Pennywise. He just let the other do what he wanted and deep down inside him, somewhere he didn’t want others to know about, he enjoyed being licked at by Pennywise.

It was a strange part of himself, to let the clown that wasn’t really a clown but something else, taste at him as if he were a five course meal waiting to be taken. He needed to fight back and gain some control of his life.

Mouth red with blood, Pennywise eventually stood back to watch him. He traced the mark that had stopped bleeding with on of his fingers.

“There all better.”

“Why are you helping me?” Julian asked Pennywise.

Pennywise stayed quiet for a moment standing as still as a statue. His eyes, who tended to wonder off in different directions, were staring intently at him for what seemed like the first time since he had come across the clown.

“I have lived many years,” he started off seriously. “You could say you have caught my attention.”

“Caught your attention?”

Pennywise shrugged before reverting back to his go happy attitude. Just when Julian thought he was going to get a straight forward-answer from the clown he always managed to change back into the clown persona he seemed to favored. It was like a façade to hide his real personality.

“This and that and here and there,” Pennywise sang with a giggle. “I got places to go, people to eat—I mean meet and things to do.”

Julian watched as Pennywise began to retreat back into darkness. He felt anger and a little disappointed to have the clown dismiss him so quickly. With weak legs he stood quickly and took hold of the clown’s sleeve before he could disappear from his sight.

“Wait,” he said clutching the other’s arm more tightly in his grasp.

Pennywise stopped and looked back at him with a wide smile.

“You’re leaving me just like that?”

It studied the little human clutching at his arm. It didn’t want the little human to know exactly how much he affect It. It was used to being alone and It needed to put a distance between them before It did something It would regret. The little human couldn’t have any control over It. That would cause a whole lot of trouble for It.

It shook the little human off and continued to walk ignoring the protests of the human.

Julian glared at Pennywise, angry that he was being ignored. He should have let the other go. There was no reason for him to keep talking to the clown. It was supposed to be a good thing to let the clown go without being harmed himself. The clown had helped him stop the bleeding and now he was leaving. It should have been as simple as that. He shouldn’t have done what he did next.

Julian took hold of the clown’s arm again and instantly felt his body be transported to a different location. There was a tug in his gut, like the one time his parents spun him too fast on the playground marry go round making his tummy and head spin too quickly for his mind to comprehend. It felt like free falling into nothing with the way the air zoomed past him.

It felt like forever to Julian but sooner than he expected his body just the ground hard.

It, taken by surprised, stared down at the little human who had been foolish enough to grab It when It was moving to It's nest. The little human was in a lot of trouble now. 


	8. Lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s just forget chapter seven ever happened. I’ll go back and change some things later. 
> 
> .
> 
> As always all mistakes are mine and apologies in advance. 
> 
> .

  
In his short eighteen years of life Julian had learned three very important lessons: one being that the only help he would ever receive was from himself and the other that doing foolish, thoughtless things would get him kill and lastly that the world wore a mask. He had to learn, early in his life, to not expect too much from those around him. Having high expectations of others could get him injured, or worse, killed. His life was too chaotic to let silly things like expectations get in the way of survival. He had to leave those kinds of thoughts behind or it would get him killed. There would be no knight in shining armor, or no understanding from those around him. It was just him, his thoughts, and the darkness that was life.

And exactly what got him into the mess in the first place? Maybe it was his innocence, that came with being a child or maybe it was one of those things people came to categorize as wrong place, wrong time moments, but Julian always knew, deep down, that this entire mess was his fault and no one else’s. How could it be a child, who’s life was barely beginning, who knew nothing of the evilness of this world, fault? Well, it was rather simple to explained if you asked the right person.

Julian’s journey to hell didn’t begin as one might think. There was no killing, no evil man tempting a little boy to get into his car with the promise of candy or an accident of a careless parent. No, his story began with a closet, as cliché as that sounds. Late at night, when his parents had tucked him in and kissed him good night, little Julian would lay in his warm bed staring at the closet, door slightly ajar, with wide terrified cerulean blue eyes. There was only darkness, as far as his little childish eyes could tell, but he could feel something staring back at him, waiting for something. It wasn’t like any darkness he was used to. The darkness in his closet wasn’t like the shadows casted by his nightlight or the shadows from the outside his window. This darkness held no light, held no warmth. It was a cold, vast, emptiness that grew within.

It scared him. His mind would be too terrified to sleep because of it. He would lay in bed for hours staring into the darkness of his closet, too terrified to even blink incase it got him. He wasn’t sure what the darkness exactly was, he just knew that whatever the darkness was was bad. Little Julian would stay awake as long as his childish mind would let him, but he would always find himself unable to keep his eyes open for long. His eyes would droop, too heavy with sleep to stay awake, and then sleep took him.

He never felt the darkness, but when he would wake he would find himself inside the closet. He would scream, making his worried parents rush into his room, frantic to find their precious son. They would always find him locked inside the closet, screaming to be let out as soon as he heard them enter his room. Once little Julian was out of the closet he would cling to his mother’s legs and refused to let go until his dad check the closet for any monsters. His dad would never find anything, of course they wouldn’t, the darkness was too smart to let someone as simple as his parents see him. They would always dismiss it as a child’s fear of the dark, but little did they know that the dark was actually alive.

Little Julian was very spoiled, always got what he wanted, so why would his parents believe the words of a spoil little boy? They refused to believe anything he would say, dismiss him repeatedly after every tearful morning, and force him at times to stand in front of his closet until his fear went away. Sometimes it worked and little Julian would no longer feel the crippling fear he held towards his closet, but the darkness would always return. The darkness wanted him and it was not letting him go.

There were moments, before he turned ten, that he would refused be in his room, even during the day. He would camp out in the living room, his little body huddled as close to the couch cushions as he could, staring towards the hallway that led to his room. He didn’t know how, or why, but he would still feel the darkness there waiting for him, watching him. It was almost like it was mocking him, waiting for the moment he would let his guard down and it could take him. At this point his parents chose to ignore little Julian’s actions. They would brush it off as something he would eventually grow out of. But little Julian knew that the darkness wouldn’t stop until it had him, sooner than he thought as well.

But escaping his room proved to be useless, because no matter where little Julian slept, he would find himself inside the closet, arranged in a perfect sitting position. He learned not to scream anymore, his parents wouldn’t help him anyways, and he just stayed quiet, sobbing in fear inside the closet until the door would open, letting him out after hours locked inside. He would crawl out and run to his bed, covering himself in his sheets. Little Julian could swear he heard soft laughter emitting from his closet, but he couldn’t be sure of it.

Sometimes, when he wasn’t paying too much attention to his surrounds, in the corner of his eyes he would see the shadows move, forming the figure of a tall man. Could it be someone? Who was hiding there? He didn’t want to think about it. Thinking about it would lead to knowing and knowing would lead to revelations that he didn’t want. He would ignore those moments, moments that he’s shouldn’t have been ignored but who exactly was around to tell a little nine soon to be ten year old that the darkness inside his closet was a demon stalking him?

Waking up in the closet became a constant for little Julian, but unlike before his childish mind would be too tired to endure it. He would lay inside the closet, too tire to move, until late in the day. In rare occasions he would hear a soft humming and sometimes, not always, he would feel a hand slowly petting his hair. It slowly came to the point where he would tug his bed sheets into the closet and wait the night there until day break. Little Julian was still afraid, but his mind was too weak to care. All he wanted was a little rest, even if it meant sleeping inside the closet where the darkness lived. He wasn’t sure, but he felt something was going to happen soon and maybe that something was bad.

It happened on a day like the others, a wam dark night full of fireflies and crickets singing away the night, when the darkness made its move. Little Julian was just short of being teen, his parents had been playing a big party for him, when he was taken in the middle of the night. When morning came and his parents went to wake him expecting their little son to be still sleeping in his bed they found nothing. They panicked after searching his room, under the bed, inside the closet, every where in the house they searched, but couldn’t find a single trace of their beloved child. Who had taken their child without them hearing a single thing in the middle of the night? If only they had listen.

Julian, now eighteen years of age, and still not as wise as he should be, found himself in a similar situation, except this time the darkness had a face. The face of a clown, but who was asking, right? He should be afraid, why wasn’t he afraid, but he wasn’t. He was anything afraid. Maybe he was being extremely foolish and stupid at the moment, but he wasn’t afraid. Pennywise, the Dancing Clown, as he called himself might be the stuff of nightmares for some, but for Julian he was just that; A clown with nothing better to do than to scare little kids. Eating them as well was probably a big, okay major, downside, but who was he to judge the poor clown? He himself was his own brand of crazy. Julian might not go around killing little kids and then eating them because they tasted more delicious when frighten, but he had blood on his hands as well. He wasn’t as innocent as people thought.

Julian had done things most normal sane people would lock themselves up after committing those sorts if things. He could look past the killing, maybe the eating, of people. To each their own sadistic sin, but he could never look past controlling someone. He himself was control into doing things he didn’t want to do. Pennywise could kill and eat until his heart’s contempt, but when he brushed off controlling the town like his puppets Julian couldn’t look away so easily. And there was Julian’s foolish thoughtless action. Confronting an entity, a very powerful entity , about his less than pleasing behaviors.

So this is how Julian found himself, staring (glaring) at a flesh eating clown underneath the town of Derry, Maine, covered in dirty, most likely pee and other bodily waste, water. He tired really hard not to think about what exactly his body was covered in. That was the least of his worries at the moment. He really should have let the clown go and do his thing, but it was too late now to turn back.

“So,” he began softly when Pennywise didn’t move from his tense position he had taken after realizing Julian had followed him. “Come here often?”

He watched Pennywise twitched in annoyance before his eye started glowing bright yellow in anger.

“You, little human, are more trouble than originally thought,” Pennywise hissed back in reply.

Julian took the chance to let the clown in on his fuming thoughts. He wasn’t about to be pushed over. “Trouble? Who’s the child eating clown fanatic here?”

“Do not think to act so innocent, little human. I can smell death on you.”

“Creepy.”

He got a low growl in response to his jab. Was it just him or did Pennywise seem a little more starved than before? His usual bright makeup was a little dull in color and his eye held an edge they didn’t have before.

“When was the last time you fed?” Julian asked the clown in curiosity.

Pennywise stayed silent. He bared his teeth, that had become sharp little daggers, at Julian. It seemed to Julian that the questions bothered the clown more than he let on.

“I am more than a couple thousand years old,” Pennywise told Julian. “A few skipped meals won’t hurt me.”

“If you’re so powerful why do you live down here in the sewers of this town? Why not attack a bigger city?”

“Formalities.”

“But—”

“I do not need the outside world,” Pennywise cut Julian’s protest. He huffed, ignoring Julian’s splutters of indignation, and continue on down the dark tunnels of the sewer. Julian had no other option than to follow him while grumbling lowly to himself.

He didn’t see why he was even following the creepy clown in the first place. He should be going the opposite direction screaming in terror. What was wrong with him? Oh, right he wasn’t right in the head to even begin with. If he had to describe his entire situation he would put himself in the same league with Alice from Wonderland. They were both rapidly spiraling down into the rabbit hole with no escape and the only other option was to keep gonna down, deeper into the darkness and slowly embracing it. He could accept the fact that he had now become a lost cause as he followed Pennywise deeper into his ‘nest’. Only a crazy person with a death wise would follow the clown knowing what truly hid behind the childish clown costume.

That, however, did not explain his more embarrassing thoughts he had held towards the clown in the confined space of his room. Was it something the demon had done to him? Well, of course it was, just look at him; Attracted to all monsters like an animal in heat begging to be filled. Even now he was constantly, in the back of his head, fighting to not throw himself in front of Pennywise with his legs spread open and beg to be devoured. As much as the thought pleased a dark part of him, and disgusted the still sane human part of him, he had to stay strong and not let those darker parts of him win. They had been winning too many battles for so long. If he didn’t get his act together soon he would find himself with his belly expose to the clown and too far gone to be helped. Julian had to reign in his inner self, that sick twisted part of himself that loved being a slave, or else he would find himself the next tasty meal to the clown.

He couldn’t quite stop the shudder of delight at the thought.

So lost in thought Julian was he didn’t notice Pennywise giving him small quick looks. Pennywise, a little irritated for finding Itself trapped in close quarters with the little human again, was rather intrigued and content with watching the little human. It didn’t know why, or seemed to care much at this point, that the human had decided to follow It deeper into the sewers. It consider the human another pesky attribute to Its life. It could always change mind and eat the little human like many of Its other victims, but something about the little human had It trapped in an endless cycle of need. Need for what, It didn’t known.

The little human made Its mouth water, made It want to choke the life out of the little human, made It feel things It wasn’t sure It enjoyed. It only understood a few things in life. Since the beginning of Its stay on earth, It had discovered humans were only good for one thing: being a meal. Hunger was the only emotion It ever truly felt. Sometimes, on rare occasions, anger (or some variation of the feeling). It didn’t know love, sadness, or fear (well only how to inflict it on others). Those useless emotions were not something It felt or wanted to feel. It had seen, many times, how it clouded human’s small little minds, almost entrapping them, making them a slave to their emotions. It didn’t need that. It didn’t want that. But the little human seemed to have a way of making Its mind become less rational and Its control slipped around the human. The longer It stayed around the little human the more It wanted to own, to possess, him.

“Is that…” Julian voiced out after noticing where they had ended up at. There were a bunch of small objects piled up on after the other into a mountain of junk, but that wasn’t what was freaking Julian out at the moment. It was the floating bodies of small children on top of the pile. His eyes widen in shock at the state of some of the bodies that were displayed with injuries of various types. Some had limbs missing and others were covered in blood.

Pennywise gave Julian a wide grin. “They’re floating.”

“How are they doing that?”

“Magic,” It mocked the little human.

Julian couldn’t help but give the other a dead expression.

“Why aren’t you afraid?” Pennywise asked him. “Everyone is afraid.”

“I told you before, I don’t feel fear like normal people,” he explained. “I’m not entirely normal.”

Pennywise tilted his head to the side.

“You’re human,” It stated. “But you smell like death.”

“Because I’m already dead,” Julian explained solemnly. “I’ve been dead a long time now. This,” he gestured to his filth covered body. “This is an illusion of what once was and never will be, can be.”

It tilted Its head again at the explanation from the human. How can a human be and not be? Was there a trick to him? Humans were and existed then died. Their lives were such short, simple things. In a blink of an eyes, they were gone. It never cared enough to think about them or worry too much for them. They were just food to It. Like cattle, or home grown vegetables. They were easily replaced by another. It saw their death’s as a good thing. They fed him for a long time while he rested until the next time.

“All humans are the same. They all die,” It said back to the little human still looking at Its meals floating on top of the pile of memorabilia.

“Is that all we are to you?” Julian looked at the clown, who was staring back at him with hungry yellow eyes. “We’re just a meal to you, aren’t we.”

It shrugged.

“Of course we are. Just a meal for another monster,” he said bitterly thinking about the demon that had made him a slave. They were all the same. They weren’t different at all. They all strived to make people like him, weak and defenseless, their play thing. Maybe their quirks were different but they were exactly the same. One made slaves out of humans, the other ate the humans, but they were exactly the same. “You’re all the same.”

It growled at the human who had insulted It by putting It in comparison to the demon. “No, I am different. I am not a weak little demon.”

“You say that, but how are you any different from him?”

“I am a Celestial being, little human. Something your little mind would not understand. I existed long before humanity, before time, before this universe. And I shall continue to exist. The laws of your little universe do not apply to me. I might be here now, but I am beyond what you think.”

“Little mind,” Julian had never felt more insulted. “Beyond what I might think? You’re just the same! Don’t begin to think you’re different!”

It twitched, feeling the strong urge to throttle the little human who continued to doubt It. It angrily stomped towards the human, grab him by the throat, and forced him to look straight into Its face. It knew it was being careless, but the little human had pushed It too far. It need to show the human exactly what It was capable of. With one final grunt, It opens Its mouth revealing Its true form to the doubtful human. It knew what it did to human. Its true form was not something to be taken lightly and showing the little human would make him lose his mind. It watched the little human stare blankly into Its true form.

The Deadlights, as some had called them. It was too ancient to have a physical body anymore or at all. If it did once, it had forgotten what the body was. This was all that was left, what remained. This body, the one It ‘created’ from dust, was as close to a physical body as It would ever get. It could use the body to feed, to sleep, to do many things, but It didn’t really need a physical body. Still the body was very much a part of It. The body was It, but the body was not what It was truly. It was something the human mind could not comprehend. This body was as close as their little primitive mind could hope to understand.

Julian was transfixed on the blinding orange color light coming from deep within Pennywise’s mouth. His mind went completely blank, all thought had left his body, and even the ability to move was gone as well. They were just so beautiful—transcending. Yes, transcending was the correct word to describe the blinding lights emitting from Pennywise. He couldn’t understand, his mind not even coming close to understanding what they were. He just knew, deep inside him, that they were Pennywise. Somehow, those lights were Pennywise. The longer he stared at them the more he felt his mind become mush. He had to stop looking at them, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from them.

Just as quickly as the lights came, they were gone. He blinked in confusion as he stared at Pennywise’s glowing yellow eyes, a mock imitation of what he had just seen. He couldn’t help but stare at his eyes as well. Pennywise was really as old as time itself, maybe even older, to have that kind of power.

“What was that?” He asked, still out of sorts and woozy with the whole ordeal.

Pennywise gave him his evil grin, showing off his sharp teeth. “That is me. They are me. I am them. They are called by many whom have known me the Deadlights.”

“They were beautiful, you were beautiful,” Julian whispered. “They’re so blinding.”

“Humans go insane if they stare at my true form,” It said flatly. It didn’t understand how the little human could find Its true form beautiful. It was supposed to be deadly, made of powerful energy that consumed everything It touch, It whom saw It. It had no name, or like his physical body, if It once did, It no longer cared to remember. It just was. There were no laws to stop It from doing what It wanted. It was made to consume, to destroy. And what better creature than the humans to make a meal out of? So why was this little human so difficult to deal with? Why couldn’t It just get the whole thing over with and kill him?

Julian, who was still daze, came back into his mind at the clown’s last words. Wait, what was it that he had said? Insane?

“You made me look on to your real form know it might make me insane?!”

Pennywise stared at Julian for a long pause before giggling. The long pause threw Julian off for a moment. He had started to notice that sometimes the clown would pause and stare blankly into space, losing control of his eyes, which went into different directions. An early observation that was becoming a regular occurrence when he was around the clown. How had no child notice it? Maybe it was how naïve a child was compare to someone his age or older.

“Or kill. Sometimes it kills,” It added giggling in glee as it recalled some of the humans It had forced to stare at Its true form. Oh, how they screamed their little heads off. Music to Its ears. It should really do that again sometime.

“You got to be fucking with me, right?” Julian was back to his pissed off self in a mater of seconds. “You let me look into your form knowing it would kill me? Stop shrugging! Shrugging is not an answer.”

“For an injured little human you do sure make up a big fuss,” Pennywise told him giggling again.

“Oh, while we’re at it, explain to me why I found a bite mark on my stomach? It’s bad enough the demon marked over it, and now that stupidest asshole did too. What’s up with people touching me there?”

It froze at the little humans words. Its mark was gone? It saw the blood mess the other human did to Its little human, but it hadn’t been laying too much attention when It was licking away the blood. It had been too lost in the taste to be aware of what It was licking at. Now, though, that It wasn’t distracted, could think back. It took advantage of their close proximity to life the humans shirt back up and stare at the mark It had made a few days back. Sure enough, It found the mark gone replaced by the filthy demon’s mark, and now the human’s mark. It growled in anger. No, the human should only bare Its mark. He was Its toy, It owned the little human now. No one but It should have been able to touch what was Its.

“Hey, what are you doing?! Stop, hey!”

Julian watched the clown bite down hard a little above the mess that was on his side. He cried out as blood poured down his side again from the attack. What was up with people bleeding him dry lately? He weakly struggled against the clown as it was biting him like some sort of chew toy. He took everything back. He hated the clown.

“Stop, let go!”

Pennywise eventually let the human go. It inspected the mark it placed on the little human. It hummed in delight at the sight of bleeding mark.

“Why did you do that?!”

It giggled, not answering the angry little human.

“Hey, stop laughing. Answer me!” Julian demanded.

Pennywise stopped laughing. He gave Julian a long paused stare before giggling again. Okay, that was seriously starting to tick Julian off. The clown’s strange habits were starting to get on his nerves. Why couldn’t he get a straight forward answer from the demonic clown?

“Because I can,” Pennywise finally answered once he was done giggling.

“Because I wanted to. It’s not like you can stop me. I could kill you! I could kill you right now, make everyone you know forget you, and no one will remember you! Don’t you get it,” he continued a little deranged. “Don’t you see? You’re nothing.”

“Then why keep me alive? Kill me now. Do it.”

Julian felt Pennywise’s long hand wrap around his neck. He closed his eyes, expecting the clown to break his neck, to kill him like he asked, but instead Pennywise just giggled. He opened his eyes to find him giggling, but still holding his neck tightly in his grasp. Pennywise broke out in full on laughter, his whole body shaking.

“I could kill you. I could kill your little friends, your family, everyone you know, but that’s no fun. Don’t misunderstand, little human, I will kill you and your little group of friends,” It hissed. “They will all wither away into dust and bones.”

Julian had the sudden epiphany of how Pennywise worked. The behavior behind what was truly Pennywise. He was like an orca , a spider, a cat all those creatures that loved taunting and playing with their food. He gained a sick satisfaction out of watching his prey run away, only for him to catch up to them later. That’s why he let the Losers Club escape, that’s why he had been appearing individually to each and every one of them. He was mocking them, taunting them. That was why Bill saw Georgie. Pennywise wanted Bill to feel helpless. He wanted them all to feel helpless.

“You’re taunting them,” he said in understanding. “You’re taunting all of us. Playing with us.”

Pennywise grinned evilly at him. “Now you get it.”

“That’s sick.”

“It’s what I do. It’s what I have always done and shall continue to do.”

Julian, who was already tired and worn out from the events from earlier, just didn’t have strength in him like he did earlier to argue with the clown. They could go on and on, back and forth between each other, but he wasn’t going to win over the clown. The clown looked down on him, as he did to all the other humans in the world. They meant nothing to him. He meant nothing to him. He couldn’t understand why that bothered him. Did he want to mean something to the clown? To an entity older than his universes? Why did it secretly give him pleasure to know that? So many questions inside him went unanswered.

“So you’re telling me you can beat the demon following me around?” Julian asked the clown.

Pennywise gave him a small shrug. Julian tired not to throw a rock or one of the many objects surrounding on the ground at Pennywise. He wanted sentence, worded answers, not shrugs or giggles that the other seemed to always give him.

“So you can,” he began. “You can kill him.”

“Yes.”

Julian remained silent, lost in his thoughts about what he should do next. The lesser of Theo evils, perhaps? Where would that get him, though? Did he want to be a slave to something that would use his body as a toy everyday or did he want to serve a more twisted individual who took pleasure in scaring others? Could he even chose for himself?

He took Pennywise, who had started to wonder around his collection of junk whispering to himself, into deeper consideration. Come on, Julian, decide. Who do I want to be stuck with?

“I could serve under you,” he finally spoke out loud to the clown.

Pennywise halted his exploration to look up at him.

“Sever under me? I don’t need a servant. I’m powerful enough to do everything myself,” It laughed at the outrages offer from the little human. “I don’t need a servant.”

“But—“

“I don’t need you,” It said coldly. It watched the little humans expression of hurt flash across his face before he glared at the other. For a brief moment It felt bad for saying such a thing to the little human, but what It spoke was not a lie. He didn’t really need the human. The little human would get in the way and cause It more trouble. It also had deep suspicion that if It let the human close, It would not let the little one go. Better to cut ties off now, then regret everything later.

Julian bit down the hurt he felt at being rejected. He shouldn’t be feeling anything at all, but here he was feeling hurt over a clown that had turned him down without a second thought. He didn’t care. No, he didn’t are at all. He was just frustrated, yeah that was it, that he wouldn’t find help against his demon problem.

“Fine! Whatever,” the little human retorted back to It. “It’s not like I wanted to be near you or anything. All you do is bite me with my consent! In fact I’m leaving and you’d wish you had accepted my offer! Good day, Mr. Pennywise.”

It watched the little human march off into a tunnel disappearing from sight. It sighed and debated going after him, because it was certain that the little human would get lost in the vast tunnel system of Derry. Before It could make up Its mind about helping the little human or not, a movement in Its territory caught Its attention. It sensed something that shouldn’t be happening just yet. With a huffed Its power of teleportation to investigate the disturbance. 


	9. In the Middle of the Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! (Really early but still!) Here's your reward for making it this far;) 
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> Also wrote this whole chapter while watching T.S. new music video which was very ghost in the shell vibes for me. (Hence the title;) 
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> Other news, switching to Saturdays now to update 0—0. Other, other news Story is picking up now *grin* finally out of the movie bits and into the real main plot line. 
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> Annnnd I’m planning on giving Pennywise/It a name. Penny seemed too overused to me. So I’ll work on finding a new one that’s unquie. *shrug*. No idea but it’ll come to me. 
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> Mistakes are my enemy and they're there, so apologies in advance :)

  
“Lost,” he whispered, dodging a stream of water from above. Julian, with a grim expression, continued to blindly navigating the pitch black darkness of the seemingly endless tunnel system underneath Derry. “I could have sworn I’ve been here before.”

All the tunnels looked the same to him in the dark. He could barely see anything, and was glad to have at least been caring a lighter, which had conveniently been left inside his jacket. He used his free hand to feel up against the walls of the tunnels, praying not to touch something like a rat, as he treaded deeper into a tunnel. It would be his luck to fall into a hole and twist his leg or something equally as idiotic. He made another turn hoping to at least find an exit, anything that would help him get out and back into the town, but came upon another tunnel. He groan, pausing from a moment to think.

It felt like he had been hours down here, searching for a way out with no luck. He thought about calling out for Pennywise, that stupid clown had to at least know his way around here since he had lived in Derry for years, but the the thought of facing the clown again made him pause in anger and hurt. Not only was he the reason why he was lost down here, he was also someone Julian didn’t want to see for quite some time. He rather be lost forever down here than face that idiot clown anytime soon. Julian knew it was foolish of him to let his hurt get in the way of escaping the tunnels, in fact it was foolish of his to even be hurt in the first place, but he just couldn’t bring himself to be near Pennywise. He had taken his rejection to heart. There he had been offering to help the idiot, willingly trying to help, but he had dismissed him. Let the clown rot down here in this dump for all he cared. Julian just wanted to get the hell out of here.

With one last deep breath, he forced himself to keep moving, the thought of breaking down crying pushed to the back of his mind for the time being. He could break down later when he was out of here and somewhere familiar. He could go see what Dave and Beth had been up to since he last saw them. It felt like he hadn’t seen them in a while as well. He had been too focused on his earlier nightmare to think about them. Also, what they had revealed to him earlier was still fresh in his mind as well. His whole life was a big mess right now. He needed to focus on one thing. If he let his mind run without a specific direction he’d go insane.

Focus on getting out of here first, he thought to himself. Then think about all the little troubles of the world outside here.

Julian found himself pausing again when he heard screaming echoing across the walls of the tunnels. That was never a going sign. He quickly turned his light off, bathing himself in darkness and strained his ears to see if he could hear something again. There was more screaming but he couldn’t pinpoint which directions it was coming from. Everything sounded like it was all coming from the same direction down in the tunnels. He held his breath as running feet echoed amongst the screaming.

Was it getting close to him?

He couldn’t help but let out a little yelp when a light blinded him, causing him to stumble backwards and fall down into the dirty water.

“Oh, my god, it’s Julian!” Exclaimed a familiar voice. Julian held his hand up, shielding his eyes from the light, and squinted past the lights towards the person holding the flashlight. He could barely make out a figure, having his eyes in pitch darkness had made them sensitive to the light and he struggled to see.

“Julian,” called the voice again, he felt a hand touch his arm. Julian jerked back in surprise when a familiar face appear next to him.

“Eddie? What are you doing down here?” Was Julian hallucinating again?

He thought back to the last time he saw Eddie. It had been a few hours ago, when he had been teasing the other about liking Richie, but back then he had not been wearing the clothes he was now. Of course, the other could have simply changed his clothes explaining the different clothes. He could also be hallucinating like he thought before. Although, that hadn’t happen to him in a long time.

“It took Bev and we thought It took you too!” Eddie frantically told him. Eddie checked him over holding the flashlight , hands a trembling slightly in fear. Julian slowly stood, frowning at the group of younger teenagers, who were obviously scared out of their minds but stood with determination before him.

“We also lost Bill,” Richie added. Richie came up and stood beside Eddie, giving Julian a cold glance before comforting the smaller teenager. Julian wanted to comment about the look Richie had given him, he could almost label it as jealously, but he felt that now was not the time to be making jokes when all of them seemed frighten.

“Took me too?” He asked, instead of making a jab at Richie.

Mike came up to him and check him as well. “Yes, you’ve been gone for two days.”

“What?! I’ve been down here for two days? I could have sworn it’s only been a few hours at most!” Julian was suddenly freaked out about how fast the time went away when he had been down in the tunnels. Had it really been that long since any one saw him? Why hadn’t he felt time passing?

Stan stood slightly aloof from Julian, eyeing him suspiciously unlike the rest who had easily trusted him. “Wait, guys, what if it’s another trick?”

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked.

“He could be a trick from It. Julian, the real Julian, could be dead for all we know. He was gone for two whole days with no one but that thing to keep him company. It could have hunted him down and killed him,” Stan told the others, making them back away quickly from Julian as they realized what Stan was saying.

He was right, as much as they wanted to deny it. Julian had been down in the tunnels for a really long time, two whole days, alone with It. It could have killed off Julian long time ago and be using his image to trick them into thinking this was the real Julian. Like he did with them all the other times, this Julian could be a fake.

“Prove to us you’re the real Julian,” Eddie demanded from Julian. Julian was one of his closest friends, besides Richie, despite knowing him for such a short period of time. If what Stan was saying true, than it would devastate Eddie to know that one of his friends was dead because of that monster. It also made him more determined and gave him courage to go and kill It. If Julian was dead, then he would make sure to give everything he had to kill the clown.

“Guys,” Julian began a little out of sorts with the whole thing. Deep down he was a little proud that the group was being cautious of him, but a little insulted that they didn’t believe it was him. “It’s me.”

Richie pushed Eddie behind him. If this this Julian wasn’t the real Julian than Richie was not about to let him influence Eddie into anything. He knew how much Eddie like the other guy. Which he didn’t understand why.

“You heard him. Prove to us you’re the real Julian before we beat you up.”

He sighed, giving in to their request. He paused thinking about what to do to make them believe it was truly him.

“Uh,” he trailed off not knowing what to say.

Eddie bit his lip in worry. Was this Julian or was he something else?

“Oh, turtles! I doodled a turtle on Eddie’s cast,” he blurted out after thinking hard about what he could do to prove he was real.

Richie, like the others, blinked in surprise. He twisted around to inspect Eddie’s cast, only to find out what Julian had been saying was true. He was ready to argue more with the other but they really didn’t have time. Bill was still somewhere and they were here stuck debating if the bloke in front of them was the real Julian. If he wasn’t the real one they could always just beat him up like they said.

“We don’t have time for this,” Richie said pushing past Julian, resuming the run towards Bill, which had halted their chase.”We have to catch up to Bill before It kills him!”

The others agreed, running behind Richie, leaving Julian behind. Eddie lingered for a moment, looking at Julian hopefully, before going after the others too. Julian sighed, having no other choice but to follow them unless he wanted to be stuck in the tunnels again.

He was still baffled about being down here for two days without noticing the time flying. Was it because he was so close to Pennywise’s lair? Did Pennywise have the power to manipulate time? He grumbled in anger thinking that he was be the one to do that to him. Leave it to that clown to trap him down here for his own amusement. He might have been watching him struggle the entire time, laughing secretly in a corner as he blindly tried to find an escape. He was so going to hit that clown in the face when he saw him next. And judging by the looks on the teens face it might be sooner than he planned.  
  
Julian was surprised to find himself, along with the others, in Pennywise’s little lair. It had taken him hours to get away from this place and now he was here again in a matter of minutes. He stood a little apart form the others as they, after getting over the initial shock of watching kids float, tried to get a floating Beverly down and awake. He could be helping them, but they had all told him to stay away while they helped Beverly down. He watched them shake her, trying to wake her up with no success, until Ben decided to kiss her. To see her actually wake up from that was extremely surprising as well. He always thought that she and Bill would end up together.

He didn’t know wither to follow them or not when they ran off around the pile of old junk. He didn’t want to watch them fight an entity that was older than their universe and lose. That being said Pennywise hand a major advantage over them. They were just a group of kids armed with stick going after a being who probably had more power in his pinky. Pennywise could easily kill them all off without a sweat.

Julian followed behind them catching Bill kill a little boy in a yellow raincoat, which he assumed was his little brother Georgie, except it wasn’t Georgie, because as soon as he was on the ground dead his body started convulsing. The small body of Georgie slowly transformed into the six foot height of Pennywise. The group soon started yelling at Bill to kill the clown before he regain his ability to move.

“It’s not loaded!” Mike tried to warn Bill as he shot the clown in the face.

All chaos broke lose as they fought against the clown, Julian, who stood powerless to do much but try and help them from dying, quickly pulled Eddie to the side as Pennywise went to grab him. Instead he managed to take hold of Bill, who was struggling against the tall body of Pennywise.

“No, don't let him go! Let him go,” Beverly cried out.

“No,” Pennywise began, holding Bill closer to him. “I'll take him. I'll take all of you. And I'll feast on your flesh as I feed on your fear....”

His eyes flashed to Julian, briefly widening in surprise before resuming their gleeful glow.

“Oooooorrrrr you'll just leave us be I'm taking him, only him. And then I'll have my long rest and you will all live to grow old and thrive and lead happy lives until old age takes you back to the weeds.”

“Leave,” Bill told them. He watched his friends frighten looks and closed his eyes. This was all his fault. If he hadn’t dragged them down here they wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place. “I’m the one who dragged you all into this. I'm s-s-s-s-, I'm s-s-sorry.”

“S-s-s-s-sorry,” Pennywise mocked with a cheerful laugh.

“Go!”

“Guys, we can't,” Beverly said looking around at the faces of her frightened friends.

“Sorry,” Bill voiced one last time., accepting his death.

“I told you, Bill. I fucking told you,” Richie said, glaring at Bill. “I don’t want to die.”

Pennywise smiled widely at him.

“It’s your fault. You punched me in the face,” he began listing things with his finger and pacing angrily. “You made me walk through shitty water, you brought me to a fucking crackhead house.”

Julian was about to step in and defend Bill when he saw Richie square his shoulders.  
  
“And now,” he continued grabbing a baseball bat. “I’m gonna have to kill this fucking clown. Welcome to the losers club, asshole!”

Pennywise screamed in rage, throwing Bill away and attacking Richie, staring the fighting once again. This time Julian didn’t wait, he stepped in, trying to help the others out but was quickly tossed to the side by an angry Pennywise.

“Stay out of this,” Pennywise hissed lowly so he was the only one to hear him before fighting the group again.

Julian jerked his gaze up to see Beverly scream at the face of her farther before stabbing him through the face. Pennywise changed back into his clown persona, spitting out the pipe and gasping on the ground. He tried a laugh, that sounded weak and afraid. Bill took a step forward to finish Pennywise, who was taunting him with an odd sentence, face cracking and floating into the air.

“Fear,” Pennywise whispered, letting go of the ledge he was holding on and falling down the pit, screams echoing around them as he fell.

Julian watched everything in muted colors and muffled sounds. Was it over? That was it? He held back screams of frustration as he stood up from the ground. That was all it took to kill a being that was centuries old, that was older than their little universe? A few teenagers whacking it repeatedly with a few sticks? That was how Pennywise died? What a joke.

Julian faintly hears the joke Richie cracked about his summer experience essay or the statement about the kids floating back down to the ground. He faintly hears Bill break down crying as he clutches a small yellow raincoat. He doesn’t hears anything, nothing at all, and when the others began to leave he numbly followed them out, glancing one last time at the pit where Pennywise disappeared.

*****

“So you followed a bunch of fourteen year olds down a well, not only risking your life and their lives as well, and not only that but you also fought a demon clown,” Dave scowled Julian who had, for past minutes, sat staring numbly at the wall in front of him. “Well, what do you have to say for yourself?”

“Dave, take it easy, will you,” Beth cut in, noticing Julian’s state. “He just came back after being stuck down there for two days. He must be tired and worn out from everything. Look, Julian, go rest for a little bit. Me and Dave will take care of everything for a while. Turns out the clown you kids killed was the thing we were after.”

He glanced up at her smiling face.

“I’m can’t say I’m proud, but good job,” she continued. “You kids were really brave. But please don’t go do that again. Next time you kids might not be so luckily.”

Julian nodded and stood up, he walked up to his room, closing the door behind him. Once the door was shut behind him, he allowed himself to breakdown for the first time since he escaped. He kneeled down, rocking back and forth, sobbing silently. What was he to do now? How had his life become so complicated so fast? He should have stayed in the Convent. Freedom wasn’t what is was cut out to be. He rather be stuck picking berries the rest of his life than to go through this. Some how he felt that his only hope had gone burning down a pit. This was it now. This was going to be his life for the rest of his days. Always running and hiding.

Now that Pennywise was gone there was nothing stoping the demon from crossing the line and getting him. He needed to escape. He needed to get out of here. He stood on shaky legs. He didn’t make it far before he was falling to the ground. The last few days catching up to him. Not sleeping for two days straight, blood loss, and who knew what else had finally caught up to him. His last thought was of a certain clown.

***

It had been an entire month since Julian saw the Losers Club kill Pennywise. It was September now, and he had been waiting for the inevitable to happen. He was tired and he appeared it. His eyes held dark circles underneath them, he had lost a significant amount of weight, and he had become skittish of his surroundings. Every little noise scared him and every shadow made him jump. His hair, which he was used to keeping neatly kept, was a tangled mess. He was sure he looked like death rolled over. Julian had spent very little time with Eddie, despite being invited numerous times to hang out, and his friends. He had locked himself inside the house, too afraid to even step outside of house in case the demon got him.

Dave and Beth had noticed his strange behavior as well, but when they had tried to talk to him he had broken down again in front of them, making them freak out. They had left him alone after that, too weary to even approach him. They had been too busy packing again and making calls for their next hunt. They chose to ignore him for the time being, hoping that whatever had been bothering him would go away by the time they left Derry.

Julian, however, knew his days were numbered. He didn’t need to be psychic to know it. Some nights he would start muttering nonsense and others he would pass out, wake up very much like he did when he was younger; In the closet. He would find himself staring at the shadows of his room, waiting for the demon to come out and take him like he did when he was little. Many times he thought about taking the knife he had hidden under the sink and cutting his throat open. Every time he thought he would do it he would back out, crying and just cutting another part of himself instead of making the final cut that would end it for him. As desperate as he was he couldn’t bring himself from ending it all. Something always held him back.

He had given up. He didn’t have any fight left in him. He would just wait in his room every night for the demon and every day he would greet the sun, miraculously living another day. Maybe it was weakening his will like last time. Making him weak to be able to take him without struggle. What a cruel way to go.

That’s how an unusually cold September night found him again, staring with tired eyes at the shadows of his room, sitting against the wall in the corner of his bed, hair in a mess and lanky arms wrapped around his knees. Julian could faintly hear the sound of crickets outside of his room, the moonlight filtered through his closed window lighting his room up in an eerie glow. If he focused hard enough he could hear the howl of the wind outside of his room. He felt like today was the day. This was it. The end of the line for him. This was how Julian Sterling died.

“Julian,” he heard the wind whisper.

He closed his eyes, unable to stop his trembling body, as the sound of his window opening filled his empty room. He hid his face inside his knees, hoping to block out the sounds of footsteps making their way to him. Julian expected the clawed hands of Abanus to take hold of him and whisk him away into the night. He let out a whimper as the footsteps stopped a few inches away from his trembling body. His ears picking up the sound of the floorboards creaking as they kneeled down beside him.

“Julian,” he heard his name being spoken again more clearly this time.

He shook his head, denying that there was nothing there. If he pretended, if he just pretended, then there was nothing there. There wasn’t anyone there, just him and his thoughts. Why was his mind messing with him? He should just cut himself open, letting his blood taint his already red hands. These games of his were getting old.

“Julian,” they hissed.

He felt a gloved hand wrap around his arm. Wait a gloved hand? Abanus didn’t wear gloves. He gasped when the hand jerked him up, his eyes taking in the pale face of Pennywise. He froze, taking in the tired face of the clown, before wrapping his arm around him. Even if this was an illusion, a hallucination of his weak mind, he would go along with it. He didn’t care.

“Pennywise,” he whispered to the clown. He buried his face in the clown’s ruffled collar, blocking the world out. How did this feel so real? Was he really that far gone into his mind that he would make up the clown being alive? He should really be questioning this.

“Starving,” Pennywise croaked out weakly, clutching the little human close, mouth watering at the smell of fear.

Those little weak kids had left It starving for the last month, desperate to find any source of food, but too weak to move from deep within the pit It fell down. Once it had gathered enough strength, It had desperately sought the little human It had dismissed so easily before. It had found the little human cowering in a corner shaking like a leaf, body reeking of sweet fear, making Its hunger more intense. It needed the little human now. It needed to feed. Drool drilled down Its chin as the need to bite down on the soft flesh of the little human’s shoulder mounted. It couldn’t hold back any longer. It needed to feed.

“Master,” Julian found himself saying out loud, eyes glowing bright yellow to match Pennywise’s haunting eyes. He felt something inside him snap. He could feel the most intense hunger build inside him, causing his mouth to water as the sweet smell of cotton candy filled his senses. He need food. He needed food now! He stood quickly, breaking away from the weak hold of his Master. He needed to find his Master food and quick. He grinned, as a planned developed in his mind. Yes, he needed to feed his Master. His Master needed food, so he should go out and find him some.

“I shall return, Master,” he purred to his Master.

He quickly exited through the way his Master came, scaling the wall down to the ground. He sniffed the air, catching the faint smell of blood and flesh. He let his nose lead him to his desired target. He hid in the shadows of an alley, catching sight of a teenager around his age walking calmly down the alley towards him. He switched his eyes into a bright amber, and began his hunt.

“Help,” he cried out, stumbling into the light, holding his side.

The young girl gasped as she watch the guy in front of her fall done to the ground. She quickly went next to him, trying to see if she could help him.

“Are you okay? What happened?!” She asked, helping Julian up. “Let’s get you to a hospital!”

Julian couldn’t hero but grin at her blind trust. He kept his charade, waiting for her to wrap her arms around him to attack. When he felt her arms circle his waist he quickly let his façade drop. With glowing yellow eyes, he struck out, hitting the girl’s temple knocking her to the ground. He watched her cry out in pain, scrambling to get away from him. He kneeled down, catching her ankle.

“Don’t run, rabbit, it’ll only hurt you more,” he giggled out, eyes glowing brightly. The girl’s scream was cut short, turning into a gurgle as he cut her throat with a knife. He hummed as he picked her dying body up. “Master will be please. You’re still letting out fear.”

He treaded along, making haste to reach his room to delivered his prize to his Master. When he reached his house, he climbing quickly up, struggling a little to get the dead weight of the girl he was carrying up. He had to reach his Master before he died. Once he reached his room, he threw the girl’s body inside, knowing that he was alone in the house that night. He giggled when he heard her still struggling. He had dealt a blow that would kill her slowly and allow her to live long enough to feed his Master with the fear he so desperately needed. He climbed in after the body, going towards his Master, who had moved himself into the bed.

“Master?” Julian whispered, gently placing a hand on his Master’s arm. His Master opened his yellow eyes, watching him silently as he sat up. The girl twitched, causing Julian to act quickly. “Master, I brought you food. Aren’t you hungry Master?”

Pennywise followed the little humans finger, catching sight of the dying girl. Its mouth drooled as It smelled fear filling the room. It couldn’t hold itself back any longer and quickly latched in to the girl’s dying body, intensifying her fear. It bit down on the girl’s salted flesh, causing her fear to spike up even more. It tore apart the girl, causing her quick death, but her purposes had been fulfilled. It lost Itself to Its hunger, not pausing for anything, only eating quickly at the flesh provided for It by the little human.

After a while, It finished the body of the girl, leaving only strips of clothing behind. It looked up at the sound of a thud. The little human had brought back another body. This time of a grown male adult with a twisted arm and his throat cut open as well like the girl’s had been. The little human kicked the body before disappearing again through the window. It didn’t question him as It tore into the new food presented to him.

The process repeated until late that night. When It was not as weak as before and had gain Its regular strength back. The little human had latched himself to Its side, not letting go and moving even when It was still eating. Pennywise could feel the human’s gaze as It finished off the last body, feeling full and replenished. The whole front side of It was covered in blood, the bottom half of Its face as well was a bloody mess. It didn’t care, leaning back against the bed of the little human, closing Its yellow eyes and taking a small rest, wondering silently what It would do next.

Pennywise startled when it felt a soft tongue lap gently at Its face. Its eyes open to catch the human licking the blood of Its cheeks and mouth. It grumbled lowly, not really minding the little humans attention, and let the human do whatever he wanted. After all, It had the little human to thank for saving It. The little human, realizing It wasn’t going to stop him, started tonguing Its lips more intensely, seeking inside Pennywise’s mouth. Pennywise open Its mouth, not seeing the harm in letting the human have his way for a little bit, causing the little human to eagerly lap at the blood still inside Its mouth.

It felt the human’s body shift, pressing hard against Its side, wiggling as he reached deeper into Its mouth. It curiously licked the human’s tongue back, finding it amazing to have the little human moan and wiggle more, shift onto Its lap. The little human straddle Its thighs, digging his small fingers into the extra clothe on Its shoulders. Pennywise, not knowing what the little human was doing, wrapped Its hands around the small waist in front of It. Its actions cause the little human to hum happily and scoot closer to It.

It jerked back when It felt something hard rub against Its stomach. Pennywise took in the little human’s face: red cheeks, eyes brown wide, no sign of amber in sight, panting harshly against Its lips. The little human looked so debauched, so open with hooded eyes as he stared into Its one yellow eyes. It watched the human rub against Its stomach again, pink lips parting as he moaned out his pleasure to Pennywise. Pennywise, not understanding for a moment, sat stiffly against the little body wiggling eagerly. The human whined when It did nothing but stare at him in confusion.

“Master, reward,” the little human whined out to It, wiggling more. It cocked Its head at the request. The little human wanted a reward? It supposed the little human deserved one for feeding It when It was too weak to do so for Itself.

“What is it you want?” It asked, playing along with the human.

It watched the human pause before giggling softly. “Take me.”

“Take you?” It asked dumbly. The little human notice Its inexperience, pouting a little.

“Mate me,” the human stated more clearly for the clown to understand.

Julian watched the clown’s face dawn with understanding. He giggled when his Master twitched, his face wrinkling up in confusion. He knew that his Master would understand him when he asked him to mate with him. He had come to understand his Master was ancient and his thinking was old fashion. He would have to find ways to communicate more clearly with his Master. If he wanted his Master to take him he would have to state it in a way that he could understand.

His Master finally understood him for once. He giggled in glee when Pennywise nodded, pulling him closer. Julian moaned in delight when his Master’s hands rocked him gently against his own stomach, causing the most delicious friction to ignite the fire inside him. Julian leaned forward, lapping at his Master’s chin, catching the still drying blood into his mouth. When Julian reached his Master mouth, he opened his mouth, allowing Julian access inside. He eagerly took advantage of the opening, tongue reaching deep inside Pennywise’s own mouth.

Julian gasped loudly when he felt one gloved hand shift down his back, slipping under his clothes and reaching down to his entrance. He pushed back when a finger teased his opening, pushing slightly in making him lose his mind a little more. He giggled against his Master’s mouth, pleased with finally getting what he wanted. The giggle was cut short when Pennywise growled, digging the hand at his waist, causing him to feel pain that turned quickly into pleasure.

Julian felt the hand change into a claw, ripping away his shirt. His world shifted when he found himself being pushed down on his back, his Master leaning over him with a hungry expression. He shuddered at the glowing yellow eyes of his Master. Julian felt like prey to his Master, but he would willingly hand himself over in a silver plater to his Master if he so wished it. His Master meant the world to him. Anything his Master wished he would deliver to him.

His Master tore apart his clothing, leaving him bare to his eyes. Julian laid open, allowing his Master to take his bare body in, trying to entice his master more. He wanted his Master to lose control. To take him painfully like he craved, like he’d been needing since he first laid eyes on him. Since the beginning, when Julian first saw him, his Master had him captivated. The power his Master held was immense, and consuming. Those yellow eyes made him want to be consumed completely, until there was nothing left of him. His Master made him forget about his old master. This new Master would make him ascend into new heights. He would happily die with his chosen Master.

Julian didn’t have to wait long, soon enough his Master was licking at his throat, biting down as well leaving behind a trail of bleeding bite marks down his neck. He didn’t mind, in fact he craved those bites. He cried out when his Master bit down on his erect nipple, licking apologetically before taking the offended bud into his warm mouth. Julian writhing with pleasure, pawed at his Master’s clothing, desperate to feel his Master inside him. His Master, however, ignored his fussing, continuing to suck on his nipple. Julian stilled his movements when a warm hand wrapped around his hard length, squeezing slightly, slowly pumping up and down.

“Master,” he cried out in pleasure, clutching tightly into his Master’s shoulders.

His master hummed, making sparks of pleasure rushed down to his aching groin. Julian’s whole body shook as his Master continued his assault on his body, soon moving on from his bud down to his stomach. Julian’s breath hitched when he felt his Master lick past his navel, trailing down more. His back arched when his Master took him into his warm wet mouth, body kicking out in pleasure, face scrunching up in pleasure as his Master sucked him deeper into his mouth. Julian’s hands found themselves curdled around silky red hand, griping harder as his master circled the tip of his hard member, licking a line down to the base, tears of pleasure pooling in his eyes.

But Julian had always been greedy with his Master, always needing more than he was getting. Julian faintly heard his own voice begging for more, wanting more, needing more. His whole body was alight with pleasure, but he wanted more. He wanted to know how his Master felt inside him, his he took him, how he made him bleed.

“Master, please, more!”

Be careful what you such for, went the old saying as Pennywise stopped. Julian whined, displeased with his Master for stooping. He didn’t mean to make his Master stop. With a surprised yelp, he found himself flipped over to his stomach, hands pulling his hips up until he was on his knees. He shivered as he was arranged so his knees where spread apart, feeling himself so open to the sight of his Master made hims wiggle in delight. He felt his hole twitch when warm breath caresses him, making very much aware of who was behind him.

When he didn’t feel anything else he begin to twist around to beg, but he was stopped short when a warm tongue lapped at his pucker, causing him to arch and claw at the sheets beneath him. Julian turned into a mess as his Master devoured his ass, licking enthusiastically and not stopping to catch his breath or to even let Julian rest from the onslaught of pleasure. He was helpless as hands held him down by his hips, mouth sucking hard on the flesh around his hole, before pushing inside. He couldn’t help but shake, fighting back his release knowing he could only cum when his Master allowed it. He felt himself struggle, having been so long since he felt this sort of pleasure, fighting back as the tongue pushed deeper and deeper inside, precum dripping down into the bed.

His mind focused solely on the tongue inside him, everything else blocked from his mind, no other sound but his own moans and cries filled his ears, sweat dripped down his trembling body. He jerked when he felt a finger slide inside him, joining the tongue on his hole, and quickly finding that special spot inside him that always made him a hopeless mess, even more so than he was right now.

When the finger pressed down, curling inside him, onto that spot his body couldn’t hold back his release. He muffled his screaming on the bed, coming hard, ears ringing from the intensity of his organism, body slumping down as his hips twitched with his release, making a mess on the sheets under him. His Master hummed, the vibrations adding more pleasure to his quaking body, making him whine and move away from the still lapping tongue and finger inside him.

His Master didn’t give him rest, instead he added another finger, making his sensitive insides hurt, but that hurt soon changed into pleasure as he felt himself harden again. His hips moved back, pulling the fingers deeper into his greedy hole as they began to scissor him open.

“More!” He cried out, moving his hip repeatedly on the finger stretching open.

The bed shifted as his Master moved behind him, sitting up but not letting the fingers Inside him slide out, instead adding a third one, making him clutch down. Soon enough the fingers were leaving his insides, leaving him gaping open, hole clutching at air, desperate for more. He heard a low growl as something bigger than a finger teased his opening.

He couldn’t help but push back, pulling his Master’s tip inside. He groan a little in pain. His Master was bigger than expected, making his inside feel stretched just from the tip. With trembling legs, he pushed back as his Master thrust toward, making him take all of him in one thrust. He screamed in pain as his hole was forced open by the cock inside him.

Julian whimpered in pain, trying to pull his hips away, but being stop by the arms that had wrapped themselves around his chest. He could feel his Master pulsing inside him, hard flesh splitting him open, making him feel full. It felt like if he moved so much as an inch he would be ripped apart. It was the best feeling in the world. He grinned secretly as his Master held still, granting him a little peace before the oncoming storm he knew was in its way.

He sighed once he got used to his Master’s cock, moving his hips to test out the flesh inside him, ripping him apart. His Master didn’t wait after that, moving slowly out, dragging deliciously inside him, causing him to moan when he pushed back inside. So far his Master had remained silent throughout the whole ordeal, only letting out an occasionally growl. But now he was drooling on his neck, growling repeatedly as he thrust inside him. The pain, soon turned into pleasure, allowing him to move back into each thrust his Master dealt.

After that his Master started a hard pace, thrusting rapidly into him, making him cry out loudly. If it weren’t for the arms holding him tightly he would be sliding up the bed with each hard thrust. Tears trailed down face, knees shaking with pleasure as his Master bit down hard in his shoulder, blood spilling down his body. With a harsh growl, he was pulled up right, back flushed against his Master’s chest, which felt smooth and cool to the touched.

When did he have time to take off his clothes? His pleasure weak mind wondered before scumming back into pleasure. The only thoughts allowed in his mind were the sounds of skin slapping against skin, the way his Master growled before biting down on another part of his shoulders, his own voice as it shook with each thrust, that hit his prostate. He wanted to remember this moment. He wanted to remember how it felt to be taken by his Master.

Julian yelped when he was pushed down again, hands barely catching him before he was maneuvered onto the bed with his ass up in the air, his Master not stopping his ruthless pace. At this angle, his Master was hitting his prostate repeatedly, making him yell out in pleasure, voice going hoarse from screaming.

He faintly heard a giggle.

“Do you want to cum?” Growled a voice besides his ear. He shivered, feeling a tongue lick the shell of his ear.

He nodded enthusiastically, unable to answer properly. He was too far gone to even from coherent sentences, much less words.

“Answer me, properly,” his Master hissed, tugging harshly at his blonde hair.

He whined, forcing his voice to answer his Master. “Yes, I want to cum!”

“Beg.”

“Master,” he begged loudly, finding it in himself to force his voice out. Oh, what he would do to please his Master. “Please let me cum! Please. Master. Please!”

“Why should I let you,” his Master giggled.

“I’ve been good,” he cried out desperately. “I’ve been soooo good, to Master. I brought Master food. Master!”

He felt his Master giggled, which turned into a growl when he clench down on the thrusting cock inside him. “Who do you belong to?”

“You!”

“Are you mine?”

“Yes!”

Pennywise growled happily, thrusting harder into the tight heat of the little human.

Julian cried out as his Master sped up even more, thrusts becoming even harder, making his body jerk with each movement. “Yes, yes yes, yes!”

“Cum,” Pennywise growled. “Now!”

Julian came, screaming out his Master’s name, spilling down on the bed, body shaking and moaning loudly. He clenched down hard in his Master, making him growl, biting down hard in his neck, and thrusting hard one last time before filling his insides with warm liquid. The pleasure Julian felt was beyond anything he had ever felt in his life. He almost passed out from the intensity of it all. He could feel his Master throbbing inside himself, spilling his seed deep inside his most intimate place as his walls milked every last drop. He arched his back, pulling his Master as deep as he could as he spilled his reward inside his body. He moaned loudly as his Master tugged him by the hips back into his cock, forcing him to take all he offered.

He fell down on the bed, panting hard with his body worn out. Pennywise followed him down, lying heavily on his back, making Julian feel the hard thud of his heartbeat on his back. His mind slowly came to, body feeling every ache as he shifted underneath Pennywise. Pennywise growled lowly, letting go of his neck, before rolling off him, pulling his body along, not slipping out of his aching hole. He whined when Pennywise pulled him by the hips back onto his softening cock. He let out a soft mewl of protest before settling down and snuggling back against his Master, mind slowly drifting off as his Master hummed him to sleep. For the first time in the last month Julian was finally able to rest.

Pennywise licked at the mark he had place upon Its little human’s neck. It hummed softly as the little human fell deep into sleep. It tugged a cover over them, knowing the little human would get cold at night, before wrapping Its arm around the sleeping human and keeping guard. It knew it was all instinct, a residue of their mating, but It couldn’t help but guard the little human that It had just mated with. It was so used to running in instinct, the instinct to hunt, to feed, but this was all somewhat knew It. It hadn’t done this in a long time, it had been decades, centuries, since It had mated. It could hardly recall who it had been with, but nothing would ever make It forget the little human It held in Its arm. Such an unusual creature, the little human was. He brought out the hidden parts inside It. The parts It had buried long ago. Parts that It wished to remain buried.

For such a long time, It had been alone. Very alone, only depending on Itself to survive and no one else. The betrayal of being exiled into this pathetic rock had made It cold and cruel. It let Its darker instincts run wild, ignoring the little good It had inside Itself. It only consumed, consumed everything in sight, and let nothing ever get as closed as Its previous mate had. But this little human, this insignificant human, had gotten under Its skin, burring himself deep inside Its mind. It wished It could kill the human off, be done with it like It always thought, but It never carried out Its thoughts. Instead It let the human roam freely, never attacking the little human.

When It was being attacked by stupid kids, It had made sure to not harm the little human, pushing him out of the way before attacking the younger humans. It had almost died, before managing to escape down the pit and resting until Its body regenerated. Once It was out of the pit It had crawled to the little humans house, making sure the demon had not gotten him while It had been indisposed. It was surprised to find the little human cowering in a corner. The little human had always acted so strong and brave and to see him breaking down caused something inside It to shift and awaken. It had even held back Its urge to devour the little human, instead choosing to starve a little while longer to make sure the little human was okay.

Watching the little human bring back body after body trying to keep It alive had been heart warming. The little human could have finished It off, instead he chose to help out, feeding It when It couldn’t. The request to mate had thrown It off for a moment, before giving in and mating the little human. It hadn’t expected the mating to be that intense. The mating had blown It away, it had been better than causing fear, than eating flesh. For once in Its long miserable exile, It didn’t feel the intense need to consume everything around It. It felt calm and that scared It a little. To think a human could cause this feeling was… a scary. How ironic, the creature of fear incarnate was feeling fear over a little weak human.

It stared down at the sleeping human. Julian. The little human’s name was Julian. It felt like it should start remembering that name, because It felt like Julian was going to be around for quite some time.

  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, not good with smut just yet:0


	10. Interlude: More than Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Richie And Eddie Fluff before it gets crazy.
> 
> .
> 
> I thought of two Pennyiwse names. Penniel or Pennsley (has anyone used that before?). I’ll keep searching though. I kinda like Pennsley, but we’ll see. 
> 
> .
> 
> Happy Halloween Peeps.

“Will you shut up, Richie!” Eddie yelled, jerking up right from his place on the ground and screaming in frustration at the glasses wearing teen besides him, that for the past hour had been annoying him by singing in his different voices. At first it had been amusing to Eddie but after the fiftieth time it had become annoying as hell.

Richie glared back at the Eddie, slightly hurt by the other’s outburst. “Well, excuse me for trying to fucking cheer you up!”

Eddie sighed, falling back down on the soft grass. “I’m sorry, Richie, I’m just really stressed right now.”

“What stick crawled up your ass, Eds?” Richie joked, letting his earlier hurt go. He couldn’t stay mad for long when it came to Eddie. Eddie always held special place in Richie. Richie was sure that he liked Eddie more than just a friend, but was still too confused with his feelings to be upfront with the other. He didn’t know if the other liked him that way either, halting all thoughts of ever confessing to the smaller teenager.

“My mom,” Eddie sighed, rolling over to stare at Richie. He sighed again bring his bottom lip in worry. Ever since he called his mom out on her bullshit drugs he had been struggling at home to make peace with her. She had repeatedly told him it was for his own good, but her bullshit drugs had made his life hell. Every day he would have to keep tabs on which pill he took and what time he took them. His life was centered around her stupid drugs. He felt annoyed at having his life toyed with they way she did. She just wanted to control him and what better way than to act like he needed her constantly with fake drugs? He wished she had never done that, but she had always been paranoid after his father had left her. Now he understood why. She was a controlling freak!

Richie watched his friend sulked silently for a while before deciding to break him out his little flunk. He quickly moved to tickle the other boy.

“What the fuck?! Richie!”

“Take this.”

“Get off!”

Eddie soon found himself pinned under his best friend, laughing hard as the other tickled him. Richie laughed alongside his struggle. Richie continued to tickle him more, not letting him go as he held him down.

“Richie, stop it you jerk,” he gasped out in between laughs, his face becoming red from lack of air.

Richie stopped, laughing a little more at Eddie’s struggling form. After a few minutes of them trying to catch their breath from all the laughing Eddie sighed and found himself in a much more peaceful state of mind. Leave it to Richie to cheer him up. Eddie laid there for a second longer, trying to catch his breath, staring up at his friend. Richie had always taken good care of him since they had become close friends. He had always been the one to be there beside him when he had bad days.

Eddie couldn’t stop himself when he abruptly sat up, and kissed his friend on his lips. Richie’s eyes widen at the assault, jerking back in surprise.

Eddie seemed to realize what he had just done, and started to freak out. “Oh, my god, I’m sorry! I don’t know what came over me!”

He stood quickly, trying to make a quick getaway, only to be back on the ground by Richie. Richie, finally getting out of his state, grabbed Eddie tightly, stopping his escape.

“Eddie,” he choked out. He couldn’t believe his friend had kissed him. His best friend had kissed him. He thought Eddie would never return his affections but he had kissed him. And now he was freaking out on him.

“I’m sorry, Richie, I don’t know what came over me,” Eddie cried out, trying to tug his arm out of Richie’s grasp to get away. He needed to get away. If he didn’t he was going to break down crying in front of Richie.

“Eddie,” he said again, clearing his throat. “What…do you like me that way?”

Eddie felt tears build up in his eyes. He didn’t even know why he did that. Curse Julian for putting those stupid ideas in his head. Richie didn’t even like him that way and he had gone and fucked their friendship up because he had been stupid! How was he going to explain this to Richie? He wasn’t sure if he liked him or not or if it had been the stress from the last few weeks that has finally caught up to him. He could blame it on that and brush this whole thing off and pretend it had been a fluke

“I don’t know,” he whispered to Richie, hiding his face in his hands. He tried blocking out the imagine of a befuddled Richie. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Richie told him, pulling his hands down and looking him in the face. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay!” He cried out. “I fucked up our friendship now!”

“Eddie!” Richie yelled, trying to calm his friend who was slowly getting hysterical. “Eddie, it’s okay, calm down!”

“Don’t tell me to calm down!”

Slap. Eddie gasped, quickly raising his hand to his throbbing cheek. Richie had slapped him!

“Calm down, already!” Richie yelled at him in anger. Eddie nodded, staring at him with wide eyes. “Look, Eddie, I don’t like boys, never have really or think I will.”

Eddie looked down in disappointment. He knew it! He shouldn’t have kissed Richie. It had all been a terrible mistake. He should have kept those feelings bottled up and years from now comment on it as joke to the other. He was going to have to watch Richie date other people, other people that wasn’t him, but now he was going to tell him to stay away from him. He wanted to go home and cry his eyes out.

“But,” Richie continued. “I do like you, Eddie.”

“Of course you like me,” Eddie remarked sarcastically. He stared down at the ground fighting back tears. He couldn’t believe this was happening to him. “We’re friends.”

“No, you idiot, I like you more than a friend. I like you.”

“Oh,” Eddie said in a small voice before smiling brightly at Richie. “I like you too, you jerk.”

Richie smiled back at him, leaning closer before kissing him lightly on the lips. Eddie couldn’t help but grin back at Richie. Never in a millions years he would have thought that Ritchie would like him back. Richie had always joked about women, and made comments about the other sex, but never hinted at liking him more than a friend. He was very glad that he had come out to him. They would have spent many more years circling around each other.

Maybe this summer hadn’t been such a letdown after all.

 

****

 

“So are you two dating or not,” Richie asked Bill, who had been, for the past few minutes, been staring out the window of diner. Eddie huffed in annoying at being ignored by their taller friend. He had been hoping to have some time with Bill, but ended up staring at a mooning eyed Bill instead.

Bil hummed in answer, still staring out the window with dazed eyes. Eddie realized that he hadn’t been paying attention to word they had been discussing. He sighed in annoyance.

Richie and Eddie shared a look.

“Bill?”

“Huh, what?” Bill asked when Eddie reached across the table and shook him slightly trying to get his attention back to them.

“Have you been listening to us at all?” He asked Bill, who was finally looking at them and not out the window lost in his own thoughts.

Bill gave them a sheepish look. He rubbed the back of his and gave out a nervous laugh. “No, sorry.”

Richie rolled his eyes, pulling Eddie closed and muzzling his head. Ever since both of them had become more open about their feelings they had grown closer than before. They still acted like friends, but now they had make out sessions when they were alone together, just the two of them. They were also spending more time together than before, hanging out and going out on dates whenever they had the chance. It seemed so sudden to them, yet right.

“We asked if you were dating Beverly,” Eddie asked again for Richie, who seemed content on just hugging him closely.

Bill eyed his two friends, who had been more cuddly lately. He hadn’t pointed it out when he first saw them, but now that he was paying more attention to them he noticed how close they were. It was more than their usually behavior when they would throw insults back and forth. It was more of two people teasing each other.

“I should a-a-ask you the same q-q-question.”

Eddie blushed, avoiding Bill’s knowledgeable gaze. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed of Richie or anything, it was just that he wasn’t sure how to tell everyone. He knew they would find out eventually, Richie didn’t exactly hide his affections when he was around him, but still. He wasn’t sure how to come out and say it to his friends. They would understand, and accept them, but he was still unsure what to say.

“Yes,” Richie said for him. “Now, how about you and Bev? She moved not too long ago. Isn’t that kinda a major deal between you two?”

Eddie gave Richie a sidelong look. Also, didn’t Ben kiss her too? He wasn’t going to bring that up now, though. Bill and Bev seems to have a thing going on for them so he would leave those sort of things alone. He wasn’t going to be the one to tell his friend about it. He didn’t want to cause an upset between them all. It wasn’t his business what went on with them. He was, however, going to be their for them in case they needed him.

“It’s c-c-complicated,” Bill murmured at last, thinking back to his last interaction with Beverly.

“Hmm,” Richie hummed out. “Besides that, schools almost starting again. Want to hang out some more before we get stuck in that hell hole again?”

Eddie nodded, taking the chance to be closed to his boyfriend. Bill sighed, giving in to Richie’s offer.

“We should invite the others,” Eddie added when they had all gotten up and out of the Diner.

“Yeah, where have they been, anyways?” Richie asked.

“Mike has been h-h-helping his uncle. Stan has been a-a-avoiding me and Ben is at the l-l-library,” Bill said helpful.

“We should go find them!” Eddie exclaimed, tugging Richie along. Richie groan at the smaller teen before smiling and following him. Bill treaded slowly behind them. He couldn’t help but observe his two friends get along so well now that they were dating. Richie would stare at Eddie more often and smile at him when he got a little spastic about germs. He wished he and Bev could have had that, but she was long gone now away from Derry with her aunt.

“Have you t-t-two seen Julian?” Bill wondered as Richie complain to Eddie about his germ rants.

Eddie stopped babbling to his boyfriend. He frowned as he thought back to when he last saw the older teenager. He hadn’t seen him at all this past month. Every time he has tried to invite the other to hang out he would decline, always saying he had things to do or was busy. It was strange now that he thought about it. They hadn’t even worried about him being stuck down the the sewers for two whole days. What could have happened to him?

“Now that you mentioned it, I have seen him since we fought It,” Eddie told Bill.

Richie shrugged, still feeling a little jealous of the older teen. “I’m sure he’s fine. He’s older than us. Maybe he’s writing an essay or whatever older teenagers do before school.”

Eddie worried his lip, still concern about the older teenager. Maybe Richie was right. Julian was, after all, more mature and down to earth than all of them. He would see him later, he was sure. Right now, he just wanted to hang out with his boyfriend and his friends. Enjoy what little time he had left before school started.


	11. Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it bad that I write all these chapters the night before I post them? Maybe. 
> 
> .
> 
> I say I know where the plot it going but those are lies. 
> 
> .
> 
>  
> 
> Again, apologies for all the errors.

Julian woke up with his body aching all over, head pounding with a excruciating headache making itself known. He groan, rolling over and snuggling closer to the bulky covers beside him. The covers moved under his touch, shifting slightly away from his tired body. Julian squealed, jerking away from the moving covers, to find Pennywise glaring at him with his clown suit covered in dry blood.

“What the fuck!” He screamed scrambling away from the killer clown. Except his legs had got tangled up in the sheets and caused him to fall ungracefully to the ground with a loud thud. He groan in pain as his sore body hit the cold ground of his room, rolling on his side in pain.

Pennywise, who just stared down at Julian, rose from the bed following Julian’s movements as he watched him struggle. Julain tore at the sheets wrapped around him, trying to untangle himself out of the mess. Once he was out of the sheets he stood to face Pennywise. He glared back at the clown that was supposed to be dead, but somehow was sitting on his bed.

“Why are you alive? Why are you in my room?” He demanded, crossing his arms over his bare chest. Wait, bare chest? “Oh, god, I’m naked! Why am I naked?”

Pennywise stood suddenly, grabbing him and stopping his flailing body, before jerking him closer, eyes flaring in anger. “I grow bored of your games, little human.”

“My games?! What games? Did we…” he trailed off, shifting slightly in Pennywise’s hands and feeling a slight sting in his lower regions. His eyes widen in shock, suddenly coming to the horrible realization about what had occurred last night between him and the demonic being. He closed his eyes, suddenly wishing he hadn’t woken up at all to this horrible day, but no amount of wishing would make the reality of his situation any less real than it already was. This whole mess made him want to throw himself out window, ending the nightmare in one finale act of stupidity.

“If you’re asking if we mated last night, then yes,” Pennywise kindly told him with a sharp toothy grin.

Julain felt himself grow ill at the blunt words of Pennywise. Did he really indulge in such acts with the clown? With a horrible fashion sense, flesh eating, child killer, clown?

“No!”

“You asked for it,” Pennywise informed him with a glare. He let go of him and dusted off his suit, making all the blood on it disappear as if it hadn’t been there moments before. “Practically begged for it.”

“I don’t even remember anything!” He screeched in frustration. “How could it have been me when I don’t even remember giving consent to that sort of thing?!”

“I would be more concerned about all the people you killed last night to feed me,” the clown giggled, sitting down on the chair beside his window. He crossed a leg over his knee and began humming softly, grinning at a flailing Julian who was slowly becoming more hysterical by the second.

“I killed people?!”

“Yes, lots of people.”

Julian threw himself on the bed, cocooning himself in his sheets. He didn’t know which one was worse: sleeping with a demonic clown monster that was supposed to be dead or killing people for said demonic clown. Did it even count if he didn’t remember doing those things? He’d been getting those strange blackouts more often. They had always been there when he had been held captive by the demon, Abanus. Abanus who force him to shut his mind down, letting out his more primal instincts, telling him it made the little kid more fun to be around. It had always had him in hysterics after the fact, waking up not knowing what had occurred or what he had done would do that to a person, especially a little kid.

Those blackout had forced a part of him to come out, asking the good Julian had in him vanish like smoke. He always did terrible things when he wasn’t fully there. It was just another reminder that the demon had more control over him, that he could force Julian to do whatever he wished of him and he would have no other choice but to obey. He became a puppet to the demon, and he was sure that was exactly what he wanted. To have Julian as a little toy that only he had power to control. It felt sickening to imagine what the demon had done to him, made him do, when he couldn’t remember at all.

He hated those blackout and they only seem to happen again around the clown. The clown somehow managed to trigger them without his consent. But he really couldn’t put the entire blame on the clown, because what those blackout did was just increase a feeling or instinct he had inside him. Some part of him, as much as he revolted at the thought, wanted to be with Pennywise. It was a instinct, a need, that was increased and cause him to act on those feelings. He couldn’t remember what they did, but he knew some part of him wanted what they did.

“I think I’ll just lay here for the rest of my life and die,” he mumbled underneath the covers to the clown. If he stayed inside warm comfort of his sheets then he didn’t need to face the reality of his life. That reality being the clown sitting across from him. A clown who he had sex with. Oh, god, he had sex with a clown who he was sure wasn’t even human or remotely from earth. What has Pennywise called himself? A Celestial Being? Did that make him an alien? Did he have sex with an alien?

“Every human dies eventually,” Pennywise told him, cutting off his inner rant. Julian peeled back the sheets to stare in disbelief at the being across from him. “Who cares if they died a few years earlier.”

“They had families!” Julian glared across the room at the insensitive clown. He couldn’t believe the nerve of Pennywise.

“So?”

“Why am I even arguing with you?” Julian quickly stood on top of his bed, pointing an accusing finger at the clown who was just staring at him with the most bored expression on his face. He should’ve just told Pennywise to leave him the fuck alone when he had the chance. Now he was here trying to talk some morals to a killer clown. “You kill children for fun!”

“Right you are, Jules!” Pennywise giggled, not even stoping his laughter as Julian threw a pillow at him. He just let the pillow thud on his face as he continued to laugh, not even phase at all as it fell down on the ground.

“I’m going to hell.” Julian crouched down on the bed, pulling at his hair in frustration. He couldn’t hope to understand why this was happening to him. He tugged harder at his hair, hissing when the pain of pulling some out made him stop his tugging. How long until he lost his mind and ended up as a dull shell?

“What am I talking about,” he cried softly to himself, not caring at all about the looks he was receiving from Pennywise. “I’m already in hell.”

“And I thought I was the dramatic one,” Pennywise joked.

Julian shot the clown a glare, flopping down on the bed, not caring one but about the clown that was getting a good view of his backside, he continued to sulk in silence at his miserable life. Pennywise probably got a good view of it last night anyways. Nothing new to him. He hit the bed bellow him again, screaming out his frustration on the pillow, which helped to muffle the sound. Why did these sort of things always end up happening to him? Was he destined to be the universe’s fool?

He peeked up at Pennywise, who had been watching Julian the entire time with his piercing amber eyes. Pennywise’s eyes roamed his form as he stared back. He huffed in annoyance at the other’s stare. Pennywise, or whoever he really was, was so different from the creepy clown he showed around Eddie and his friends. When he was around them, Julian noticed, he acted more deranged, more clown like, but when he was around Julian he acted more intelligent, less ‘fun time clown time’ and more ‘Celestial Entity born before humanity’ like. Was this the real Pennywise? Did Pennywise have a real name or was his name none existent? Was there an actual gender to him?

He blanched at the thought of Pennywise being female and yet penetrating him instead of the other way around. Not that he swung that way in the first place. It just made his head hurt more at all the unanswered, and never will be answered, questions. The mystery that surrounded Pennywise the Dancing Clown continued.

“You’re not going to say anything?” He asked Pennywise at last, trying to get some sort of reaction from him.

Pennywise blinked in confusion. “Say anything. What is there anything to say about?”

“Demonic creepy clown. Why do I indulge in their …. unknowingness about humanity?” Julian grumbled lowly to himself, glaring at the clown who was blinking in confusion.

“I can hear you.” Pennywise growled back at the insult.

“Okay,” he sat up on the edge of the bed. He had finally made a decision. He hoped he didn’t come to regret it, but knowing who he was, and who Julian would be agreeing to work with, he would. “I did you a favor, bringing you food, killing people, yadiyadiyada, so now you have to return that favor.”

“I don’t do favors.”

“Too bad,” Julian snapped back at him. “I helped you, you help me. And then we part ways and forget we ever crossed each other’s path. You go back to scarring little kids, rather horriblyI might add, I go back to living a normal life. Or as normal as I will ever get to know.”

Pennywise stood up, yellow eyes glowing in anger, before manhandling Julian, bringing him closer to his snarling face. Julian blinked in surprise. How did Pennywise manage to get so close to him that quickly? He was across the room one moment and next in front of Julian.

"I’m older than your pathetic universe. I’m an old powerful being, you stupid ape. I have immense power beyond what your little mind could possibly hope to understand. What makes you think I would ever help you.”

“I helped you!” he spat back. “I helped you when a bunch of little kids beat you up with baseball bats! Where was your power then? I could have let you die, but no, I helped you. So now you help me.”

Pennywise growled, releasing Julian and throwing him down on the floor. His body started shifting, clown costume melting into a plain white simple clothing, similar to what Julian wore back in the convent and his face rid itself of the ridiculous clown makeup, but some traces of the red line on his face still were faintly visible***, almost like he couldn’t quite rid himself of who he truly was underneath, to show a freckled face ginger with a mop of unnatural album red hair with burning amber yellow eyes. If this was what Pennywise looked like as a human he rather have him all clowned up. As strange as that was. Human Pennywise wasn’t really…Pennywise.

Before Julian could comment on the appearance, Dave opened the door and walked in, stopping as he caught sight of the scene before him. Julian felt his face flush red in embarrassment as he realized he was still naked and sprawled on the floor in front of Pennywise. He could only guess what was going through Dave’s mind as he caught his ward naked on the floor while some random guy stood before them staring intently at them.

“Julian, you have ten seconds to explain to me what the hell is going on,” Dave said through clenched teeth. His face slowly getting red the longer he stared at a shock and mortified Julian.

“It’s not what you think!” Julian cried, standing up and covering his naked body with his bedsheets. He cursed his luck. Oh, sure, he could face evil demonic beings all the time, even sleep with them if the occasion arouse, but god forbid he still had to deal with the perils of teenage drama. Like getting caught with his metaphorical hand down the cook jar, in this case, the metaphorical hand being his own body naked before a guy.

Dave crossed him arms and glared at the sputtering teen. “Nine.”

“Okay, it’s exactly what you think, but still!” He confessed, finally admitting he had slept with Pennywise to not only himself but to Dave as well. Not the way he wanted to come to terms with the matter but he didn’t really have a choice at the moment. The sooner he accepted the fact that he and Pennywise had, ugh, mated the sooner he could move on. “I’m basically an adult!”

“You just got out of a convent not too long ago! How do you even end up having sex? Much less gay sex when you’ve been surrounded by women for years?”

“Uh,” Julian winced. He really didn’t have anything to say to justify this whole mess. At least Pennywise had been wise enough to change into human appearance. Except he still looked creepy with his yellow eyes and unnaturally red hair. Not to mention the lanky six foot height he had. He looked so weird as a human to Julian since he knew what he really, not that it was his real form, looked like.

He found himself staring at human Pennywise, still a little freaked out about how unreal he looked to him. Pennywise raised an album red eyebrow at him, sending him a mocking grin, showing him a row of perfectly white human teeth. That just wasn’t right at all.

“Eight.” Dave didn’t miss the look the two boys have each other. He didn’t like the way the red haired boy looked at Julian. Whoever he was, no other person, especially a boy, should give another person such a possessive look. He looked ready to devour Julian. Dave decided, rather with a lot of unnatural prejudice, that he didn’t like the red headed boy. There was something off about him, he wasn’t sure what it was exactly.

“Okay, Okay, so maybe I’m into guys. I was never religious to begin with!” He told Dave, also not something he wanted to admit just yet. Julian always, since he had been little, liked boys. He was often mocked or sometimes told bluntly from adults when he was little how cute of a girl he would make. He didn’t want to say it was their opinion that changed his views, but they did push him a little towards more feminine things. He eventually found himself crushing on boys his age or sometimes even their older brothers. Julian put more thought on the way he dressed than the boys his age and sometimes he would skip playing rough to sit and admire other boys. It wasn’t something he thought about as wrong, or weird it was just who he was. This was Julian, he liked guys and there was nothing wrong with that, but sometimes the world liked to remind him how different he truly was. It honestly hurt, at times when his guard was down, but he was slowly coming to accept those things as something he would have to fight against. As long as he accept who he was he would be okay. The rest of the world could wait.

Julian shook himself out of his little self acceptance thoughts. Now was not the time to be thinking snot those things. He had a very angry adult in front of him that looked ready to throw him and Pennywise out the window.

“Dave, what’s with all the shouting,” Beth asked walking in and catching sight of Julian. “Dear, lord! Julian!”

Julian groan, realizing yet again that he was naked. He quickly got behind Pennywise, hiding his naked body from the two adults now in front of him. “Just kill me, please.”

Julain felt Pennywise’s body shake with contain laughter. He glowered at the clown’s back. He didn’t find this situation funny at all, but it seemed that he did.

“Who are you, exactly?” Dave demanded of the red head, feeling more irritated now that he was shaking with laughter. The red head smiled widely. Dave shuddered. That smile was not normal at all.

“Why, I’m Pen—”

“This is Pennsley!” Julian interrupted Pennywise. He just knew what the clown was dying to sprout out to Dave and Beth. The same old little phrase he said to him the first time they came across each other. “Pennsley Wise!”

Pennywise grumbled at the ridiculous name the little human had dubbed It. It didn’t have an original name, but It certainly didn’t want to be called Pennsley by the two adult humans in front of him. It very much liked the name Pennywise.

“Pennsley, what an odd name,” Beth murmured to Dave. Dave couldn’t agree more. The red head, Pennsley, was grumbling lowly at Julian, eyes seemingly cold as he stared at Dave and Beth. “Are you a friend of Julian’s?”

“I would hardly call us friends,” Pennywise snapped at the older human, wishing it could kill them off. They were more annoying than It would have liked. It wasn’t so used to talking to older humans. It only had to deal with little scatter brain humans who always fell so easy into Its traps. Older humans were hard to deal with and annoying.

“What are you guys doing barging into my room in the first place?” Julian demanded from behind Pennywise, who was subtlety growling in discontent at the adults before them. Julian gave Pennywise a pinch in the back, silently earning him to stop his growling. He didn’t want Beth and Dave to discover the truth behind Pennsley.

“Well, before coming in here and discovering this… mess, we were planning on telling you we’ll be gone for a few days down south while we put together some somethings. We know your little problem is still out there. So we came to advice you before we left to not go outside of the house. At all.”

“Uh Huh, got, don’t leave, stay out. Allergies and everything until talking my medicine which you’re both getting down south,” he joked at them, knowing Pennywise was having a fit being around the older couple. Beth gave them a disturbed glance before promptly dragging Dave out the room and shutting the door behind them. Guess they didn’t want to see two guys going at it. They were servants of the church and what not.

Julian stood awkwardly behind Pennywise as he listened to Beth and Dave move around the house before leaving and hearing the sound of the car growing faint in the distance as they drove away. He could only guess that they were going off to talk to the Church and get their next target. The reason for leaving him alone was odd, however. They always had him close by but he guess now that they thought Pennywise, the reason they came to Derry in the first place, was gone they didn’t feel the need to have an eye on him all the time. How inconsiderate of them since the demon still after him was out and about waiting fo him.

“Pennsley Wise?” Pennywise question with disgust obvious in his voice, turning around to face Julian. Julian blinked. He had forgotten for a moment that Pennywise was still in the room.

“It’s the first thing that popped up in my mind!” Julian defended, glaring at Pennywise, who was still in his human form. Which he still found rather creepy. More creepy than his clown form. “It was either that or Penniel or Penny!”

“Those are still stupid names as well,” Pennywise told him, shifting back to his clown person, cracking his back as if it had been uncomfortable to him to be disguised as a human. Probably was, considering he ate their children. Pennywise probably detested human and found them to be more like cattle, something he ate, than something he considered as an equal.

“Do you even have a name?” He questioned the demonic clown. “Pennywise is not a real name.”

Pennywise shrugged. Julian felt frustrated at the shrugged answer. Pennywise never answered when he was asked a question. It was rather annoying to Julian.

“If I did once I have forgotten. I don’t need a name.”

“Who is Pennywise anyways?”

He got a strange look from the other. Pennywise got a vacant expression, staring ahead of himself as if his mind became trapped in the some distant memory only he could see. A few seconds later Pennywise came back to focus and giggled.

“A name or a past victim, someone who was very enjoyable to eat and devour,” he informed Julian, grinning widely and eyes glowing.

“Okay, so I’m just going to put some clothes on, then we’re going to have a very serious much needed conversation. Stay put.” With that he hurried to his closet, pulling on some underwear and jeans with a pain long sleeve T-shirt. He tugged everything on quickly, still feeling the lingering eyes of Pennywise behind him watching him as he dressed. Once he wasn’t so exposed, he turned back to face the clown, who had moved back to the chair and was staring at him with once of his vacant looks.

“I know you have this while clown persona going on, but I really think you still need to work on it.” He sat down on the bed, eyeing the other snap back into reality.

“I’m great at luring children.”

“Uh, no, you really aren’t,” he broke to the clown. “You have these moments where that mask breaks through. Really creepy. You’re lucky children are not so oblivious to those sort of things or else you would have starved a long time ago.”

Pennywise stayed silent, watching him with his yellow eyes. Julian couldn’t help the shiver that escaped. Was that the expression Pennywise had given him last night? That expression spoke of wanting to devour him slowly. It thrilled and freaked him out.

“You need to help me kill Abanus,” he told the clown. “And then we’ll just part ways, like I said, and continue on ignoring each other.”

Pennywise gave him a vicious snarl, eyes glowing yellow and teeth sharpening into little needles. “Little human, you forget who you speak to. I am not some service you can call upon.”

“What do you propose then? That I kill for you? I already saved you!” He snapped at the menacing clown. “Now it’s your turn to help me!”

“What would helping you do for me,” Pennywise asked.

“I did you a favor!”

“And I returned it!” Pennywise growled. “I mated you, like you wanted it! You were begging for it, practically throwing yourself at me like some sort of animal in heat!”

“I’m not an animal!” Julain screamed. He stood, jaw clenched, ready to punch the infuriating clown in the face for calling him some sort of…bitch in heat. He wasn’t! He was human and humans thought before their more primal instincts like mating and such. He wasn’t going to let some demonic Celestial alien clown insult him.   
He grind his teeth, fighting back the roaring arouse he was starting to feel amongst the boiling anger. There it was, that part of him that was always salivating with desire at the thought of being dominated by a being more powerful than him. It was like a part of him that was acting out in front of Pennywise hoping to be punished for breaking some sort of secret rule he didn’t know, but should know. He could feel his muscles tensing and his blood rushing at the thoughts of Pennywise pushing him down on the ground and having his way with him. He craved that, being dominated and shown who was in control.

It wasn’t like when he was with Abanus, which was forced on to him. He didn’t crave it like when he was with Pennywise. With Abanus it felt like his body was being forced to like what he was going though, but a part of him liked it, just not the way Abanus was going it. With Pennywise, who seemed so oblivious to the type of control he had over Julian, he melted like butter and wanted to do every little thing he said to him. He never thought he was have a Dom/Sub sort of kink, in reality he didn’t label it that way. It was more like how his mind saw himself against a being with unholy power. He just became a weak trembling messing that craved their touch.

Gods, maybe he was some sort of bitch in heat when it came to Pennywise, because at the moment he was fighting the need to present himself like one. His limbs started to shake and his heart raced more at the angered look Pennywise was shooting his way. He had a very serious problem.

Pennywise’s nose crinkled, inhaling the deep aroma of cotton candy and salted caramel apples that was emitting from the human. It growled, remembering the same aroma from when It and the little human mated. It growled lowly, suddenly at attention at the smell.

“Not an animal,” It growled, stalking up to the slightly trembling human, bending down from his unnatural height to stare deep into Julian’s eyes. “Then why do you smell so desperate to be filled again?”

Julain flinched, trying to find the will to back away from Pennywise, but not finding any inside himself. Instead he found himself gravitating towards Pennywise, drifting towards him like the sea to the moon. Soon he was pressed up against Pennywise, this time with mind intact, and donging consciously. Pennywise didn’t object, just stared down at him with bruins amber eyes, watching his every move.

“I can’t help it,” he admitted softly, unable to take his eyes from Pennywise. “I just _can’t_.”

Pennywise didn’t say anything, just smirked down at Julian. His cruel eyes never leaving Julian’s slowly changing blue to amber ones. Julian shuddered, feeling the urge to submit to the demonic clown. Is this why he felt every time he blacks out around the clown? A strange urge to just lay down and be ravished? He found himself not minding at.

He took in Pennywise’s gloved hand as it moved towards his face, hissing when a clowned finger drew a sharp line down from the apple of his cheek to the corner of his lip. Blood dripped slowly from down to his lips, gathering and slipping down his chin. Julian felt his eyes hood in arousal, the pain only intensifying his emotions. Pennywise lean in closed, licking slowly at the blood gathered on his lips.

“My point still stands,” Pennywise whispered to him, grinning as his eyes began to give out their unnatural glow. The Deadlights, he recalled them being called as he stared deeply into the glowing eyes. Was that Pennywise? Was that who he really was? An unnatural being only composed of energy so strong it drove human minds mad?

Julian scrunched up his nose, trying to recall what they had been talking about earlier but unable to when Pennywise continued to lick at the thin cut line of blood he caused. He shivered, distracted by the sensation of having Pennywise so close to him. His eyes captivated by the glowing eyes that gave a sad imitation of what truly hid behind Pennywise’s physical body.

“What good to me is a mindless little human who can’t even remember asking to be mated?” Pennywise growled, jerking back anyway from Julian causing him to whine in protest. “Ask for help elsewhere.”

Julain, still very heavily under the influence of his desires, was slow to react as Pennywise made to leave. When his mind caught up to what he had said, he jerked into action, grabbing hold of Pennywise’s arm.

“Please,” he pleaded desperately. “You have to help me. I don’t know if I can take any more of this.”

Pennywise stared at him, not moving or saying anything.

“I don’t think you understand what exactly you’re asking for, little human,” Pennywise finally said. “

“I’ll do anything, just please help me.”

It considered Its options. It didn’t owe the little human anything, maybe It did after he helped It recover, but It would have recovered on Its on, just the time to recover would have been longer. It could always take the little human afterwards and eat him. It took in the wide pleading eyes of the little human in front of him.

“Very well,” Pennywise said at last. “I will help, but afterwards you shall be indebted to me. Whatever I ask, you shall give to me.”

“How do I know you won’t eat me afterwards,” Julian demanded, not liking the terms Pennywise was setting for him. Pennywise could easily help him get rid of Abanus then eat him afterwards. He was going to jump into any sort of deal with the clown just yet. He needed to know the clown would help him and not kill him after helping him.

“You’ll just have to wait and see,” Pennywise giggled, ruffling the blonde’s hair. “Now, terms and conditions.”

“Terms and conditions? Shouldn’t I be setting those up?”

Julian should be the one to tell the clown what he should and shouldn’t be allowed to do. Like perhaps not eat him or kill him. He was taking a big gamble at the moment getting Pennywise to help him. Pennywise wasn’t like Abanus at all. Where Abanus had a more better understanding of how humanity worked, Pennywise was more of an unpredictable character–creature. He could, just a little, predict what Abanus was thinking, having been imprisoned with him so long helped him do that. Abanus was cruel, yes, but he had a way of working and thinking. Abanus didn’t play with his food like Pennywise did. Once he wanted something he would go for it head on. Pennywise, on the other hand, would taunt his prey, making them more frighten and scared. Abanus weakened your resolved for a purpose, Pennywise scared the daylights out of you while laughing silently enjoying every second of it.

_At least_ , he thought bitterly, _one just ate you while the other one made you a let._

“Shh,” Pennywise laid a gloved finger on his lips, making him glare at the clown. “I just ask three things from you, little human.”

“I’m listening.” He really was. He didn’t want to end up agreeing to let the clown eat him after everything was said and done. Pennywise could paint this sweet picture of freedom and then take it away from him. He knew Pennywise only craved human fear and flesh. Everything else was just an act to get victims to trust him.

“First thing, don’t ask about me. I’m helping you but I’m not your friend.”

“Got it, not my my friend,” he mocked. Not once did he think Pennywise was ever his friend. He would have to be insane, which he was not yet, to think Pennywise would ever be anyone’s friend. “Never be friends with a killer clown monster.”

“Don’t question me on what I do.” Julian managed to earn a growl from Pennywise, sharp little needle teeth bared at him in annoyance.

Julain couldn’t help but confide to mock Pennywise. He knew he was poking at the sleeping bear (killer clown), but it was just so easy for him to slip back and let his nervous humor out. He tended to do that, he discover, when he was out in a tight situation. Probably not the brightest idea to do at the moment, considering Pennywise was so unpredictable and just itching to kill him.

“Wouldn’t want to insult the delicate artist at work,” he said, wincing internally as another joke escaped his mouth. He needed to stop.

“Third, no more of this mating thing. It was a one time thing.”

“That I agree on a hundred percent,” Julian nodded, he didn’t want to have sex with the clown anymore. He needed to get his brain under control and not let those darker desires out when he was around Pennywise. Those desires to be dominated by a killer needed to be thrown out the window and forgotten.

_Easier said then done_ , he thought, shifting awkwardly as he felt a thrill of being told what to do shoot through him. So it was going to be a lot harder than he thought to tuck in those feelings around Pennywise. It’s not like Pennywise could read his mind. Wait…can he?

He shook his head, ridding himself of those thoughts and continuing with the discussion at hand. He could worry about what powers Pennywise had later. “Okay, so how exactly are you going to help me?”

“I’m still weak,” Pennywise informed him dully. “I need to feed more and gather more children for when I take my long rest. Until then, you will be helping me occasionally.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

“You didn’t have a choice. You want my help, you do what I say. Keep those pesky kids off my back while I feed,” Pennywise snapped back at Julian. Julian wanted to snap back at the clown, but held it in knowing he needed his help. It wouldn’t be right to anger the person—thing?—helping him.

“I always wanted to be a personal monkey for a killer clown,” Julian joked bitterly. Let’s face it, he was going to be a little servant for the clown. Pennywise already called him little human and that was when they weren’t in some form of agreement. Now he really was under the clown’s control. “So help you by keeping my friends away from you?”

Pennywise hum, nodding at Julian. If anything Julian was going to start teaching Pennywise a little bit about humanity. Like how to answer another person’s question properly. He was growing tired of Pennywise brushing off his questions with sounds and grunts. Pennywise had been on earth for a long time, or so he said, but he didn’t act or know a lick about how human worked. Maybe if Julian helped him understand humans better he could change his diet? Julian bit back a laugh. Yeah, right, and maybe one day pigs will fly.

“I’m already regretting this,” he muttered at the glare he was receiving from Pennywise. Why was Pennywise always glaring at him? And why did he enjoy being glared at by Pennywise?

“You’re bipolar, little human,” Pennywise informed, eyes flashing brightly before settling down. He continued his glare, and Julian continued to repress the need to throw himself at the clown.

“What do you mean?” He asked instead of giving in to his desires. Who knew how Pennywise would react. Probably throw him down a well and be done with him. He wasn’t subtle about his dislike of julain or humans in general.

“Your emotions are everywhere. Control that. I don’t need an emotional little human following me around.”

“Very well, your highness. I’ll try to reign in my humanity,” Julian rolled his eyes at the glaring clown. “What the first thing we’re doing, then?”

Pennywise grin. Julain didn’t like that look. He back away a little at the malicious grin Pennywise was giving him. He knew enough now to know that the little grin Pennywise was giving him meant something bad was going to happen.

“Tie up some loose ends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** I’m assuming we have all seen the movie at this point so this is a reference to when It changed into Beverly's dad the end fight scene and you could still see little lines of his face.


	12. Floating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was almost late since I have been plagued with horrible headaches the entire week, but today was a headache free day and I managed to finish the chapter just in time. 
> 
> .
> 
> Also warning for some tentacle sex...? If that’s not your thing sorry ^___^ it just kinda rolled into it. There wasn’t supposed to be any smut in this chapter but the situation called for it...? *side look* kinda. (0 \\\\\\\ 0)
> 
> .
> 
> Again, sorry for the mistakes that have plagued my chapter and shall continue to be the bane of them. ^~~^

  
“Ah, fuck, shit,” screamed Julian as he fell down into the dirty water of the sewers hidden below Derry. He didn’t know what he had tripped on, only that his hands were now deep into waste water and the mucky feeling was definitely not mud. He groan when his backside also complain at every movement he made. He was not having sex anymore with clowns who didn’t have normal penises. It felt like he had stuffed a big and thick dildo up his ass with little to no preparation. And he should know since Abanus made him do all sorts of crazy things when he was captured.

Pennywise, who had managed to somehow stay squeaky clean and still sneak around without making too much noise, shot him a glare from in front of him. He stared down at Julian, watching him as he whined and complained about the dirty water that had gotten all over him. This was the last time he was following anyone down a sewer. What was up with people and sewers? Why couldn’t they walk into a nice creepy forest for once?

“When you said tie up loose ends, I thought you meant we were going to go off and kill some people and not this,” he said, getting up as quickly as his sore body would allow him. He shifted slightly, still feeling the sting from the night before deep in his body. He felt his mood drop even more as he recalled why he was feeling that way in the first place. What had been the point of getting down and freaky if he couldn’t even remember doing so. He shook his head as quickly as those thoughts arose. No, he didn’t even want to remember getting down and freaky with a clown. Did Pennywise even had a normal human dick? Now he was scowling as he stared at Pennywise up and down.

“I’ve seen kids walk better than you.” Pennywise gave him another glare when Julian grabbed his arm to pull himself up, getting his clean suit dirty. He jerked his arm away and pushed Julian off, causing him to stumble back down into the water. Julian stared up at the clown in disbelief.

“Hey, you jerk!” His sore behind protested at being thrown back harshly. He winced up at Pennywise, who should him no mercy at the pout shot his way.

“Don’t touch me, you filthy human,” he growled down at Julian.

Julian gasped at the insult, glaring up at Pennywise as he stood over him. “Such mean words when you stuck your clown dick up my ass!”

Pennywise just glared back before he bared his sharp teeth at him and continuing on down the tunnel, leaving Julian behind to splutter insults at his back. Julian got up again, gagging at the thought of shit and piss all over his once clean clothes. He flung some dirt, he really hoped it was dirt, off his shirt before following behind Pennywise. Julian in made a face at Pennywise, wanting to kick the clown for dragging him down into the tunnels. He didn’t know why Pennywise needed to move through the tunnels when he could easily move up on the surface of Derry. He didn’t pay attention to Julian when he had complained the entire time they had treaded through the sewers. He had only thrown a flashlight at Julian and made him follow him through the tunnels.

“Pennsley–“

“Don’t call me that!”

“I know you told me or to question you,” he continued, ignoring the flashing yellow eyes of his companion. Pennywise had been flashing those yellow eyes the entire trip, slowly growing more and more irritated at Julian’s complaining. “But as much as I love following a killer clown down into the sewers for no apparent reason what so ever, can you please tell me what we’re doing down here?”

“I told you not to question me,” Pennywise growled, ignoring the little human tugging at Its arm. It knocked away the little human’s small hands, wishing for nothing more for the human to vanish. The little thing had been complaining the whole time, causing It to slowly lose control of Its anger. One more comment and It felt like It would snap.

“But Pennsley,” Julian whined, smirking at the clown who was slowly losing his temper. Julian really should stop poking bears in their sleep. He knew he was seconds away from being thrown down a sewer. He just couldn’t help himself when the clown made it so easy to rile him up. “I’m so wet.”

Pennywise stopped and turn to glare at Julian. His eyes were glowing a dangerous yellow in anger towards Julian’s playful blue-amber ones. He knew Pennywise wouldn’t attack him, not when he had made Julian a promise of not kill him, but he could always hurt him a little to get his point across. Julian almost craved that pain he knew Pennywise would inflict if he caused him to lose his temper. He knew it shouldn’t thrill him as much as it should, but once the thought of it was in his head he couldn’t let it go.

“I am seconds away from getting rid of you, little Jules,” It growled lowly to the little human smirking at him. It could feel his anger rising as the human kept on tugging on It. The little human smirked, almost enticing It to hurt him. It couldn’t help but feel like the little human was doing it on purpose. “And I made it clear for you not to call me that ridiculous name.”

“I wouldn’t be acting this way if you would just please tell me what we’re doing down here in the sewers. I’m wet, dirty and really tired right now,” Julian complained, leaning heavily on the clown beside him. Pennywise didn’t push him away as he rubbed on him like a cat. He took it as a small victory. “And my ass really hurts right now. Clown dick is no joke.”

“Sometimes I really want to devour you,” Pennywise growled, trying to pushing the little human away again, but It couldn’t help it when It lean into the human as he rubbed on him, enticing the clown in other ways. The little human was treading on dangerous ground trying to entice It to mate with him again. It could feel the need radiating off the human in waves, but had ignore the urge to fall under the human’s pheromones as they rose. It wasn’t sure if the little human was doing that on purpose or if it was all subconscious.

“Pennsley,” Julian in whined again, causing pennywise to raise his now clawed hands at Julian. “My ass hurts.”

Pennywise’s eye twitched ignoring the little human as It continued to its desired location. It brushed the little humans hands off as he whined. It came upon some stairs that lead up to Its desired location and turn to give the complaining little human one last look. It needed the human to stay down while It visited a little side project of Its. This would prove that the little human would listen to Its orders.

“Be a good little pet and stay here.”

“What did you call me?” Julian yelled back at the disappearing clown who was already giggling up and out of sight through the vent looking entrance. Julian couldn’t help but feel anger at being ignored by Pennywise. Okay, so maybe trying to irritate the clown hadn’t been a good idea, but it wasn’t his fault really. His body had taken over and he had been more difficult towards the clown. He sighed, frowning at being called “pet” by Pennywise. There had been another that had been fond of calling him by that name once. It was best not to think of him now. Not while he was in a creepy tunnel all alone.

  
Julian stayed glaring up for a good while before he decided to sit down and rest his sore body. He didn’t have to stay standing and staring up waiting for Pennywise to come back down for him. He tried to ignore the wet seeping through his clothes as he sat down. It couldn’t be help since all around him was wet from the water. He would have to endure it for a little bit.

Once sitting, his mind wondered off to what Pennywise could possibly be up to. He didn’t know what Pennywise was up to, he didn’t care really, but did he have to bring Julian along? He was tired, sore, and dirty and just wanted some rest. He hissed as he shifted on the stone ground, trying to fine a relatively comfortable place on the hard surface, his body protesting again every move he made. He let out a long sigh, resting his head back against the wall, and closing his eyes.

Five months ago, he would have found himself picking berries, in the library or the Convent, and occasionally praying to some higher being for salvation. Now he was here, down in the vast sewers system of Derry, tired, sore and a little hungry. He should also take into account that he was now the sidekick of an evil demonic alien clown loving monster from another universe. He chuckled at the thought. Should he get a costume and everything? He really couldn’t blame anyone but himself for being stuck in a situation where he needed the help of a demonic clown entity.

He glanced back up at where Pennywise disappeared off to. He was probably up there causing mayhem and giggling the entire time. Pennywise seemed to enjoy doing that a lot. Julian could still remember Eddie’s friends being scared at a clown haunting them at every turn. They had said it unnatural how Pennywise knew each individual fear of theirs, but Julian could assume by the way Pennywise work that he had some sort of telepathic power that allowed him to look into his victims minds and discover their dead. It wouldn’t surprise him if he did.

Julian scrunched up his nose, closing his eyes again as his mind drifted off again to Pennywise. Ever since waking up to Pennywise his mind had been circling around him. He couldn’t stop thinking about him and maybe that was why he had followed him down into the sewers. He grumbled at his situation again. He was down here because of his stupid need to be close to Pennywise and now he was regretting that decision. This day was just looking out to be one of the worst days of his life.

“ _Julian_.”

Julian’s eyes snapped open at the sound of his name. With a frown, he glanced around the tunnel, flashing his light down each side. He pointed the flashlight up to see if Pennywise had been the one to call his name. Not seeing him, he stood and pointed the light once again down each tunnel. Had he imagined his names being called? Maybe he was more tired than he originally thought to have imagined his names being called. He was alone down here in the tunnel. At least he hoped he was.

“Pennsley?” He called out, hearing his own voice echo back to him. He shook his head, realizing it just have been his imagination playing tricks on him. He need more rest if his mind had decided to start playing with him.

“ _Julian_ ,” came another hiss again, louder than the previous sound, almost as if it were getting closer to him.

Julian jerked at the sound, heart speeding up in his chest as he quickly flashed the light up down the tunnels, trying to see what it could be. It wasn’t good for him that he was down here alone and tired to fight off whatever ticks were being played. Pennywise could have come back to after finishing whatever he was doing to mess with Julian. He had been a little more irritating than usual towards him.

“That’s not funny, Pennsley,” he voiced out, glaring at the shadows of each tunnel. If he was playing tricks on him then it was definitely working. He was in a tired state of mind and he easily succumbed to fear as the suspense rose.

He jumped when he heard something splash into the water behind him, the sound of a coin falling down into a well resonating through the tunnels. He turned around to light the water, watching it ripple. His reflection stared back at him, eyes wide as he realize something was definitely down in the tunnels with him.

“Pennsley,” Julian snapped out angrily. He didn’t find it amusing that Pennywise had decide to play around with him. If this was his way to get payback than julain was never going to anger the clown again. He didn’t like it. “Is this payback for harassing you?”

Splash. Splash.

He spun around, light illuminating the darkness as he walked forward towards where he heard the sound. He scowled when he didn’t see anything.

“Okay, cut it out,” he voiced out, fear making his voice tremble a little. He swallowed the fear down as he moved forward at see if could catch Pennywise. “Real funny, haha, I learned my lesson.”

“ _Did you_?”

Julian froze at the deep voice inches behind him, warm breath ruffling the soft fine hairs of his neck. He shivered as he recognized the voice. Was this Pennywise or was it someone else? He really hoped it was Pennywise, because the reality of it being who he thought it was was not good.

“ _Have you_ ,” the voice hissed again.

Julian felt all the hairs in his body stand on point as the voice behind him begin humming softly, a tune he was familiar with and had lured him to sleep on the nights where his guilt had kept him awake. He knew only one other person who knew that tune.  
  
He closed his eyes tightly, trying to block out the memories threatening to resurface as the tune continued. With a trembling hand, he spun around finding the tunnel empty of anyone. It still wasn’t a good sign. He knew what came after if he didn’t leave the tunnels immediately. He scrambled up against the stairs Pennywise took earlier, leaving him alone down in the tunnels. He wished Pennywise had allowed him to follow him up. He didn’t like his the shadows of the tunnels danced around, appearing more alive than they should be allowed to.

“ _Julian_.”

He jerked his hand to the left, light illuminating bright red eyes staring at him from the dark. His heart pounded in his chest, eyes dilating widely at the red glowing eyes watching him from inside the shadows. Julian didn’t think about it twice, he hauled his body up the stairs following quickly after Pennywise, not looking back once as he escaped the red glowing eyes. He threw the vent to the side, and squeeze his body into the room inside. He quickly scramble to shut the vent and back away from it. He stood, flashlight pointed the entire time at the vent incase whatever it had been had followed him up.

A hand took hold of his shoulder, making him scream and throw the flashlight at the body behind him.

Pennywise growled, claws digging into the soft flesh of Julian’s shoulder.

“I thought I told you to stay down and wait for me,” Pennywise hissed, lifting julain up to face him.

Julain’s whole body was trembling in fear, as he shook. He let out a sigh of relief when he realized it was Pennywise, but immediately tensed as he came to the horrible conclusion that whatever had been down with him in the tunnels was not Pennywise, but something else, someone else. “There was something down there with me.”

After his words Pennywise seemed to realize the state Julian was in. Julian watch his eyes narrowed as he pulled Julian close and sniffed his neck. Julian paid no mind to Pennywise as he started licking at his neck. His mind was still caught up in fear. Abanus had been down there with him and he had barely managed to escape him. If he had caught him than he would no doubt be a mindless slave right now. He was relieved to know Pennywise had been close by or else his fate would be different.

“I thought it was you messing with me,” Julian mumbled, hands still trembling in fear. He didn’t like feeling this way, but Abanus had always been the one to reduce his bravery into cowardice. He always invoked bad memories that had Julian shaking in fear. He didn’t like it at all.

Pennywise growled angrily, eyes glowing at the pathetic state Its little human was in. It pulled the trembling human closer, sniffing at the fear coming off of Julian in waves. It’s mouth water, hunger roaring to the front of Its mind as the human continued to tremble. It couldn’t help but bite down on the human’s shoulder, cradling the little human closer to It. It should be angry at whatever had left Its him in such a state, but the sweet smell of fear radiating off the human was intoxicating.

Julian cried out, mind leaving his fear of what was down in the tunnels to focus on Pennywise, who was bring down hard on his shoulder. He felt his body react to the stimulation. This time his body trembled for different reasons, eyes closing as the pain turned to pleasure. He couldn’t help but let out a moan as Pennywise’s sharp teeth dug deeper, making his blood spill down his body to stain his clothes red. His hands tugged at Pennywise’s suit, trying to pull him closer to rub on him as he continued to bite down harder on his shoulder.

Julian’s body jolted as Pennywise unexpectedly slam him back against the wall, claws dug into his waist as he was lifted up. He wrapped his long legs around Pennywise, pulling the clown closer and allowing him to bite harder down in his shoulder. He whimpered at the pain, loving and hating what Pennywise was doing to him. He didn’t know what had happen to make the clown the way he was now, and he didn’t care, he only knew that he was enjoying every second of it.

Julian rubbed against Pennywise’s front and felt himself harden the longer Pennywise attack his shoulder, his teeth biting down repeatedly. He craned his head to the side allowing Pennywise to nibble at his delicate neck, sharp needles prickling his soft skin, leaving bloodily dots behind. He felt Pennywise claw away at his clothes as if they were nothing but soft tissue paper, scattering them across the floor and leaving him naked. Julian whined as he was set down harshly and flipped around, clawed hands tugging his hips back to expose his back to Pennywise. He trembled, fully conscious of what was about to happen. Maybe he should stop what was happening, but he couldn’t help but shiver in delight at getting a full taste of what had happened the night before.

This time it wasn’t like before where his mind would slip and his submissive self would take control of his body. This was him, him allowing Pennywise to take charge of him, and it scared and thrilled him. Should he fight against Pennywise? Like that would stop a being more stronger than him. Whatever had set Pennywise off, Julian wasn’t about to stop him. He wanted this and he wasn’t going to stop. It was about time he admitted how much he wanted to feel this way.

He spread his legs wider when he felt a glove hand slide down his back and down his hip, teasing his skin as sharp claws left trails behind them. The hand stopped inches from where Julian wanted it to touch. He twisted his upper body around, trying to catch sight of Pennywise behind him, only to be greeted by glowing yellow eyes once he caught sight of Pennywise. He whimpered at the sight of sharp teeth, drool, and glowing eyes that was Pennywise. He looked ready to devour Julian.

“Please,” he begged softly, arching more to allow Pennywise access to his aching hole, his legs and body shaking with need. He was turned around, face pressed up against the wall not allowing him to move around again. What sort of magic did the clown have that made him such a trembling mess when he was around?

He cried out loudly in pleasure when teeth bit down on his hip, a hand quickly came up to muffle the sounds escaping his mouth.

“Quiet,” Pennywise hissed, leaving small bites down to the soft plump flesh of his ass. Julian whined, chewing at the gloved hand covering his mouth. He hissed when Pennywise gave his inner thigh a hard bite, surely drawing blood. He wiggles, earning himself another bite from Pennywise. Julian’s whine turned into a moan when the fingers of the hand muffling his sounds were shoved into his mouth. He quickly got the message and began sucking hard on the fingers inside his mouth. He choked when the fingers seemed to lengthen in his mouth, reaching farther than normal human fingers would.

He jolted when he felt something slimy and wet crawl up his leg, warping itself on his thigh and crawling higher. He let out a confused noise, stopping his sucking to try and see what was crawling up his thigh. All he managed was to earn himself a slap on his ass from Pennywise. He moan in delight at the stinging pleasure it left behind.

“Did you think I was human?” Pennywise hummed, digging his other hand into Julian’s ass cheek, spreading him open for the slimy appendage crawling over his leg and began to tease his hole. “Let me remind you what I am.”

“Hmmph,” Julian cried when the slimy wet appendage breached his hole, sliding in and wiggling inside. His hips jerked when the appendage rubbed his prostate making him cry out even more. His eyes water at the feeling of the appendage hardening more and growing inside him. He knew Pennywise wasn’t human, but this was beyond what he thought. It didn’t disturbed him, instead it secretly delighted him to know this side of Pennywise.

“Shh, relax,” Pennywise hiss to him beside his ear having risen to stand behind him and press on to Julian. He licked Julian’s neck again and bit down, sucking at the bloody mark he made. “It’ll hurts less if you do.”

Julian shook his head as the appendage inside him grew even larger, stretching him more than he could possibly bear. He was glad that whatever was inside him provide its own sort of lubricant or he was sure he would have torn something. Julian whined again when the appendage crawled deeper inside him, reaching farther than a normal human would be able to. He shook as it grew more and he felt Pennywise’s hips touch his as something other than the slimy appendage inside him rubbed against his ass .

“Hmm, look at you,” Pennywise growled, beginning to grind against Julian as the slimy appendage twisted and rubbed him from the inside. “Practically begging like a bitch in heat.”

He shook his head, denying what he was saying yet arching back into Pennywise and the slimy thing inside him.

“No?” Pennywise mocked, grinding again and making Julian moan louder against the fingers inside his mouth. “So your body is not begging to be bred, to be taken?”

Julian moan, eyes rolling to the back of his head when Pennywise made the appendage inside him thrust harder into him, grinding down into Julian. It twisted inside Julian, rubbing and curing against the velvet walls of his inside, only teasing him and not allowing him the thing he craved. It let him shaking for more than just teasing.

“You just had to come in here reeking of fear,” Pennywise growled, twisting the appendage in and out of Julian, slimy wet tentacle brushing everything inside him. Julian writhe under Pennywise as the stimulation allowed him a little bit of relief. It wasn’t like being taken and dominated, but it caused some friction that Julian was craving.

Julian whined louder again when Pennywise stopped, he pulled the slimy appendage out of him and leaving Julian trembling for more. He felt his inside coated with whatever slim the tentacle appendage had produced leaving him wet and ready.

“Mine,” Pennywise hissed in a deeper voice, slamming a very human cock inside julian. Julian screamed around the fingers, thrashing in Pennywise’s hold at the sudden intrusion. “ _Mine_.”

The wet appendage crawled up his leg to wrap itself around Julian’s leaking length. It squeezes around Julian’s base as it wrapped itself on him, not allowing him to come the instant Pennywise began to thrust hard against him. Pleasure and pain jolted up Julian’s entire body, leaving his mind a mess as Pennywise plowed into him. He was helpless to stop him, not that he wanted to stop Pennywise as he took him hard, not allowing him a moment of rest. His hands scramble up against the wall, searching for something to take a hold of as his body jerk with each thrust pennywise delivered. He cried out, spreading himself more to allowed Pennywise deeper into him.

He open his mouth wider when the fingers in his mouth thrust back deeper like earlier. He felt himself choking again, gagging on the fingers inside his mouth, not allowing him to breath, but likening it nonetheless. His body shook with pleasure at every hard thrust, his own body pushing back to meet Pennywise.

“No Master complimentary this time?” It hissed down at the little human who had begun to thrust back in time with each hard thrust of Its The little human, Julian, shook his head mindlessly answering It before moaning loudly when It angled a thrust just right into that bundle of nerves that had him quivering with pleasure. It smirked, biting down hard on the mark it left the previous night.

It would have called it a Mating Mark if the situation wasn’t so twisted and It wasn’t mating with a human. It wasn’t stupid enough to make a human Its mate. Humans died and withered away. They weren’t permanent like It was. To mate a human would be a death sentences for It. It would rather starve to death before mating a human, but It couldn’t help but indulge the idea of a Mate as the human squeeze down on Its throbbing length as It licked the blood away.

“Such wanton little human.”

“Hmm, Hmm!” The little human responded back twisting in Its grasp to flash his amber blue teary eyes at It. It felt entranced by the burning bicolored eyes of the little human watching him, mouth full of his fingers and body tightening around the pulsing length inside him. It pulled Its fingers out of the human’s mouth, watching the pouty lips suck one last time before reluctantly releasing him.

“Pennywise,” the little human whined out, the title Master long forgotten as he watched It. The little human’s blue-amber eyes faded to match Pennywise’s unnatural yellow ones. “Please.”

“Hm,” Pennywise hummed at the little writhing human, pleased that it had called It by name and not the ridiculous title of Master. The little human whined, crying out and thrusting into Its tentacle warped tightly around his hard length, not allowing the little human his much desired release.

“Please, please please,” he cried, reaching back and taking hold of Its thrusting hips. Little fingers digging into Its hips. His eyes drifted shut, twisting around and leaning back to lay his head on Its shoulder as It thrusted sharply against the bundle of nerves inside the human It knew made him lose his mind and turned him into a whimpering mess.

Julian’s mind had been lost in the feeling of being taken by Pennywise, body trembling with pain blending into pleasure. He felt the tentacle, slimy and wet, tightening and releasing rhythmically on his dripping cock, never allowing him relief. Pennywise growled when he slid a curious hand down to shyly touch the tentacle, fingertips brushing against the smooth wet appendage.

“Not yet,” It growled to the human, allowing his curious hand to wrap around the tentacle. It thrust harder when the curious fingers rubbed against the tentacle, giving Pennywise pleasure through it.

“Hmmph, ahh!” Julian cried when he was shoved up against the wall, clawed hands digging into his hips and pulling him back to every thrust. He shook his head against, glancing down and catching sight of the tentacle entrapping his dripping cock in a tight vice. The appendage, tentacle like, was smooth and pale white, like the skin of Pennywise’s face. It squeezed him tightly when he touched it again, making him moan loudly. His eyes also caught sight of Pennywise’s clawed hands, his gloves had vanished to reveal white pale hands with long white claws stained with his blood.

“I can’t, I can’t!” He cried in desperation. He entire body shook, thighs coming together as he twisted bellow Pennywise, crying out desperately for release. He stood on his toes when Pennywise lifted him up from his hips, pounding harder into him. He snarled against Julian’s ear, biting down on again in the mark before releasing the tight hold he had on Julian’s length.

Julian screamed into the empty room, back arching into Pennywise as he was finally allowed release. His eyes shut, ears ringing as the tentacle rubbed up and down him as a hand would, his release staining the wall in front of him. His pleasure intensified through him as he felt Pennywise thrust hardly one last time into him, releasing warmth liquid that spread through his insides, leaving him shaking. He moan as he clamp down on Pennywise cock, milking him and grinding back. He felt Pennywise purr softly, letting go of his shoulder to lick at the bloody mark he made.

Julian’s legs gave out making him droop in Pennywise’s grip. Pennywise growled lowly when his moments cause him to slip out of him. Pennywise lowered them to the grown, warping his arms around Julian and not letting go. Julian whined in protested as he was pulled back, allowing Pennywise to slip back inside his dripping hole. He clawed weakly at the arm wrapped around his middle, hand splayed out on his stomach, almost lovingly. Pennywise continued his purring, nuzzling his head affectionately. Julian yawned, closing his eyes and snuggling closed to the clown monster behind him, shivering when the movement cause Pennywise to sift deeper inside him. Pennywise gave little grinds into him, causing him to grind back and mew in pleasure as he was overstimulated, causing him pain yet pleasure. Pennywise’s hands roamed his body, rubbing softly against his belly in a way that added to the feeling.

Both laid unaware of the angry red eyes staring at them from the darkness.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

  
Julian woke up first, disoriented and sore from their earlier coupling. He voiced out a tired groan, trying to get out of Pennywise’s strong hold around his waist. He moan loud again, this time in pleasure as he felt that Pennywise was still inside him. He moved his hips towards, allowing Pennywise to slip out from inside him. He couldn’t help the protest whine that escaped once he was empty and clenching down at nothing. He tried again to slip out of the hold around him and once he was free, wincing he entire time, he stood to take in his surroundings. He took noticed of the hospital like appearance of the room they were in. Medical charts were neatly put up on the wall surrounding them.

He rubbed his eyes and took in his naked state. He shot the resting form of Pennywise a glare when he realized that his clothes had been torn to pieces in their scuffle. He couldn’t help the irritated twitch his body gave as he moved around the room to find some clothes to cover himself up. He didn’t want to be naked when Pennywise woke up. Why was he resting anyways? He was a demonic entity that didn’t need rest. Maybe the battle had worn him out a lot more than he let on despite having eaten something the day before.

“I hate you,” he hissed lowly towards Pennywise when he didn’t find anything to cover himself with. He continued his search, however, finding a door he hadn’t seen before. He opened it and poked his head out to see what was beyond. A long medical corridor laid before him, the lights above flickering as he took in the hallway. He gave Pennywise one last look before venturing out. Julain shivered when the cold of the long hallway caressed his naked body, reminding him of his desperate need for clothing. He wrapped his hands around his chest, trying to warm himself up as he made his way down the long hallway.

He tried a door, finding it lock before moving on and doing the same to another. He had almost reached the end of the hall when a door finally opened. He crept inside, finding the room full of hospital issued garments, similar to of a patient who stayed for longer medical reasons, and quickly put the clothes on in relief. He didn’t put much thought as to why Pennywise would need to visit a hospital. Pennywise was weird and the less Julian thought about his unnatural habits the better. He was just here to help the crazy entity for a while as he got his strength back and helped Julian later. And also apparently to fuck him from time to time. He shivered at the reminder, his body trembling as the clothes rubbed against marks made by Pennywise.

Fully dressed he made his way back out. He found it was strange that no nurses were walking around the hospital. It was late at night, but he would have thought they would be checking in on patients all the time. They must be in an unoccupied section of the hospital. He didn’t realize that Derry even had a hospital.

Just as he was walking back to the room Pennywise was in a door to his left slowly creaked open. He stared with wide eyes, expecting a person to come out and confront him, but instead an eerie darkness greeted him. Julian scowled, recalling a similar darkness from before in his mind.

“Pennywise?” He took a step towards the door, wondering if the clown would jump out and scare him. “Again with the tricks?”

When he received no answer he sighed and turned to leave. He wasn’t in the mood to be played with. He was sore all over and wished to be home and rest his tired body. He had not taken one step away when he felt something grab him by the waist and pull him inside the dark room. The door slammed close, draping him in pitch darkness as he felt himself be tossed roughly to the ground

.

“Pet, I am most dissspleased,” a voiced hissed down at him, a clawed hand digging into his back. He froze as he recognized the voice of his previous Master.

 

“Abanus.”

 

“Who else?”

Julian strain his eyes to see, but it was hopeless in the pitch darkness that was Abanus’ essence. The entire room was cloaked in his essence, something the demon did to hide itself from his victims. Julian knew very well what would happen next if he didn’t escape from the demon holding him down. Abanus was awfully fond of darkness and he liked doing his most despicable acts surrounded by it.

“My beloved, _Master_ ,” He spat back at the demon and received a harsh claw mark down his back for his insult. He hid his wince, knowing that the demon wanted him to show his pain. The less he showed the better. He didn’t want to give the demon the satisfaction of seeing him hurt by his hands.

“You do well to respect me, Julian.” Julian felt Abanus shift on top of him, his touch like unwanted oil on his skin, so differently from the feeling of Pennywise’s playful touch. He reign in the need to gag when the demon lovingly petted his body as Pennywise had done earlier. He craved Pennywise’s touched now and wished the demon would stop touching him. “I am most displeased with you.”

“Don’t touch me!”

“Look how rebellious you have gotten. That retched clown has _defiled_ you and soiled my long work.”

“Unhand me you delusional demon!” He cried, twisting under Abanus trying to escape his hold. He felt the claws dig down deeper and breaking skin, causing him to bleed through his clothes.

He felt Abanus moved from above him, disappearing into the darkness of the room and leaving Julian alone to huddle in fear as he tried to see in the dark. He quickly rose and twisted around the room trying to see where he went off to.

“I had hope those children had finished the clown off, but it seems that thing is like a pesky fly that just won’t die. He is weak now, so he won’t mind me taking back what he so borrowed unwillingly.”

“It was more than willingly,” Julian spat in rebellion. He knew his actions would cause him more pain, but he couldn’t help but fight the demon.

“Yes, I know, Pet,” Came the angry reply. “And your little frolicking will not go unpunished.”

“Go to hell!”

“And If so you shall join me,” Abanus hissed back as the light flickered on, revealing his form to Julian. Julian glared, but couldn’t help the shiver of fear that raked his body as he took in his former “ _Master’s_ ” skeletal body. Abanus was just as Julian always remembered him to be; All dark leather like skin over taunt muscle and unholy red eyes. The tattered red cloth that draped over him like a king’s cape made his appearance more imposing. The ram skull he had for a head just proved to Julian how demonic Abanus truly was.

Julian scrambled back, falling down and looking up at Abanus in fear when he approached him, long hoofed legs clicking on the tile surface of the floor and red eyes glowing brightly as he zoomed in on Julian.

“Don’t struggle Pet, this will only hurt if you do,” Abanus said as he wrapped a hand around Julian’s calf. Pulling him towards him.

“As it will hurt you if you don’t let the little human go,” growled Pennywise, standing over them. Julian sighed in relief at the sudden appearance of the clown. He looked up at him, pleading silently for him to rescue him from the demons hold.

Abanus looked up at Pennywise, releasing Julian he stood up and he gave the other a small little mocking bow. “The little one was mine long before you, Celestial.”

“He is mine now,” It hissed at the cow headed demon. The skull of the ram seemed to curve upwards in an almost smile, hollow eye sockets glowing bright red in amusement.

“Yours? Highly doubt it so,” Abanus said shooting Julian, who had been sneaking away, a look. Julian froze and stood where he had previously been inching towards an exit. “Stay still Pet.”

Julian glared at Abanus, but remind standing still in front of the window. He glanced outside trying to see if he could sneak out only to discovered they were in the third floor of the whatever hospital Pennywise had brought them to. Julian grumbled lowly at the situation. How unfortunate of him to be stuck between two battling demonic beings.

“He is mine now,” Pennywise hissed again, ready to attack the cow headed demon. Abanus just chuckled, pulling out his staff and ready himself to counter attack the clown.

“Fight me if you must for the right over the little human, but we both know you are still too weak.”

Julian jumped back pressing himself against the window when both beings rushed towards each other and began attacking one another. He couldn’t help but watch as Pennywise clawed at Abanus, tearing away at the leather like skin as if it were paper. Dark red blood, almost goo like, dripped into the floor as Abanus defensed himself, taking stabs at Pennywise, but not reaching fast enough to injure himself. Although Pennywise was in a weaker state than Abanus, he held more power having lived far longer than the demon attacking him. Pennywise was not the only one to have neglected his feeding, Abanus had also skipped out on finding food to fuel his power. He had been so busy focusing on the little human who had escape to go around making deals to power himself up. He was weak p, but not enough to not fight against a being older than himself. It was proven when Abanus managed to thrust his staff deep into Pennywise’s chest. Pennywise growled as he was pushed back, staff sticking through him and latching on to the wall behind him.

“Give up, clown, you are still weak,” Abanus hissed, clawed hand ready to tear the clown’s head off. Pennywise giggled, grabbing hold of the staff and pulling it out of himself. His skin seemed to peel off and float into the air, disappearing like fire embers into the air.

“Arrogance, I am older than you,” he said, thrust the staff right back into a surprised Abanus’ own chest. “And I can survive this.”

Abanus’ black red blood poured down his body, collecting on the floor beneath him. He chuckled as well, stumbling back at his injury. It wouldn’t kill him, as the clown hoped, but it would slow him down and make him retreat like before. He pulled the staff out and tossed it on the ground as he kneeled down, holding a hand over the hole it created to stop the blood from spilling out more.

“This won’t kill me,” he told the clown, standing up he caught sight of his little pet staring at them both with wide eyes.

Abanus suddenly felt burning rage at the little Pet that had caused him more trouble than he really was worth. The little human should be grateful that he had taken interest in him. Here he was offering the human immortality and the human was spitting back at his generosity. How many humans were allowed to live after facing a demon? None, especially one as Abanus who hated the hassle of taking a human as a Changeling. Changelings required work and time to make them the perfect pet, but then the little human was being difficult. He had allowed another to touch him and in effect had soil Abanus’ long hard work. Even now Abanus could feel the human’s resistance to his thrall.

“Such a waste,” Abanus mutter, coming up with a decision as the little human stared at the clown with concern in his blue eyes. If he could not have the little human as his pet, than so couldn’t the clown. With a fling of his hand and power charged behind it he tossed the little human through the window, watching as his hard work fell down towards the earth to meet his death. He didn’t stay after that, having destroyed his only human Changeling Abanus left the building, shadows swallowing his body as he retired back to his domain.

Julian felt dread when Abanus fixed his angry red eyes at him. Nothing good ever came from the look he was sending Julian, red eyes laser focused on him like the predator he was. Abanus rarely sent him that look, only when he had done something that had displeased him which always followed with some form of punishment. When Abanus raised his hand and flung it at him he felt the tug of his power pulling him back. He gasped as he crashed through the glass of the window, small sharp glass ripping at his clothes and cutting through his skin, but those were meaningless as he fell through and downwards. Everything seemed to slow down as he caught one last look of his former Master, fading into darkness as he left Julian to his fate.

It was such a cruel twist of fate, not that he hadn’t seen it coming, but to have his Master, who had relentless hunted him, end his life so swiftly seemed so cruel. It was only fair, he guessed as he fell through the window, fear making his heart beat fast in his chest as the cool wind of the night ruffled his clothes and the night sky gleamed brightly above him, to die such a way. He had always pictured his death to befall upon him in a more twisted way, he was running away from a demon after all. Maybe Abanus would rip him apart or simply claw his heart out of his chest like he always threaten when he was little and rebelled against him. He figured a part of him would always regard the demon as his Master, that part he hated about himself, but insisted on living inside him and infecting his thoughts with the demon. Stockholm syndrome perhaps?

Eighteen years and this was how Julian met his death; Falling through a widow and dying. He guess it could have been worse, much worse. His entire body felt the impact of hitting the ground from three stories up, bones breaking and snapping as the concrete greeted him from below. He choked as blonde rose up his throat from a pierced lung. Was he lucky he has enough demon blood still running through his body to allow him just a few seconds of life? Where was the flash of his life before his eyes like people said happen? For once he was glad that didn’t happen to him. There was nothing in his life that he wanted to revisit. Maybe his parents, but they had left him alone when he needed them the most. Eddie? Oh, when was the last time he saw him? He would miss Eddie.

He coughed up blood, unable to even move as his body slowly stopped working inside him. He couldn’t help but wonder where his soul would go. Hell, maybe? He had been the cause of many people dying. Innocent people’s death caused by his hand. The world would be better off with one less monster, he couldn’t help but think as the stars above him blurred and his breathing slowed. Darkness slowly swallowed those blurry stars up, and his numb body relaxed as his mind shut down and he knew nothing else but the feeling of _floating_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *side smirk*


	13. Awaken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wouldn’t come to me. I might rewrite it. :/
> 
>  
> 
> Spelling errors, spelling errors everywhere. Sorry. :)

 

_It felt like floating …_

“Do it, My Jewel,” hissed the demon down to Julian, who was crying and sobbing while the demon towered over him, dark shadowed floating around him as his glowing red eyes stared at his shaking form. The demon seemed to be surrounded by them all the time, those same dark shadows that had first appeared to Julian when he had been so afraid of his closet. What were they? Whatever they were, he knew that they would continue to follow him, he knew at least that much. There was no escaping those dark empty shadows when he was around the demon. They were a part of him and their eerie emptiness followed the demonic being everywhere and as a consequence followed Julian around as well.

“I want to go home,” he cried, rubbing away the tears, managing to rub blood all over his cheeks and face. His mind couldn’t understand what was happening. He didn’t know why he was here and why this was happening to him. He wanted to return home and not be here with the creature that was forcing him to do things he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to know what it felt like to kill someone, or what blood tasted like when it was warm and still fresh. Did he have a choice? He was already so unlike his childish self, the little kid that had been taken here against his will was already dead and gone. He was something else now.

“Do it, or you’ll get punished,” the demon said again, gripping his hair and tugging his head back so he was looking straight into the burning red eyes. He shivered, whimpering in fear when the red eyes locked with his. Those red eyes always had a way of rendering him so helpless. They had a way of looking straight into his soul and touching it with their demonic glow. The clawed hand dug into his scalp, managing to tear some of his hair out and making him cry even more in pain when he tried to close his eyes against the blood red eyes of the demon. He didn’t want to look into those eyes.

“I want to go home!” He cried in defiance again, kicking out as he was picked up and place down on the table. His heart beat quickened as he was thrown on the table faced down, chest pressed down by a hand as the demon growled. He screamed when the demon pulled down his shorts and underwear. He tried to get away, little hands gripping the edges of the table, cutting themselves in their tight grip against the sharp edges, in a desperate need to escape what was about to happen.

“I told you already, my sweet little Pet,” the demon hissed, pushing the small body of Julian down so his backside was facing him. Julian screeched when the demon laughed at his struggle. “Disobedience will only get you punished.”

“No!” Julian kicked back at the demon, little legs trying to land a hit on the body behind him holding him down. Nothing in life would ever compare to the fear he was feeling. It was the same every time, but the fear was always new to him. It consumed him as he fought to fight off the demon, growing as he screamed and cried. He could already feel and picture the demon’s pleasure at watching him fight back.

Abanus, if he had a mouth, would be smirking down at the little kicking Julian. He would settled for watching his little pet squirm and cry out as he was held down. The little one, as he liked to call him, only managed to entice the demon to hit him more. Oh, how he loved to watch his little pet defy him every chance he got, that much Julian knew. He loved it and told him repeatedly. It allowed him to punished the disobedient little Pet and show him who was Master. Sometimes he wondered, out loud to Julian, if he did it for fun since he had been acting up more and more. It didn’t matter to Abanus, whether he followed his instructions or decided to act out that day. The results would always be the same. He would get the whatever he wished even if his Pet acted out and lashed at him.

“Hold still, or the punishment will be more sever, my Jewel,” Abanus warned him. Julian squirmed on the bed when he felt the demons shadows caress his skin, licking every surface the could touch. He trembled, knowing that now there was nothing he could do to stop the demon, this was going to happen now. He should have given up, he should let the demon do what he wanted and forget that need to try and escape. The shadows would hold him down if he tried, if he really tried to escape his punishment. Their slimy sickening hold would ensure he would not move. He should really learn how to give up.

Julian cried and thrashed on the table, small body trying to escape. His tiny hands pushed at the table, trying to get up and away from the demon above him, but it was useless, it had always been useless. His small body couldn’t compare to the giant form of the being holding him down. The demon had more strength than him. Julian was just a human child, what strength did he have against a demonic being more older and powerful than him? He could kick, scream, and thrash all he wanted to, but the results would always be the same. He would find himself trapped, underneath the demon and at his mercy. He sobbed quietly now, he stilled as he accept his fate.

 _Smack_.

Julian screamed, crying out when he felt the clawed hand of the demon hit his bottom, the force of the blow causing his flesh to redden and bleed. He bit down on his lips as the stinging intensified with each continuing blow, their precise accuracy delivering each hit to the same spot over and over again. Blood dripped down into the table as his lips broke skin, that small pain nothing compared to the burning feeling of his behind being hit. He sobbed quietly as the demon continued his punishment, trying to force some of the pain away.

He hated him. Julian hated the demon so much. He wished every day he could escape, or he could just one day not wake up. His life was one continuous nightmare, every day felt like the same thing was happening to him. He would awaken beside the demon, small body sore and aching from the previous night, then the demon would force him to drink a strange liquid that made him feel sick and gross. He had to pushed that sick feeling aside because immediately he would have to get dressed in the tiny shirts and lose T-shirt his “Master” provided for him. The rest of the day he would follow his “Master” around, sore and sick until another order was forced upon him.

Some days he would have to bring his “Master” another kid to kill or other times he would have to do the killing himself. Whatever it was he was forced to do he hated it. It was wrong to do those sort of thing, but he had no choice. It was an order and if he disobeyed his “Master” he would be punished. The worst thing however, was when he was forced to torture the people he brought back to his “Master”. He would hear their screams in his dreams after every lesson his “Master” taught him. It sickened him and some days, when he was forced to do just that, he would refused. He didn’t want to remember what their screams sounded like, or what their blood tasted like ad it splashed against his mouth. He refused every time, only to end up right back at the beginning.

It would only earn him a punishment, like the one he was receiving now, but what followed always was even more disturbing to him. He could stand the pain, the hits and humiliation, but he couldn’t stand feeling so violated by the demon. He didn’t want to do those things or know what those things were in the first place. It hurt his backside when they did those things, and he always discovered blood and that sticky white stuff that came out of the demon dripping down his legs every time. It felt gross and unnatural. He was ten and only adults were supposed to do what the demon did to him. And only people like his mommy and daddy did those things! Not him, a child, and a demon!

“Have you learned your lesson, Pet?” The demon asked, breaking Julian’s thoughts, voice coated with glee. Julian nodded rapidly, mouth opening as more of his blood poured out of his abused lip. He didn’t want this to continue.

Julian shook as he realized what was about to happen next. He cried louder when a hand rubbed his stinging butt, a claw slowly creeping to his wet opening. He tried to squirm away when a finger pressed down, forcing their way inside. He was wet, the demon had casted a spell to ensure he was always ready to be taken. He hated the feeling since it made him uncomfortable and it was just wrong. Everything that was happening was just wrong. It was wrong to have that sort of thing happening to him, but there was little he could do. He couldn’t fight against the demon. He just couldn’t.

“Always so open, my Pet,” the demon hissed, dragging a finger from his insides out. Julian cried at the feeling that sent tingles through his whole body. He had hated the feeling. It wasn’t supposed to be a good feeling, but the longer he was trapped with demon the more the feeling felt good. He didn’t want to enjoy what the demon was doing to him. It was wrong, so wrong, and little by little he was losing himself to the feeling.

He felt the demon’s hardness brush against him, his whole body tensing as he felt him. He thrashed, twisting away only to earn a clawed hand digging into his spin to push him back. He cried in fear and confusion. He was so confused and scared. He didn’t want this so why was his body responding like it did?

“Don’t move, Julian.”

He closed his eyes, crying as the clawed hands held him down. His mind began shutting down, the sensations leaving him as he lost himself inside his thoughts. He always did this when he was taken by the demon. This was an escape from what he was feeling. His mind would wonder, making his own fantasy away from his nightmare. In them he was safe and nothing could harm him. Nothing. His mind blissful fading into nothingness….

  
_Julian._

_Where am I?_

_  
Am I dead?_

_  
Is this a dream? A nightmare?_

_  
Why does it hurt?_

_  
It hurts. Please make it stop._

_  
Hello? Is there anyone there?_

_  
Hello?_

_  
Why is it so dark?_

_  
Hello?_

_  
Please? Anyone?_

_  
Where am I?_

_  
Why am I alone?_

_  
Hello?_

_  
Did I do something wrong?_

_  
Hello?!_

_  
I didn’t mean to._

_  
Please._

_  
I’m sorry._

_  
I’m so sorry._

 

_What’s that?_

_  
A light?_

_  
Should I follow?_

_  
Hello?_

_  
It’s so bright._

_  
So beautiful._

 

_  
It always felt like floating._

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
Bright scared blue eyes stared at It as they fell through the window, face wide in shock. The little human fell, and fell.

It was frantic as It went after the falling little human, finding him laying on the ground barely alive. It trembled, not sure what to do to help the little human who was slowly fading away, heart beat stuttering slowed as the seconds ticked by. How ironic it all was to the Celestial being to have grown so fond of the little human after centuries of hating humanity. They were all just parasites to It, useless things that walked the universe. Little things that only were good for food and not something to worry or care about, but that didn’t stop It from picking up the little broken human and cradling him close. It stared down at the fading blue eyes of the human, slowly watching as his breath slowed even more and more.

It had taken the demons retreating form as a sign of victory, for It was still weak and had little strength to fight off the other demonic being. What little strength It had It needed to survive for a little while longer as It searched for food. Fighting the demon in such a state proved to be idiotic as It felt It power wane for a moment when the demon stabbed It through the chest. Luckily, It had no heart to be damaged and could survive being impaled by the demon’s staff, but when the demon had turned his cold red eyes to the little human It had felt a sense of foreboding. It had expected the demon to take the human and disappear like smoke, but instead the demon had huffed in annoyance and pushed the human with his demonic power out the window, surely ending the little human’s life.

It had been helpless to stop the human from falling, the fall being so short and sudden. It could only cradle the human closer as blood dripped out of his mouth, making the gurgling sound It knew very well form It previous victims. The little human’s eyes focus one last on Its, before his chest stop moving and his eyes went blank. It sat back unsure of what to do to help, It was a being of consumption, of chaos and It didn’t know how to help or heal life. It had only know of one being like Itself who could create life and that was not It. It withered everything It touched and It could give the human little comfort.

So Its next decision to save the little human was beyond stupid, beyond the unthinkable. It didn’t think, however, It just opened the little human’s mouth, blood pouring out as It placed Its own mouth over the human’s. It wasn’t sure if what It was about to do would work. There where only two outcomes to what It was about to do: the human would die or would live. There was no in between.

It felt Its power flow into then little human as bright yellow orange lights transferred from inside It to the human. To pushed Its own essence inside the human was suicidal for both of them. It was still weak and the human could die from direct contact with Its true being, but It had no choice as It pushed as much as It dared into the dying human. It stopped after a while, watching the human as he laid still in Its arms.. Did it work?

The little human showed no signs of life, still body growing colder. Just when it was about to abandon the little human to search for food to replenish the power It had lost when trying to revive him the little human twitched. It held the human more closely as the human began to convulse violently, body shaking and twisting as if in pain. The human then started screaming, hands that had been laying limp beside his body began clawing at his throat drawing blood. It did Its best to hold the convulsing human down so he wouldn’t hurt himself more, but the human twisted as bones snapped back into place and lungs pierced by his ribs healed. The whole process looked painful as the human continued to scream and scratch at his own body searching for a way to make the pain stop.

Soon enough the convulsions stopped, the little human twitching and screams coming to a stop. It observed the now still human, no heart beat or breathing could be heard from the human as he just laid even more still than before. Then he gasped, eyes snapping open and frantically searching. His cat like eyes landed in Pennywise above him before they rolled to the back of his head and he fainted again. It sighed in relief, nuzzling the little human’s head that It now considered a little mate.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

_Julian, wake up._

Golden amber eyes fluttered open as the sound of dripping water echoed through the endless tunnel system of Darry, Maine. They stared blankly off into space for a while, not focusing on anything, the sound of dripping water a soothing melody to the owner of the amber eyes. Their eyes moved slowly, every blink feeling like a thousand seconds between each one, their soft eyelashes brushing against cool cheeks as their blinks dragged on. Their soft breathing came even more slowly into focus, the steady sound of music brushed against their sensitive skin, every touch and sound feeling like tiny electrical sparks shooting through their body.

_Where were they?_

The music became louder, waking the golden eyed owner more, the sudden change of the beat fading into a crescendo of sounds and words as the golden eyed being moved to sit up, only to flop back down ungracefully like a new born fawn taking its first steps into the world. The being tried to voice out for help, only to make a soft gurgling sound and give out a weak cough. They felt something built up in their sensitive eyes, liquid spilling down distracting them from their earlier task to the feeling of cool salted water caressing their skin, the electric sparks shooting everywhere as they focused more and more on the feeling.

They reached a shaky hand up to touch the cool wet skin, trembling finger tips brushing against sensitive skin causing them to shiver and quake like grass in the wind. Their hand splayed our more, exploring the feeling of skin on skin. They jumped when the tips of their fingers touched the corner of their lip, finding the area a lot more sensitive then the area of their cheeks. They gave an airy giggle, no sound coming out still. To them the feeling felt good but weird.

So engrossed in their exploration that they didn’t pay much attention to the other being in the room, yellow burning eyes watching as they explored the wonders of the sense of touch. The other being watched, intrigued by the curious creature that once was human but now was something more. The yellow eyed being moved closer, creeping slowly so not to startled the little blonde one, who had moved to explore their hair on delight, until the Being was a few feet away. White gloved hands moved to touch the amber eyed one, startling them when rough hands dragged against their arm.

They twisted to look at the thing in front of them. The thing tilted their head to the side in curiosity, red hair moving with the being’s movements as the thing watching them touched their skin, rough fingers causing them to wiggle at the feeling. The feeling was so much different when another one did it. They didn’t stop the being from touching them, but they didn’t encourage the touch either. They were wary of who the thing before them was. Were they friendly or and enemy?

When the small amber eyed little one didn’t move away, the yellowed being moved closer. The amber eyes followed the moment like a hawk watching a rabbit scramble in a desperate run to get away from the nearing predator high above. Their eyes narrowed into little cat slits when the towering Being before them moved to touch their cheeks, moving their head from side to side.

“Julian?” The being asked, watching their reaction closely.

They hissed, scratching away the hands holding them to go back to their earlier exploration.

“Julian?”

They looked up again at the other one before them. Why did It keep calling them that name? Was that their name? They gave a soft confused noise, tilting their head to the side while the other being stared. The other being’s face twisted into a scowl, yellow eyes flicker between blue and yellow as It looked thoughtfully at them.

“Can’t you talk, little human?”

Blink. Blink.

“I see, let me check your mind then,” It said, eyes glowing bright yellow.

They whined when a sharp sting rushed through their head, making them close their eyes against the burning pain. Soon enough it was over and they were left a whimpering mess, hands rubbing against their head.

“I have to bring back your mind, little one. This will hurt.”

The most excruciating pain they had ever felt coursed through their body. The pain was intense, making them screams and thrash as their mind was torn apart and put back together. They clawed and pulled at their head, whole body shaking as the pain grew and grew to reach unbearable heights. Just when they thought they would pass out from the pain something popped inside them, something forgotten that was remembered. Every little detail came rushing back.

Julian remembered. He remembered falling, he remembered what dying felt like. It had been so similar and yes not the same to what dying by his own hand had felt like. The cold feeling had numb his body and the pain had vanished until the calm feeling of nothingness engulfed his body, but unlike before that tranquil feeling only came after pain. He had felt everything when he hit the ground. His bones breaking, shattering and stabbing his insides, surely killing any hope he had of surviving. Not that he would have survived a fall like that in the first place.

He should be dead. Why wasn’t he dead? And why did it hurt so much to move? He groan, blinking at the bright light around him that made it hard for him to see. His body felt so sensitive to everything at the moment. Every basic sense he had was somehow doubled of what he had before. He could hear water dripping slowly, the sound of dashing feet sounding so near by, he could taste the moss growing around him as well as smell it, and everything felt too hard and rough to his touch and his eyes captured every little dust particle illuminated but the bright Light  
What was wrong with him?

“Julian?”

He jerked, opening his eyes again to find Pennywise starting at him. He flinched when he was touched by him. His whole body felt unnaturally sensitive, even a small touch from Pennywise felt like a hit.

“It hurts,” he croaked, voice breaking as he tried to voice out those few words. He swatted away the hand touching him, sighing in relief when his nerves weren’t stimulated by the touch. He crinkled his forehead when he rubbed his skin. It felt so sensitive.

“Side affect,” Pennywise explained, inspecting him with his eyes instead of touching him like he did before. Julian gave him an uncomfortable smile, glad that he was taking his sensitive into consideration. He blinked slowly when the words registered.

“Side affect….of what?”

“Bring you back from the dead.”

“What?!” He cried, wincing when it caused him pain. He rubbed his throat trying to ease up his vocal cords. “How long?”

“You’ve been comatose for two weeks.”

Julian stoped what he was doing to look up at Pennywise. “What?”

“Your body was changing.” Pennywise narrowed his eyes at him. “You’re no longer human.”

“What am I?” He felt his heart rate speed up. He was no longer human. What did that mean? How could he not be human? “What did you do?”

“I brought you back from the dead. You should be grateful..

“Grateful?! Why would I be grateful when you’ve change me?!”

“Did you prefer to rather die?”

“I would prefer to not be whatever it is you changed me into!”

“You’re alive, you stupid human! You should be thankful I took pity on you and let you live!”

“Pity on me?!” He coughed, rubbing at his sore throat. “I didn’t want your pity!”

“You’re alive because of me,” Pennywise snapped back, eyes glowing in anger.

“What am I?” He demanded suddenly. He wanted to know exactly what he had been turn into. Was he now a slave like he would have been with Abanus?

“You’re alive, that’s what’s important.” Was the only answer he received from Pennywise. Julian shook his head. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to not be human.

“I didn’t ask for this,” he grounded out, glaring at Pennywise. “I don’t want this.”

“Kill yourself, then!” Pennywise growled, standing up.

“Where are you going?! You have to fix this!”

Pennywise ignored him. He got thrown a glare from the other before he quickly disappeared from view, going around another tunnel, steps fading as he left Julian alone on the ground. Julian felt like screaming in anger at the idiotic clown that had left him. He tried standing, only to fall down back into the ground. All his muscles felt like jelly and they wouldn’t obey him. He felt so useless as he leaned against the wall and tried to get his legs to respond to his commands.

After a while, and much trying, he managed to walk somewhat normally up to a ladder that he hoped would lead him to the surface. He pushed open the sewer entrance and climb out. He turned once to check over the manhole he crawled out of before he collapsed on the ground, breathing strained and muscles shaking from overused. Two weeks wouldn’t doing anything would apparently do that to a person. Every step he had taken had felt like miles.

Julian laid on the ground, breathing evening, as he tried to regain his strength back. He didn’t care if a car passed on by and ran over him, at the moment he was too tired to move from where he had landed. He stared up at the quiet darkness that was the night, every little star voidable to him with his new senses. He closed his eyes, recalling that he had died staring at those exact same stars. The pain was still so fresh to him.

He couldn’t believe he had died. He wasn’t surprised, he never would be surprised if he had died at such a young age, but to be brought back twice in a lifetime was crazy for him. He knew he would forever be a breath away from his death with the life he was living. There was a demon after him and that was just enough caused to know he would die young. His death would be near no matter where he went or who he changed himself into, but to be brought back by something demonic was so ironic. He had tired taken his life once to escape the siren call of the demon, only just to have it brought back by the demon he was bound to. He learned early on how useless that method was. A second time would be now different if only he had managed to stay dead.

And now here was again, breathing and something completely not human. What did Pennywise do to him? Julian knew that whatever it was must have altered him. His senses were heighten to an amazing level. It was annoying, he wasn’t used to being able to sense everything so clearly. He wondered what else had changed.

“You Okay, Mister?” Called a voice from beside him. Julian twisted his head to look up at a small kid holding a football looking down at him with curiosity and concern.

“I’m fine, thanks,” He rasped out. The kid continued to stare at him, eyes never leaving Julian’s. “Where are we?”

The kid turned to look around. He looked back at Julian and shrugged. “Uh, just down 29 Neibolt Street.”

Julian groan. He was so far away from the house. He turned to look back up at the start. What time was it for a little kid to be out walking around at night. He turned back to stare at the little boy who was still watching him. The little boy smiled at him before looking around again. When his gaze returned to Julian he tilted his head to the side.

“Do you need help?” The kid asked again, shifting awkwardly as he watched Julian try to stand up. Julian wave the kid away, fighting the need to flop back on the ground again.

“ I’m good, thank you,” He responded, wincing as he took a few steps forward. He looked down at his legs, which wouldn’t obey his commands as he moved forward away from the manhole.

“You sure?” The kid asked again, giggling when Julian’s legs wobbled. Julian smiled a little before stumbling along, the kid close beside him watching him struggle. He flushed as he heard the kid laugh and giggle at his unbalanced state. He didn’t pay much attention to the kid once he saw his house coming up.

The kid followed him until he reached the house, the kid gave him one last wave before running off to his house. Julian watched him, curious as to why he would be out late alone, before heading to his house. He started at the house, same old worn appearance a very welcoming sight as he made hits way up the pathway. He wanted to be inside, shower and rest, before tackling the problem of his now nonhuman state. He reached for the door, only to be burned when he touched the door handle. He startled, backing away from the door that burned him and hissing. He glanced down at his hand, watching the once unharmed skin turn red and steaming, as if he touched something extremely hot.

Suddenly the door flew open, a confused and ready Dave came out. Dave halted just outside of the doorway, pointing a gun at him with a gaze determined to kill. He’s eyes widen, taking him in and frowning. He looked around, gun still at ready. His eyes made their way back to Julian, who was rubbing his burnt hand.

“Julian?” Dave asked surprised, gun lowering as he took in Julian’s state.

“Dave!” He moved forward, trying to step through the doorway only to feel the burning sensation again. He hissed, backing away and looking in confusion at Dave.

Dave flung the gun right back up, pointing it at him. He stared him down, eyes full of suspicion as Julian tried to enter the house. He narrowed his eyes at every little moment Julian made. “What are you?”

“Dave it’s me!”

Beth showed up carrying a bible and some water in a bottle, most likely holy water. She took in the situation and narrowed her eyes at Julian as well.

“Julian?”

“Beth, I can’t get in.”

Dave and Beth shared a look.

“Julian, that means you’re not human…”

“I know something…something happened to me.”

“Julian,” Beth continued, looking away sadly. “It means you’re demonic.”

“We need to kill him,” Dave stated, cutting off Beth and Julian’s conversation.

Julian backed away immediately from the both of them. “Kill me?”

Beth smiled sadly at him. “It’s better for you if you’re no longer living, Julian.”

“What, no,” Julian shook his head, backing away as they continued to stare at him.

“It’s better if you weren’t let loose on the people, Julian,” Dave said, advancing. “I promise I’ll make it as painless as possible.”

Julian shook his head, eyes glowing amber as they changed into cat slits. He felt his teeth sharpen as he hissed at Dave and Beth. Dave and Beth froze in surprise. He used the small opportunity to rush away, running down the street to escape them. He forced his legs to move accordingly as he escaped them. He didn’t stop until he felt safe, far away from their judgmental eyes.

Should he be surprised? What did he expect from them? They were two religious followers that followed their code to a T. One had been tricked and the other had lost someone important. They hunted demons down and killed them, what made him think that his situation would be different. He was now demonic, and they hunted demonic beings.

He leaned against a tree, breathing heavily as he slid down and tried to calm down. What did this mean for him? He wasn’t human, the only people he trusted wanted to kill him, Pennywise had abandoned him, he wasn’t sure if Abanus would return once he found out he was still alive, and now to top it all off he was starting to get very very hungry.

 _Could it possibly get any worse?_  
 


	14. Hunger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (O....O)
> 
> .
> 
> *Spelling errors* 
> 
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“You look almost dead, are you okay?”

He looked up to find the kid from earlier staring at him again, eyes wide with concern. The little boy’s eyes gleamed against the light of the lamppost bedside the tree Julian had decide to collapse down on. Julian glanced around trying to see if he could find the kid’s parents, but he found the street empty except for him and the little before him. He turned his gaze back to the little boy, who had decided to move closer to Julian. He smiled when he saw Julian watching him.

“You again?” Julian wondered, sitting up a little from the slouch he had taken after collapsing. He winced when the pain from earlier returned as well. His legs felt like jelly as he tried to move up. “Shouldn’t you be at home? Where are your parents?”

“I don’t know,” the boy said smiling, blue eyes shinning brightly in amusement. They glanced around the empty street as if to search for the parents they were speaking of. “I can’t seem to remember.”

“What?”

The little boy sat down, his blonde hair moving in the wind as he shrugged. His eyes gleamed again as he glanced up at the lamppost. His eyes moved back to Julian, amusement filled his eyes.

“I don’t know, really. I don’t remember much.”

Julian sat forward, reaching for the kid with one hand. When his hand touched the kid it went through him. He jerked back when the image of the kid blurred, as if he were disrupting a reflection on the surface of water.

“What?”

“I think,” the kid began softly, blue eyes gleaming brightly again. “I don’t think I’m alive.”

Julian leaned away from the ghost kid before him. Those eyes seemed to gleam a lot. Stranger, he had seen this eyes before. They were so familiar.

“How …why am I able to see you then” if you’re a ghost, should I not be able to see you?” Julian leaned forward away towards the him. He moved his eyes up and down, trying to see how real the kid look. When the kid stood still he look very real and alive, but from time to time when he moved or talked he would dissolved a little revealing his true nature. He looked normal however, like a normal kid when he looked real and solid. How could he be dead and why was Julian able to see him?

“I don’t know. It was weird, I remember being dead… then I awoke and something drew me towards you.” He explained, shrugging his small shoulders. His faced twisted into a frown as his gaze went hazy. He smiled after a while, eyes returning back to focus on Julian. “What little I remember is that I was asleep, somewhere cold, wet and dark. Then I felt something tugging me here, something powerful and familiar. It drew me towards you.”

“That’s very strange. Are you sure you don’t remember anything at all?” Julian couldn’t believe that there was now a ghost of some lost boy following him around.

“I think I should remember, there something important that I forgot, but I can’t seem to remember it,” he said scowling and getting lost in thought again. The kid wrinkled up his nose as he lost himself inside his mind, eyes going back up to the lamppost.

Julian took the time to study the kid as he was lost in his own mind trying to decider his past. He took notice of his blonde hair and blue eyes as they danced around the trees. Julian felt that something was very familiar about the little boy before him, it was like he had seen him from somewhere before.

“What’s your name?” The kid asked suddenly, shaking his head as if it held shake away his thoughts. His blue eyes returned to Julian.

Julian jumped at the sudden gaze of the kid. He leaned away as he answer the boys question. “Julian, and yours?”

“Don’t remember,” they little boy said with a forced smile.

“I think–ugh,” Julian cried, hugging his stomach as hunger pains raked through him, his earlier hunger now rearing it’s angry head again. He winced, pressing his hand down his stomach at the feeling. He felt so hungry, like he hadn’t eaten in years.

“I think something is wrong,” the little blonde kid stated, eyes filled with concern at him. “Maybe you should go seek some help?”

“Seek help-agh!” Julian curled into himself as the pain continued. He bit down on his hand as the pain grew. Once it passed he glared up at the small boy. “Help from who?!”

The boy open his mouth, closing it as he seemed out of sorts. He pursed his lips in thought, looking around as he thought of his answer.

“Oh! The clown?” He finally told him, smiling at his answer.

Julian blanch at the idea. He jerked away from the boy, the idea seeing so offensive. The last thing he wanted to do right now was go see that idiot clown that didn’t let him die in peace!

“Fuck that clowaaahh!” He curled in on himself again, the hunger pains turning into cramps the longer he argued with the boy. He needed to find food now!

“It’ll only get worse,” he groan, twitching when another hunger pain hit him. He glanced up at the boy and froze as he caught the little boy watching with eerie blue eyes. The boy seemed to notice before he forced another smile and his eyes lighten, blue gleaming again in the light.   
“I would still go to the clown. I saw you with him, down in the sewers, before you came up here.”

Julian was taken aback by the confession. How long had the strange little boy been watching him? How had Julian not noticed until now?  
  
“I’m so hungry,” he cried, curing in pain forgetting his thoughts for a moment. “I can’t think, I need to eat something.”

Julian struggle to stand, clutching his stomach as he took a few shaky steps forward to find a place to eat. The little blonde boy followed behind him, humming softly as Julian struggled with his own body to move forward. Julian paid no attention to the boy as he leaned against a tree to rest his pain filled body.

“There’s a store a few streets from here,” the boy supplied, keeping a safe distance from Julian, who had doubled over in pain next to the tree he had decided to rest on.

Julian waved the boy with his hand, acknowledging his help. He twisted in pain, hitting his head against the tree to distract his mind from the hunger growing stronger inside himself.

“Why does it hurt so much? It feels like I haven’t eaten anything in years!”

“Maybe it has something to do with the reason you can see me?”

Julian glanced at the boy through pain filled eyes. He cursed Pennywise again for what he did to him. He didn’t want to be alive! He wanted to die and that stupid clown had to go and ruin even that! He felt like breaking down and crying at his miserable luck. Even his death was controlled by some else and not his own.

Should he be grateful that he was not dead? Maybe he was being to much of a baby and should just go to the damn clown and thank him for not allowing him to die. He didn’t really have anything to live for, however. All his life was filled with darkness and chaos at every turn. He was so confused. Was this something that he truly needed? It just seemed to be making his life a bigger mess than it already was. He didn’t even know if Abanus would come back for him once he discovered his little “Jewel” was alive and well. Damn it! His life just kept getting more complicated.

“I feel as if my life keeps getting stranger and stranger the longer I stay in this godforsaken town,” Julian voiced, wincing as the pain he had forgot for a moment returned tenfold. He wonder once again if he should just jump off a cliff somewhere to end his misery. If he had reason before now he had even more.

“So is mine, I’m supposed to be dead,” the little boy said, smiling sadly. “I can’t even remember who I was or if I had a family. Did I have a family.”

“I’m sorry,” Julian wince for a different reason now. He seemed so selfish compared to the little boy, who didn’t remember anything at all about himself.

“Don’t be, it isn’t your fault, really. What you cannot remember shouldn’t burden you,” he whispered, looking off to the side, the words muttered as if he had said them to himself many times.

Julian watched him as he trembled a little, his image dissolved at the edges as he moved about.  
  
“We should find you help,” the boy said cutting e the awkward silence that had befallen them.

At the words of the other, his body seemed to take joy in reminding him of his pain. He groan, pressing his arms into his stomach.

“Where is the clown?” The boy asked again, raising an eyebrow at Julian’s obvious pain.

“Like hell I’m going to go that clown!” Julian cried, hitting his head against the tree a little harder than before. He was sure that his forehead would be bleeding by the end of the trip.

“You’re going to die,” he tssked, following Julian again as he continued his slow tread. Julian shot him a glare which tuned into a wince.

“I’ve already been dead, twice.” He commented, waving away the thought of death. “I’m sure some unforeseen force of who knows what will bring back my dead ass if I die. Just my luck, really.”

The boy ignored his added comment, letting out a long exasperated sigh at Julian’s expense. “This time you will be dead for real.”

“So let me die, damn it! I don’t need help from anyone, especially that stupid idiot, badly dressed clown!”

The boy decided to stay quiet this time as Julian grumbled against another tree about stupid clown, and reasons he should have let them die whenever they went into his room when he was just trying to sleep. The kid rolled his eyes when Julian decided to go into detail about what he would do to the clown if he ever saw him again.

He continued his slow walk towards his goal of food, spewing comments in intervals about idiot clowns and hunger pains. The sun began its slow ascend across the horizon as Julian continued his slow march towards the store, stopping every now and then to moan and rest as the pain grew more intense. By the time Julian seemed to reached the store, morning had arrived and people were out and about in the streets. Some would turn to look at Julian, who on occasion would slump over next to a wall breathing hard and groaning while others would completely ignore him, choosing to walk by as quickly as they could.

His journey , which should have been a short distance, seemed like it would last forever. He just wanted some food! It should not take almost all of the night (morning?) to reach a store just around the corner. It seemed that he was taking longer getting closer to the store, he was having to stop more and more, but once he reached it he walked inside looking for some food.

His mouth watered a little at the sight of food, but it wasn’t as appealing as it should be with the amount of hunger he was feeling. He shrugged it off, deciding that once he was full he could worry about the little perils of his situation later. The little boy stopped beside him, looking at some candy in wonder.

“I don’t have money,” he hissed to the child beside him, realizing that even though he had reached the store, he had no way of paying for the food he wanted and so desperately needed.

“Steal some food?” The kid offered lamely, wincing when Julian doubled over agin, clutching a shelf beside him. He bit his lips to keep the groan from reaching the other costumers inside the store. He didn’t need to draw attention to himself more than he already had.

“I can just steal food!” He hissed lowly so no one else would hear him. Boy shrugged, looking around frantically for a solution. He opened his mouth to offer help when he was cut off by another voice.

“Julian?” asked the voice behind him. Julian jumped at the sudden addition of another.

Julian slowly turned to take in a Eddie and his friend, Richie, gathered around looking at him in confusion.

Julian forced a smile on his face, trying to straighten up from his slouch, only to wince in pain. He forced his arms away from his stomach, fist clenched tightly at his sides. He was sure he looked like a smiling maniac to Eddie and his friend.

“Who are you talking to?” Eddie asked, looking off to where Julian had hissed at and finding nothing but empty air. He scowled, give Richie a look.

“Told you he was crazy,” Richie whispered, loud enough to be heard. He smirked at Julian, watching the other ignore the comment he made.

“Uh, myself?” Julian supplied, wincing at the lame excuse. He forced another smile out as he felt another cramp rack his body.

“Where have you been?” Eddie frowned, ignoring a snickering Richie. He shot Richie a brief warning glance, telling him to shut it.

Richie slammed his mouth shut but didn’t stop from smirking at Julian, who had been staring off into space for a while leaving Eddie’s question unanswered.

“Eddie, I think he’s finally lost it,” Richie whispered lowly to Eddie coughing to hide his laugh from the dazed teenager before them. He didn’t want his boyfriend to give him the cold shoulder for mocking his friend. “Not that he’s ever been there fully.”

“Richie, shut up will you!” Hissed Eddie at his boyfriend, hitting him on the arm. He gave Richie one last look before turning to a whispering Julian, he kept shaking his head and looking off to the side. Eddie was starting to get really worried about his aloof friend, who he hadn’t seen in the past month. Once the excitement of summer had ended and the upcoming start of the new school had settled in Eddie and wondered about his older friend, who hadn’t shown up for school like the rest of the others.

Here he was now, skinner than before and eyes shifting suspiciously from side to side as if something was bothering him. He felt bad for forgetting Julian. He hadn’t meant to not visit him, but the last time he had tried the other had refused to leave his home. Maybe he should have been more persistent in trying to reach the older teenager. It seemed in the short, long really, time he had been left alone he had gone and went a little mad.

Eddie tried to not feel as guilty as he actually was.

“Julian?” He asked again, backing a little away when dark amber eyes snapped to him, narrowing into a frown. Was there something different about Julian other than his strange behavior and unkept appearance?

“Eddie?” Julian asked, shaking his head. His eyes widen as he gazed into Eddie’s own chocolate brown eyes. “What did you asked again?”

“Are you okay, Julian?” Eddie tried again, concern rising at the lost look in Julian’s eyes. His eyes drifted off again to the side. He scowled, wincing and finally returning his gaze to Eddie with an obvious forced smile.

“Fine,” Julian replied sharply, grin just as sharp as his reply. “Just…hungry.”

“You could–”

“I don’t have the time now, Eddie.” Julian eyes flickered around the store as he cut Eddie off. He gave the other a one last small wave, ignored Eddie after that before moving around whispering to himself. Eddie watched the older teen twitch and wince as he walked around the store.

Richie gave the weird teenager a huff, drawing a hurt Eddie in and ushering him out of the store away from the strange acting Julian.

“Something is wrong with him,” Eddie told Richie once they were outside away from Julian. He glanced back a the store in concern.

“Yeah, he’s missing a few screws in the head, Eddie,” Richie casually said, wincing when Eddie hit him again.

“Richie.”

“I’m only telling the truth. Julian’s always been weird, even before you got all buddy buddy with him.” He tried to make the other remember how Julian would always disappear for long periods of time. Or how weird and unnatural his eyes were.

Eddie brushed off all of Richie’s comments. “No, that’s not it. He’s never acted that way before now. It’s like he’s a totally different person now.”

“He’s just weird.” Richie tried again, sighing when his boyfriend kept on about the other teenager. He really didn’t like that creepy teen. He gave Richie weird vibes.

“It’s more than that. We need to help him.”

Eddie rubbed his arm in thought. How to help Julian?

“He told us to leave him alone. He’s probably just hormonal.” Richie scowled when he noticed his boyfriend not letting the subject go. He had a feeling he was going to be seeing more of the creepy teenager now.

“Richie.” He warned again, frowning at his boyfriend’s attitude towards Julian. He never understood why Richie was so against Julian. It wasn’t as if he was dangerous or anything. Julian was nice and there didn’t seem to be a reason to be so wary of him like the others were.

“I’m just saying. Guy barely leaves his house and now he’s acting all fidgety and crap. That guy is bound to have a few pent up emotions in his head. Leave him alone, Eddie. He’ll be fine.”  
  
Eddie sighed, allowing his boyfriend to drag him off towards Bill’s house. He let Richie distracted him, his mind going off of Julian for a little while. He just prayed that he didn’t come to regret not helping Julian like before. He would try to talk to Richie about helping the other later.

 

 

———

 

 

“They seemed nice,” the little boy said, poking at the leaf stuck in a spiderweb besides where Julian was now laying down stuffing his face with random things he stole from the store.

After some help from the little boy, who had caused some things to fall on the other side of the store, Julian got his hands on some food. Julian had decided to lead them away to a secluded area away from prying eyes. Once sure no one would be watching them, he had then proceeded to stuff his face and relief his hunger.

Julian hummed in respond, continuing to eat, mind solemnly focus on food and nothing else. Once the food ran out he sprawled himself on the ground, staring up at the slowly coloring leaves of the woods around him. The wind teased the leaves as the spiraled down into the ground around him, signaling the changing of the season.

“Is your hunger satisfied?”

Julian ponder the question. He still felt a little hungry, not like before where it had caused him unbearable pain, more like a dull ache in the back of his mind. He could ignored it for now, he would have to look for food later on once he got more hungry again. Instead, he glanced at the boy beside him, who had ignore the spider to look at him with curious blue eyes. They sparkled in amusement, the innocence of youth behind the sky blue eyes of the blonde watching him. Julian swore he had seen those eyes before. Maybe in a poster of a missing child before the “Losers Club” killed Pennywise?

“I feel better.,” he finally answered the kid’s question.

The kid hum a soft tune, helping Julian’s tired mind drift off.

“That’s good.” Was the last thing he heard as his eyes, heavy with sleep, slid close. He could still feel the light of the day behind his eyelids as his mind went into a peaceful rest, the sun rising higher in the sky above as he slept.

When he awoke again, his hearting beating fast in anticipation, the sun had lowered in the sky, reds and oranges mixed with pinks coated the sky as the sun said one last goodbye to the world. The soft chirping of birds and forest animals going back to their dens filled his ears as he drifted from sleep to awareness. Something had woken him up from his small rest. His body snapped up at the sound of footsteps on the leaf covered ground. Laughter and giggles reached him as he stood up, mind awake at the sudden intrusion.

Who was dumb enough to go into the woods at night?

“Stop, Jared,” came a high female’s voice, followed by a giggle. He held his breath as he heard them walk closer to where he had chosen to hide.

“Get a room, will you two!” Giggled another voice, this time there was more footsteps as they got closer, the laughter sounding more close than before.

Julian stood up, leaning against the tree as a sudden wave of nausea hit him. He swayed as the group of teenagers came into view. They saw him leaning against the tree, the girls, two of them, screamed before giggling nervously at the sight of Julian. The three guys with them gave Julian a hard stare as they approached near him, stopping a good safe distance away from him.

Another wave of nausea hit him, making him retch. The girls jerked away as he closed doubled over, his arms wrapping around his stomach as his body confined to try to expel the food he ate earlier.

“Whoa, what’s wrong with you?” Asked one of the girls. She wrinkled her nose when Julian continued gagging. She shared a look with her friend, who was making a disgusted face at Julian.

“Someone’s had too much to drink, apparently,” one of the guys added as Julian threw up the little food he had inside him.

The group voiced their distaste at the scene of him throwing up. The girls voicing more than the guys. One girl in particular watched with concern in her eyes. She bit her lip to try and keep her concern thoughts inside. The others made some jokes before deciding that the other teenager throwing up wasn’t much interest to them.

“Anyways,” came another guy, trying to steer the girls away from Julian, who had finished throwing up to lean against the tree moaning in pain as the hunger from before rose again. The hunger was more ferocious than before, the smells of the others around him reaching his sensitive nose.

“Shouldn’t we help him?” Voiced the girl who had watched Julian with concern. She slowed down when they were closer to Julian, trying to decide whether to help or not.

“Nah, let the guy be, Rose,” a guy said, trying again to drag her away from the sick teenager. “Don’t want you to catch that dude’s sickness.”

Just as they were passing the wind drifted towards Julian. He sniffed as the wind blew their scents towards him, the smell of peppermint and rosemary filled his senses as the group walked by him. His amber eyes narrowed to cat-slits in hunger. He looked up as the girl with the unusual scent passed by him, light brown doe eyes meeting his and widening in fear at the sight of the demonic cat like eyes staring at her with hunger.

Julian didn’t feel himself moving, he didn’t feeling anything until his sharp canine teeth dug deep into the pale neck of the brown eyed girl, cutting off her startled scream before going limp as the life left her body. The group left screamed at the sight of their friend’s neck being torn by the pale blonde stranger. They stumble away screaming, leaving their complain alone with Julian, too scared to fight back to defend their fallen friend.

Julian let the girl droop as he lowered them to the ground, shifting her so her front faced him. He pulled back from her neck, sniffing at the peppermint and rosemary scent emitting from her. It made his mouth water, watching her terrified eyes stare into his, instinct doing all the work as he brought one of his hands up to her bleeding throat, hand glowing as something inside her was forced out of her body and into his hand. Her once doe brown eyes dulled to a grey, life leaving her body as her skin dulled and all that was left was a tattered lifeless body on the ground.

In his hand Julian held a blue white orb of light. It spiked and moved around as he bright it closed to his face, the smell of peppermint and rosemary stronger and more mouth watering than before. He quickly shoved the orb into his mouth, swallowing it whole in one gulp. He sighed when the pained hunger left him and only the feeling of satisfaction was left behind. Julian looked down on the girl, remorse filling him for a moment.

He didn’t wish to kill her, but whatever his instincts had down the hunger from before was now gone and he felt better.

“You took her soul.”

He jerked up to see the little blonde oh staring at him sadly, eyes drawing towards the body of the dead girl, who laid on the ground staring blankly up at the sky above.

“Her soul?”

“Yes, that glowing orb you step, it was her soul. That’s why her body is like that.”

“I don’t understand.”

“She won’t go to heaven anymore or hell. She’ll be stuck inside you, turned into energy slowly and once you feel hungry again, you’ll feed on another and another,” the boy explained with a sad expression.

“I don’t want to do that !” Julian shoved himself away from the body of the dead girl.

The boy stayed where he was, staring at Julian now with his blue eyes. “It’s not about wanting anymore. This is what you are now.”

“I can starve myself.” Julian nodded, determined not to take another life. He didn’t want to be a monster. He didn’t want to turn into what Abanus was, a sick monster that only took and never gave.

“I’m afraid not,” the boy said, moving closer to Julian stepping over the dead body. “Now that you have fed and know you instincts won’t allow you to die. If you starve yourself your body will take over and force you to look for a meal or worse, make you kill more people than necessary.”

“How do you know so much?”

The boy shrugged. Julian held back the urge to snap at the boy. Why was everyone around him always shrugging at him? Couldn’t they form a proper answer?

“I don’t know. I just do,” he said with a twisted smile. “We should go before more come,” he continued, walking away from Julian and the body of the dead girl. He glanced one last time at the girl before waving to Julian to follow him. “I might know something that can help you.”

“What?”

“Just follow me.”


	15. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch for them spelling and grammar errors.....eh, sorry. 
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> I plan to finish the story before the new year, but my plans are like my pancakes. Flaky. Yumm. 
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> I already have an idea for the second part *insert crazy smile*.

Following a ghost of a dead boy into the woods was up there with following Pennywise into the sewers. Not one of his brightest moments, but who was there to judge Julian as he made another of his ridiculously dumb decisions? Julian wanted to say that whatever Pennywise turned him into had made him graceful, but his stumbles and falls down in branches to the ground said otherwise.

“You know,” Julian said after his tenth fall, staring up at the trees above. “I’ve noticed I have the bad habit of being lured into creepy place by even creepier people. No offense.”

“You also have the habit of attracting the wrong attention,” the boy replied with a annoyed voice, shooting Julian a bored expression. For most of the trip, the little boy had kept quiet, commenting every now and then on how Julian had the grace of a bull. Julian should have felt insulted, but the little boy’s annoyed expression was just too fun to get mad at.

“I can’t help it, sometimes bad things just come my way,” he joked, using a sapling to stand up from his most recent fall. He rubbed his back, which had taken most of the hits and stabs from his falls, along with his knees and hands.

The boy just rolled his eyes, ignoring Julian’s whines and whimpers as he rubbed his sore hands together.

Julian smiled at the boy’s face, getting a small smile in return.

“I need to give you a name. I keep calling you ‘boy’ in my head and it’s making me feel weird.”

“I don’t mind if you give me a name.” He glanced back to make sure Julian was following him before continuing on.

Julian stayed silent as he thought on some names to give the mystery ghost of the little boy. What would be a good name to give him? What name do you give someone that is already dead and doesn’t remember their name?

“I’ll just call you Jack.” He decided after thinking it through. Jack was a simple name, but a good name.

Obvious he thought the same too by the look he shot Julian. “How original.”

“It’s not like you have a name to begin with,” he defended, avoiding a branch and tripping. He managed to catch himself against a tree before he fell, earning an exasperated sigh from his companion.

The boy, newly named Jack, huffed before smiling at Julian. “I guess you’re right.”

He watch Julian struggle to straighten himself back up, suppressing laughter as Julian got hit by a tree branch.

“Where are we going anyways?” Julian asked, rubbing his forehead and swatting at the branch that had smacked him in the face.

Jack waved his hand, laughing before motioning Julian coward. He pointed up ahead to the invisible trail he was making them follow. Julian stepped around the branch, glaring at it as he follow Jack, who was making his way through the trail.

He grumbled when he noticed that Jack phased through the tree branches and bushes blocking the trail. He was the one dealing with trees smacking him in the face.

“There’s this house that was abandoned near Derry, one the edge of the town line. I went towards it when you were napping, before you killed the girl, and found something interesting that you’ll probably find useful.”

“At this point in my miserable life I’d find anything useful,” He mutter, dodging another branch. He glowered at the trees around him, wishing he could cut them down.

Jack gave him another look, eyes narrowing in irritation.

“I can see why you and the clown go great together.”

“I suddenly feel very offended.”

“Good.”

Before Julian could fire back something else for the little insult Jack gave him they reached the house. He assumed this was the house Jack had mentioned, considering that it look abandoned for the most part. It was surprisingly still in perfect condition for a house that was abandoned in the middle of nowhere in the woods. There were some vines that were growing over the house that gave it an eerie look that came with being left unattended in the woods.

He wasn’t going to go inside another crack house. The one in Neibolt Street was bad enough, he wasn’t going to commit the same mistake twice and stroll into this one.

He stay far away from the entrance, eyeing the house for any creepy clowns that could pop out any second and scare him. “Is this It?”

“Yes, this is where I wandered off to. There is something weird about this house,” Jack said, standing outside the broken doorway of the house, staring with a melancholy expression on his face. He stared into the darkness, blue eyes lost to something Julian couldn’t see. “I feel like the answers are inside there.”

“Maybe this is where you died? That would explain the reason you found this,” Julian voiced, getting closer to the house and eyeing inside with caution. He jerked when he saw something move, only to sigh in relief to find out it was just the wind rustling the leaves piled inside. “You did say you were attracted to it?”

“It’s more than that,” Jack said. “It’s like there’s something else missing. A part of me that is gone and I need to remember why and I think it might be inside here.”

“Then let’s go check inside,” he said going inside, watching every shadow with caution. Surprisingly, the house was in a lot better condition inside than the outside. Just like the outside there where a couple vines growing, but other than the vines and the occasional pile of leaves everything seemed in pristine condition.

“Seems normal enough,” he told Jack, roaming the inside of the house.

Jack reluctantly followed him inside, acting more wary of the house than Julian. He took tentative steps towards him, eyeing the walls of the house as he walked to where Julian was standing. Julian stood in the middle of the house, surveying it from a central point.

“This house gives me the creeps,” he whispered to Julian, scooting closer to him as Julian went about inspecting the house. He moved things around, the sound louder than it should be.

Jack winced at every sound.

“It does have a strange vibe,” he agreed, going into the next room after not finding what he was looking for in the first one.

Julian poked his head inside the empty room before moving on to the next one and doing the same.

“You should check the basement,” Jack interrupted his inspection. Jack stared at an empty picture frame, scowling as he stared. “I feel like that’s where the answers will be at.”

“Right, always the creepy basements,” he joked, going to where Jack was. He glanced at the empty picture, before heading to the doorless entrance of the basement they had passed earlier. Jack gave him a wary smile, following him as he went down the wooden steps towards the basement.

“Creepy basements.”

Jack hummed in agreement.

“Seems normal enough,” he said when he reached the bottom of the stairs.

The basement looked like any other basement, except for all the bookshelves lining the walls. The shelves themselves where filled with books of various sizes, some looking older than others.

Jack walked around the room, sticking close to the walls as he inspected the books. Julian went to the other side, trying to read the worn titles of each book.

Were they written in Latin? He thought, squinting at a title that was just symbols.

“One of these must be helpful,” Jack said, reading each of the covers.

Julian followed his example, ignoring the strange titled ones and going around and reading the spines of each book he could understand.

“How do you know one of these books will contain the answers to my problem?” He asked Jack after a few min sites of silence had passed. Jack was crouch down in front of a shelf, inspecting the books.

Jack titled his head to look up at Julian, who was above him reading the titles of the books where he couldn’t reach.

“This used to be a hunter’s house. Like the two adults that almost killed you. It has the same feeling to it.”

“But I couldn’t enter Dave’s and Beth’s house. It was warded,” Julian pulled out a random book and opened it, quickly closing it as he read the title.

‘Ways to Kill Demons’. No thank you. He shoved the books back to its place, moving on to the next book.

“This house once had those same wards like theirs did, but over time they have been worn down. There wasn't anyone around to keep reapplying them so there isn’t any protection here like the one your friend’s house has. That is why we can enter this house and not your friend’s.”

“They’re not exactly my friends now.” He stared blankly at a title as he recalled being almost shot by Dave.

Jack stood, he gave Julian a grim smile. His eyes shifted to his left and he pointed at a book.

“Here, this one seems promising.”

Julian turned, pulling out the books to read its title.

Guide to Changelings .

“Well if that isn’t so obvious I don’t know what is.”

He opened the book to the index and began reading the chapter titles out loud.

“What’s is a Changeling, nope. How to kill a Changeling, hell no. Eating habits, yikes. Oh, here we go, types of Changelings.” He skip through the unwanted sections to the one he wanted to read.

“It looks lot a lot,” Jack said, pointing to the list written down on the first page of the section.

“Better get comfortable,” Julian said, sitting down beside the shelf to start reading. Jack hummed and sat beside him. He looked over Julian’s shoulder to read along side him.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“…in conclusion, the Reaper Changelings are a much simple minded creature, focused only on doing their Master’s bidding without question and only surviving on their Master’s blood.”

“That sounds horrible. Worse than the others we have looked over so far,” Jack commented, making a face at the description.

Julian agreed, glad that he wasn’t one of those and moved on to the next one below the Reaper.

“Soul Eaters,” he read out loud, flipping through some pages.

“You ate a soul, maybe this is you,” Jack said straightening up at the prospect of finally discovering what Julian was. “Go on, continue.”

“Soul Eaters are Changelings brought back from the dead by the demon. Their soul is changed to immortality by tying itself to their Master’s own soul and securing their hold on the world of the living through them. A Soul Eater must continued to feed on the souls of other humans or demons to live when it is first awakened. Since a Soul Eater’s life is tied to that of his Master, their instincts will force them to reside along side them, and should they stray far the consequences become noticeable. After proper attachment, It soon becomes painful for the Soul Eater to stray far from their Master and their hunger will intensify to accommodate the fact that their body is apart from that of their current soul holder. The longer apart them more they have to feed on other souls to survive.

Death is possible for a Soul Eater if their current Master wishes to get rid of them, however the processes is painful for the Soul Eater and the demon. It has been studied by various hunters that Soul Eaters form a stronger bond than any of the other Changelings. Some have wondered if it is because of the Mark they bare on their neck,” Julian’s hand went to the mark he knew was on his neck. The same mark Pennywise gave him when they had been busy getting busy in the room of the hospital they had visited. Which he still didn’t know why they went there for.

Julian continued to read, skipping some of the less important facts to the more serious ones he thought were more important. “There have been few reports of Soul Eaters, since the level of attachment from both parties is rare. They became more of a ‘wife’ to the demon they are attached to than a mindless underling like the other Changelings mentioned….In conclusion, Soul Eaters are rare, less seen than their counterpart, the Reapers, but one has to ask themselves if a Soul Eater is more of a ‘Mate’ to the demon for how strongly they are protected by said demon.”

Jack hummed, laughing at the part of Soul Eaters being a wife to a demon. “Wow, you just got promoted to wife.”

“Shut up!” Julian said, face flushing bright red.

Jack continued to laugh, clutching his stomach as he shook with amusement. Julian pouted putting the book down on the ground beside him. He no longer wanted to read what the rest of the book said about him.

“Wait, wait,” Jack said pointing to a section of the book. “Side note: Soul Eaters can reproduce, even if males, with their demon ‘Mate’.”

Julian stare in disbelief at the text. He grab the book and tossed it to the other side of the room. Jack rolled on the ground laughing his head off at the added information provided.

“That is not funny!” Julian buried his head in his knees, bemoaning his bad luck.

Great, not only did he discover he had to stick close to the clown to live normally, but he also could have the clown’s babies! He felt like crying. Did that mean his insides were that of a girl’s?! Was he going to start menstruating now?!

“That’s the funniest thing I have ever heard!” Jack’s body shook with laughter as he continued to laugh at Julian’s misery.

Julian’s face flushed bright red, both in anger and embarrassment, at his new found discovery. It was a lot of take in now than it was before. Maybe they were right about ignorance being bliss, since now that he knew he wanted to forget immediately.

“I just,” He trailed off looking in confusion at the book he had tossed away. “I don’t even know what to say anymore.”

Jack stopped laughed, but the look of amusement didn’t leave his eyes as he tried to reassure Julian that everything would be alright.

“On the bright side, we know what you are now. No more trying to guess,” he encouraged, rubbing tears from his face. How was he even able to cry if he was a ghost?

“I wished I didn’t know,” Julian whispered, looking pained at the revelation of what he was.

It wasn’t every day a normal—relatively normal—human woke up from death—their second death—and discovered they were now a demon that could breed babies from another demon. He guess it made some sort of sense to him if he thought really hard, and not as a normal human, about the biology of demons. Most demons, unless they were succubus, were male, those he had come across of course. Which were few, but the little time he spent researching the library of the Convent taught him enough to know that most demons were male. How did one species that was only male, with a few exceptions, produce children—spawn— if there was no female populist to help in doing so?

He scrunch up his nose in thought. Males could reproduce as well as the small amount of females that were thrown in the mix. Not all males, he guessed, since demons lived long and were so hard to kill there was no reason to make more competition for those were already in existence, but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t reproduce. It was like a safety measure in case their population went down unexpectedly for whatever reason. That still didn’t make Julian feel better about his situation. He just had to be one of those unlucky few to be turned into some sort of breeding demon.

Lost in thought he didn’t notice Jack’s emotions turn to bitterness until it was too late.

“If demons are real,” Jack began softly, laughter gone from his eyes and sadness replacing it, cutting into Julian’s thoughts. “Why haven’t I seen an angel before?”

Julian looked at the crestfallen face off the little boy beside him, guilt instantly making him forget about his own problems. He set his own troubles aside to comfort the little boy who at the moment seemed so lost and unsure about himself.

“I spent eight years in a Convent, you know. And every day I would ask myself that,” he said picking up the book he had tossed and opening it to a random page as he recalled those lonely days in the confined rooms of an empty Convent. “I used to think that I must have done something terrible to deserve what had happened to me, but I have a friend there who told me that it wasn’t my fault at all. Fate, she called it. Fate wanted something from me and this was its way of getting it. She would tell me, at night when I couldn’t sleep and was still young, that angels were just as bad as demons. Their world wasn’t all black and white like we would like to think. There is no good and evil for them. There just is, for them, the wrong and the right. If it meant saving million they wouldn’t hesitate killing one or a few humans to do so, but they stay dormant most of the time, silently watching everything, never doing anything to help. They believe that that’s the way we will learn so they never help because if they did we would reply to much on their help.”

“That just cruel!” Jack cried, tears running down his face. “How can they be better than demons?! They don’t help at all, so what is their point? To laugh at us while we suffer ?”

“They’re not here to help us, they’re here to judge us. To tell our worth and to carry out fate’s will. If you were to die of an accident, they would be there to watch and observe your last moments, to see if you are worthy to enter the Gates of Heaven.”

“If that was supposed to make me feel better it didn’t work,” Jack said burring his face in his knees.

“It wasn’t supposed to. It’s the truth and sometimes we don’t want to hear the truth,” Julian set the book down, closing it and scooting it away from himself. “I was lucky enough to be told the truth from my friend. She left some parts out, parts that she thought were to cruel to tell a child, but I had stop being a child long time before I came across her. She just made that truth a reality for me.”

“A child?” Jack looked up at him with curiosity in his eyes.

Julian turned his face away from those innocent blue eyes. He couldn’t bare to see them when he knew very well what his own eyes held inside.

“The only one who will help is you,” he whispered softly, recalling his past. “I was taken when I was nine by a demon. I was forced to do things and now I fear that there isn’t much good left in me or at all.”

“That not true!” Jack said with determination filling his eyes. He stared at the blonde turning his gaze from him. He felt a something surge inside him, growing and filling the part of him he thought were long forgotten. “You can’t think that! It doesn’t matter what you are now, what matter is what you can become.”

Julian looked back at the younger boy beside him, catching the fire inside his innocent eyes. “Some people are too far gone to be saved, Jack.”

“Anyone can be saved! There just needs to be hope. There is always a way,” he fought back, sitting up straighter as he made his point. “I know I don’t remember who I was before, or what I am here for, but I won’t let that stop me. It shouldn’t matter who I was before, what matter now is what I can be. And I’ll help you, Julian. I’ll help you, and that will be my purpose here.”

“I don’t like how that went really dark,” Julian commented, shifting moods as Jack’s enthusiasm caught on.

“Me either,” Jack smiled, blue eyes sparkling again. “Let’s shift on to more pleasant things, shall we?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, now that we know what you are, we should form a plan,” he said pointing to the books between them. “It pretty much told us you need human souls to live and if you stay far away from, Pennywise, you’ll need more so I say we find the clown and force him to keep you?”

“That a very bad idea!” He said scandalized. “If I go to Pennywise, that idiot stupid clown, I’ll get knocked up!”

“Then don’t get ‘knocked up’.”

“You don’t understand! It isn’t as if I want to, it’s just that–that whenever I’m with him I just–I don’t know how to explain it, but I just get urges,” he ended in a whispered eyes darting around, as if Pennywise was going to pop out any second.

Jack raised an eyebrow at the statement.

“Urges?”

“Yes, like I can’t help it, you know,” Julian felt his face flush at the confession. “I feel the need to be submissive around him, even if he works me up into such a frenzy, the anger turns into desire.”

“So you get hot and bother when you’re around the clown…” Jack looked confused, eyes crossing as he looked at Julian weirdly. “You have a thing for killer clowns?”

“No, gods, no! It’s only him, I swear!” Julian’s felt like dying of embarrassment, telling a little kid that a killer clown, child eater, made him horny. It was just wrong. “I would like to blame it on my previous ‘creator’, but I can’t because if it were so I would feel those same urges with any evil bastard that fit the description. It’s just Pennywise, really, he draws me in.”

“Soul Eater,” Jack muttered lowly with a smile on his face. “I think that’s what is making you attached to him. From what I gathered from our little reading is that every demon has an ability to change a human into a lesser demon, but each change is different depending on which demon is doing it. The demon in question can change a human, yes, but what the demon’s desire from the human is what changes the human to be that of what it desires more.”

“You’re telling me Pennywise, the Dancing Clown, wanted someone he could fuck,” Julian looked disgusted, and little freaked out.

Jack shook his head.

“No, what I’m saying is that what you’ve told me and what I have read, is that Pennywise is a lonely demon.”

“All demons are lonely.”

“Yes, but loneliness makes people do crazy things. I’m assuming that Pennywise was lonely, so his desire, even if he didn’t know it, was to find a companion of sorts, and I’m guessing demons don’t have girlfriends and boyfriends like we do, so they have ‘Mates’.”

“I think my brain is going to explode,” Julian rubbed his temples, eyes closing as he took in what Jack was telling him.

“You were already half changed, from the demon before, so Pennywise being the next big influence to your change made you a Soul Eater, which are considered a suitable ‘Mate’ in their world. They need souls to help with the new demon that will grow inside them.”

“Yep, my brain is frying.”

“I just feel really sad,” Jack said. “Pennywise , even if he is a monster, still needs someone to keep him company.”

Julian gaped at Jack’s words. “You’re feeling sympathy for him now? What about me? I’m not only part demon, but I can poop out babies now! How does that even work? Will I grow a vagina now?!”

“Don’t be ridiculously, Julian, I’m sure demons have their own way of having kids. They aren’t humans, after all.”

“I’m going to poop out babies! Demon babies!”

“Now you’re being dramatic.”

“What am I doing with my life?” Julian groan, flopping down on the dirty floor. “I just need to lay here and die!”

“Even if you wanted that,” Jack flipped another page in the book, eyes lit with glee as he read on. “Pennywise won’t allow you to die. It says here that demons are protective of their Soul Eaters. He’ll feel when you are close to death and try to save you. It’s all really instinctive for them.”

“I’m doomed.” He wailed.

“Quit being a baby Julian, it’s not as bad as you think.”

“Oh, you’re not the one attached to a demon clown, now.”

“On the brighter side do things, he can’t kill you, even if you of he wanted to. You have a part of him inside you, so killing you will be like killing a part of himself. He can do it, but the setbacks are very bad.”

“The Deadlights,” Julian mutter sitting up.

“What ?” Jack looked up from the page he was reading to stare at Julian.

“Pennywise said his physical form isn’t his actual form and that he’s made up of an energy called the Deadlights,” Julian explained.

“I don’t see how that makes a difference from what I just said.” Jack continued to read, humming lowly at the words.

How was he able to read when he looked so young? Ghost were weird.

“He said it made humans go insane from just staring at them.” Julian explained further, glancing at the book.

“That would explain why I feel my sanity slipping away the closer I stand next to your ridiculous self.”

“Hey!”

“Go on.”

“As I was saying, the Deadlights are, is whatever his actual body, that is who he really is, so that means he put some of that inside me.” Julian poked a his stomach, squinting to see if he could catch sight of the lights he had seen inside Pennywise. Were they inside him now?

“Ah, I see, so that means you might have some if his abilities so to speak,” Jack ponder the idea. “What abilities exactly does Pennywise have?”

“I don’t really know, he rarely talks about himself, and it’s not like he visited me much to talk about the weather and how he was,” Julian said, bitterness seeping into his tone. It was true, every time they were together they would end up fighting or clothes being thrown off.

Jack nodded.

“You should go seek him out, then. Soul Eaters needs to be next to their ‘Mate’.”

“I’m not going to that clown!”

“You’ll only kill more people for food if you don’t and I know you enough to know you’re not that type of person, Julian,” Jack sat up closing the book. “You need to go back or you’ll start killing people for their souls. And the longer and farther away you stay from Pennywise the more people you’ll need to kill.”

Julian grind his teeth in anger and frustration, mostly frustration. He didn’t want to go back to Pennywise, who’s greeting into the world again had been rude. He knew he was acting like a child, but he couldn’t help but feel rejected by how easily Pennywise dismissed him, tossing him aside when he didn’t showing gratitude for being saved. Some deeper part of himself knew that if what he had just discovered was true, then Pennywise must have felt rejected by his ‘mate’ as well and had lashed out in anger and self defense.

Could Julian really blame him? The demon part of him, the part that was now forever latched to Pennywise, wanted to curl up and whimper at their hurtful words towards their ‘Mate’, but the human side wanted to lash out and attacked Pennywise for turning them into a breeding thing. He was so conflicted at what he should be doing now. He wanted to go to Pennywise and curl up next to him, but he always wanted to be far away from him.

There was also the fact that if he did stay away from Pennywise he would have to kill people to live and if he didn’t Pennywise would just find him and force him to live. He was stuck now.

“I don’t know what to do,” he confessed, eyes closing as he thought hard.

Jack scooted closer to him, looking for words to tell him.

“Do you wish to be close to Pennywise?”

“I don’t know.”

“I won’t judge if you decide to stay away and eat souls for the rest of your life, Julian. I just think it’ll be hard on you to do what you did to that girl for the rest of you life.”

“I don’t want to become a monster,” he whispered, opening his eyes. “But I don’t want to be forced to live the rest of my life with a monster.”

“Hey, you don’t know Pennywise,” Jack said, trying to help Julian out in his decision. “We don’t really know him, but a part of him want someone, Julian. Wouldn’t you too if you spent half of eternity alone with no one around? I’m not saying he’s a good guy, or a saint, I’m just thinking out loud, that maybe even monsters deserve happiness.”

“They’re monsters for a reason.”

“Not everyone was a monster before they became one,” Jack argued back. “You should ask him. Everyone’s backstory is different, you should learn his before you decide if you want to spend the rest of you life feeding off other or beside him.

Julian thought on the words Jack said. He was right. He should be so quick to judge something he didn’t know, but he also didn’t want to end up dependent on Pennywise for the rest of his life. Sooner or later he was going to have to leave.

“I guess it won’t hurt to ask,” he said weakly, resolve crumbling as the demon part of him thrilled at being close to Pennywise again.

“Great, You should head back and talk to him. I’ll stay here and research some more in case you decide to hit the road and live the rest of your life eating souls,” Jack said, going back to the book and reading.

“Yeah, just leave the hard part to me, why don’t you,” Julian grumbled standing up and heading towards the stairs.

“Try not to make little clown children while you two reunite!” Jack called after him as he ascended the stairs.

Julian shuddered at Jack’s words, still confused about how that was supposed to work. Did he really want to know how it worked? He just pooped out the demonic clown kid or was there more to it?

He shuddered again at the thought of having to passed weird things out of his body. Some questions were better off left unquestioned. He needed to find Pennywise, which should be easy considering he was most likely holed up in his little sewer nest eating away. That thought should frighten him—maybe at one point t would have—now it barely fazed him. He really was becoming a demon at heart.

He made his way out the house and started the long tread back to the town. It didn’t take as long as before, maybe it was the fact that he was stumbling around less, but he made it back quicker than the trip to the abandon house. He memorized the route, making sure to know how to return, and made his way to the nearest storm drain near by.

He gulp as he stared down at the dark drain, contemplating going back and not facing Pennywise at all. No, he needed to do this. He wasn’t a coward. He squared his shoulders, with one last glance around to make sure no one was watching him, he wiggled his body down into the drain. He landed softly on the sewer tunnel inside, looking around he discovered he could see clearly in the darkness.

“At least one good thing came out of this,” He muttered, walking deeper into the sewer.

How was he supposed to find Pennywise now? He stopped walking to glanced at both ends of the tunnel. He sniffed, catching a sweet smell—was that popcorn and caramel?—emitting from the tunnel towards his left. He let his nose guide him as he walked, following the smell that seemed to change the longer he concentrated on it. It smelled like burning fire, and summer night festivals, mixed with midnight musk and the sweet smell of the circus all bunched into one thing.

His mouth water as the smell became stronger, his cat eyes dilating wide as he got closer to the smell.

The scent lead him into Pennywise’s lair, toys and little objects that he had gathered were scattered around into the giant pile of before came into view as he exited the tunnel and entered the open area of Pennywise’s nest. He held back the whine in the back of his throat threatening to come out at not finding Pennywise nearby like he wanted.

He felt himself pout as he walked around the pile picking up a random paper boat and studying it.

“Drop that,” hissed a voice from inside the darkness.

Julian dropped the boat, turning to face the voice. Pennywise glared back at him from inside the shadows, eyes burning yellow in anger as he observed Julian. Julian felt like whimpering and whining again at the look he was receiving from Pennywise. He held back those urges as Pennywise approached him cautiously, watching him as he moved about and never taking his eyes off of Julian.

“I would have thought that by now you would be miles away now that you’re free of that cow demon,” Pennywise hissed, eyes glowing.

This time Julian couldn’t hold back the whine he let out, eyes dropping in submission at the angry look Pennywise was sending his way. Curse his basic instinct that were roaring their head now that he was close to Pennywise.

He opened his mouth to say something, anything that would take those angry eyes off of him, but he just stared at the clown before him in silence.

“What? Here to throw more jabs about how I should have let your miserable life end?”

He moved forward, catching Pennywise off guard, and wrapped himself around the clown. He felt Pennywise tense under him, clawed hands digging into his waisted as he clutched the clown closer, not letting go as he let out another whine.

“I hate you,” he managed to choke out, rubbing against his face against the Pennywise’s chest, purring at discovering that the scent from before was stronger the closer he was to his mate.

Pennywise relaxed after a while, clawed hands still digging into his waist, but now pulling him closer as he wrapped himself around Pennywise’s tall body. He sniffed the smell radiating off Pennywise in waves—had he always smelled like this?— purring in content at finally being so close to him. The intense hunger that hadn’t left his mind was gone, allowing him some peace as he settled closer to Pennywise.

“Pennsley,” he sniffed again, ignoring the displease growl Pennywise shot his way.

“I told you not to call me that,” came the hissed from above him, the grip around his waist not easing up despite the hard tone.

“You know you like it,” he giggled, looking up at the now blue eyes of Pennywise. So his eyes changed with his mood. “I still hate you.”

“The feeling is mutual.”

“You know what you did, right?” He studied the blue eyes narrowed a little.

“I have an idea.”

“Well, seems I’m more informed than you,” he bit his bottom lip, twitching when he felt a hand slide down his waist. He pushed back against the hand that slide down to cup his bottom and pull him closer to the hard body of Pennywise. He wiggled in content at the feeling, instinct telling him it was a sign their mate still wanted them. Stupid instructs making him like it. Yes, he was going to blame it all on that, not one bit of him wanted it.

“Stop distracting,” He panted eyes dilating again at being fondled.

He received a smirk as a reply. He whined again, trying to reign in the need to rub up again Pennywise and get his scent all over him. He had business to take care of first.

“I need you to tell me something,” he managed to choke out when the hand slide in between his cheeks, rubbing his entrance gently. His hand grabbed on to Pennywise’s suit, crinkling the front as he tried hard not to push back against the hand teasing him.

“Stop That, I need to—Oh.”

The hand teasing him pushed his small frame to rub against Pennywise’s bulkier body. His body took over as he rubbed against Pennywise, mewing as sparks of pleasure ran up his spin.

“I’m s-s-serious,” he tried again, stuttering as his eyes fluttered close when the pleasure intensified.

He need to get a grip, his body had taken over, however as he let his head rest on the chest in front of him, grinding harder now on his own accord as his need escalated.

Try not to make little clown children while you two reunite!

He jerked back, tearing himself away from Pennywise, body and instincts protesting as he let out a whine.

“No, not before we talk,” he forced out, digging his fingernails into the palms of his hands, the sharp pain helping clear his head.

Was it away going to be like this when he was beside Pennywise? He hoped not, it wasn’t a bad experience, but now that he knew he could pop out little clown children he felt more reserve to not let the clown do wicked things to him, even if his body scream and craved it like a cracked addict. He needed answers first, and then maybe he could let the clown have his wicked way with him.

“I just found out that you and me are now attached like two peas in a pod. I can’t leave you without needing to feed on human souls and it’s supposed to hurt like crazy if I don’t, which I can confirm it does.”

Pennywise tilted his head, curiosity lighting his blue eyes.

“I don’t know if you know or if you don’t, but in all reality, the truth is I need to know; who exactly is ‘Pennywise the Dancing Clown’?”

Pennywise studied him, eyes flickering from object to object. When his eyes found their way back to him they were bright gold.

Bad mood, he thought when Pennywise scowled.

“My past is my secret,” he said at last in a low voice.

“I need to know. I don’t care if it’s a secret. You pulled me into this and now you need to tell me.”

“You might not like the answer.”

“Try me.”

“You wish to know?”

“Yes.”

“There are some parts even I don’t remember,” Pennywise confessed, sighing. His eyes flickered back and forth between gold and blue. Even if his face wouldn’t–or couldn’t–express himself , his eyes showed the conflicted emotions hidden inside.

Was this truly a good idea? Did he want to know? Some secrets were meant to stay that way. Was he ready to know?  
….Even monsters deserve happiness.

He could hear Jack telling him those words, encouraging him to discover the truth. Maybe he was right, he thought as he stared at the conflicted clown demon front of him. Pennywise spent centuries down here knowing only hate and hunger. What had led him to that?

“I wished to know what you do remember,” he said, nodding.

Pennywise looked down.

“Fine. I will tell you what I do remember,” he looked up eyes glowing yellow. “Little human, I will tell you the story of Pennywise the Dancing Clown.”

Sharp teeth flared back at him as the story began.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *makes a new discovery* huh, so it is possible for your hands to cramp for writing all night. Who knew? 
> 
> *crying* I can't feel my hands. 
> 
>  
> 
> /English is my second language/ 0……0 (did I forget to mention that....)


	16. Meet Pennywise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates, updates everywhere. (Mistakes as well. Sorry.) trying to conclude this story before New Years. 
> 
> ~~~
> 
> This is my take on Pennywise. *jazz hands* 
> 
> ~~~ 
> 
> Story is coming to an end soon ;___; much thanks to all the reads, kudos, and comments. Love for everyone who’s stuck with my lame writing and ideas.   
> ~~~

 

  
“I don’t remember much, and I don’t wish to, but what I do remember,” Pennywise began, eyes going hazy as he lost himself inside his head. The clown persona forgotten, the serious demeanor he rarely used replacing it. “This is not my physical body.”

“You told me as much before,” Julian said, eyeing the body Pennywise seemed to despise so much. He couldn’t understand why he would hate the body so much. He could easily change himself into something he wanted. “Why do you hate it some much? I don’t understand. It’s you, isn’t it?”

“This is a cage,” he hissed, baring his teeth in anger and picking at his clothing. “This pile of meat and bones is a cage that has kept me here for centuries.”

Pennywise stared down at his gloved hands, a look of disgust plain on his face.  
  
“A cage?” Julian whispered, drawing close to Pennywise, the pained expression on his making Julian’s inside twist.

How could someone who killed children look so lost and defenseless?

“Yes, I am trapped on earth, unable to go back to my Dennison, the Macroverse. My home. That is where I truly reside, dormant while I am trapped here in this fleshly prison as I await freedom.”

Julian’s eyes darted around the open sewer, catching all the small objects that collected over the years. How long had he been stuck here in earth? “You can’t escape?”

“No, I am trapped here, stuck forever,” Pennywise growled, fisting his hands. “Forced to mingle among you humans.”

“I feel insulted. Again.”

“As you should. I am a being of immersive power. Something—“

“My little human mind can’t possible being to comprehend yadayadya. Yes, you’ve said this before, had me look into those neat Deadlights that could have made me insane. Thanks by the way.”

He gave Pennywise a bitter look. He still was mad about that.

Pennywise brushed his comment off, ignoring his glare to continue with his story.  
  
“Yes, and while that is true, I am stuck here in earth with you filth.”

Julian held back a whined, trying to let Pennywise’s comment get it to him.“Agin, thank you.”

Pennywise ignored him again, not paying him attention as he went deeper inside his thoughts, eyes barely seeing him as he stared ahead m

“It is a punishment.”

Julian scooted back, Pennywise’s eyes glaring yellow in unleashed anger.

“A punishment?” He inquired softly, shrinking when Pennywise snarled.

“Are you going to echo everything I say,” hissed Pennywise, annoyed at every constant question Julian threw his way.

“Sorry, continued,” He squeaked, mouth snapping close as he shook his head no.

Once Pennywise was sure Julian wasn’t going to interrupt him again he continued. “Yes, this us a punishment for trying to destroy your kind. I don’t remember the reason, but I do remember the feeling of wanting to eliminate your pathetic monkey race from this earth.”

This time Julian couldn’t remain quiet. “Why? I don’t remember doing anything to you!” He cried in outrage. Okay, so many humanity was beyond stupid and useless at times, but that didn’t call for the destruction of the entire race! Sure the caused wars and fought over petty things, but how would that bother a being created before their time?

“No, not to me. To this planet. You destroy as much as you create, more than create. Your kind takes what it wants and makes it theirs without thinking of the consequences it leaves behind. This planet, this galaxy, this universe, came about by Maturin The Turtle.”

“Who?” He tilted his head in confusion. Wasn’t the universe created by God? This was getting to biblical and insane from him to comprehend. Little mind indeed.

Pennywise formed a glowing Milky Way projection in his palms, a giant turtle shell residing below it. “ giant turtle, created your universe.”

Julian leaned forward to look closer at the little projection Pennywise had created. “I need to be drunk for this. My head is starting to hurt again.”

“He was my brother.”

Julian’s eyes shot up to catch Pennywise watching him with caution. No, there was something more he wasn’t telling Julian. Why would you try committing genocide for a no causes? Maturin must have been something more to him. For Pennywise to be filled with so much hatred towards humanity…he must mean more than Pennywise was letting on.

Julian wasn’t sure how that made him feel. Upset? Betrayed…

“I’m definitely too somber for this,” he averted his eyes from the yellow ones watching him. He held back the need to feel hurt at what Pennywise was hiding from him.

“When he created your universe, there were no humans to roam in earth and all was well, but then The Other, our creator, he made you little parasite beings to reside on earth. For a while they were fine, but then your kind, such selfish little things, did what it always does, what’s it's only good for: consume, destroy, tear everything apart. It began to consume the planet Maturin was so proud of, but the lazy fool wouldn’t lift a finger to stop it. So I did and was punished for it. I was casted out, my position as one of the Guardians of the Beams revoked, my powers locked in this fleshy prison, thrown back in time. I crashed on earth, as planned and only able to wake once the wounds from the fall heal, but by then your kind had populated the land I crashed in.”

“Derry,” he whispered. That explained why Pennywise only stayed here in Derry, but couldn’t he leave? There wasn’t anything stopping him from leaving Derry.

“That’s what It is called now. So I began to feed, to regain the strength I had lost trying to heal the wounds from my fall.”

The first killing of Derry. When had Ben said that had taken place? The settlers, they must have been killed brutally. If Pennywise was already so destructive when he woke from his slumber every twenty seven years, how must he have been when he awoke first from his banishment, weak and disoriented?

“You killed people?” He shook his head, no he already knew that. “You could have not killed people.”

“I slaughtered you little insect beings, but Maturin notice, of course he did, not too keen on having me slaughter his precious little humans, he locked my mind, forcing me to slumber for 27 to 30 years. Mercy, he called it, to reform myself.”

Pennywise stared at nothing, eyes going hazy. Julian gulp. This story was a nightmare. A love story gone wrong?

“This is mercy,” Pennywise began again, waving to his body. “My need to slumber comes for Maturin’s little curse to help you little humans to live while I am locked away and forced to lay dormant. In that state I feel nothing, I cannot do nothing but lay there and float on nothingness while I await my time to pass.”

“Every 27 years you wake up and kill again. And then are forced to slumber because of some giant turtle that is punishing you for trying to keep earth pure?” Julian tried to wrap his mind around everything that Pennywise was telling him.

“This is a cage and time is my warden, my slumber it’s own clock to force me back from eliminating you uses being,” he hissed, eyes zeroing on Julian.

That made sense, in a way. Pennywise had enough time, a year at most, to regain back the energy he used while sleeping before was being forced to slumber again. That explained why he couldn’t leave Derry. His time was valuable, spent eating and feeding to survive the next cycle. What happens if he didn’t regain that energy?

He gulped, pushing those thoughts away. No, he had helped Pennywise when he had crawled to Julian for help after the attack from the Losers Club. It should be enough to keep him alive while he slept.

Was it enough?

“I guess…that isn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” he said instead, avoiding Pennywise’s gaze.

“Maturin was my mate once. The insult is twice as more as your little mind can understand.”

Julian remained quiet, taking in the new information. Frowned, keeping his head down. Yes, he guessed as much. He knew that Pennywise wasn’t going to start a petty war just for anyone. He must have loved Maturin a lot to start a war for him.

Why did it hurt so much, then, to admit that?

He didn’t let his emotions show, hiding them as Pennywise continued his story.

“I don’t remember my name, I don’t care much now since it doesn’t matter,” he gave a deranged giggle, the revelation of what he kept going through—What he was going through—made Julian realize that his insanity wasn’t a choice. He was force here, of course by a good cause, but force none the less to walk among what he hated the most. Who knew what sort of effect came with being forced to slumber for three decades after only a year of feeding on human flesh. One would truly go insane after that. Barely surviving before being forced to sleep again, and again. An endless cycle of life and death.

Pennywise waved the thoughts away, gigging lowly as his eyes gleamed bright yellow in unleashed anger.

“The longer I am forced to slumber, the longer I lose my mind. I will slumber and not return one day.” He said cheerfully, sharp teeth twisting into a snarl. “I’m sure Maturin planned my death very well.”

“Wait, what?” Julian broke his silence, blinking at what Pennywise had said. His eyes finally settling on Pennywise. He hoped that they didn’t show the turmoil he felt growing inside him. “You’ll sleep and just, what? Fade away?”

“Yes, that is what will happen.” Pennywise didn’t seemed affected by what he was saying. Other than anger, he didn’t seem too bothered by the fact that one day he would cease to exist.

Julian stared at Pennywise, the decision inside him already made.

“Pennsley,” his voice broke, moving forward clinging to Pennywise, a being who had thought he was doing the right thing only to be rejected and tossed out like trash. He was forgotten and abandoned to his own fate, forced to sleep and slowly lose his mind and sink into insanity as time went by. For how long had this been happening ? Could he find a way to stop it? How long did he have…

Pennywise tensed under Julian’s touch, having expected the human to lash out in disgust at what It had shared. Instead the little human was clinging to It and crying, small body shaking and trembling. What a strange little creature.

Julian looked up at Pennywise, amber eyes wide with emotion as he stared into yellow eyes filled with anger, hate, and insanity.

“I might be a little human, demon ,whatever I am to you, but I can’t–I just can’t leave you now,” Julian told Pennywise, eyes wet with tears, making them appear bigger than they actually were. “I’m yours now.”

Julian whimpered when sharp teeth dug their way into his soft neck, blood gushing out as Pennywise marked him again. His whole life Julian had spent it rejecting his existence. He was tortured, raped, forced to bend for someone else’s will. He never felt true freedom. He didn’t remember it, but it didn’t matter now. He had spent his short years always not wanting to live, always wanting an end to his nightmare, but his nightmare was just a small little thing compared to what Pennywise was going through.

Jack had been right all along. Pennywise craved—needed—someone. He needed a companion after being betrayed so badly after doing what he thought was correct. Maybe Julian wasn’t right in the head anymore—who would be after everything he’s been through—but both he and Pennywise could be insane together. Two crazy nut jobs together like they should be.

“Pennsley,” Julian gasped as he was forced to the ground, whining when the coldness touched him. He then was shifted into soft sheets, dirty, but better than the cold, wet ground. He stared up at the glowing eyes of Pennsley, deciding to call him that instead of just Pennywise. Pennywise was impersonal, nothing but a cover to hide the truth. That Pennywise had no name. So Julian would name him, give him back something that was taken. He would teach him how to trust again, and maybe one day they would exit this place, and leave Derry, Maine behind.

Clothes soon came off—torn off actually, but who had time to think when the burning need consumed one soul?—as more bites fell upon Julian’s creamy soft flesh. Julian welcomed the bites, the rough handling from Pennsley as he was moved about, letting him do as he please. They both needed this, needed the reassurance that they were more than what fate had made them. The burning need to be something consumed them, and it was only right that the Celestial Being of Consumption was consuming him whole, taking him appear and owning him. This was what they both needed at the moment. To feel and not think.

A hand soon found it way down his chest, sharp claw dragging across his sensitive nipple, making him arch and gasp at the sensation. He twisted and cried out as Pennsley bit his collarbone, licking away the blood as he moved on to the erect pink nipple. When the hot mouth of his mate closed around the little sensitive bud, his hands snapped up to sink themselves into the soft red hair of Pennsley. He writhe under him, unable to stay still as wrapping his legs around Pennsley’s waist, trying to bring him closer to where he wanted him as his mouth sucked and licked at his bud, drawing pleasure down to his groin, making him harder than he could stand.

“More,” he cried out, pulling Pennsley up and kissing him, what was this? Their second, third kiss? There was no time for drawn out touches and teasing caresses. They needed this now.

“Inside,” he gasped out, when they came apart, a string of saliva connecting their mouths. He couldn’t help the smile they came to his face at the drool, so used to it now. He developed a drool kink.

Should he be worried that he felt wetness in his entrance? Maybe, but right now he didn’t care. He just needed Pennsley inside of him, holding him, taking him, making Julian his.

A hand reached down as they resumed kissing, both clumsy and unsure of what to do. Julian had never kissed anymore before and Pennsley the same. They were both so lonely and yet full of need. Their need to feel alive, to be held, to not be alone anymore, it was all there inside, building and forcing itself out.

A finger was shoved inside his slick entrance, making Julian cried out against Pennsley’s mouth, gasping when another quickly join the first, preparing him with haste. Before he had time to adjust, another joined the first two, stretching him with a sharp sting, but the wetness already there easing the pain. He shook as Pennsley curled his finger into his prostate, making him jerk with pleasure.

“Now, inside, now!”

The fingers left, and soon he felt something hot touch his slick entrance. He glanced up at Pennsley, catching his burning yellow eyes as they glowed down at him, seeming more human and alive than before. He wanted to burn in those eyes, until he was nothing but ashes, scorched by the emotions Pennsley had buried inside for so long. Their unnatural glow a representation of who Pennsley truly was, trapped inside the body that became his prison, his only way of showing his powers and who he once had been. Would he go insane if he stared at his true form now? Did it matter now when he was already so far gone for Pennsley?

He arched, crying out louder as Pennsley filled him, never taking his eyes off Pennsley’s brung yellow ones.

“Mine,” Pennsley growled down at him, kissing him again as he set a hard pace, hitting Julian’s prostate every time he pushed his back inside. Julian wrapped his arms around Pennsley’s neck, drawing him closer, trying to meld them together, to join their bodies as one and never let go. He moaned, thrusting back at every thrust Pennsley gave into him. Pennsley’s hands were clawed, shark little knifes, on both sides of his head, digging holes into the sheets below them, not touching him like he wanted, but too far gone to care.

He pulled back from the kiss, mouth open as the pleasure inside him built higher and higher. He forced his eyes open, watching Pennsley above him, who stare back in return. It as too much—it wasn’t enough. He wrapped his legs around Pennsley’s waist, tugging him sharply into him with every thrust he gave. He cried and wailed, shaking with need.

He was close. He could feel it in the way he tighten around Pennsley’s cock inside him, already trying to milk him as he thrust deeper into him, instincts telling him to mark him, his mate, from the inside. Pennsley bared his teeth, sharp little needles that could cut flesh, as Julian dug his fingers into his shoulders, trying to pull him closer, he needed him closer.

“Pennsley,” he cried as his vision went white, unable to keep his eyes focused on Pennsley, his body tightening around his mate as pleasure coursed through him, his stomach coated with his own release. He felt Pennsley follow him shortly after, thrusting as deep as he could, letting out a growl as he bit his neck, leaving a mark for everyone to see, warmth filling his insides. Julian’s legs shook as he rode out his climax, feeling his body clench rhythmically as it contracted around Pennsley, ensuring to draw everything he gave Julian inside.

They collapse against the sheets, rolling over but still attached and holding each other close. Julian felt his eyes droop, the tension from the previous day leaving his body as he was held by Pennsley. He whined, eyes peeking up when he felt Pennsley shift, drawing out of him. After a hum, and a nuzzle to the top of his head, Julian closed his eyes again, drifting off to sleep in the arms of his mate.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**_Seattle, Washington_ **

  
Dark shadows moved as the figure coated in them drifted towards his destination, smirk firmly in place as he entered the abandoned church. He entered, without care, searching for the being hunched over a mortal woman, who was screaming in terror at the sight of the demon before her.

“Abanus, what a pleasure as always,” the figure watching the woman called out for help, receiving none.

Abanus glanced up from his prey, knocking the woman out with a wave of his hand. The woman fell to the ground in a heap , forgotten as Abanus watched the figure before him with caution.

“Thayer, what a surprised,” Abanus said, watching the cold red eyes of the demon before him. Despite the incubus’ demeanor and appearance, Thayer was a cold hearted demon, like any demon, and rarely showed mercy, even to his own kind. He was know to kill those who got in his way, human or demon. It was for that reason he held such high rank, but not higher than Abanus, who held a higher rank.

“Yes, isn’t it,” snake eyes gleaming in barely contained glee as he stared at Abanus from across the church room. His red eyes shifting to the woman on the ground.

“State your business,” Abanus hissed, stepping forward in a threatening matter. He wouldn’t tolerate Thayer’s behavior today.

“Our Lord doesn’t take too kindly to playing with food too much, especially after said food has escaped,” Thayer voiced, smirking at the angry expression Abanus shot him. One point for the incubus.

“Your business, Thayer.”

“The little human you chased so vigorously has now joined our ranks,” Thayer stated with glee. He reveled in Abanus’ anger as the demon’s power surge, knocking everything near him apart.

“That is impossible, I killed that human myself,” Abanus hissed, twisted around and pacing. How could it be? He had made sure to kill his bothersome pet.

“Ah, yes, but you forgot to make sure he was truly dead. And so it seems that something else wanted him alive as well.” Thayer yawned, leaning against a beam and inspecting his sharp nails.

“That retched clown!”

Thayer smirked again, forcing his glee to simmer down. Now was not the time to celebrate.

“I would be careful who I called retched,” Thayer warned, smiling widely, unable to not rejoice in the other demon’s misfortune. “He might be trapped here for now, but I doubt even you know what he is capable of.”

“I don’t care about the clown, tell me about my Pet,” he demanded, making his way to the incubus laughing at him.

“Oh, yes, the little demon, well turns out he was changed into a lovely Soul Eater, quiet the rare treat might I tell you. Never had one in quite a while. I’m sure many are itching to just sink their claws into his soft flesh now,” Thayer said, leaning his cheek against his palm in amusement. He watched Abanus unleash another wave of power. He was really angry.

“That stupid human changed unto a Soul Eater?” His red eyes burned, wanting to tear the little Pet apart. Once he had his hands around the newborn demon he was going to make sure he had learned his lesson once and for all.

“Yes, nice surprised as well. The Bookers couldn’t believe themselves,” he laughed, remembering the looks of confusion on the Bookers faces. What a perfect time to be sorting paperwork. “Nice surprise indeed.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Abanus hissed, feeling the insult hidden inside the information.

Thayer smirked in pleasure. “It’s not every century a little nephilim gets converted to the dark side, and not every millennium that a celestial being takes the little one as a mate.”

Abanus glared at Thayer, anger rising the longer the incubus spoke.

“A missed chance really, but I doubt the Celestial would know about our rituals, considering the little one is still knew to being a demon. Sad to think he wouldn’t know how to truly bond with the Soul Eater. Someone could easily sneak in and take him.” Thayer laughed, bowing deeply. “But Who would be stupid enough to challenge our Celestial companion over a little Nephilim Changeling, right?”

“You play a dangerous game, Thayer,” Abanus warned.

“It is a game I play fairly well. And I rarely lose.”

“You lose more than you think,” Abanus hissed, sour taste filling his mouth as Thayer giggled.

“Everyone already knows how the Soul Eater slipped through your fingers, Abanus. Your rank will soon go down. Don’t think yourself untouchable because you won a few battles. Once our Lord learns of your little mishap, he’ll want to revalued your worth. I am kind enough to warn you.”

“You’re a snake.”

“Aren’t we all?” Thayer smiled, eyes gleaming. “There has always been very little that has pleased me, and few that had come close, but there is nothing more in this world than I hate than that silly human you followed after, sniffing at his skirts. I’ll take you, back, just get rid of that thing once and for all or live the rest of your life demoted.”

“I don’t need your assistance, Thayer.”

“You’ve always needed me. Do as you wish, Abanus. You know what to do now,” with one last flourish of moments, Thayer disappear as quickly as he came, smirking firmly in place. All he had to do now was wait.

Abanus glanced down at his most recent meal, scowling at the reminded of his previous pet. That silly thing was really a nuisance and he would have to put I down once more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~ 
> 
> Ten Bucks to whoever can predict the ending $$$
> 
> ~~~


	17. Old Enemies, New Problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 4 more to go guys ~(0—0)~ 
> 
> Spelling and grammar errors. Sorry:”)
> 
> Who’s watched Star Wars? Kylo Ren is some hot angsty stuff. 
> 
> Onward with the story :)

There once had been a period in time where Julian’s dreams felt real. He could swear if he reach out and touch things with his hands he could feel them, solid as any other object. He could feel them, their weight heavy in his hands, as he ran his walked through the darkness surrounding him. He could feel it, the darkness, as he walked and walked through an endless dark void.

Where was he? Was this real or a dream?

It always seemed that every dream he had, even if it started out good, would shifted into a nightmare. His whole life had been an endless nightmare, one right after the other. There were no pauses to let him rest, no words of encouragement or hop. Just an endless string of nightmares.

It became so overwhelming that he had trouble distinguishing where he was. The waking world or the sleeping one? How do you distinguished where you are when even your dream–nightmares felt real? What could you trust?

There was no end, no safe place, no help from his nightmares. Awake, asleep, tired, energetic, they would all lead to the same thing. His nightmares would always be there, waiting, watching, stalking him, haunting him. They were always there, always chasing him, following him until he lost his mind.

What was real and what was his nightmare?

They never stopped, not until his nightmares leaked into his life. Every waking moment there would be a reminder, a constant reminder, of his dreams. Of who he was and could never be. They mocked him, making sure he never forgot why he was running.

But over time, he learned to tell them apart. As he grew older he could tell which ones were a dream. It was a feeling, inside him, that would arise. He could feel it in his bones, in his soul. Maybe it was the way the edges would blur or the way his body would feel lighter, either way he could tell when it was a dream. It wasn’t a feeling you could forget. It was there, like the sensation of falling through space, nothing around you to catch you, just you and the free fall. That was the feeling he felt. Like free falling through empty space. It had been so long since he felt it.

And there it was, that insidious feeling that caused the hairs in his body to rise in alert and his heart to fill with dread. This was another nightmare. The feeling, the sounds, this was a nightmare. It had always felt like nothingness, only emptiness and darkness filling him as he grasped the straws of reality. This was the beginning of another dream, another horrible dream, that he could never escape until it all played out.

Maybe that’s why he hated it so much; The feeling of free falling. Because with a free fall there was no stop, no help, until you reached the bottom. He could feel it beginning. The free fall was staring, and like a movie there was no ending it until it all played out. He was now a puppet, playing the part as the strings moved him, and all he could do now was move.

 

  
*****

 

  
He gasped, eyes snapping open as the sensation of water rising in his throat made him choke. He kept coughing, rolling over, trying not to drown as more water poured out his mouth and down on the ground beside him.

Where was he?

He observed his surroundings, looking up at the light above him, going on for miles like the darkness that surrounded him. He stood slowly, not taking his eyes off the light above.

When the light didn’t fade he did a small turn, trying to see through the darkness around him. His eyes widen and then he flinched back when he saw a pair of red eyes staring at him from the dark.

The burning red eyes stared, never blinking or wavering from him, holding him in place with their menacing stare. Then they were gone.

“So he was right,” Abanus spoke from the shadows, voice sounding from behind him.

He spun around, catching sight of the eyes moving in the dark. Julian followed them, not blinking in fear as Abanus moved, never taking his eyes off of him as he watched him closely, his eyes never leaving his. Abanus hummed, the eyes disappearing again.

Julian’s breath quicken trying to followed Abanus’ movements. He found him again, staring from the side. Julian locked eyes with him again, never letting him out of his sight. His old ‘Master’ chuckled, dark shadows shifting as he walked again in a circle, not moving close to the small beam of light encasing Julian, protecting him from Abanus.

“Abanus,” he whispered, his eyes dilating wide as his defenses went on edge. He didn’t know how he had discovered he was still alive, or was surprise he did, but now he had to deal with him again. He had known, deep down inside him that it had been only a matter of time before Abanus found him. He could tell himself he was safe all he wanted, but his instincts knew, had always known, that he would carry the weight of being discover. Because for him, there was no escaping a demon hell bent on making you suffer.

“So you live, Pet, and now you are one of us.” Abanus came to a sudden stopped, turning to face him, not moving his red eyes from his own yellow ones, which were blown wide, only a ring of yellow visible. “And look how beautiful you are now.”

“I will never be one of your filthy kind!” Julian jerked back when Abanus laughed, the shrilled sound making him wince.

“Oh, how quick to judge, Pet. That’s what I’ve always loved about you,” Abanus shifted, red eyes leaning closer. “You’ve always had so much spirit. So much that it makes me crave to break it. I thought I could be the one to break you and make you mine, but I was wrong. You’ve defied me at every turn, made my generosity feel so wasted. Either way, Pet, it surely does not matter now, does it? You are one of our own now, wether you wanted it or not, like it should be, like it was meant to be. You can’t deny your nature now.”

He jerked back when Abanus stepped closer, making him back away from the light as the imposing body of Abanus stood before him in the light, the shadows reaching, never quite leaving the demo expose. The ram head tilted to the side, eyes narrowing as he stared him dow.

“I don’t have to be an evil bastard like you!” Julian bit back, growling lowly.

Abanus shifted his head down, voice going deeper with annoyance. “Ah, but my death count is but a ripple in your new paramour’s ocean of blood. My hands might be tainted in blood, but his are flooding in it. He is practically drowning in the ocean he has created. And you want to know what’s worse, Pet? The fact that I take from the wicked souls already lost, but him–ohh,” Abanus paused to let out a low chuckled, causing shivered to run down his back. “Oh, him, he takes from the innocent and revels in it.”

Julian hissed, eyes narrowing when Abanus tried to step closer to him again. Abanus hummed, not sounding please, but letting him cower away.

“You’re wrong! You already took me! I was a child! I was innocent.”

Abanus broke out in laughter, his large body shaking in amusement. “You were never innocent.”

“What?” He cried in outrage. “I was innocent! I was a child!”

“Oh, yes, a child,” Abanus said nodding, mocking him. “But do you know what you are, Pet?” Abanus titled his head, stalking towards him with determination, not letting Julian’s warning hiss stop him. The shadows around Abanus floated and twirled, shifting as he changed his shaped to a human body.

Once the shadows stopped moving and shooing Abanus stood stalk still in front of him. In place of his demonic form a man now stood, as tall as Pennsley, lean and wearing priest clothing, black hair and burning red eyes met his own as a human Abanus smirked, lips curling up to reveal sharp jagged teeth, still looking demonic in his human form. How hauntingly demonic he looked. All jagged teeth and red eyes staring from such a human face.

“You’re an annoyance upon me, just because your whore of a mother couldn’t keep her legs closed. I tired being kind to you, a mistake on my part, and now I have to put an end to your disobedience once more,” Abanus moved forward more. “I made a mistake thinking I could change you. A folly on my part, considering the lengths I went through to make you perfect, but now I have to end you like I should have when I first came across you.”

Julian flinched as Abanus drew near, trembling in fear whenever Abanus took one step closer to him. “What are you talking about? I don’t understand anything you’re saying to me. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“I have to end your existence to recover what I have lost,” Abanus shifted back, cryptic as ever, shadows hugging him as he moved away from Julian. He waved his hand dismissively, not answering Julian’s question. “I have to kill you like I should have, eight years ago, when I first stumbled upon you.”k

“What…”  
Abanus stopped walking, not turning to face him directly, instead looking off to the side hands held in a prayer position, a smirked firmly in place. His face tilted back, the one red eyes staring at him with amusement. “I have to kill, you, Julian. I have to end what I couldn’t complete.”

Julian walked backwards, trying to put some distance between Abanus and himself. His heart speeding up in his chest, beating faster when Abanus turned to look at him. His red eyes focused on him, then he stalked forward, not stopping until he was before him again. Julian tried to escape, only for an unknown force to hold him in place. He was helpless as Abanus’ face twisted in anger, lashing out as he took hold of Julian’s arm, digging sharp talon nails into the flesh of his upper arm.

When he was firmly in place, Abanus jerked him towards him, his arm aching in pain. He tried twisting out of the grass, fruitless trying to find escape from the steel grip. The demons lips curing up again in a smile, revealing all his sharp teeth.

“Wait, for me, Pet. This time there won’t be any escape.”

 

 

  
*****

 

 

  
“ _Julian.”_

_“Wake up.”_

_“Wake up, Julian.”_

Julian’s eyes snapped open, the bright light of the room making him moan in pain when it hit his over sensitive eyes. His eyes snapped back closer, blocking out the bright light. After a while, once he thought he was ready enough, he opened his eyes a second time, trying to accustom his eyes to the new change. Now that he wasn’t human he would have to learn to deal with all the traits that came with being a demon. Over light sensitivity, enhances senses, all those things were so new to him. He didn’t know how he would deal with any of the new traits he had now. He wasn’t ever going to get used to being able to see everything with such clarity, or smell every scent near by. The changes made his world take a complete 360, flipping him from what he was so used to.

He blinked multiple times, forcing his eyes to stay open. With another low moan, he let his eyes get used to the light. The light wasn’t bright, but it still caused his eyes trouble getting used to it. It would make his life very difficult if he didn’t learn how to control that soon.

When he could see he turned his head to squint at the crouched figure beside him.

“Jack?” He croak lowly, his voice still coated with sleep.

Jack merely waved, smiling at him.

“What are you doing here?” He tried moving up, only to be held down by the strong arms wrapped around his waist. Julian looked down in surprise, catching sight of Pennsley, sleeping underneath him. He couldn’t help but stare at the peaceful expression on his face, harsh lines evened out making him look less menacing. Julian smiled, resisting the urge to kiss him.

He heard someone clear their throat.

Oh, that’s right. He blushed when he peaked up at Jack again. He hadn’t realized he had lost himself staring at Pennsley’s resting face.

“Clown babies,” Jack giggled, motioning him to follow. He didn’t comment anymore on finding Julian in Pennsley’s arm, although he did give him a somber look when stood up.

Julian tried his best to get out of Pennsley’s tight grasp and not wake him. He slowly untangled himself, succeeding in pulling away without waking up his lover, and following behind Jack. Jack came to a halt, stopping to stare down at a paper boat shifting around the water, the same one Julian had grabbed when he arrived down here to confront Pennsley.

Julian stare back and forth between the boat and Jack. “Are you okay Jack?”

Jack jerked, shaking his head as he moved on ahead, but not without giving the boat one last long look. “It’s nothing, I just thought the boat looked familiar.”

“Where are we going ?” He glanced down at himself, making a noise of surprise at finding himself wearing a smaller version of Pennsley’s clown suit, but with a different designed. It was red, black and white instead of the classical look Pennsley’s suit had. The white ruffled clown collar was more subtle than Pennsley’s one, barely noticeable. Instead of the short pants Pennsley wore, he had stockings that went mid thigh, while the shorts of the suit ended mid thigh as well. He had on a white, red, and black jacket that fit him snuggly with lined and diamond patterns on his arms and chest. It looked like a circus ringmaster jacket. Oh, god, he was dressed as a circus ringmaster…but who put it on…

“How in the world…”

“The clown put it on you when you were asleep,” Jack casually said, making his way around the giant pile of collected toys towards a tunnel. He stood by the entrance, looking back to make sure Julian was following him.

“Wait, how long have you been here watching us?” He walking came to a stand still, shifting uncomfortable at the thought of a little kid watching him and Pennywise while they were alone. He shuddered as he thought what little Jack could have seen.

For a split second he had to reign in the urge to growl, however. Something possessive came crawling out, wanting to make sure Jack knew that Pennsley was only his and no one else’s. He held back the need to growl. His instincts really didn’t like the thought of being watched while he was alone with Pennsley. It made him feel like their gatherings needed to be kept in secret, away from prying eyes.

“I only got here when you and the clown were asleep. You fell asleep first, and he did this weird thing with his hands making you both get dress. I found it extremely amusing to watch you dress in a little clown circus theme version of his.” Jack, a little oblivious to Julian’s dark mood, skipped over a giant puddle, giggling when it splashed him.

Julian’s lips twitched in amusement.

“How are you doing that? You’re a ghost…” Julian stared at jack, squinting as he watched the little boy splash around the water playfully.

Jack paused to stared down at his feet, little face twisted in an adorable frown. “I don’t know? I think it’s pretty fun! I can still do some normal things, like touch objects and move them.”

“That’s nice to know,” He mutter, moving silently beside the smaller boy who confined to jump and splash on the puddles near by as they walked, his giggles making him smile. It made Julian feel warm inside to watch Jack act like a little kid. He had such an adult way of conversing that he sometimes forgot he was talking to a little boy.

  
Jack glanced up at him, small blue eyes wide with wonder. His small face lit up in delight. “Yeah?!”

Julian couldn’t help but smile at the enthusiastic grin Jack was throwing his way. He followed behind him, watching him splash puddles as he walked. His smile slowly dropped into a frown. This little boy, having so much in life to live for was dead and now he was here, stuck as ghost, not knowing who he was or if he could move on from this place.

“You were going to tell me something?” Julian blurred out suddenly, wishing to move on from his dark thoughts and needing a distraction.

“Oh, yes!” Jack quickly ran up ahead, Julian following behind him, wincing at the uncomfortable feeling of having Pennsley inside him not too long ago. He still felt open from when he let Pennsley claim him again.

After a long while of following behind an enthusiastic Jack, he got tired, his body aching as he walked. He began to feel grouchy, needing to lay down to ease the pressure on his backside.

“Jack, seriously, where are we—“

“Julian,” Jack cut off suddenly, a serious look befalling his face. His blue eyes locked with his. “I think I have an idea who I am….or, at least, who I was—used to be.”

“Isn’t that a good thing, Jack?” He questioned, not looking away. Why had that made the boy’s mood drop so suddenly? Didn’t he want to know who he was before he was turned into a ghost?

“I’m afraid,” he whispered softly, blue eyes shining with unleashed tears. “I’m afraid of the truth…”

“The truth can’t be that bad,” he said, trying to find the words to comfort the ghost boy he had made friends with. He tired to think of what to say, but his mind was coming up blank.

“No,” Jack looked down, hiding his face from Julian. “The truth is bad or I have a feeling it is. I don’t think I wish to know. I do want to know who I am, believe me, but I’m afraid that once I do I won’t be someone I’m proud to be.”

“Jack, I know already you’re not a bad person, and your past won’t change that.”

“I don’t remember, but I do know I feel scare, and lost with no where else to go,” Jack said, looking up at him through his tears. “There’s only shadows surrounding me, drowning me. I feel like there isn’t any escape.”

Julian recoiled at the familiar words he had used so often before. Those words were so familiar to him. That’s what he had first started out saying when the events of his last had unfolded.

“Jack—“

Jack shook his head, turning around and walking away. He let out a long sigh, walking somberly than before. “That isn’t why I asked you to come.”

“Jack, I think it’s serious what you were talking about before. Maybe we should—”

“No, Julian, it’ll come to me,” Jack cut off, not turning to look at him as he walked ahead of him. “I just hope I’ll like who I was before I became this ghost.”

Julian felt his head spin. Why was Jack so confusing? One minute he was happy, splashing puddles and the next he was an emotional cloud of doom. He rubbed his eyes as he trailed behind the little boy, holding back the need to smash his head against the walls to let his frustrations out. He didn’t understand the people around him. They were so bipolar with their feelings and actions. One minutes they were inviting him for some cake and the next the were trying to stab him with a fork. He couldn’t keep up. He had enough with Pennsley doing it, now Jack had join the club.

“What exactly are you going to show me?” He asked instead, deciding to ignore Jack’s problem and focused on what he initially dragged Julian out here for. He didn’t want to, he was reluctant to do so, but in the end it was all Jack’s decision. He couldn’t force him to talk to him about it.

“Before IT came here, before IT was even a thing in the town of Derry, there was something else,” Jack went along with the change of topic, turning into a tunnel. “I think, if I’m correct, there is a place here in the sewers where something sinister resides.”

“What do you mean something sinister?”

Jack didn’t reply, he just let Julian followed behind him quietly. Julian was going to protest, needing answers, but before he could utter a world he felt a heaviness fall on him. His steps came to a slow stop as he took notice of the darkness shrouding the tunnel in eerie silence. The air was more sinister and ominous here where they walked. Julian could feel something, something alive, pulsing like a beating heart inside the walls of the tunnel. Wherever they were, wherever they were heading to, It was like walking into something alive. The walls around them were alive. He didn’t like the feeling, not one bit. It was dark and angry, filled with raging hate that made him feel like he was choking on air. It was there, waiting, trying to push inside him and burn him alive. It was a feeling, something wrong, that felt like something dirty and wet was brushing up against him, tugging him closer.

It made his skin crawl.

“Jack, where are we going?” He kept his voice low, trying not to make too much sound as they confined to walk deeper into the tunnel. The feeling of dread grew worse as they walked more and more inside.

“Some where interesting,” Jack said back. He held up a flashlight, “Here, take this, it’s about to get dark.”

Julian took the flashlight, turning it on he walked after Jack. He blinked his eyes, trying to now accustom them to the new light change. Once he could see again he took in his surrounding with more clarity. He could see in the dark, yes, but some things looked more gruesome in the light. He ignored the way the tunneled made him feel, trying not to dive too deep inside as he walked forward. The walls were growing darker the longer he and Jacks walked, making it seems they were surrounded by a dark cloud.

He gulped, shivering at the dark shadows coming from the walls around him.

“Jack, why does it feel so…”

“Heavy? Dark? Evil?” Jack supplied, stoping. Julian flashed the light up ahead, finding that they had reached the end of the tunnel  
At the end there was just a wall with a giant crack running across it, splitting it diagonally.

A dead end. Why did Jack take him to a dead end? “What are we doing here?”

Jack leaned closer to the wall, not touching it but observing. “This is place, this spot, is the exact place the clown, IT, fell down on.”

“Why is that so special?” He moved forward to touch the wall. Jack grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

“Because this is where the worlds meet. This place here, there’s a crack in the universe, leaking through. It’s a gate way to his body, the Deadlights as you call them. This is where his Macroverse body and his physical one are trying to meet. That darkness pulling at you? That’s him fighting to break through, towards here.”

“What? I– how do you know this? I don’t understand,” he shook his head, frowning at the dark wall in front of them. “A crack through both worlds?”

“Yes, it has happen before. The Beams holding up the Dark Tower, they’ve been under attack from time to time. It isn’t unusual for a ripple, or crack to appear between both world or the multiple worlds, but this place…it only holds darkness—his hate and power. It’s bad, like really bad. It is contained by the wall for now, but sooner or later IT’s coming. This wall will break and crumble.”

“There must be a way to reverse this?” He said, regret immediately filling him. This was Pennsley trying to break free of his cage, and here he was trying to stop it. “What would happen if we don’t?”

“The clown, IT, whatever you wish to call him, is a being of consumption. He’ll consume this world, tear it apart and watch it burn if his true self broke through the barrier. He’ll have nothing to stop him from killing earth, or this universe.” Jack let his hand go, moving away from the wall.

“He wouldn’t do that that,” he tried to defend weakly.

Jack glared at the before them. He shook his head at Julian. “Yes, he would. Do you think that just because he fancies you and fucks you, he’ll take a pity on the rest of humanity? No, he’ll destroy, consume our world until it’s nothing but a speck of dirt in the universe. Remember, you’re just human, another small little helpless human.”

“It’s not like that! Pennsley would never—”

“He’s not a person! He’s not human, or feels what we feel or cares about you or us or me or the people outside of this place! He’s a being of consumption. All he knows, all he will ever know is to consume. You can fuck him, and love him all you want, Julian, but it won’t change what he is,” Jack cut off, fist clench and face twisted in a scowl.

“What ever happened to all monster deserved love?” Julian sapped back.

His emotions were conflicted. He didn’t know what to believe anymore. He wanted to love Pennsley, but if what Jack was saying was true….then who would he choose? Pennsley deserved love, he deserved to be rid of the burden he carried inside him, yes he did, but at what cost? What did he do now? Let Pennsley through and destroy his world or stop him. It wasn’t his choice to be a being that only knows how to consume the things around him, but that was no excuse to let a world—his world burn.

What did he believe in? What did he choose now?

“That…don’t bring that up,” Jack shook his head. “This is different.”

“It’s not different! You can’t change on thing, and say another thing later. Why shouldn’t he deserve happiness?”

“Julian, he’s not who you think he is!”

“He has feelings too!”

“Julian, he’ll never love you! He can’t love anyone else, but Maturin!” Jack closed his mouth, looking away from Julian’s hurt expression.

“What?” He whispered softly, his eyes darting to Jack’s face.

“You know the story. You know how it started, how it ended, how is shall continue to be. He loves Maturin. He’ll go above and beyond for him. You will always be just another human. Another speck in the wind, but Maturin will be there forever,” Jack looked back at him. “How can you fight against a love that has lasted such a long time?”

“I don’t understand,” Julian cried, fighting back tears. “I thought I had decided. I thought this was my choice. But it’s never been my choice,” Julian backed up against the wall, blinking back tears. “I’ve never had a choice in this.”

“I’m sorry,” Jack whispered. “I know this isn’t what you want to hear right now.”

“No, it’s okay,” Julian calmly said, staring up at the shadows. “It was silly of me to think I could have this. I can’t pretend anymore that I’m normal, that I will be normal.”

“Julian—“

“What has to happen now?” He cut Jack off, staring blankly at the wall before him.

Jack awkwardly tried to reach out, but stopped himself, pulling his hand back. “You know what has to happened now.”

“He has to die, doesn’t he?” He closed his eyes, blocking out the world. How had it come to this?

“Yes.” That one word filled him with so much sadness. He opened his eyes, calmly voicing his thoughts.“What’s going to happen to me?”

He felt so numb. Everything seemed to be crashing down on him and he was helpless to stop it.

“You’ll fade away. You’ll live a few years–if you’re lucky–and eventually fade away. Your soul is connected to his and once he dies, you’ll just die away,” Jack picked at the wall. Watching pieces crumble. “It’ll be somewhat painless. You’ll just fall asleep like he does and not wake up.”

Julian sighed, crossing his arms. “And that’s if Abanus doesn’t kill me first.”

“Abanus…is he the demon that took you?”

“Yes, that’s him,” he moved to touch the wall, hands running down the brick wall. He spayed his hands on the wall, spreading his fingers as he tried to feel Pennsley’s true form, barricaded on the other side. “He has somehow learned that I am alive and he wants me dead—again.”

“Why would he want you dead?” Jack wondered, tilting his head.

“I don’t know? Honor? Some fucked us sense of ownership?” He shrugged, pressing his cheek against the wall, feeling the rough texture of the bricks touching his cheek. It was so cold and wet as he closed his eyes. It felt good pressed up against him. “Does it matter? He wants me dead.”

“That sounds bad,” Jack backed away from the wall. “If he and Pennsley fight, then one of them isn’t coming out alive.”

“I know.”

“We have to kill off IT’s physical body, that’s the only way to ensure he doesn’t break through this wall.”

Julian remained quiet, just feeling the power radiating through the walls touch him.

“Julian—“

“I want to be alone, right now Jack,” he whispered, voice cracking with pain. “Just, please, leave me alone for a second.”

“I’m truly sorry, Julian,” Jack’s voice whispered from behind him. He felt a soft breeze blow over him, then the room went quiet.

He was alone now.

He sobbed, holding his hands to his mouth, trying to hold back the sounds of pain he was letting out. His heart was torn apart. He was breaking into a million pieces all over again. He couldn’t find any escape from the pain. He didn’t know want he should do—what should he do?


	18. The Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kkdmfmf. So the last 4 chapters got deleted and I’m having to rewrite them.
> 
> *dying inside*
> 
> ｡゜(｀Д´)゜｡
> 
> Spelling errors. More so as I Rush to finish it before New Years ಥ_ಥ

  
   
( ~~ **Of Falling Apart**~~ )

 

 

Julian, blinked blankly, barely feeling a hand shake him from his numb state until he was jerked forward, body moving as he came into focus again. He blinked his eyes open, staring up at Pennsley, who was looking down at him in confusion, his blue eyes darting about, searching for something in the dark tunnel they were gathered in. Julian blinked again, forcing his numb mind to move forward, to not get stuck in the state again.

Move on, he urged himself, move on.

“What are you doing here?” He forced out, as he rubbed his eyes, trying to discreetly wipe away the tears in his eyes. He hoped Pennsley hadn’t noticed, but he knew very well he could have. Who knew how long he had been standing there staring at Julian with concern on his eyes. He looked down, trying to hide his face, knowing that it was probably red and puffy from all the crying he had done earlier before Pennsley found him.

“I could ask you the same question, Little One,” he asked back, his eyes flashed yellow briefly, telling Julian of his restrained annoyance. He extended a hand, offering it as support.

  
Julian reached out to grab it. He stared at their join hands, noticing how large Pennsley’s was compared to his own. He really was tall and larger than him. “I woke up with you gone.”

  
“I didn’t mean to leave, I just needed to walk around for a bit,” he mumbled, trailing behind him when Pennsley started to move. He stared at the back of Pennsley’s suit, reaching out to touch him, but his hand never reached him. He walked that way for a while, hand outstretched but never touching him, hesitating, unsure. Touching him, touching Pennsley, would only cause it to hurt more. Touching him wouldn’t help, but he couldn’t help himself from reaching out to towards Pennsley’s, throat clutching hard as his earlier feelings returned, forcing him to remember what had to happen next. He felt tears rise up in his eyes again, but with a great effort he pulled them back, along with his hand, letting it fall to his side again, fingers curling into his palm. He couldn’t touch him.

Pennsley remained silent as they walked, not saying anything, just walking. Julian didn’t say anything to him either, choosing walked back to their nest in silence. Julian, for once, was grateful for the silence between the both of them. He wasn’t sure what to say, what to do with the new found information. He would break down crying again if Pennsley started talking to him now. He hoped he could keep this wrapped and buried inside himself. If only for a little while longer so he could pretend everything would be okay.

Pennsley continue to lead them out of the tunnel and it wasn’t long before they were back to their nest, the wide openness a welcomed comfort to Julian, along with the endless pile of random toys and junk that had collected over the years. He would have to ask why Pennsley kept those sort of things around. Was there something special about them?

Pennsley stopped, spinning around with his eyes burning yellow in anger, a glare firmly in place, twisting his features into something dark. In that moment, he looked every bit like the menacing demon clown he was known for.

“You’re hiding something from me.” He tapped Julian forehead with a wide grin, menace hidden behind it. “I can tell.”

Julian turned his face away, only to have Pennsley jerk his face back, holding his chin in his large hand. He observed Julian, his eyes searching Julian’s own for answers.

“Yes, but what is it you’re hiding from me.”

“I—”

“Little One, I can read mind. I’m being nice enough not to do so,” he leaned in closer, his red nose almost touching Julian’s. “Don’t make me force the truth out of you.”

“Abanus knows I’m alive, and he’s coming for me,” He half lied, not wanting him to know all the truth of what was bothering him. How would he react if he knew what was going on inside is head?

Pennsley narrowed his eyes, not blinking as he stared longer into Julian’s own. When he finally broke the silence Julian couldn’t help but let out sigh of relief. He didn’t have to tell him what what really bothering him. He could go a little while longer this way. He promised he would ask him about it. He wasn’t going to let this destroy what he was building with him. Maybe Pennsley would never love him, maybe he would one day, it didn’t matter. All he wanted, all he needed, was to have Pennsley close to him, even if it was just for a brief time. Those few short moments, those stolen moments, would be everything he needed. Until the day Pennsley grew tired of him, until he was discarded and thrown away, he would continue to love him and would continue to do so afterwards, just as long as he was next to Pennsley, everything would be okay.

“He can’t have you,” Pennsley growled, hand tightening on his chin, making Julian wince a little at the force behind it.

“He’s not coming back to take me with him,” Julian told Pennsley, swallowing hard when Pennsley’s claws crawled out, digging themselves into his chin like sharp little daggers. “He’s coming back to kill me.”

Pennsley hissed, letting go of Julian as his claws drew more out, tearing apart his white gloves. His face twisting in anger, teeth drawing out as well as he paced in front of him. “That demon has been a pain to me for too long.”

Julian shivered at the familiar words Abanus always used to describe him.

“Once he comes, I’ll kill him.” Pennsley stopped pacing, staring ahead in silence. He walked forward, stepping onto a platform that contained a little stage.

Julian’s mouth slide slightly open as he caught sight of it, something he had not seen before. His eyes widen in surprise as he caught the words ‘Pennywise the Dancing Clown’ painted in bold letters across the top.

“There’s a circus stage here…”

“Hmm, yes,” Pennsley moved on top of the stage, searching for something.

“Is this where you got the name Pennywise ?” He asked, joining Pennsley on top of the platform. He explored around, touching things and gently pushing them. Pennsley hummed stopping his search to look up at him. The red lights making Julian’s figure appear as if it was covered in blood, washing him out and painting him bloody red.

Pennsley watched him, not saying anything as he continued to touch the stage. Julian gave bum a glance, catching a small smile graced his red lips before disappearing when their eyes met.

“You look like you belong with that little outfit I put on you,” he purred, drawing Julian in closer when he walked by Pennsley.

Julian squealed when Pennsley roughly grabbed his waist, pulling him flushed against his front. His squeal turning into a long moan when Pennsley dug his sharp teeth into his neck, blood running down his neck.

“How do you know he’s coming?” He asked, licking up the blood pouring down his neck. Julian shivered, trying to bring his mind back to the conversation.

“We’re still connected,” he managed to choke out, shivering when Pennsley tugged his neck back, forcing him to stare into his burning yellow eyes.

“You and the demon?” He growled deeply, possessiveness seeping through his demeanor, making his voice drop down an octave.

“Yes.” He winced when he felt Pennsley’s claws dig into his waist, drawing blood from there.

Pennsley narrowed his eyes possessively again. “Stay here.”

“Hey! Where are you going?”

“Don’t move.”

“Pennsley —“

“I won’t let him take you. Now stay here.”

And with that Pennsley was gone.

Julian huffed, sitting down on the ledge of the platform. He crossed his arms, closing his eyes. Great, now he was left alone to his own thoughts. Thoughts he didn’t want to have about. Thoughts about their future and the possibility of dying for the last time. He didn’t want to think. He didn’t want to know what the future held. So he let his mind drifted off, carrying him away from the problems at hand.

 

* * *

 

  
_Flashing bright lights, blurring colors and voices, the smell of cotton candy and popcorn._

Where was he?

“Step right up! You there,” a man with a top hat pointed at Julian once his vision came into focus and the world stopped spinning. He blinked, catching sight of the man with a bright smile on top of the platform. “Come on up!”

Julian startled, his gaze darted around, catching sight of red, yellows, pinks, and golds. He came to the realization that he was in a small carnival-circus like area. Crowds of people were walking past him laughing and eating away, some gathered around him, enjoying the show happening on stage. How did he get here?

“Come on up! Don’t be shy!” Said the man again, laughing at him. Julian wrinkled his nose, but then all of a sudden he was being dragged and pushed up on the stage. Someone jerked him on top and he found himself standing beside the man in the top hat and mustache. He cringe, trying to escape, only to be pulled and held closed.

“Now, dears, we seemed to have ourselves a shy one!” The man said, spinning Julian around, making Julian dizzy.

The crowd laughed, watching Julian stumble on top of the stage. He couldn’t help himself as he shot a cold glare at the man. This was humiliating!

“I promise we don’t bite here!” He chucked at the glare Julian sent his way. “Now! Dearest audience, I’ve come bring a spectacle from wide and far! And our shy little friend here will be our first guest if the night! Tell us, are you afraid of anything?”

“Uhh….” He stuttered when the crowds eyes turned to him. He felt his entire face flare in a bright blush, embarrassed from being on center stage and the center of the crowd's attention. He wasn’t used to be front and center in any place. He liked to hide behind others and now here he was with dozens of eyes on him.

“Oh! Super shy folks!”

The crowd laughed, worsening his flush. He wanted to die.

“Don’t be afraid! For tonight, you’ll be entertained!” The top hat man sang, spinning him around again. He was going to be sick. “By our very own delightful star; Pennywise the Dancing Clown!”

“What?” He asked as he crashed into a tall body. He froze when two large gloves hands grabbed him, stopping his spin. He jerked his head up to meet two brown playful eyes.

“Hiya, friend! It’s me, Pennywise the Dancing Clown!” the man said, spinning Julian again, taking advantage of his dazzled state.

The man was not Pennsley, but a normal clown dressed up person. He had a regular clown costume and makeup. He looked like an actual circus clown, red nose and all.

Where was he?

“I have to go,” he said quickly, jerking away from the clown. The person dressed as a clown, Pennywise, gave him a confused look but let him escape when he jerked away and rushed off the stage. “Uhh, I need to be somewhere.”

The crowd have an ‘awws’ and let him down and rushed away from the platform. He glanced back at the clown on last time. The clown gave him a small happy wave before turning his attention back to the crowd gathered around. So that was Pennywise? Not the monster child eating Pennywise , but the real life human Pennywise. Was he the one Pennsley killed before taking his persona?

He scurried away, diving around the crowd, trying to hide from the clown, who’s eyes he still felt following him as he made his escape. Once he felt he was a safe distance away he slowed down. He leaned against a post, sighing in relief. How did he get here? Where was he? Was this some sort of result from changing into a demon ? Nothing made sense anymore.

_Hungry_.

He jolted, jerking his head up when he heard the voice. He glanced at the people walking by him. Did he just heard a voice….

_So hungry_.

There it was again. Who said that? He check the crowd, trying to see if he could spot where the voice had come from, but he couldn’t find anyone near by who could have been talking. Strange…it was almost as if the voice was inside him head.

_Hungry. Need food._

He turned, locking his gaze on the dark woods besides the carnival. There, the voice came from inside the woods. He gave the crowd once last look, making sure no one was watching, before rushing into the woods. He brushed a branch away, stepping over dead leaves and twigs as he reached the darker parts of the woods. The voice came from inside here, he was sure of it.

_Food. Flesh._

“Hello?” He called out, glancing back to see the carnival through the thick branches of the trees. “Is anyone here?”

Silence greeted him. Julian stood there, waiting for someone to reply back, but when for no answer he turned to make his way back.

“ _Who are you?_ ” Came the voice from behind the trees.

Julian stopped mid turn, he looked back to see two glowing yellow eyes staring at him from inside the darkness of the trees. Those eyes….they looked awfully familiar.

“Hi?” He tilting his head to the side in curiosity. “Who are you?”

“ _I asked you first._ ” There was movement in the trees, the eyes moved close, the body of the mysterious person still hidden. Yes, they definitely sounded and looked a little familiar.

“My name is Julian,” he replied, straining to see who it was hiding behind the trees.   
  
“ _Well, Julian, I am with no name,_ ” the person said, moving close still, twigs snapping as he approached.

“That’s ridiculous, no one is without—“

“Kid! What are you doing here?”

Julian spun spun around to fade the new comer. It was the clown from earlier, the fake Pennywise—or was it the real one?—who was now standing a few feet away, frowning in confusion. Had the show ended already? How long had he been inside the woods?

“I—“

“You can’t be here,” he said, moving closer towards Julian. “Where are your parents?”

“My parents?” He echoed. He jerked back when he was grabbed and dragged out of the woods. He gave them one last look as they exited the dark woods and returned to the carnival. He scowled when the clown continued to pull him, dragging him around the carnival and into a more crowded area. What was happening? He was so confused. Why was he here? How did he get here?

He glanced go the right, catching sight of himself in a mirror attached to a booth and froze. He was a small kid, blonde hair and blue eyes. He looked like Jack. Wait, was he Jack? Was this his past? How….

“Come on kid,” the clown broke, tugging him again. Julian stumbled behind, frowning in confusion when he gave his reflection one last look. “Let’s find your parents. Tell me what they look like.”

“I don’t know,” he mumbled, looking around. Was he in the past? Or was this an illusion?

“How did you get separated from them? Where was the last place you saw them?” The clown asked, turning to look at him.

Julian shook his head, unsure what to answer, because he truly didn’t know where he was or who his—Jack’s—parents were. He couldn’t describe someone he didn’t know or had ever seen in his life.

The clown—the real Pennywise?—sighed, narrowing his eyes at him. Julian gulped, and gave a forced smile at the clown. The clown smiled back, leading them to a giant tent besides the carnival. They entered the tent, which contained random objects of the carnival: costumes, props, stage setups, and other random objects. He was led to the center and placed inside a smaller tent, a sleeping area for the carnival people, and told to stay.

“I’ll be right back, kid,” the clown said kneeling beside Julian. “I’ll bring some people to help locate your parents.”

“Okay,” he whispered, rubbing his arms. This was confusing. He sat there on the bed, watching the man dressed as a clown walk away. Should he get up and leave?

He looked around the tent, finding makeup and random clown objects. He poked the red paint, staining his fingers red.

“ _Hungry_.”

He jumped, looking to the side to spot the same yellow eyes staring at him from a crack inside a crate. They blinked, staring back at him.

“You’re hungry” he asked, crossing over to stand before the crate. He bent down, poking his eyes to the crack to see inside, but all he could make out was the yellow eyes staring back at him in curiosity.

“ _Hungry_ ,” they repeated, moving from inside the crate. “ _Hungry_.”

“I could bring some popcorn?” He offered.

“ _Popcorn_?”

“Popcorn, it’s my favorite.”

“ _Mine too_ ,” they said, giggling.

Julian tilted his head. That laugh sounded awfully familiar. Like Pennsley’s….wait, was this Pennsley? He pushed his face against the crate, peeking inside again and forcing his eyes to see more than just two yellow eyes staring back at him.

“Are you a clown?” He asked, squinting. “Come out.”

The yellow eyes blinked, shifting to the side before disappearing from view.

“Wait, no, come back!” He cried, pushing against the crate.

“ _Here_ ,” the voice called from behind him.

Julian twisted to look back and caught sight of a clown, but he was dressed in a different clown outfit more colorful and jumpsuit like, the red hair was bright red, alarmingly so. He looked creepy, but the yellow eyes were contrasting against the blue eye makeup. They stood out, hungry yellow eyes burning into his own. It scared him.

“You’re a clown,” he muttered. Pennsley?

“ _Clown_ ,” the clown in front of him repeated, humming, never taking his eyes off of him.

“What’s your name?”

“ _I don’t have a name.”_

“How about,” he said, thinking hard. “Pennywise , the Dancing Clown?”

The clown, his Pennsley, yet not, nodded, doing a little dramatic dance, making him giggle. He looked so cute doing that. Like a real clown.

“ _Yes, I like that,”_ he said, nodding _. “Pennywise….what’s your name?”_

“My name, is Jack,” he told him, using Jack’s name. If he was in the last he didn’t want to ruin it. Or whatever this was.

“ _Jack_ ,” Pennywise voiced, nodding again and stepping closer. “ _I’m very hungry, Jack.”_

“How about some popcorn?. He asked a little worried at the look Pennywise was giving him. Was he going to eat him ?

“ _Pop, pop, pop, popcorn_ ,” Pennywise giggled, sharp teeth showing through his smiled. “ _What are you afraid of?”_

Pennywise loomed over him, dark yellow eyes gleaming against the lights dangled from the top of the tent’s roof. “Ahh, is just simple fear. The dark, the shadows, the unknown.”

“Penny,” he plead, backing away until his back hit the crate. No, his Pennsley would never use his own fear against him. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t him. No. No. No.

“ _Yes_ ,” Pennywise hissed, the lights flickering off and on before slowly dying out one by one. “ _That’s It, fear.”_

Julian felt his throat constrict, the lights dying out, draping him in total darkness. Was it the fear of the dark or the fear of Pennsley doing this to him? Making him afraid? It hurt and made him scare. He would never do that to him, He this wasn’t Pennsley. This was Pennywise, a more twisted version of the clown demon he loved. This wasn’t him, but yet it was. An older version of him. And now he was going to kill him.

He felt a hand close over his mouth, cutting off his scream, and then he felt a bite—not a loving bite that Pennsley always gave him, but a hard bite, deep enough to cut his skin and tear it out. He screamed in pain, pushing against Pennywise , trying to tell him to stop.

Stop, please, stop. He screamed in his head, hand pushing against Pennywise’s body. Stop. Stop. Stop.

“What’s going on?!” Yelled a voice, making Pennywise drop his limp body to the floor. Julian couldn’t move, he was losing too much blood. He was dying. He fixed his weak eyes against the door, staring at the clown, the other human Pennywise, stare at the scene in horror.

When did the lights turn back on?

“You monster, he’s a kid!” The clown said, rushing at them, but Pennywise simply flicked his wrist and the man’s neck twisted, killing him.

“ _Adults, hate adults_ ,” Pennywise hissed, turning back to Julian’s body. “ _Hungry, so tasty”_

Julian tried to speak, blood gushing out his mouth, running down his chin and into the ground below. This was how Jack died. What a horrible way to die. He closed his eyes against the demonic grin Pennywise was giving him.

A gloved hand jerked him up, pulling him forward.

“Julian, wake up,” Pennsley hissed, jerking him again.

Julian snapped his eyes open, finding himself in Pennsley’s lair. Pennsley, not Pennywise, was crouched before him, blue eyes staring at him with concern. He scrambled back, trying to get away from Pennsley, fear rushing through him. He had never been afraid of Pennsley before, but now he was afraid of him. He felt fear, something he only felt around Abanus. He shouldn’t be afraid, but the fear of being betrayed by him was still fresh in his mind. He didn’t want to feel that way. He didn’t want to be afraid of someone that he was supposed to be and to trust with all his heart.

Pennsley recoiled back, nose wrinkling, no doubt catching the scent of his fear. “You’re afraid of me?”

It broke Julian’s heart to hear those words utter form Pennsley. “No, Pen…I just, I’m…”

He couldn’t find the right words to explain what he felt. How did he explained what he felt?

“You’re afraid. I smell it,” Pennsley continued, backing away from him. Julian reached for him, but Pennsley shook his head, blue eyes darkening with sadness.

“Pennsley, wait! Pennywise !” Julian rushed forward, trying to stop him from leaving, but his hand met air and was unable to stop Pennsley from disappearing, figure quickly fading away from his view, vanishing into thin air, as if he had never been there in the first place. “Pennywise ! Penny! Pennsley, come back !”

 


	19. Falling Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spelling errors as I rush to finish this ಠ_ಠ

~~**_Without You_ ** ~~

 

_"Pennsley! Pennsley , wait, Pennsley!_ ” Julian searched the entire lair frantically, trying to find him, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t there. He had left, hurt that he was afraid of him. Since when had Pennsley ever shown hurt or pain? Had he been changing that much

“Pennsley!” He cried, tears rushing down his face. He rubbed the tears away.

_Stop crying,_ he scold himself, forcing the tears down. He wasn’t a baby. He needed to get his emotions under control. They were the reason Pennsley had run away hurt. They were the reason he was so alone right now.

Julian let out a sob. God, he was alone now, with only his thoughts as company, something he hadn’t wanted from the beginning. He needed to find Pennsley. He needed to explain , to tell him, why he had reacted that way. Was any of that real? Was that how Jack had died? This was becoming too much for him. Everything was happening to quickly. The truth, the lies, the secrets, the past the future. All of it was becoming too much. He need to escape, to be held. He needed Pennsley, but he was alone.

He was now alone, and afraid. Afraid of the dark, of being left alone to fall apart and having no one there to catch him. He was going to fall now, fall down the void he had been pushed it and there was no one around right now to catch him.

_Come back,_ he pleaded inside his mind, screaming it. _Come back and hold me. I’m falling apart. Please, come back._

He was falling apart. He was alone. He was alone and afraid and falling with no one there to catch him, to hold him, to reassure him everything would be okay. There as no one here to catch him.

_I won’t let him take you._

Pennsley’s words echoed through his head as he crashed down besides the mountain of lost toys, wishing he could bring Pennsley back from wherever he ran off to. This only ensure to complicate his decision. That dream, that vision, whatever it had been, had showed him that Pennsley wouldn’t hesitate to hurt him, but was that really him or was it his past? Could he change who he was or was he always going to be a monster? A killer, someone who didn’t know what love was?   
He promised. He promised to save him, to keep him safe from the demon after him, but where was he now? Apart from his, hiding from him, and he had left Julian alone. Alone in his own dark thoughts to fuel the fear already growing inside him. The fear, not of Pennsley, but of being left alone to fall. To fall and not be loved by someone he had torn his heart out and handed to in a silver platter. Because that’s what he had done. He had given that stupid clown his heart and now he was falling.

And he couldn’t decide what to do. He was so torn about what he should do. He could end it here, let him go, walk away and never look back, forget this edge happened and move on. He could do it. He could walk away from it all and never return. Pennywise would eat, sleep and continue his endless cycle. Alone and using the fear of others to kill them. He could do it. He could. The question was, would he do it? Would he walk away from this and never look back? Yes, it felt like such a short time for him. Such a short time to fall head first into a void that had no end. That’s what it felt like, loving Pennywise felt like falling and never reaching the end. It was endless, the feeling, the emotions, the sensations. Everything about it was consuming.

He thought back on all the encounters he had with Pennsley. Back to the very first one, where Julian was so straightforward and teased the clown into believing he was scared. He had been so different then, so unaffected by the demon clown who could have easily killed him. He hadn’t been afraid, he hadn’t hesitated to tease and joke around with an entity that cold easily kill him. What was he afraid of now? Being alone?

He wasn’t afraid. He wasn’t afraid. And maybe if he kept repeating it, he won’t be.

“ _Julian_.”  
  
His body jerked, quickly looking up to catch sight of Abanus standing in front of him, his long staff gripped around his long bones hand. He tapped his fingers, tilting his head as he watched Julian scramble up to stand. Abanus didn’t move, he just stood there watching him as he moved into a defensive position.

“Abanus, you sure don’t waste your time,” he joked drily, twitching when the demon move closer.

Abanus let out a laugh, the shrill sound causing his body to revolt. He thought he had more time than this. He wasn’t ready to face Abanus right now. He was still not prepare for an encounter with the demon who had raped and controlled him as a child. In all honesty, he may never be prepared to face the monster who had done all those things to him when he was a little kid.

“I told you I would come,” Abanus sighed, twiddling with his staff, leaning against it casually, like he was having a conversation with a friend. “I have to kill you, and end this thing we both started. For the sake of both our lives.”

“The sake of both our lives?! We started?! No, this was all you!” Julian cried in outrage. “This was always you! I never encouraged you or forced you to touch me, to put your filthy hands on me! I was a child, an innocent child, I didn’t know the evilness of the world until I met you!”

Abanus laughed, waving his outburst away. “Does it matter now? Does it? Will it change anything? No, it won’t. This will it end, you will die, and I will continue you to live. To thrive and live while you die and your soul disappears.”

“I’m not going down so easily,” Julian balled up his hands, baring his teeth in anger.

“Ahh, of course not,” Abanus nodded, pointing his staff towards Julian. “What kind of Pet would you be if you didn’t night the hand that fed you?”

“I hope you rot in hell.”

“Old news, lets start this. I got somewhere else to be later tonight,” Abanus moved forward, trapping Julian. “It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that I don’t. And never did.”

Lightning fast, Abanus took hold of Julian, pulling him in and digging his clawed hand around his neck while his other hand dug itself inside his chest, twisting inside. Julian let out a scream of agony, clutching at the hand around his neck as he choked on blood. His body felt like it burning, the hand inside him twisting, causing him to cry out.

“Pet, look at you,” he hissed, drawing him closer. “Such burning passion inside you, only to be snuffed out.”

“Go fuck yourself,” Julian coughed, blood pouring out of his mouth.

“I rather much fuck You.”

He laughed, digging his close deeper into Julian’s neck, drawing out more blood. “I want to make this quick for you, but you’re making it really hard for me to control myself. You always did smell and look so enticing. I want to break you one last time.”

“No, let me go!” Julian kicked out, trying to hit Abanus as he was lifted higher.

“Just hold still, like you’ve always done,” Abanus purred, pushing him to the ground. “Hold. Still.”

“No, stop, no,” Julian cried, hitting Abanus weakly as his clothes were torn off, the little costume Pennsley had out on him tearing away like paper under Abanus’ claws. “No!”

“I said hold still!” Abanus growled, trying to flip him around to tear away the shorts of his costume.

Julian kicked, screamed, tired to get away, but Abanus always did have a way of rendering him weak and afraid. He had always been afraid, always scared of him. The monster that had used him and turned him into a mildness puppet. He was stronger than this, but Abanus knew which strings to pull to make him dance for him. He always became a puppet for him, a mindless puppet that danced to his tune. In his hands he was that small child, afraid and powerless to stop the demon controlling him, using him. He was scared. He had always been scared. He was weak against him, always so weak, and he could never win. All he could do was scream and push away, but those efforts were fruitless against the demon holding him down.

It was as if he was a child again.

“Ahh, their it is, my Pet,” Abanus purred, dragging his nails down Julian’s back, tearing away the fabric of his costume. “That submission that I taught you. You haven’t forgotten it.”

Julian shook his head, crying out for help. No one ever helped.

“Yes, sing for me.”

The stage lights flared on, causing both of them to look up startled. Abanus growled when he caught sight of Pennsley on stage, grinning away as the lights and music came blaring on. Then he started dancing. If you called what he was doing dancing. If the moment hadn’t been so tense Julian would have laughed, but right now all he wanted was to cry in relief.

He came back for him. To save him.

“Fucking clown,” Abanus growled, tossing Julian to the side.

Pennsley laughed, jumping down from his platform and bowing. “Not entertaining enough for you? Tough crowd.”

Pennsley gave Julian a quick once over, checking him quickly before turning his full attention to Abanus.

Abanus growled again, stepping over Julian to make his way closer to Pennsley. “I can’t wait to kill you.”

“Ha!” Pennsley broke out in laughter, yellow eyes flashing in anger and amusement. “Kill me? You weak little demon?! Don’t make me laugh!”

Abanus snarked, red eyes glowing inside the ram skull. “Oh, I can’t possibly kill you, but your memories might.”

“What?” Pennsley asked with a flat voice. He stared with his first in his hips, tossed out a little in a mocking stance.

“Ahh, your memories,” Abanus repeated. “They’ll be the ones to kill you.”

“I’m confused?” Pennsley said, talking his index finger against his chin. Abanus moved closer, taking advantage of Pennsley’s befuddled state. “How could those flimsy things kill me?”

Abanus chuckled darkly. Julian’s stomach dropped in dread. Oh, no, not that.   
Abanus had done that trick on his plenty of times. And each time had caused him to go crazy, to lose a part of himself. It as like stitching himself back together after being torn apart into a million little pieces. It was trick Abanus knew well. He used it on him all the time. To keep him docile and numb so he wouldn’t be able to fight back against everything Abanus did to him. It was a cruel trick. A trick that had him screaming and rocking back in a huddle each time he awake from it.

Abanus could tear a part of him away, remold it and put it back inside his mind. Leaving whatever was left behind gone. He could also bring forth something forgotten and lost. Those time, those many times he took something then forced it back to show him what he took always left him numb for days. It had been too much for his mind to follow. Would it be the same for Pennsley? Those memories forgotten, they were too much, too many. They would break his mind into a million pieces, shattering him.

  
“No!” He cried out, reaching forward to stop Abanus, but it was too late. He was too far away to stop what was about to happen next.

“Let’s find out,” Abanus said, moving forward and taking hold of Pennsley’s forehead. He dug his hands into Pennsley’s temples. Pennsley snarled, clawing at the sudden unexpected attack. But it was to late. Abanus had him.

Julian screamed.

  
 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my shortest chapter I believe. (ಥ﹏ಥ) 
> 
> Is this too rushed....? ༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ


	20. The Unexpected Awareness of Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s midnight and I’m tired and now sleepy
> 
>  
> 
> Spelling and grammar errors that I shall fix soon T^T

 

  
Screaming, there was loud screaming. Someone was screaming. Was he screaming? Who was screaming? His body hurt, his mind hurt. What was happening? It felt so heavy and overwhelming. It hurt. His mind hurt.

“Pennsley, hold on!”

_Who was that?_

His head turned to catch sight of a blonde male crawling toward him, body covered in blood, hand held over his stomach as blood dripped down into the floor below him. He stared, transfixed at the blonde who was struggling to make his way over to him. He had such usual piercing yellow cat slit eyes. They were blown wide, leaving only a thin circle of golden amber as the black pupils swallowed the bright color.

“Pennsley,” they sobbed, crashing down when a giant tall ram headed being with a long sharp pointed staff pressed their foot down the blonde’s back. Their body collapsed under the weight, falling down with a thud. They cried out in pain, screeching as they coughed up blood. The blonde tried to lift themselves against the weight pushing them down, but the cow headed giant only laughed, pushing down harder against their back.

A bloodied hand reached for him, amber eyes wide in fear—that smelled very delicious—as the being above them continued to laughed. The being brought down his long staff with sharp ends poking the back of the blonde.

“Hold, still Pet,” the being above the blonde growled, rising the staff high up, ready to drop and end the life of the little blonde sobbing in pain.

Despite the fear in their eyes, and blood covering them, the blonde reached out for him. His hand dropped as he let out a scream when the staff stabbed him through his shoulder, body thrashing in pain on the ground.

He winced at the sight, blood gushing out into the cold floor. The torn ringmaster costume was already bright red with blood and the new blood pouring out of the blonde soaked it a darker shade of red. The sight was gruesome.

“I said hold still,” hissed the being above the little blonde, who was shaking in pain. The blonde risked moving their eyes up, catching his gaze. Fear and pain plain in their eyes.

_Who were they?_

“Pennsley.” They cried softly, twitching in pain when the ram headed being twisted the staff.

The ram headed being looked up, setting his hollow red eyes on him. The red eyes darken as they catcher his. He was sure if the being had a mouth it would be curled up in a smirk.

“He doesn’t remember you, anymore, little Pet. That’s what happens when you force a few millennium worth of pain forward,” the being laughed, jerking the staff out of the blonde.

The blonde whimpered, head dropping as the pain became too unbearable for them.. They were left sob silently now, body quivering in pain.

_Who were they?_

_Who was he?_

“Look at the confused expression,” the being laughed again. He bent down, digging a clawed hand into the blood soaked jacket of the small blonde. He dragged the small body underneath him up, cashing the blonde to kick out weakly. The being roughly grabbed the blonde’s chin and forcing them to look at him. Their eyes met, amber filling with tears as he blinked blankly at them. Were they someone he should know?. “He doesn’t remember anything.”

They blonde jerked their head away, glaring at the monster holding them up. He kicked out at the being. Baring his bloody teeth at the ram headed being.

“Go to hell, Demon!”

“Don’t worry, little Pet, soon you’ll be nothing but dust.”

The blonde was tossed to the floor, eyes focused on the being above them in fear and anger.

“He’s going to watch and not do anything,” he hissed down to the little blonde cowering in pain. “And you’ll die and fade away from him.”

He raised the staff above, ready to strike down and kill the blonde below him. “And all will be as it should be.”

Seconds before the staff thrust down, before the final blow could be death, the little blonde turn their head to look at them, eyes blown wide, tears rushing down their face. They smiled, a smile full of sadness and acceptance. Their arm dragged across the concrete floor, fingers reaching across the ground out for him as they stared intensely into his own eyes.

_Did he know them…._

“My love,” they whispered lowly, a last twisted smile, seconds away from death, a final goodbye. To him. Why? “Pennsley.”

He felt his body move, pushing the pain he felt aside, claws drawn out, teeth bared as he launched forward. He knocked the being that stood over the small blonde away,, growling loudly when it hit him back with the long staff.

“Always,” hit. “Getting,” hit. “In,” dodge, hit. “The,” swing. “Way!”

He didn’t have time to think, only act and dodge every attack the through his way.

“I should kill you first,” it said, attacking him. “But what point is there when the Little Pet is seconds away from dying?”

“No, stop!” Cried the blonde, trying to get up but only managing to crash back on the ground.

“Your death will bring me great joy, Celestial,” It hissed above him, raising the staff.

He let out a long growl, readying his body for the attack. He felt a jolt, and then his body was thrown across the room. He rolled away in shock as he quickly stood up to look at the pace he had been moments before.

The blonde kneeled there now, staff speared inside and through him.

“Such a noble, Pet,” the thing hissed, driving the staff deeper until it pushed through the other side. “So loyal until the end.”

“I’m not afraid of you,” the blonde spat, lips twisted into a snarl. His teeth stain with blood as he hissed back.

“You’re so foolish, Julian–“

_I won’t let him take you._

Then it all came rushing back. The pain, the fear, the hate, the betrayal. It all rushed back. He remembered everything. He remembered trying to destroy humanity, trying to fight his way through worlds so he could please his brother, his loved, only to be exiled into the world he hated so much. He had been trapped, forced to sleep again and again—starving for 27 years until he awoke. He ate, slept, killed, slept, killed, killed, eat. A vicious cycle of consumption.

Until he stumbled across a little human, who’s fear smelled like home. Such delicious fear. It had been more powerful and consuming than his own need to eat.

_Was this love?_

His name, not the one he had known and forgotten, but the one the little human had given him was everything to him. He felt content when his human called him that–with such a devoted voice–in the cold room underneath the town Derry. His human. His Julian.

“I think it is you, who is foolish, demon,” he hissed, feeling his body changed, growing stronger. He advanced, catching the demon off guard and throwing him off of his little human.

“You!” The demon snarled, circling around Pennsley, eyes fixed on his own. “I thought I erased you! I’ll make sure to end you correctly along with my Pet. This time—“

A staff shoved through the demon’s chest, cutting off his sentence.

“You talk too much,” Julian said, smiling from behind the demon. The demon collapsed, falling down before Julian. “I think it’s time for you to be quiet now.”

“You–“

“Fuck, you, Abanus,” Julian growled, digging the staff deeper, ensuring Abanus couldn’t survive from it. “Go back to whatever corner of hell you crawled out of and stay there.”

Abanus growled, shadows taking him away as he faded, his physical body disappearing. Without a body he couldn’t walk earth and he was weakened. He wouldn’t return for some time, it would take centuries for him to be back on earth and even then he would still be too weak to do much.

Julian looked up at Pennsley, giving him a warm smile.

Pennsley smiled back, relieved the battle was over. He watched his human take a step towards him, before collapsing as well on the ground. He rushed forward, catching him as he fell. He cradled the human close, making sure not to jostle him too much as he moved him.

He felt the same as before, when he watched Julian fall down the building and was helpless to help. He couldn’t do anything, but watch him fall.

He didn’t understand back then what he had been feeling, but now he did. He knew now what this feeling was.

_Fear_.

He was afraid. Afraid to lose his little human, the only one who’s laid eyes on his and not screamed in fear. The only one who’s tried to understand him, a being older than his universe.

He brushed back his hair, smearing blood on his white gloves. Julian smiled up at him, blood running down his mouth.

“Crazy clown, creepy clown,” he dashed, coughing up blood. “Why the look on your face?”

“I…”he trailed off, unsure what to say. What did he say? He didn’t know how to correctly express everything he was feeling inside of himself. How long had he gone without feeling anything but hate and the need to consume? So little words could be used to describe how grateful he was, for everything his little human had done for him. How did he tell him?

“Are you afraid?” The little human asked, reaching up and brushing his cheek lovingly.

“I…”

“Don’t be, I knew two people wouldn’t walk away from this fight. I couldn’t do it,” he whispered, looking away. “I couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t do what?” He asked, tilting his head to the side.

The little human looked back, smiling. “I don’t think it matters now. I don’t think it ever did.”

Julian felt his eyes focused again on Pennsley, sighing. He really needed to get his life check. Here he was again dying. He gave the other a weak smile, trying to reassure them he would be okay.

“Stop that,” he said when Pennsley gave him another worried look. “I know I’m dying. You don’t have to feel sorry or pity.”

“It’s not pity I feel. And you’re not going to die,” he replied, leaning closer so his mouth rested against his own.

“No, don’t do that, you don’t have enough energy,” he said, weakly pushing Pennsley away. “You need your energy.”

“What good am I,” Pennsley began, rushing his cheek with his thumb. “If I can’t protect my little human. So squish and vulnerable, my little human. You’ll be the death of me.”

Julian tried to protest again, to push him away, but Pennsley held him firmly. He forced his mouth open, kissing him as he poured some of his Deadlights inside him again, healing him. Julian tried jerking away, failing in his struggles as Pennsley’s grip strengthened. He wasn’t going to be able to escape.

When Pennsley stopped, pulling away he smiled down at him, blue eyes sparkling with something akin to love. Julian felt tears welled up in his eyes.

“What have you done?”

“I couldn’t let you die.”

“You should have let me die! I’m tired of living! Why don’t you let me die?”

“Maybe I’m tired of living as well. I have lived longer, and worked harder than you.”

“I don’t need to live.”

“Neither do I, but you never asked for this,” Pennsley said, laying down beside him, turning his head to look at him. “I think it’s only right.”

“No, no, no!” Julian sat up, grabbing Pennsley as he went limp in his grip. “Stop that!” No!”

“Pennsley!”

Julian once, for as long as he could recall, wished for freedom. He wanted to be free, to escape everything, to be normal. He wished it for so long, craved it like a dying made thirsting for water. Freedom. Yes, he wished for it. Dreamed for it. Desired it.

He always thought that freedom would mean everything to him. That once he was done hiding, done running, he would be able to do as he wished. There wouldn’t be anyone telling him to stop or what to do. It would be him and him alone that decided his fate. The nightmares would stop, the shadows wouldn’t follow him anymore, and the constant dread of death would no longer linger at every turn. He would be able to walk outside a room and know that death wasn’t following him wherever he went. It would be what he always truly desired. To be free. Free of his nightmare. To be able to wake up and greet the waking world.

But now, while he kneeled on the ground, broken and tired, holding the hand of the only being that had ever showed him kindness, Julian only wished for more time. More time to truly be with him, to never be apart, and to always be together, but fate had always been cruel to Julian.

He should have known.

He shouldn’t have gotten in as deep as he was now. Because here he was, crying over a Celestial Demonic Alien, wishing for his curse to be lifted, that he didn’t have to leave him for three decades. He wanted time —needed it.

His heart was breaking.

But fate was cruel, especially to him. No pleading, no amount of groveling would stop what was to come. Pennsley would fall into his long rest, like all the previous times before, and wake only almost three decades later. Even now Julian could see Pennsley fading, falling deep into sleep. He had never truly understood why he needed rest, only that this body wasn’t the real Pennsley. It was just a physical body that had his essence trapped on Earth.

A cage, Pennsley had called it one day when Julian had asked him. That’s all it had ever been to Pennsley. A stupid unless cage that had him trapped on earth, desperate to escape, but with no way out.

Julian had learned that Pennywise—Pennsley as he called him now—had been “put” on earth as a form of punishment from his previous lover, Maturin The Turtle, for going against some of the Twelve Guardians Of the Beams holding up the Dark Tower. Pennsley didn’t tell him much, too guarded to even let him into that part of him life yet, but he had told him enough to understand. Pennywise didn’t like humanity, he saw them as a plague on the planet Maturin had “created” and tried to reason with his ex lover to kill them off before they destroyed everything Maturin had cherished about the planet he loved so much. But Maturin had gone against him, saying that humanity were what their Creator, Gan, had intended to be on his beloved planet and that they too were precious to him. Pennsley, in anger, tried to destroy humanity, trying to end them before they became too powerful. His actions caused a great upset in the Macroverse, starting a war that lasted for centuries, before he lost. His ex loved, angry and disappointed with him, punished him by throwing his essence into the planet he hated so much, trying to teach him a lesson, only for his hatred to grow. Pennsley had been trapped on earth, sent back into time, to learn a lesson, but how badly it backfired when he forgot the a major part of himself in the fall, only keeping his burning hatred for humanity.

When Maturin caught wind of Pennsley’s actions towards humanity, he locked him away to slumber every three decades or so. It was a form of forgiveness, so he could start anew again, but every time it would always end the same. With Pennsley attacking humanity and killing them with no mercy. The cycle always continued and never ended, and little by little Pennsley lost all rationality, always waking up blood thirsty and insane. And this, It, Pennywise is what he became, the darker part of himself unleashed for all the world to see. This was what he was now, a Celestial being filled with hatred and anger with an insatiable hunger to consume everything good.

That’s why Julian couldn’t fault him, couldn’t begin to understand his pain and anger. It became Pennywise and soon Pennywise became Pennsley. Everything unravel and the truth came out. He wasn’t such a monster now. Julian but everything he had worked so hard on was coming to a close.

“Don’t go,” Julian cried, clutching Pennsley’s hand harder in his blood covered one. “Don’t leave me alone.”

Pennywise didn’t replied back, just stared at the crying face of his friend, his lover, with a small smile.

“It’s okay, you’ll be okay,” he whispered to his little human. How he had learned to love such a hopeless little thing was beyond him, but he did. He loved Julian. Somehow he still learned to love. “No more demons to chase after you, little one.”

“No, I don’t want you to leave me! You promised to stay by my side, you promise to never leave,” he argued back.

Pennywise gave him a weak laugh.

“You’re free now. Free from the demon,” he paused, smiling sadly at his little human. “Free from me.”

“You promised,” Julian cried out again, trying to reason with the rapidly fading Celestial. “You don’t even know if you’ll come back this time!”

Pennywise giggled, giving the human one of his old laughs, wanting the little human to smiled one last time before he faded completely. Just one more smile, he thought sadly watching his human cry tears for him, for him. He didn’t deserve those tears he don’t deserve the little human’s loyalty, it he had it and he cherished it. His little Julian, who was so loyal to him, such bound faith for someone so twisted and lost. He didn’t think he would ever be worthy of the little humans affection. Maybe one day.

“I think,” Pennywise began softly. “ I think it’s time for me to float, this time.”

With one last breath, Pennywise the Dancing Clown, was gone, yellow eyes staring blankly at the human before him. Julian’s screams echoed throughout the endless tunnels of Derry, Maine.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sad now.


	21. Every 27 Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get in Losers we finna float. 
> 
> Okay, the end. Many thanks to whoever continued to read my crappy story and my typos and spelling errors and probably grammar errors. Sorry. I will fix them. Hopefully sooooon. I know they’re bothersome. 
> 
> Thanks to those who’ve left kudos and comments:) y’all the best. <3 
> 
> There might be a second part. There might not. It depends. (^…^)
> 
> I did finish before New Years so yay. Even after the last four chapters got deleted. 0..0

**New York City, New York**

 

_four months later …_  
  
He forgot what snow felt like. The cold wetness against his warm skin. It had been too long since he felt something like that. He had spent the last four months wondering the tunnels of Derry. Broken and confused. He had gathered Pennsley and left him inside his platform surrounded by his small toys. There wasn’t much their for him to do but wonder and organize the toys laying around. He didn’t really know what to do and he didn’t feel the need to leave the tunnels.

He wanted to stay with Pennsley. He didn’t want to leave him alone, but he wasn’t sure if he would even wake up again Che could wait twenty seven years for him under Derry. He could do it, but what if he waited and never woke up again ? What if he spent all that time down here and when the time came he never did wake up? He was scared to leave, scared to stay and be disappointed. He didn’t want to leave him alone, but he didn’t want to be here and see him fade away each day.

He spent four months under Derry walking around like a ghost before the hunger hit him. He needed to eat souls to live now. So he left Pennsley there, after one last good bye he walked away and kept walking until he reached the nearest town besudes Derry. And then he ate and continued to eat and eat all the evil people he ran into. Those people who were abusers, who were molesters, rapists he ate them and left their bodies buried behind where they could never be found again.

He never did run into Jack again. Maybe he was doing better than him, he hoped so, and that was good. He didn’t want to face him and tell him his past, if it even was his past. He needed to move on and leave Derry behind. He should walk away from derrya rn maybe one day, when he was ready, he would return to see Pennsley again. If he ever woke up again. He needed to learn how to live with what he was now. A demon.

What did that mean to him now and his future? He would spend the rest of eternity eating souls and outlining everyone he knew. He didn’t know how it would change his appearance. Would he stay the same he was now? He would have to be constantly moving and stay away from everyone. He could never have a normal life like the others. He would never see Eddie again or stay too long with his parents.

And that’s how Julian found himself, standing outside th cold of the familiar big light cream colored house, a small mansion really, hesitant if whether to knock on the door or walk away. He didn’t know what awaited him on the other side. Would they want to see him? All that remained of the little boy who had stuck to his mother skirts was gone. He wasn’t that little high anymore. He had gone through so much to be that boy ever again. He had changed so much. First with the Convent and now with the events they occurred in Derry. He was different in a none human way now. He wasn’t human. He wasn’t like them and he should probaly walk away now before he began something that would end up horribly.

Would they accept this new him? They had already seen a fraction of who he was before they sent him away. If they couldn’t deal with him then, what made it a possibility they would now? He would be sneaking out every day to eat a Soul or there might some sort of unexpected change in his body that caused them to notice he was no longer human.

Before he could make up his mind, however, the door was opened. In front of him stood his mother, older and with wrinkles. How long had it been? Too long since he last saw her. He had been just a little scared kids traumatized by the weight of the world, but now here he was, an adult at heart now.

“Julian?” She asked, shocked by his sudden appearance.

“Hi, mom,” he said, trying a smile for the first time in the last eight months.

She hugged him, wrapping him up in the familiar warmth he had known when he was little. He couldn’t help but hug her back. He felt her shake with sobs, finally being able to hold her son for the first time in the past eight years.

“Susan, is someone up front?” Came the voice of his father from with in the house. Julian caught sight of his dad as he rounded the corner, and he too froze in shock at finding their son standing before them. “Julian?”

Julian pulled away from his crying mother, stepping towards his dad. His dad did stayed silent as he walked towards him, not saying a word as he stopped feet away from him.

“Hi, dad,” he said, the same as he had with his mom.

He got the same reaction from his dad as he did with his mother. He clutched him close, holding his tightly against himself. Julian felt tears threaten to escape. He always had thought his family had left him, forget nun the Convent, but in reality his family had missed him just as much as he had.

“Mommy?” Came a small voice from behind him and his dad.

Julian jerked away in surprised and took in the small body of a little girl dressed in floating balloons and holding a stuff monkey while rubbing her small eyes with a tiny hand. She looked up at her dad lifting her arms, wanting to be carried.

When his dad had her in his arms, he turned to Julian smiling at him. “Julian, this is your sister, Vivian.”  
Vivian waved a small hand to him. “Hello! I’m three!”

Julian couldn’t help but laugh at the small girl, wiping away tears, and grinning brightly at the small girl. “Hello, I’m Julian, but you can call me Jewels.”

“Jewels! Jewels!” She cheered happily.

His mom closed the door behind them and ushered them inside the house, guiding him to the living room. She warmly told him to sit while she brought some warm milk and cookies for them all. Vivian cheered at the offer. She smiled, shaking with excitement at the treat. Julian took the opportunity studied his younger sister. She didn’t get the fair complexion of his father or mother, instead she looked more like his mother’s parents. They both had dark curly hair and tan complexions. She had his moms hazel eyes, bordering on brown though. She was the complete opposite of what he looked like, which was all pale shades and blue eyes. He guess it was only right.

“We’re glad to have you home, Julian,” his dad told him, smiling at him kindly.

Julian smiled back at him. “Good to be home.”

****  
“It’s been such a long time, Julian,” his mother said, handing him a plate of cookies.

“I know,” he said taking one and nibbling it. All human food, even the ones he had thought were delicious, tasted like stale bread. Nothing tasted the same now that he was a demon. Everything was different. He hated it. He wanted to taste food.

“Too long,” she said again smiling kindly. “We misses you.”

Julian forced a smile. “Yeah, it wasn’t like you couldn’t visit me in the Convent.”

Her smile faltered as he set the cookie down. He was done for a little while pretending.

“We wanted to visit you,” she said, trying to hold his hand but he snatched it away. “We wanted to so badly to Julian, but you have to understand. It was just so hard for us—“

“Hard for you? Are you fucking kidding me?” He asked, trying to reign in the urge to hissed and bare his teeth. He needed to maintain a human appearance in front of them. “I’m the one that got raped as a child. I’m the one that faced a demon for months. Please don’t come at me telling me how hard it was for you. You weren’t there for me. You weren’t there when I needed you.”

“I’m sorry,” she cried, covering her face and crying louder.

His dad remained silent, not saying a word.

“I was scared and you left me alone. You tossed me aside when you realized I wasn’t normal anymore,” Julian continued. “You could have visit, you could have tried to be my parents. But you weren’t. And I had to deal with it alone. I’m still dealing with it.”

“Julian,” his mother cried.

“You should be ashame. To call yourself parents. You left me and forgot me and made another when you realized I was broken.”

He got up and walked away, exiting through the backdoor as he left them there to cry. He hadn’t meant to let all those feelings out, but he had just snapped when she had said those words to him. He missed Pennsley. Coming here was a mistake. He wanted t9 return back home. To Derry and stay buried under in those tunnels. And die next to him. Like he should have.

“Jewels, I heard mommy and daddy yelling,” came a small voice from beside him. He startled, looking to his right and finding his sister standing there holding a small clown plushie.

He wanted to cry at the sight.

“A clown?”

“They’re funny and they make jokes!” She defended, huggging the plushie closer.

He let out a long sigh. “Let’s get you back inside.”

“Will you tell me bed time story?” She asked as he carried her to her room.

“Sure,” he said as he continued to carry his sister up to her room and tucking her in. She grabbed his shirt, refusing to let go when he went to leave. He really didn’t want to, but she wasn’t letting him go.

“What is it?” He asked her, sitting beside her bed.

“Tell me a story!” She demanded, pointing at him with her tiny finger.

Julian smiled at her cuteness. “Well, I see you like clown, so why don’t I tell you a story about a clown I know—used to know.”

“Who’s that?” She asked with wide eyes.

He hummed getting comfortable on the chair bed beside her. “His name was Pennywise, Pennywise the Dancing Clown.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again :) 
> 
> Happy New Year

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Feel free to tell me what you think!
> 
> Depending on how life I'll update or continue the story:)
> 
> This plot is more fickle than the weather.


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